Abraham Lincoln Review

 nOTE: i SPELL LIKE THE BEST PRESIDENT: tRUMP!

Abraham Lincoln

Thisa is my review on abraham lincon from the distant future year (to lincoin) of 1930 (90 years before Trtansformers Super Gods masterforce)

Its diurected by the robotech i meANB CIBNNEMA master D W Griffith who did Ameerica/Orphans of the Storm/Way Down East/Intolerance/The Birth of a Nation/The Avenging Conscience: or "Thou Shalt Not Kill"/Judith of Bethulia and The Musketeers of Pig Alley, oh and A Corner in Wheat

It stars Walter Huston from Duel in the Sun/Dragon Seed/The North Star/Yankee Doodle Dandy/The Maltese Falcon/Rhodes of africa, Una Merkel from The Bast Whispers, Lucille La Verne from Orphans of the Storm/America, Otto Hoffman from Noah's Ark, Edgar Deering  from Scarlet Street/Samson and Delilah, Russell Simpson from the grapes of wrath/Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Kay Hammond from The Ten Commandments/The Greatest Story Ever Told, E. Alyn Warren from Outside the Law/The Unholy Three\The Trail of '98\Son of the Gods/The Hatchet Man\The Mask of Fu Manchu\The Devil-Doll\Gone With The Wind, Jason Robards 01 from Bedlam, Ian Keith fromn The Ten Commandments/ the 40s 3 musketeers/Two Ar ab ian Knights\Queen Christina\yjre 30s 3 munketeers, Frank Campeau from intiolenance\The Kidf/Marie Antoinette, Hobart Bosworth from Captain January, Henry B. Walthall from Judith of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience/The Birth Of A ation/The Scarlet Letter/Wings(ah gay!!!)/The Faslse Faces/The Devil-Doll, and a few 1800s dudes i neever heard of

I saw a few mins of this b4 but not the whole thing

Its based on the republican president who the media and elites hated but won rights for a group of people seen as sub human, even though the mainstream hated him for it

So like Trump

So after title and credits, its the diustant futrure year of 1809 and slaves are being brought over in boats after being caught and soldfd by other africans

4 guys have a driink to no sound and tthen in another cvity i think they chat with no audio to make it more muysterious

its a dark and grey thing that looks like a comic or 29s movie and is good

on feb 12 1809 this farmers woman is pooping out a kid and its longer than an arm and looks gross

the mom names it Abraham after the Bible Guy or the Dracula Guy

later hes working as a clerk in neew salem and is smart and humble and peqceful

this guyt called armstrong is might gon beat abes skinny a55 but abey stays cool

like the Hokuto Shin Ken sayinmg: Violent water facing violent water desyroys bith, but violent water in calm water is absorbed

so armstrong bring hinm out for a fight and its mostly grapples aand throws

abe lincon wwf?! He IS Trump!

abe saez hes the big buck in this lick and dares em to face him but armstrong sez hold off and abe is one of them now

if this were the 80s, he';d be in a biker gang across the nuculkar wastelands

they ggetta drink of corn liquor and abe  drinks from the barrel as i guess hes jesse the body ventura

1 guy sez he lifts 500lbs and lincon dont drink as hes goit one more thing in common with The Donald

later hes splitting logs with a spike and hammer as his gf reads him a law book and lincon flirts with her and almost smoovches but his boss comers by and sez he's paid 40 cents a day to work,, not b0ne

oh its his uncle and lincon is splitting rails and needs to make more but can do it anbd hsi gf falls off the log pile on her a55

they asay if the other bit it theyd not wanna live and laugh it off

latwer lincon wants toi marry her and has 3 stores that went under liker Trump going bankrupt and recovering and she finds his face attractive as i guess she had an ugly fetish

no offense, but you gotta admit, he looked a bit devolved

so she agrees to marry him and the camera moves off and i think they b0-ned

so then theres a sad moment of her biting it and abe seeing her 1 last time

I saw the ep of In Search Of History about linconb and he had a sad life

kinda like Sir John A MacDonald of now soviet canada

so lincon is all f'd out over his gf biting it and they took his pocket knife in case he wants to seppuku

so hes kindfa spazzd out and hears singing and goes off to the grave and it looks like a good silent film and he hugs it

so i think he recovers and ttheres a wordless exchange ewith lincon on a big black horse like Raoh in Hokuto no Kem meetinga guy in a horce and cart

later marry todd is planning on marryuing steven a douglas, who might be relaterd to michael douglas, but not the fake one who's kirk douglas's son, the tim burton batman one who goes by michael keaton as the fake douglas stoole his name and the film actorsa guild wouldnt let real douyglas use it

so mary might want lincon ANd goes tio a dance with both there but dances with douyglas as lincon watches

but not like dbz p0ern0 where 18 is b0ned by a big gross guy like bacterian and krillinb watches

linxon comes in andf meets todd and she likes him as i guess he's got a stove pipe d0ng fropm being 9'6 or 6'9 or w/er

so he dances with her and later gets his stove pipe hat and hes marrying the maRY BUT IS FREAKED OUT BY HER AS SHE THINKS HE CAN BE PRESIDENT and he dont wanna let her a55 dowm

so lincon is late and nervous and still misses his 1st gf ann w/o an e

is this like robotech with lisa missing karl?

so hhes not there and they think he ran away and the weeding is f;d

then itsd 2 years later like pokemon black amnd white 02 and lincon coimes, wait, i think they were dating 2 years and recnsile

so then theres people with toarches and signs fopr douglas or lincon and gotta choose who goes to senate

at da debate, doglass dont wanna open the issue on slave owners rights as the supreme court settled the issue and decided for us

but lincon is antio slave owners rights and wont let the states suceseed as a house divided against itself falls

although to be fair, when Amerivca was founded, it wasa from 13 colonies breaking off from england and their empire

so isn't it ironic that lioncon went against the south wanting to do that?

like how people say that about America fighting the viet kong as both were rebellions

so i think lincon lost and later thinks he'd f;'d it all up bvuta guy namned mr fell comes in and wants him to be the Republican Camndidate for Prez

after john brown went on gee haad, the nations on edge and soviet new york wants to quit the union and lincon dont want that

lincon jr comes in and sez its dinner time AND takes a brerak for dinner to meet later.

So then the people are complaining that john brown took over an armory and gave guns to slaves, which is fitting as democrats wanna take guns from people

1 indentured servent threw away his gun and ran as he don'tt like freedom, like people who like all the gov and union limits, and told the people, kinda like flasgging things online you dont like

so the people are gonna get their guns to defend themselvers like  Mr Zimmerman or Mr Rittenhaus as they dont wanbna be murdered like with nat turner or o j simpson

John Wilkes Booth, A Democrat Actor, vows to cap any Abilitionist whoi ciomes in his town, Totally not like the Film Actors Gio.d members hatting on Trump and wabnting people blacklisted for not supporting the chopping up of the Unborn

then lincoon and wife move into a new place and shes b--chinbg about howe cr-ppy it is and how rert-rerd the servants are

then fort sumter is attacked and the staff wanna gie in top the confederates despite lincon as prez

oh hes prez now, i thought hisas woman writing president a lincon was a fun thing

lincon dont wanna relieve it and hopes it wont cuase a civil war but weait i think, yeah its form his officer saying dont do it, but lincon does it

then 4 30 am april 12 1861, the south fights the unioniites at fort sumter and UNlike Trumpm, Lincon started a war

so lincon needs 75 000 lvolunteers tom fight the americans ofd the south and signs something

so then we see soldiers marching and people cheering as they go to ice their felleow Americans, as the same happens in the south with Confederates

like lincon, i too like the Confederate Anthem Dixie, its a nice soung with goodf feels

so the people need a win and are bummed and lincon tells a story of a man making a boat to cross a river and got impatiuoant and drowned so he dont wanna rush into anything

like sonic 06 or cyberpunk 2077 not taking the time to finish the game right, but Sonic Mania DID and was GOOD!!

so people tleegraph and get orders and messages and some weanna tell the prez good news that they won

oh ands its the unions and if lincon captures richmond now they can end this war and lincxon will be the best president until 2017

he wants to have the telegra,m and show it to mrs lincon and wants to be called lincon instead of mr prez or lncin

to quote beast wars, they got it all sewed up, but megatrons gonna rip it wide open as lincon comes in and hears they got f'd

so the reserves and 5000 have gathered and the washington miught egt f'd by the south and the presidents men want him out but he chooses to stay and run things himself

kinda like George W ashington taking on the britmos or Trump taking on the commies and purvoes

so this soldfdoer is gonna be ecxecuted and lincon comes in and finds he was a desserter but linkon asks him about ity and the teen sez after trying to take a stone wall and and he saw his boyhood chum iced and had an autism attack and freaked out

lincon sez theres too much killing and sez The  Lord gave this guy timid legs and pardons him as its not his fault

like Trump and tiger king

so latyer the people are disgruntled by the slaughter all the way in soviet new york and candya55 new england and the people want him to let the south go

lincon is binmmed and lincon jr dont weanna go to bed as he wants to be with his daddy and as dads the prez, if he sez jr can stay up, moms overturned

is this like biden jr and his deviancy?

so lincon sez  jr is the only one who thinks he otta rule and sends him to bed

lincons men see it and lincon sez he feels for the country and wants peace that is kept by keeping the union together

so then we see slaves  working on as boat and pilling ropes and singing of weanting freedom like the canadians under adnya66 trudeau

so linxcon does the enamcipation proclamation which iss the gov taking away the right to own slaves in certain states, which is like with Trump helping Then Unborn, But there's more Unborn than indentured servants and EVERYone was Unborn at one point while most were not slaves, so Trump did it better

so later l9ncon hears thgeres 600 000 guys after him in the north and hundreds of thousdands ready to tryu to overthrow him, even from his home state of illinois, like how the commies wanted Trump out as they claimed he was bad or unfit, even though they lket backdoor biden get away with far worse

so he talks with his woman about how hes worried and cant sleep and she sez they had it bettter in springfield

she gets him his slippers and he thinks grant will win dfa war

spoiler; grant trtied to kick the jews out of the area as he feared theyd sell to the south and lincon stopped him

so lincon meets grant who smokes a lot and asks him to be the highest commant the prez can give and they hasnt had 1 since washington

lieutenant general grant is ordered to win the warand he sez he will do his best like kopmoe from eiken

lincon knows the Right Honorable Robvert E Lee is underestimated and he wants to clkunter with grant whos underused and he'd keep all the people against him from opposing grant

lincons woman comes in and dont like the smoke and leaves and he thinks of starting smoking

lincon wants to win the war to save the south like how bush went on all thoise wars or w/e

so latyer hes with general stanton who mgiht be maxfield and they need sheridan, maybe not kelly is on a mission that might f up grants eins

lincon has visions of ships with White sails when something gonna go goodf andf he has it now

so later these unionityes are having coffee and 1 hears cannonfire and looks like hitler a bit and they hsendsse it from the ground

they go to aid grant and i think it was sheridan and sheridans army is beat as sheridan was away

thinks look f;d and hes gonna ditch richmond and sheridans trops on horses race to the fight with a smoke coverered battlefield like Birth of a Nation and people running around

look he usaaed the same anghle as the klan riding in from that too of sheridan comming

so sheridan and friends come in and has the retreating army advance and wins the battle

lincon hears and how they caught many prisoners and hopes for more prisoners from now on

so people are riuding on horses and in night asnd i think its southerners and its The right Honorable Robert E Lee who is gonna surrender

Lee goes to bed and the Confederates catch a spy and have an order to execute him

marshall signes it and lee finds out and sez thhey cap spues to protect armies and the army is almost over so dont end him

why are they talking slow and standing therte?!~ the man is gonna be wacked!

so marshall goes off and lee breaks down on his bed

lincon ad grant are in a room and hard drinking grant sez the Confederate Americasn can only last a few days more and the evil general sherman is crushing em, which means hes torching their homes and looting their property

like the self hating whites in protests when a junkie bites it and they blame the Good guys

so linkon is glad to have the countrey back and 1 guy wants  all Confederate propertu confiscated and the dissenters executed like its china

but lincon dont want em robbed and executed for being like Geoerge Washington and is willing to let The Right Honorable Jefferson Davis escape

meanwhile, Democrat Actor John Wilkes Booth is p-ssed at Lincon for giving rights to those the left sees as sub human, messing with the courts, being against the press, and he fears he'd make himself an unelected tyrank king for life and continue the "damage" he's done forever

TOTALLY not like tyhe colbert show guy Soviet steve and the majority of the film actors guild

so he plans on wacking lincon and later lincon is at dinner and was reelected and keeps takionmg his feet outta shoes

lincon sez the prohibitionists called to whine about grants boozing so he sez if he knew what brand he drank, he'd give it to all his soldiiers

they plan on going on a world tour like rampage after the next 4 years

like a cop movie where he's got 2 days til retirement and and the he's going to go on a cruise with his wife after catching mendoza

and john wilkes booth is teaming up with guys to liquidate lincon loud and b0ne all his sisters as a harem and thinks about cassiuuous using a dagger in that play, i think julious caesar but guns are safer

on april 014 01865, lincon goes to se a playn and this is like in Birth Od Na Nation and gives a speech of forgivemness and good gov and healing

his woman is proud of him and johnny parks huis horse and goes uop tyhe stairs and sneaks around and from offscreen eventually caps lincon

totally not like the guy on the grassy gnoll, then jumps to the floor from the balcony and yelsls, sic semper tyranus and runs off

so lincons woman is f';d out and then we see a darkwoods in miniature and a log cabin then the lincon memoriall which might be a mniature but i;m not sure

they play Glory Glory Hallelujah and show a saintly glow behind the stature

the end

that was quite good and told a nice life story

showing how a regilar guy with an f'd up life made a difference

every lifre can matter if given a chance

you never know where it will lead

good acting and direction and writing

nice olde timewy style and nice lingering silent film style remnants

plus its public domain and can be seen by anyone as it wasn't renewed for copyright after around 20 years

it doesnt make the north or south look bad, but showws both sides doing what they did

Griffith does it again and tells History in a grande way

glad i saw this one, it holds up werll and shows things we the people were unaware up before

plus it has a LOT of rhyme with modern day things like the Unbornn and Trump

For Abraham Lincoln 2 I want it to be about the adventures of Joghn Wilkes Booth as he escapes the unionites and they ice the wrong guy and say its huim, then he goes on some mystic adventure through the war ruined south and makesd friends with various peopel and a sasquatch and they go around from town to town helping people oppressed by the unionites. Its also a 16 bit Jrpg like Legend of Wukong or Journety to the West on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and TG16 where yhuoum play as Jjjon Wilkes Booth and fight american cryptids and cannibals and unionites who eat people and bandits and wildf anaimals and the game boss is a thunderbird thats a long reptilial creature with leather wings and as crocodile head and daemon magic and instead of magic, Booth has gone Catholic and uses Rebuking to fight daemons.

The False Faces Review

 Note: I spell facely good

The False Faces

Thids is my reviewe on The False Faces from the distant future year to Yagyu Jubei of 1919 (90 yeasrs before  the 1st robotech war)

Its directed by Irvin Willat who did nothing i knew of

It stars Henry B. Walthall from Judith of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience/The Birth Of A ation/The Scarlet Letter/Wings(ah gay!!!)/Abraham Lincoln/The Devil-Doll, Lon Chaney from The Unholy Three (both versions)/West of Zanzibar/Laugh, Clown, Laugh/Mockery/The Unknown/Mr. Wu/The Blackbird//The Phantom of the Opera/The Monster/He Who Gets Slapped/The Hunchback of Notre Dame/The Shock/Oliver Twist/Flesh and Blood/The Ace of Hearts/The Penalty/The Wicked Darling/Outside The Law, Mary Anderson from Cheers for miss bishop/Gone with the Wind, and some 1800s guys i never heard of

I never saw this b4 but its based on a bok by Louis Joseph Vance

so after a few title cards and things its called the further adventures of the lone wolf

a quote sez no man is justified in surrendering when love and life are out and then the title

so its the western front with civilization fighting a blood crazed king and his wold hordes

oh its ww1 and while they are probably meaning the Kaiser, I think the king was worse with his daemon worship and dark occultism

or are those yugioh cards?

so spotlights look for survivors and on the soviet brittish front they are by a nbo mans land

in the pc game bio menace or w/e was a lebvel called no mans land that i recall

so this guy is crawling in the ground and avoids the spotlight finding him as the battle goes on and then some soldiers come out of the trench and rush

the crawling guy stops when the light is on him and biullets come by him and evantually he gets past the barb wire(nnot the pam anderson moviue) and mewdics are on the move

1 guy escapes the barb wire and ohhhhh i thinbk its a frenchie! and gets to the britys side and they're cockney!

he sez hes escaped from enemy trenches and they think bnes a derserter but he reveals hes American and has good info for the commander

the evolitionarily challenged brits bring him and the commander looks a lot ike joe stalin who recognisses his voice

crawler dont give his name yet and in a table place he sez he';;s michael; lanyard and not stalin recognizxers him as the lone wolf whos a theif who not stalin was chasing as a secret ser vive guy chasing him over europe

its revenaled a guy called elesrom or something, is still alive, but the words are cr-ppy film quality as this was made back when we had civil war surivors

the crawling guy whos the lone wolf reveals he was exiled to belguim and lived with his sister who raised her kid

ekstrom attacked with blonde german warriors in the war and ekstrom is lon chaney and was paret of the partisans in the underworld and had wolf taken off as he and huis menwent in the sisters place

he coems back to find her and her son iced and the house smoking and i think in the real version he b0ned em dead

this movie is racist against germans. although if they REALLY wanted to make em look bad, why not make em cannibals? at least there we got the brothers grimm and that guy who invited a butt buddy over for dinner

but i thinkl the Best German is Eric Carle who made The Very Hungry VCaterpillar and despiter a rpough time, stayed positive and pure

honorabl emntion to Uwe Boll as Postal is the 2nd funniest movie I've nseenb, with number 1 being The Human Centipede 03

so not wolf went after the lon chaney germanand joined the German Secret serv cie under a fake name and found lon shaney is going to America and needs not stalins hjelp[

so they go across the atlantic rimin a boat and try to avoid German Boats and wolf is under a fake name

this chick names cecelia brooke is there who he;'s probably gonna fall uin love with, a wounded liirtnenet of ww1 and mr crane of the u s sescret serive

lon is on board in disguise to get brit docs for america and 1 guy tries to get into a door or locker nimbere 27

2 boat guys plan to sound the subbmarine aleart and main guy the wolf is in his room and someones turning the knob slowly

he turns out the lights and gets hius firearm  but the boat guys sound the sub aleart and cvsall all passegnders on deck

in da chaos, the 27 door is open and it turns out the sub aleart was nothing there and the guys return to their rooms

wolf asks chick why she tried his door and she sez her door wasnt locked or bolted and one cant be too careful these days

she was in room 27 and he goes to his room number 29 but finds  her in the door conmnecting them and sez someone f'd her rooom and took a jewel box from her bag

he finds it and her jewels are there and the box was in wolfs room

he sez someone planted em to frame him as the theif didnt find what he wanted and they ahve a common foe

they decide to team up ike batamn and superman in the 90s superman cartoon the worlds finest 

so its the 4th day at sea and hessees her with wounded guy and then gets in a fight with a guy attacking her buyt the guy pulls a knife and after gettign nailed, therows it and runs off

it pins her dress to the wall and she sees the wounded guy is f'd and she dont wanna get a dr so they take him to his room and he stands guyard as she gets nbandids

evantually he goes out and sees her at the knife fight place getting something and he gets back b4 her and sez wounded guy needs a surgeon

she sez to wait and gives him a cigarette and sez if hes caught with it it might be his end and he accepts

she lets him out under darkness of turned off lights and tends to wounded guy and wolf in his room hides the smoke in i think a needle fort injecting heroin or cocainum

theres a fake suimmon to come to deck and he sez to tell the dr hes comming

a hgerman sub is near and as wolf goes to turn on the light, a germnan gets him at gunpoiunt and another covers hius eyes with a cloth

they want the cylinder and search his clothes but not his a55 as this is the 1910s and guys dont use a suitcase as prison lingo sez

they tie him up and check his cr-p and say he has 2 mins to tell where it is and he slips out of his bondage and slaps the guys gun and fiught him

the other guy gets the cylinder i thiunk and cap his partner as he weants all the reward and escapes but main guy chases across trhe boat

this is like sonic 2 with the flying base

so he catc hes the guy but is grabbed from behind by a 3rd man and beat out

then a sub is seen and the guy thgrows wolfd overboard and comes to the german sub and is helped by them

wait im not sure theyre german and wait, they say an american destroyer is coming and wolf sez hes in the kaisers secert service and is taken  onboard

at new englands coast he's still on the sub and i think this is where the 90s robotech return to macross comics got it from

they are by marthas vineyard and they say they are celebrating the sinking of the boat he was on and he claims to be a dr and hsi papers are on thr ship

he claims to have let off a flare ion the boat and the captain sez if he is lying hes ice

1 shipman is a prussian and is hated by the bavarian captain and sez wolf cant leave the boat

he looks around when other saare out and finds 5000 US Dollaers and later prussian comes in and has a drink

prussian sez captain is hauinted by those he iced in the war and is the one who fired the torpedo on the lusitania

although i hear the brits had a hand in it as they wanted america to save them from the germans

so captain drinks and sees hallusinations of those he iced in the wearand we see them out the window in water and rotted and ghosts in front of him

he fires his gun at one and a living guy behind the door falls and has a note saying something about lon chaney and wolfs cove name but its in cr-ppy handwriting

he races back and finds prussian drinking with wolf and sez to report for beign friends with the endmy and prussian cant take captains sh-t and caps him

what is he? Starscream?!

so he sez somethign i cant read as the video quailty is a55 and has a drinkand goes off all f'd out

wolf checks trhge body and finds the note and he realizes that its ln chany as the guy on the boat who gave the signal in disguise

prussiann comes back and says something ic ant read and has another drink andf spazzes out and bites it from his heart giving out from the stress and booze

alcohol kills more than aids, so iuf yoiu wanna live, yoiu  better get the aids

so he gets out ioof da boat wthrough a door in the floor and takes a row boat out and the sub sinks and i think takes its crew with it

then its socviet new york and wopunded guy and chcik are alive somehow and think the cylinder is sunk and wolf goes to his lair in new sodom new york

in the lons lair in a hotel he does stuiff and in wolfs lair he reads the paper saying the sunk ship had surviuvors znd chick was one of em

he calls her hgotel and wtrityes something and wait its the receptionist or operator writing something

lon has the cylinder and hides it in a smoke and puts on a big hat and goes out

at the brits secret serv ic e place in new york, wait, why?! this isnt soviet england! its America!@ We kicked their candya55 in 1776! what next?  a Japan base in pearl harbor?!

so wolf gores there and so does lon and wolf is told to coem back at 9 am to see the coloniel

hes sent out and realizes that someone is impersonating him and sneaks aroudn and loos in awindow

yes cuz the sec ret ser vine has windows in meeting rooms anyone can peek in

in the troom is a painbting of what looks like a daemon faced man with a big toothed open mouth and half the face shadoweed over

or maybe its cr-ppy picture qulity as this was out in ww1

so he sees the lon meeting the guy and llon is given the combo to the safe and is told to see da colonel at 12 pm no am and goes off

wolf was in the room by the curtains as there sno secutiry in brittishness and has a taxi follow lons tai

it  rams another car andnis stopped for a bit but goes on and i think he makes it to the pplace lon was

at a meeting lon talkk with guy s about how the wolf got the paper and sank with the paper and 1 sez the wolf might still live

lon almost smokes but stops and sez he'd do anything to find the cylinder

main guy the wolfd is lurking aorund and lon goes out and the colonel is told that the wolf will meet him at 12 

wolf gets past the giuards and hides in the curtains as the prits are cr-p at secutiry and lon meets the colonel and shows his passports from wolf

lon gives the cylinder and wants 10 000 $ as a reward or he'd sell it to the germans

you know they can wack you and say "it was for the regent" for hiunting you can give it to the Kaiser

they pay him and he goes and colonel dont trust hima nd goes 

butler checks the safe and gets something and goes and main guy wolf goes in da safe and is tempted to take the jewels but only takes the cylinder

he puts the other cr-p backj and lon comes ina d checks the safe and when a guard comes in, lon capps him

wolf catches lon and lon reognizes him and long slugs hinm outand runs but llon gets away too

wolf returns to his hotel and chick comes by to see him but is told to wait in his apartment

lon and gang are in there and captuyre her and tie up his swervant and leave and when wolf gets backm hes told by servant what happened

so at lns lai they driink and tie up the chick as main guy claimbs a craine and swings across on a rope to the building to get past secrutity

he sneaks aorund and as long is gonna b0ne the chick, wolf gets her i mean him at gunpojnt and takes his guns i think

instead of gibing him 2 in the head, olf fights hima s lon sez he's not arfaid of an unarmed man, and they beat on each otherfor a while and throw items as chick watches and probably finds it hot like normal guys and cat fights

she gets a gun ad lon is beat out and lons droogs hear theviolence and come to da door and start chopping it with an axe

wolf blackens lons face witn fireplace soot and soaks lon with water to wake him upp 

as he gets up, his men see him standing there with a gun and shred him with bullets and wolf and chcik escape as the goonss atre looiong at lon

they escape to the brit base and reveal the truth and send the brits in to attack the germans in there

in a taxi, wolf and chick ride in the back seat and she wants the culinder but he sez wait

he reveals lon throw him overboard and took it and he thinks theres something going on at colonels office

at the brit base they are photographin fingerprints and think chick did something

chick and wolf come in and sez lon sod him a cylinder that was stolen and lon was iced in the raid and wolf gives him the noney

he reveals the fountaiin pen had the cylinder and the butler was a spy and goes but 1st says bye to chcik who reveals her brother is the wounded guy

she knew the whole time he was the lone wolf and he seems to want to be her butt buddy

the end

Oh and the copyright thing on iit sez 1918,. so that explains the WW1 themes

I liked this, Lon shows good evil but isn't in much of it

good editing and filming and twists in the story

nice aCTING and wrioting

cool effects and style

i liked it and it holds up pretty welleven tthough it was made for a WW1 Audience

Fore False Faces 2 I want the germans to unleash a new style of armor that runs on magnets and draws bullets to armor plates so thwy ae invincible, but turns off whehn they wasmnna fire back. Also The Lone Wolf is sent to germany to get the plans for it, but finds by living amnong the Germans, that they are not the bad guys and are trying to stop the evil brits from crushing em for going againsat their lusty king, So The Long Wolf has to choose to do whats right or not, Also its an 8 bit Point And Click Game like thaT 8 Bit P_hantaASY sTar game but on Sega Master System, Game Gear,NES, Gamwe Boy,m TG16, Atari Jaguar I mean Lybnnx and 7800 and you go around talking to people to get the plans, but can choosde to side with england or Germany

Kit Carson Review

 Noye: I spell like Kuit from Tailspin and Kit from Ride but more human

Kit Carson

This is my review on it Carson from the distant future year (to jesse james) of 1940 (70 years before Japanese Transformers season 3)

Its directasl by George B. Seitz who did the 30s The Last of the Mohicans and a buncha andy hardy things

it styars Jon Hall from Mutiny on the Bounty, Lynn Bari from  The Great Zeigfeld, Dana Andrews from The Ox-Bow Incident /The North Star/Three Hours To Kill/The Twilight Zone, Harold Huber from 20,000 Years in Sing Sing/The Good Earth, Ward Bond from Noah's Ark/Affairs Of Celini/The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse/They Made Me a Criminal/Gone with the Wind/Son of Frankenstein/The Grappes Of Wrath/Santa Fe Trail/Sergeant York/The Maltese Falcon/Tall in the Saddle/t's a Wonderful Life/Hondo/The Searchers, Renie Riano froom The Picture of Dorian Gray, Clayton Moore from The Son of Monte Cristo/Black Dragons/The Lone Ranger, Raymond Hatton from The Cheat/The Ace of Hearts/the 200s The Hunchback of Notre Dame/the 30s Alice in Wonderland/In Cold Blood, C. Henry Gordon from Scarface, Stanley Andrews from Mr Smith Goes To Washington/The Son of Monte Cristo/The Ox-Bow Incident/It's a Wonderful Life/Samson and Delilah, Edwin Maxwell from All Quiet on the Western Front\Scarface/Tiger Shark/Duck Soup/The Great Ziegfeld\Mr. Deeds Goes to Town\The 30s A Star Is Bor, George Lynn from The Great Dictator\The North Star/The Snake Pit\The Day the Earth Stood Stil\The Lawless Breed, William Farnum from The 30s Count Of Monte Cristo/Cheers for Miss Bishop/Captain Kidd/Samson and Delilah, and a buncha 1900s guys i never heard of

its based on a historical figure who i think was into dark occultism

I never saw thia b4 but might have read the Classics Illustrated Comnic Dacades Ago

So after logo title and credits to 40s music, its in b/w and proper ful screen

then text sying in the 180s America was wilderness and guys like kit carson went there

then theres guys on horses with cowes going throuugh the wasteland and having caught beavers for furs

1 guy keeps wasnting to advance forward and never look back like the G Gundam thing

they come by indian horse tracks who went to the woods from the trail and 1 guy thinksd theres no indians here

the an indian uses a bow/arrow to j fk a guy and a swarm of em attack

he indians have guns and go off to swoop back in but the Americans use their rifles and a boomerang for some reason to takeem on

so the batttle goes onand 1 guy is gonna sneak out at night as the indians have thuinbgs about attacjking at night

kit i think gets a gun and ammo from the fallen and crawls back ,then they use ropes to drag the bodies back as i think they might eat em

Kit goes off on a horse with 2 horses that have the bodies he got tied to em as cover and the 2 surviivers stay back making yells

the indiansa chase kit and he rolls off a horse as it goes on with a body on it and snewaks off

clever girl

ahhhhhhhhhhhh

then its fort bridger and I think the 2 survivors sgot out as the indians attacked Kit

the captain might send a scouting party to look for kit as he sed he'd be back in the spring but wiill give him time

So then carspn kit and the 2 guys come in making yells and throw a boomerang as a joke but captain nearly caps em back to h e double soviet california b4 being happy to see em

kit is told theres people at the base who want him to bring em top candya55 california

kitr sez the indians iced his  group comming and kit shows captain the gun the indians had

they fought for 6 hours and and kid wants to refresh his a55 in the creek in a bath and rest.

soapp in a hotel in a bath with running water is 30$ a day but kit owes captain as no one pays as thats why it costs so much

so kit and his droogs take a bath togerther like its Japan and sing buffalo gals ands some army guys come in wanting kit to ber a cevilian scout for 100$ a month

they heading to candsya55 califoirnia and the guy i called captain actually isnt but is a homier of kitr and da real captain wants kit to guide women and kids through the dangerous area

kit dont think its good but captain is going w/ or w/o him and a homie of captain tries to guilt kit intoi it

also on the other side of te wall is the womens bath with chicks in it, bjt the water is jet black like its made of pepsi andwe don''t see her nips or the guys long thin parts

so captain goes off and da chix b--ch about kit not conxenting so kid slips the soap under the wall and goes to get it and the chicks scream

is this where anime gets it?

Its like Eiken but we don't see the K Cips

Also: Why is the wall over up to the water level? Anyone can go under it and b0ne da chix!

the chick in there is the kid of aa guy who owns half of california

desatroy it! before it devolves into new sodom!

so captain tells the people they are still going w/o kit and captaiin is nice to chick and talks about how kit is the best man for da job

so chicjk goes to see kit and hes got his naked feet out, which in some Bible talk, Feet refers to man parts, so in the real version his weener was hanging out and flopping around

she offers kit 1000$ in gold and expenses, and 200$ for his homies

he sez if he was offered 10 000 hes not do it and she goes off

so thgey're gonna fal in loe and have 500 babies right?

1 hoomie sez the indians will get her and kit isnt please and homie talks of how they got nothing to do 

so the wagon troop goes across the mad max waste land and kit and his droogs come by on hoirses a55es and he comes on as wagon boss

kit has em slow down and he goes on the head wagon and takes a guy thgeres place with the chick

captain comes back and talks with kit abbout indsians having guns and wanrts kit to come to the front but kit stays back with the chix

they go on across this vast area as indians watch in da distance and at night they cook food

kit offers chick some food but she has her own

i think captain aska general as i think i f;d up again, is into chick

so later its 8 pm and they eat wild antelope which i'm not sure if its kosher as i know jack sh-t about antelopuse

1 of kits homies has indian scalps as a jacket to scare off enemies and they say indiians cant go to indian heaven w/o a scalp

You know whast they say, when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

also he wants to have a rug of indiian scalps as he knew a guy who had it, but really its fake

btw, wearing human skin? what is this?? apocalypse zero?

at least we see it unlike silence ofd the lambs

so captain has a bugeler play a song to put his guys to sleep but kit sez it'll aleart the indians

like that meme people joked of

Last time on DBGT! Pan: "Grandpa Hercule! I wanna fight the Shadow Dragons, but I'm dummy thicc! And the clap of my huge  heavy buns keeps warning them I'm comming!"

so these mexiicans i think talk about how the travellers are getting near and they gave indians guns to keepo the Whites out

Which if the roles were reversed, would be called "racist"

so the mexicommander sends guys to stop the general from crossing the sea air ug nevada

he dont want americans coming to cxalifornia and if the captain or general or w/e can get througfh the land, then Americans can get there w/o months at sea

so the wAGIONS go on and a mexico dresses like an indian, which i;'mn not sure the beta males would whine about of not

he goesto talk with the indians as an indian and tells em to stop the americans as its goit kitr cARESON IN IT WHO'DS THEIUR ENEMNY

get f';d caps lockl, go crawl up a dead whal;es a55

so 1 of kits homies is writing some history thing and the horses spazz out a bit so kit and friends tend to em

the horses sensed indians which they say is smell but i think its Ki as once a dog on the other side of the fence was barking, so I cooled my Ki and it stopped

also once i was standing near my aunts dog, and had a negative thought of it, and it spazzed out

also chick's servent talks with chick about chick making kit shoes and other chick the servent sez this homie who's not mexican who has the indian skin has size 12 shoes

that means he's got big parts

captain sez kit and friends lives wild so long they are going wild and kit goes out to see indians talking then riding off

kity knows their talk and finds they plan to take the generals horses

also the tracks of 1 guy are not indian style as they walk different

this is some sherlock sholmes sh-t

so captain hits on chick and wants to marry her as he's into her in a clean way without b0ning

kit rand freiends trturn and he tells chick to go to bed but she dont wanna so he carrys her as he's strong and she's not one of those 800lb blobs on The Learning Channel

he puts her in the wagon and goes to check the horses and sees indians in plant disguises like they're ninja and heading for the horses

they jump out and openm fire but the Americans were ready and return fire and send em riunning like its G I Joe vs Cobra

the watchmen are iced and kit sez to not follow regulations to save lives but general or captian or w/e sez he has to and doubles sentries

kit and homies go to look at the non indfian tracks and finds em by the water

they follow em and find tracks that say he got on a horse with spanish shoes

so kit and friends make a trap and kit thinks its a White Man who gavce guns to the indians and they plan on using coyoite sounds to signal the guy to come

they do and he comes and is caught in the snare trap and hangs froom 1 foot

better slice off the leg with kung fu like falco in hokuto no ken 2

so they tie the mexico up and throw an axe at him but getting closer each time to get him to talk, then a knife thrown like castlevania

mexico homie takes a fire to him and it cuts away as i think they cooked off his parts and the american comes by and se him interrogating him

the americans, including the chick and captain hate on him for torturing the mexican and kit explains he has to fight fire with fire

having beeen in the 00s, i gotta sayy, some things keep coming back

mexican sez he was only following orders, as thats totally a goof excuse, although this was made in 1940 so the axis wasnt as known, and its revealed the mexico works for general castro

not the one from soviet cuba who thery say is trudeaus dad, although that castro never set off my gaydar like trudeau jr or sr

thats not a joke, they really did set it off

so he sez castro is afraid of americans and sent him to stop them from getting to soviet california and castro wanted to rule mexico and california

so like the cartels?

so general follows the law and that the penalrty for giving indians guns is execution

yeah torture is bad but ending him isnt?

after a firing squad, chick sez sorry for not getting how it was and judging kits ways

so the wagons go through the sea airt ah nevada high area and mexico leader general castro sends anotyher miunion like he's a sailor moon villian

later carson wants to take the long path as the hills are fill of indians but general sez his orders were to find tyhe fastest path so he can send an army when needed

captain splits off like piccolo and kami and sez his byes and sez to meet chick later

well, guess thats the end of him

also its to savwe 60 miles and the indians are watching from above

in Conan the Adventurer, its said; the easiest way is often a trap

so the indians send some of their men to attack the army guys and some after the wagon train

eventually the indians drop a rock using a lever whicj i;m not fiure they knew of that tech, and ttrap the army in the valley, then sniper at em like the grassy knoll

kit hears it and circles the wagons but sez to stay to protet the women and kids in the wagon

he sends a guy or 2 out to scout and the indians come up in the nearby plants

the scout finds the idnias but is caught b4 he can fire a shot to warn the others

he breaks free but is capped and kit ansd friends hear the shot and go for it

the indians atteck and its an epic battle of long sahots of the area and the horsemen swarming around towards the wagons

the wagoners fire on em and chick takes one out but feels bad about it as this is her 1st kill

some wagoners get arrowed and fire arrows are uised the people scramble to end the fire

meanwhiule, the captains forces are getting f'd and 1 guy foes to try to getta cross the river

he hides underwater which is SMART as after a few feet, bullets do nothing in water

kits guys are gettign f;d and kit sees he needs to reunite with captain to stand a chance and he and goes off with dino might in a wagon

he leaves his indian skin coat friend in charge andhe and chcik fire on the indians after kit

kit fires on the fire to light it and races the horses then unlinks the wagon and rides off so the wagon kamikazes into the rocks blocking em and frees the army

its like with piccoilo freeing kami against garlic jr

so the surviving soldiers race in to save the day and later theyhave a service for the fallen

captain feels bumming for not believing kit when he wanted to save 60 lives over 60 miles and dont feel up totelling kit that kit was right

chick feels bad for being mad at kit for torturing the bad guy and they have a tender soft moment and smooch and captain sees it

So then they make it to mentery califronia and have a dance and the chicksd dad is happy hisd kid made it and wANTS to be nice it kid

kit isnt used to it and isnt big on parties and dancing

the mexicos lead by castro sends a squad to attack the americans and he's gonna be the kibg of mewxico and include california

at da dance kit dont like it and don't fit in and captain comes by and he leaves chick and jim but bumps into a guy who spills his drink on a female

chick dances with captain and kit bumps into opther people and goon oot to sleep in the camp

his indian skin coat guy sez hews in love and kit sez he could bring her on his beaver trapping and it wouldsnt be right

skin wearer sez hje can bnecome a gentlemaN BUT kit sez its not worth it asnd to quit like hes ghonna do

hes gonna ditcxh the wagon guys and skin wearer is bummed as he's in love and at the dance, chick gets a letter from kit that explsained he went

which dont add up as kit cant rrasd/wqright

aptain askds her to marry hium as kits gone and she sez she loves kit but will be his woman

so kit and droogs ride on and see a mexico army wagons that are going to castro to take on America

they get off their horses like Raog vs Toki andsneask in, then take out the guar with a roick to the head

in there kit wakes up the mexico general with tekila in the mouth and takes him prisoner

hes ok being captured AScastro hates him and was gonna waste him and that castro is gonna attack the califrtonians

kit sends his droogs to bring the wahons to captain and he goes off to save America from mexicoes

so the mexicoes are raiding, looting and torching tne american homes andf buildingds like its  self hatoing whites when a junkie gets capped

kit aleartts the americans and they flee andkits droogs get theguns to captain and tells em ofcastros attack

after a montaGE of mexicans icing americansd, which is pretty common when americans go to visit them and get b0ned dead or chopped up and boiled in acid

so the americans cant use the mrxico flag as they'd be outl;AWS so they make it their own country and make a new flag as the soviet re[ublic of califormia

captain joins em even though he's a Ameroican soldier and has his men join even though it might f his career

kit arrioves and sez castro is comming tomnorrow and they raise the california flag

needs more perntagrams, hexagrams, swastikas and hammer/sickles

as they have 1 day left, they go to the time chamber to train foer a wjol;e year in 1 day

wait, thjats dbz and dbaf

so kitreunitewws wirth chick and she's bummed as she agreed to marry captain last night and kit is ok witrh it

its only bneen 1 day?! i thought thjis was ovdr a wqhile!

kit sez castro is gonna blitzkreig and wipe em out in 1 hit, but if they send the civiliasns out, and the main forces to the hills, they can have kit and a few behind and trick him into thibking all the Americans are there, then have the main forces swoop in from behind and nail em hard

if thjey get beat the fams will be ungurrded but if castro gets there, they'd be his butt slaves amyway

so they make abunch of jinzo ningen, or arruficial people to trick casytro and kit talks with captain over chick who actually loves kit and kit sez captain is a better match as he's a genrtlemAN

kit sez he's gonna go off after this and they say farewelles

so castro gets there and starts his invastion but kiot and friends hol;d em off with several guns lined up on the wall

chick is there and helps restopck guns but the mecicoers have cannons andare blowing holes in the bases a55

as the mrexicoes adnance., kit kighta a fse by some barrelsa and i thinbk the fudse goes ouyt so his skin wearer slugs out kit so he wont make it go and blows it himself with a guin at the gunpowder barrels

thats the sifnal andthe good guys come in and stop castro

remember in sonioc adventure 1 how robotnik sent a nuke to station square butit didnt blow, so he went to make it blow himslf right there?

thats what this is!!

genious 300IQ my a55!

So kit is gonna go and chick tries to stop him but hes going but captainn comes by saying the america is at war with castro and kit is given a letter to read

despite never learning to rerad or wright, it sez kit is now a coloniel and kiurt orders captain to march and kit makes out with chick

then kit and captain go off on a new adventure to stop mexico

the end

That was pretty good

well acted, told a good story, nice effectys, good characters

its something theuy'd screw up today by making it dark and bitter and hyper reaistic and disgruntleds

tghis ome was positive and had a good feel and holds interest and kit sounds like bing crosby

i liked this one and it holds uip welll

For Kit Carson 2 I want it to be about hisd war wirtthg the mexicans and they uncover som4e anxcient tech from before Noah's Flood but its too powerful andhard to control, so they are sealking it away, but thisa new guy steals it as he wants to win at any cxosat so kit goes off to stop him before he destroyes the state. Also its a 16 bit figntinbg game ON SEGHA GENESIS, SNES, TG16, GBA AND ATri jaguar where you play aS KIT in storey mode and fight guys in the area to get info, or in free mode you can play as any character, even the boss thats the guy with the tech that is overpowered but if you survive againsat him for 25 seconds, he blows apart.

Scaramouche Review

 Note: I spell better than queen

Scaramouche

This is my review on Scaramouche from the distant future year (To Christopher Columbus) of 1923 (120 years before Robotech Season 3)

Its directal by Rex Ingram who did The Prisoner of Zenda/The Conquering Power/The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

It stars Lloyd Ingraham from Intolerance, Alice Terry from The Prisoner of Zenda/The Conquering Power/The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Ramon Novarro from The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg/Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ/The Prisoner of Zenda/The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Lewis Stone from The Prisoner of Zenda/The Lost World/The Big House/The Mask of Fu Manchu/Queen Christina/Treasure Island/David Copperfield/Angels in the Outfield, William J. Humphrey froom The Unholy Three, George Siegmann fromn Ther Birth Of A Nation/The Avenging Conscience/Intoilerance/Oliver Twist/The Man Who Laughs/The King of Kings/The Red Mill, James Marcus from Oliver Twist/The Iron Horse/The Eagle/The Scarlet Letter/Sadie Thompson, John George from Outside The Law/The Prisoner Of Zenda/Don Juan, Rose Dione from The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse/West of Zanzibar/Freaks, Louise Carver from Seven Chances, Edward Connelly from The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse/The Conquering Power/Camille/The Prisoner of Zenda/The Unholy Three/The Torrent/Bardelys The Magnificent/The Show/The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg and some 1800s dudes I never heard of

Its baSEWD on a book by  Rafael Sabatini who did The Sea Hawk, Captain Blood

I saw this once abnnd I think I saw the 50-0s remake, but I prefer Silent fulms so imma do this

so after title and credits we get text saying in the rule of the frewnch regent king louis 16, wait, its after he f'd it up, wait, its after he lead it down the toileyt and pwople were running outta foodf and realy to revolt

like with the prez in 2021

in a wood valley is a little village like in Castlevania and this guy is iced for steraling from the marquis

andre comes over and he used to laugh at how crazy the world is

imagine him seeing the 21st century? he's go full joker!

phil is is close homie who wants to be a priest  back when the frnechies believed in The Lord before devolving into the marqwuis de sade

then the marquis comes and its not de sade but de la tour like grand tour in dbgt

theres a decree by the national assembly that sez the nobility can't oppress them, but i think like the magna carta, its more of a guide line

look how ma oh charles didn't have to pay an inheritance tax on his getting the queens sh-t?

kinda like how legally, druygs are not allowed and people still do em

so the marquis comes in and hears phil badmouthing him and after being a spaz for a bit, phil backhands him like the b--ch he is

i think they're  gon na del but its with blades instead of yugioh cards and swords instead of beyblades

but phil isn a man of perace and has no exp in swordmanship

the marquis hits on a 5kank and he and phil go to some place for a swordfight as the frenchies are too devolved for guns

the marquis cuts down phil easy and says phil was too eloquent to let  live

andy is mad and calls him out but the marquis doesnt ice him as andy looks at him like a bada55 and the candya55 marwquis poofs away

andy vows to take up phils torch and use the eloquence thre marquis feared to fight back

andy goes to his godfather and kisses him on the face as hes european and the godfathers neice aline has come by and is chatting with the marquis

andy wants justice vs the marquis for his evil but godfather sez he wants the marquis to marry his neice whoi i;;m opretty sure andy is gonna get

she went to versais 2 years ago and andy wants her and he wants to be the light in the darkness, the voice to all those who cry out, ally to good, nightmare tom french!

nbeice comes by and he storms off like a b--ch and godfather sez paris gave himn revolutionary cr-p

andy goes off to some town and its the center of the freedom movement like how in soviet canada the people stoiod up against the frenchie candya55

the kings lieutenent is a devolved looking guy with a huge nose and probnaly would have aids if around today and drinks from a small glass as i think it matches his parts

andy dgoes to see him and uses phils eloquence and moves the luitenent to tears by telling of the marquis's evil, but when he hears its the marquis he spazzes out at it

andy points out that the luientent is unjust and a gross sack of cr-p and the leuiennt wants him arrested for, h-ll if i know, but its soviet frence and they dont have real rights

so he beats out a guyard and escapes and i think a solfier is iced and the people start spazzing out

andy sez the king signed a degree sayting the nobles can't oppress them and they dont gotta put up with their sh-t

the luientent calls for the dragoons to bring back the andy dead or alive and andy is a lawyer like the hero who saved Michael Jackson who looks like kanz from gundam wing

as andy tells the people not to put up with cr-p, a guy snipewrs him, but he shrugs the bullet off  as people were tougher in the past and evolution is fake as if it were real, we'dc be imprioving each generation

the dragoons come out and chop up the people and main guy gets to his horse but chapelier sez he likes his courage and gives him something

i like you, you have b-lls, i like b-lls

so he drives off in his mustang and back in the village, is i think the godfather or marquis and the neice who is playing piano

she hears something and goes to get the musiche wants her to play and she finds andy whohas a bullet hole in his head

ewhat is he? rasputin?

so its marquis and he finds the msuic she left to get and andy wasnt to ice the marquis

the dragoons come and she sends him through a hidden passage to escape and she fakes him not being there

the dragoons have a warrent from ther king for andy and i;'m not sure what his actual crime is as he only joked about the devolved guy

but in soviuet england, they charged a comedian for having his dog raise its paw as a nazi thing for a joke, so those eurotrah live in h-ll

so the next day, andy is out and sees a frenchie attacking a chick and her man and interveines

but it turns out its a play and i think theyy're gypsies

is he gonna use their black powers to devolve the frenchies into whiny, b--chy, malcontent, unhealkthy, uncivilized, unfriendly, unmanly, unbalanced sissies?

that would explain french canada

so the dragooons coem to remove them from the marquis lands but andy talks to em, but they say they are looking for andy

he sends them off and the gypsies welcome him to their clan and want him to wuite plays for em under the name of mister x like streets of rage and mega man and the simpsons and maybe beyblade

hes introduced to the head guys daughter and months later theres still no word of andy in the village

in paris ibn the blue boar inn the gypsies who might only be actors, have become a big hit and are populkar l;ike bon jovi in the 80s

andy still goes mby mr x and is loved by the actors

later thety do da platy figaro scaramouche and its in a big hall like phasntom of the opera and is for the countess

the marquis is there ansd hes got a teardrop tattoo or mole or something on his face and he meets neice whos with the coluntess

in the playt is a guy with a masak with a long nose like a tengu or dr parnassus and its exaggerated movement to put on a show

after da play tengu is revealed to be andy and he and neice see each other

later daughter comes by andys room and i think tries to seduce him

tthey makke out and her dad the head axtor comes in b4 they b0ne

later i think neice comes by andhe tries to get her not to marry marquis but she wants to be high rank and would sell her butt virginitry for power

also she thinks low of the actors as the royals see themselfs as superior to real peopler

andy is gonna marry the daughter as she isnt a stuick up b--ch and i think this is where avril lavione got sk8r boi

sso counttess's hgusband wanted help from austria for king lewis 16

at an ekite party, they rich are eatching snacks and talking of neice gonna marry mnarquis, but in the real version, were probably ritual sacrigiciung a slum kid and feeding on his parts

so daughter went outfor a dtyive and countess and nweuiice go by and daughter is dropped off by marquis as i think he was b0ning her

these lusty frenchies! they're like italianoes but not as loyal or evolved

so andy has a small gun as it matches his french parts and he sees her jewel ring and he sees these actorsa are devolved in morals and lustry monkeys who b0ne whoever they want

its like the kardashians

so neice wants to never see marquis again as she saw him with thew dauighter and he loves her and black males the countess to help get hewr back

at a wine shoip, andy meets chappiler who wants hgim to be leader of the national assermbly but he wants to fight with more than words

his speech in the area he got capped got the people ready to rip and later he does the platy in his tengu mask and sees the marquis in the box seat

he takes off his mask andgives a speech that tells of maRQUIS DE SODOMY WASTING HIS HOMIE PJHIL ANBD OUTS the marquis as trhe killer like its clin tin

tthe people go nuts and andy sees the head of the acrtors gonna attack some chivck, i think his gf the daughter, and he caps him with his small gun, then goes all emo and isa takebn offy his play homie

lter the national assembly devolved into the niobles hating on the people wanting equality

In America, its WE The People, in fraNCE, AND ENGLAND, ITS: we who are subserviant to the regent

chap has becomethe head of the natrional assembly and george jack danton was the best speaker of his era

as the nobles can't use words like real peoplwe, threy turn to violence as they are unvcivilized and neeed an evema of ground up evolution pills

the marquis i think comes by and the elites iced the common peoiple who sspoke against em

so its like tODay, BUT THEY USED DUEKLS TO DO IT instead of having em wacked like the queen and diana and charlers other chix

so geoege gets andy as hes good with a blade and wants him to beat the mnarquis in a duel

SZO AFTER THE ASSEMBLY THE, f off caps lock, go dfie in a d0ng fulled aids bag, anywaYY, ANDY f's with a noble and throws it tio the ground and is challenged to a diel by da church

the next day andy comes in having iced the noble back to h e double french canada aND THE AREA CHEERS

ALSO HIS name is moreau like commie junkie kirbyu morrow and the island guy who mutated animals and he goes on a spree icing nobles in duels as hes that good w/o any oinscreen showing of his sklill beforehand

the papers say hes secretly a swordsmaster and iced 1 and wounded 4 nobles and trys tio make it look bad

even though the nobles were too high level to have the regulars have a chanmce

the countess offers andy help from her austrian husaband and he sesz no

then she sez she knew his mom and leaves

marquis wants neice back but she wants to be friends and the paper sez andy is a swordsmaster

marquis wnts him iced and is gonna face ghim monday by the church

killing by a church? have frenchies no souls??

if they had souls they wouldnt be french

thinking andy's f'd if he faces marquis, neice offers to be his woman if he dont fight but mRQUIS  dont care

godfather sends a letter saying dont duel but andy rips it uyo

neice comes by and begs andy not to toi duekl ND THEY ALMOST SMOOCH  but he thinks shes trying to save the mnaRQUIS

die caps lock, buirn in h-=ll with mandella and the queen

she sez its him she loves but he dont buy it and goes to duel

so countess and neice are gradually going to stop thge duel but its alreadyu happening

is this birth of a nation with the klan riding in to save the day?

so andy has the blade at marquis heart and sez now u feel nowe phil felt, then lets hguimn fight on, only to cut his arm

the door is locked as they gotta keep the french animals from defiling the Churchyard and the chicks can't get in

so andy dont finish him and lets him go off like goku and freeza or piccolo and vegeta and when he walks out,m newice sees him and thinks he iced andy

andy goes off on a church mission or something and the frenchies grow more revolting in several ways

on august 10 1792 the people goo on a rampage andhave some kjinda race ruot like when some homie gets capped while trying to kill someone

godfather sez in a letter to get outta there to nweice and countess and the protersters swarj the streets and its like a sea of alleged people

boy goeoge has lead a malcontent uprising and the national assembly has promised safety to the royals

the countess and newice get to a gate but arenty aLLOWweerc to leavelike its run by candya55 trudeau

later 1 guy cl;imbing a wall is capped by a frtenchie and theres battles witrh cannons and gunfire

btwe, seeing how savage and violent the frenchies are, it kinbda proves the nobles right to have kept em dpown

look how wild and violent they are when given the chance to reveal their true colors

also 1 guy there is the italian stallian;napolean bonapart!

as he was noty a frenchie, he had skill and coolness and smarts

in the villagw the survivors escape who got out b4 passports were needed

andy comes by a bar and finbds godfather and they eventually hug

i think marquis survives by playing possum and takes a cloak from an iced frenchie

the frenchies are arresting peopler for going against em and georgew sends andy a note sayiong he can do w/e he wants

godfather wants andy to save neice and countess but he dont care for nweice as she sided wirth marquis

godfather revbeals that countess is andys mom and hes a royal too but fought his oen kind

like goku fioghting the saiyans

so godfather never knew who the countess's baby daddy was as io guess the frenchies b0ne so much they can't keep track of who was in who

this is how aids spreads

so the frenchies have devolcved like the Israelites when Moses came down with the 10 Commandments

so marquis comes in to the room neice and copuntess are in and hes all f'd up

andy comes by the gate and ordewrs a fresh horse to b0ne i mean ride

marquis goes upstairs and andy come in and smooches neice and revbea;ls he knows the countess is his mom

they reunite and he reveals his letter and marquis come by and andy wants him out

marquis wants yjr passdporets andf andy is gonnma shank him but counterss reveals marquis is his dad

star wars ripped it off!

she sez revealing it would disgrace the family amd marquis wants to have peace

andy shakes his hand and thjey agree to bring him ands andy gives him a sword

wait, his dad was trying to b0ne his gf?

is this where springer got it??

so marquis goes off to fight and die and runs into the mob with his blade, only to be instantlyt swartmeds and probably eaten alive liker Suddenly Last Summer

andy anmd the chiox get to the gate and  while showeinh his papers, some lusty drunk frenchies try b0ning his women

hebeats em off and reveals hes morrow andy and they want to butt hamer the chicks as they are aristocrats

he reveals its his sister i mean mother and future wife

the frenchies let him through as hes famous like how roman polanskli bummed that teen and is their hero there

andy smooches the girl and they ridfe off on a new advbenture as the city goes to h-ll with manmy inncent pewople executed for the "crimne" of hjavingf money

its veneazzuala or burnie sanders dream comre true

the end

That was quite good

I fdiorgot the plot twists in this as I hasn't seen it in years

good editing and camera wiork

well done acting and style

well writteb story and good themnes that still ring true today

good characters and feels

nice action and drama

It holds up

And many things have ripped it off from Star wars to Springer

For Scaramouche 2 I want for it to be 20 years later and frnce has devolved into a burned out wasteland that has beenb cut off from the rest of europe, Andy's  daughter who's blonde and milky White goes back to france as she doesn't believe its as bad as she's told and wants to see for herself, in there, the people have devolved intp savages who eat anuyone who comes in and sodomize the body while eating it, seeing the error of her ways, she tries to escape, but the lusty frenchies coe after her, so she has to fiught them off, also she's a female boidybuilder as french women are more masculine and its revealed when the frenchies attack and her dress rips off, revealing a leather SM‪ like outfit, as shge IS french, now she has to chop her way through the lusty frenchies with a big metal blade and get to the one gate that lets people in or out. Also its a 128 bit hack and slash game on Dreamcast, GameCube, Xbox and ps2 where you play as her and fight the increasingly ape like frenchies

The Violent Men Review

 Note: nI Spell like Violence Jacjk

The Vio;ent Men

This is my review on The Violent Men from the distaNT FUTURE YEAR (tO pAUL rEVERE) OF 1955(50 YEARS BEFORE THE tRANSFORMEWRS mOVIE)

its diurectal by Rudolph Mate who diud nothing I've seen

It stars Glenn Ford from the 70s Superman, da 60s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Blackboard Jungle, Barbara Stanwyck friom Double Indemnity/the 30s Annie Oakley, Edward G. Robinson from The Hatchet Man/The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse/Double Indemnity/Scarlet  Street/Krey Largo/The Ten Commandments/Soylent Green, Brian Keith from The Wind and the Lion/Ther 90s Spiderman/Touched By An Angel/Duckman, Warner Anderson from Santa Fe/Blackboard Jungle, Basil Ruysdael from Blackboard Jungler, Richard Jaeckel from The Dirty Dozen/The Green Slime/Chisum/Airplane II: The Sequel, Jack Kelly from Cult of the Cobra/Forbidden Planet/ the 60sd Batman/the 70s The Incredible Hulk, Willis Bouchey from How the West Was Won/Panic in Year Zero!/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/The 50ss A Star Is Born/THEM!From Here to Eternity, Harry Shannon from Touch of Evil/Rails Into Laramie/The Jackie Robinson Story/Citizen Kane, and some guys from the 30s i never heard of

I never saw this but its based on a book by Donald Hamilton that i never heard of nor read

So its in widescreen and nice color  and creewdits that scroll up, then fade on and off as guys ride forses across the wastelands

then theyre in a town and wait its 1 guy hes sherrif

the riuders come in and nearly run over sherrif abnd get offf, only to watch him walk off

1 rider talks to a mnercichivck about a guy coming in she wants tyo see'

sherrif goes in for a check up and dr tALKS OF HIM BEING ON A HONEYMOON SOON

he survived a confederate bullet through him sanddr talks of the  lust for land driving guys to twist others into selling their land

hes got good health and is going off in the east to marry a girl and is gonna sell his ranch  as he don;'t wanna ranch forever and dont fit in and was there to recover health

after going out, the riders beat up a guy for aying wilkerson sytole his land as he got a cr=ppy price for it and wait, sherrif and non rqancher are 2 different guys

sherruuf takes a gun from the riders and as he walks off, is shot in da back

the deputee comes by and asks "who saw wghat happened" and everuyones afraid to tallk

is thiis where hokuto no ken got it from?

so the guys et away with it anbd main guy is disagruntlerd by it and wants to do something

he notices something is up about small ranchers beuing forced out and a new gunman joining the bad guys and south ranchers starting to get it

thery suspect wilkerson of something and main guy don't wanna sell to him even though hes the only guy who can afford a fair price

is this a thing on disney?

So main guy goes off and hus gf comes by and they have a bit of romance talk and smooch

in the real versuiion they were b0ning

shes worried he might get iced if he satays and ays to fold and sell out to wilkerson as she  d0nt want him executed

this other guy tries to get  her to be his woman butshe dont consent and storms off

Is this like inHokuto No Ken with Shin and Yuria/Julia?

later main guy gets some guys together to tell em hes moving and selling and  oh its his workers, and hes selling to wilkerson

he tells em not to try anything stoopid and get iced and he'ss not the number one blader i mean rancher but no one got hurt under him

2 guys come by and say they dont want him to sell to wilkerson and they helped him when he came here wounded from war

1 irish sez wilkerson had his son beat dead and he will fight til he ort wilkerson are in h e douyble soviet canada

main guy dion't carry a gun and then we see him riding around the hills and back to his cattle

theres anchor logos for anchorige the wilkonsen company   and it looks like the hammer and sickle the commies and hollywood like

main guy goes to anchor place and talks with blonde chick who is mocking of him being different

shes wilkonsens daughter and has a bit of nice to him annd is probably gopnna marry and b0ne him

he goes in and chats with wiklerson mom and crippled edward g robinsion and his son come downn

edward gein robinson is wilkerson and they argie about how wilkerson had guys iced but he denies it

main guy sez he wants a fair price and might stay son suggests main guys men might need to fight

ed wilkerson goes on abouit how he worked hard and everyones against him

12 years ago he was in a gunfight abd got crippled and  now needs crutches and wants main guy to sell it to him for 15 000

its not enough fior a down payment and they say its a good price to keep from fighting and main guy leaves

b4 he goes he jamns his finger in wilkersions eye and pulls it out, beefgore aying "the other one is next if you try that again" then eats it

jk really wife sez he shouldnt ask so low butwilkoreson sez its part of his strategy

daughter isnt doing happy as shes got no friends and her place s=--cked so mom wants to send her to finishing school

imagine if the chick from titanic was thee aand comparedv it to slavery?

wife talks with son about where he was and thinks hes with the mexicxo and dont like it as shes racist as itys the 1800s and everyones racist insatead of today when pretending they aint

wait then thety make out? i thought that was the mom and hes the son

she hates wolkerson for bwing a c=ck sucker and likes this guy whos called cole like the wqilsdforce ranger and i guess notr her son

oh hes who mexico wanted t see b4

blonde sees soimething in the window AND COMES in and mom comes down talklimng of her behavipr but blonde knows wife is cheeting on her husband

i heard my dads say cole is wilkersons brother

main guy talks wirh a guy i think deputee about how hes gonna complsin but will take the 15000 offer and dont wanna fight

a guy rides in saying anchor riderts ate heading for a guys property

we see the ridfders whip a guy working for maIN GUY after saying thisd is anchor turf and as he rins, they rope and drag hium, then tie him up and cap him

in the real version they preobablky had him drawn and quartered

they b00k it as the main guy and friends arrive and capped guy tells em this was to make main guy make uphis miond, then bites it after saying the name of the guy who iced him

were like an hour in with adds, that felt like nothing

so main guy and his chums tell thje authorities and the head sherrif sez ther killers homies say the killer was at the bar all day and they dpont got the evidence to convict and infers they got no chance to convixct as they domnt like strangers ort gaijin

alsoof someone tries to lynch the killer, they'd arrest em, and the men wanna run in for revenge but main guy sez, its a trap and they wanna get em iced legally, so if they want revenge, plan and choose a better battlefield

main guy goesd out and his men follow and sherrif goes inso main giuy goews backand in da baras a guy has a gun on him

he asksd where killer is and talks to him and gunman pulls off

they have a drinbk which both Gokub and Power Rangers say noand he has a 2nd against drs oerders as killer makes him

he tyells killer about his men wantyng revenge and asks him to stand triakl, sdo killer pullsa gunand firtes but main guy catches his arm and avoids it, then caps killer witjh his right hand

both hands working to ice people by surprise? Is this where death note got it?

da next dae main guy comes to anchorranch and talks with blonbde and givres killers gun to wilkerson and tells him his hired gun is iced

also hes not going to sell and will stand and fight buty would prefwer peace but if pushed, wilkonsaon will regret it

wilkerson sez tio da cole he sed to not ice anyoner and cole sez they needed to and wife sez she brouyyght cole back for a rteason anddid it so wilkerson would have peace

wilkerson sez to get main guy outta a valley aND MAIN GUY GOES HOME AND FINDS HIS WOMAN NOT PLEASED HE DISDNT KEEP HIS PROMICE not to fight

f off capsd lock, you canbdy a55 aids spill

the dad of the guy who got capped comes by andmain guy gies him the gun capped guy and but dad lets main guy keep it but if he needs fighters, he has a few sons left

gfg dumps him and runs out as shes not played by a big star and only starts go with stars in tyhese filmes

so main guy goes to a rocky area like in Power Rangers and the film is tinted toi look like its not bright daylight and he's split his men and not on his base rabnch

the ridders run aroubd da ranche on horsesand torch it and as mmain guy knew they'd burn it, he plans to take em on as they go off claimng they were nmight riders

eventually the riders ciomeby the star treck rocky area and through the canyon annd waooh theres a lotta guys

they go by the 21st grouo and the 2bnd group caps em as they get close and the survivors run but are cappped as they run back where they came

the few survivors gewt back andwilkerson is amazed mAIN GUY  sacrificed his farm to ice the guys

although wood can be rebuilt but those guys are burning with elizabeth 01 in dantes inferno for their evil

mom suggests getting back cole and blonde tells mom off fior b0ning her uncle and dad yells at her when she almost tells wilkersonhis wife is b0ning his brother

today on springer

blonde storms off and ed gein robinson thinks things are getting f'd like whern he forced his way in years ago

wife tells him to not give up and twists him into doing w/e he must to get the valley for her

so blonde rides off as i figured she'd get with main guy as shes a big actress and clashed woith main guy so they'd fall in love and have 400 babies

she meets main guy in the rocky hills and offers to pay him a fair price for his land

then how her dad wilkerson is some bittle cripple like bruce in batyyman beyond and its cole who ordered it

also she wants to prevent the killing form coming back and has ptsd of her dads machine gunned legs getting bullets dug outta em

cole is gonna skip town as he thinks wiklerson is gonna send him off and doesnt care for wifer as she chose wilkerson as he had a ranche

he sez "if u li=ove me prove it! ditch ur fam and come to dallas with me" but ashe is hestiant and cole goes off to be with ythe gf who diteched main guy

so the riders start a stampede and its still night but really day and tinted and wife returns to wilkerson and a guy sez main guy started a stamnpede as i guess i mislooked

so as the horses and cattle spaszz out, main guys men go to wilkersons place and torch it, as what goes around comes around

a f==kin burning cart busts in the house and as wilkerson and wife try to escape he drops hi crutches and she thtows em in the fire to end him

what a b--ch, hiome those mexicans b0ne her dead

so wilkerson crawels out like lon chaney on west of zanzibar and wife drives off in a cart as da ranch burns

cole is with his mexico gf and wifdre comes in saying wilkersons in h e double soviet california but wopnt say she ended him

blonde comes home and finds it bruend and finds wilkenson crawling like the wom he is and she goes to him

she takes a knife and cuts open his chirt, then begins cutting letters into him to use pagan magic to heal him

jk really she gives him water and he lies about wife not being there but she dont buy it

she offers to bring him to get help but he sez no cuz wife with with cole there

i like how the main bad guy is a woman, kinda like robotech ii the sentinels had edwards being the main bad guy but was wioth the group from the start

you dont expect it

also this is like 96 mins but on git they add nearly an hour of adds

so wife and cole try to get sherrif to take out the main guy and his chums but she lies about being a witness and its hard to talk of, so sherrif sez he'd string em up

she sez the territory will be a state and offers him a power for helping her

is this where the room got it from? the evil blonde who manipulates?

so sherrif gets the people to seputize against main guy for icing wilkerson and pays em 100 $ to ice anyone against the gov and wife offers 1000$ for the guy who brings in main guy

mexico gf triues to stop cole but cole shoves her down head 1t and weife watches and smiles

mexico gf comes to beg for letting her have cole as she loves him and wife offers her money to go away

mnexico wont be bought and walks off and the deputized guys go around toreching places in effort to stop anyone the gov sez is against em

kinda like how clin tin did da tow wurs so they couyld go after hussein and his gold thing

blonde and wilkersopn is caught in a room by main guy as captives but wilkerson sez cole and wife want him iced too

the deputees are comming and iced guys dad wants to fight for his land but main guys ez he needs him and his men and dont want em iced fighting

so cole is torching the valley with his deptuees and capping any one there as no survivors means no witnesses and the main guys dudes spread woth to get out

wife returns to anbchorage and she sez they are gonna ice anyone against em and have the area to themselves

later main guyis gonna stand and fight and bblonde wants em to not fight or kill as shes a woman who doesnt get that if u dont stand up you;ll be an indentured servant

after b--ching out she crys and hugs dad and they decide to go after cole with main guy

they ride in to town and wilkenson is alive and crippled and sherrif sez he was told main guy iced him

wilkerson tells em no more klilling like hercule and buu and get off my land as its anchoridge

main guy goes to face the cole and they fire on each other and cole goes back to h e doubel england

wife sees wiknelson and runs as she didnt enxpect him to be alive

wilkenson sez; i couldnt sleep in h-ll while you rome the living, them grabs her and pulls her underground as they scream/laugh

jk really she runs and mexico chick caps her and runs off

so later wilkenson hires main guuy as his head buy and main guy goes with blonde as she's the bigger star and his past gf wasdsnt

they riide off and we get a pan across a grassland with these  2 word  on it like a 50s movie

the end

that was pretty good

i knoew they wouldnt have a guy end the wife as its "offensaife" for guys to give it to chicks

no matter hoiw much they deserve it

good acting and style and filming and music

nice action and good writing

its got good twists where the guy we were told was the bad guy wasn't so bad and the woman was evil

it wasnt as violent as the title would imply but i thoguht it holds up well

it has good pacing and flow and dont drag and it goes by at a good pace

nice twists and a bit of darkness pplus the main guy was a winnwer who's cool and smart

For The Violent Men 2 I want it to follow the mexican chick who capped the  wife in the 1st movie to be on the run and find a dimensional rift in the deserty that leads her to a realm of faeries and yokai and she has to escape b4 they notice shes there. Also its a 32/64 bit 2D game on Sega Saturn, N64 and Platystation where you use traps and items and gears and levers and things like that Doug TenNapel game with the ClayMation

Rails Into Laramie Review

 Note: I spell trains style

Rails into Lasramie

This is my review on Rails Into Laramie from the distant fiture year (To Ben Franklin) of 1954 (30 years before Transformersa G1)

Its directed by Jesse Hibbs who did Ride Clear of Diablo

It stars John Payne from Miracle on 34th Street, Mari Blanchard ffrom Destry/McLintock!, Dan Duryea from Scarlet Street/Ride Clear of Diablo/The Twilight Zone, Barton MacLane from Thje Walking Dead/the 40s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde/The 440s The Maltese Falcon, Ralph Dumke from Invasion of the Body Snatchers/The War of the Worlds, Harry Shannon from Citizen Kane/The Jackie Robinson Story/Thouch Of Evil, James Griffith ffrom Ride Clear of Diablo/The Night of the Hunter/The First Texan/Bullwhip/Spartacus/How the West Was Won/the 60s Batman, Lee Van Cleef from Escape from New York/The Good, the Bad and the Ugly/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/How the West Was Won/Joe Dakota/The Lawless Breed, Myron Healey from The Firth Texan/The Shakiest Gun in the West, George Chandler from the 30s A Star is Born/the 30s Valley of the Giants/the 30s Jesse James/ Boy Slaves/Mr. Smith Goes to Washington/The Ox-Bow Incident, Douglas Kennedy from Liffe With Father/Adventures of Don Juan/The Lone Gun, and some 1900s guys not on wiuipedra or I never saw in anything

I never saw this b4 but imdb says its 6.1 outta 10

So after tiotle and credits of yellow text onm bliue bg to a song, its in proper fukllscxreen ands collored

In the disatant future year of 1869 and in cheyanne in soviet wyoming

in a cASINO Or w/e a soldier plays a shellbame and exposes its crooked and the casino head wants him out

he sez no and a fight breaks out fastyer than a hocvkey game or soccer game  and hes thjrown through da window

his men tell him da general wants to see him sand he sez he had 30 ays off

they slug him out and bring him in to meet da gen

there he sez he has a few months left andis offered to become a aptain by going to laramie to help restore order to help da railreoad

he's sent as he knows gamblers and 5kanks and he refuses but its an order

if he f's this up he'd be in the guardhouse and still owe da gov

well that was fast, right to the point, we're 4 mins in and itsa all set up

Well then in sovviet lramie, the crew is too drunk to do sh-t anda guy is said to have his way until the troopsd come

da train comes in and a maRCHING BAND PLAYS And the guys who own things tyalk about how their reign dontr gotta end

main guy comes in and reveals its only him to clean up this cesspoole of a town and the guy who runs thing, who imma call bad guy, sezhe knows him

main guy sez he had 28 daysd leave left anddon't care for this, then sees bad guy called jim and who shows him his goons

jim owns a hotel and you KNOW they gotabfight as former friends battling is how these go

main guy goes to hotel and jim sez helen will be glad to see him

the town ownmers wants to send word to da general but decide to find out more on what main guy is up 2

mayor i thuink is said to have hired his himie or relative as ssherrif or w/e

goons go up to check on main guy and dont like him but offer him money from da boyz

its 2000$ and he sends em out, whifch you could buy a lot of sh-t back then with that

main guy comes does in civilian clothes sayoing hes deserted and isn't gonna do his job

da judge comes down and sez sorryt for not being friendflier when he came andinvites him to thids meeting

main guy goes to sherrif area and sherrif is sleeping in an unlocked cell as theres like no crime biut main guy sez to get ready for inmates

later hes atta bare or casino or w/e and meets jims blonde gf and his goons are tthere

he tells em the penalty for bribing an officer is 3 years and hes gonna be marshasall and returns the monery

jim sez its a gift and maiin guy leaves but 1 goon insults main guy and sez to get outta town

main guy slugs him out and jim fires by goon when goon pulls a gun

jim and main guy walk and talk about him meetying blonde in soviet denver and main guy was a sgt years ago

they go to jims house and theres a chivck therewho is into msaain guy wjo remembers himn from 5 years ago

They talk about how cleaning up Laramie means taking down Jim and how Jim changed, but now  dont get mad when main guy looks at chgick

main guy goes to see judge andi think jim is b0ning chivck and hAS BLONDE on the side

2 lovers at once? What are you? Sailor Venus?

main guy is asked to do something by judge and the welites to do something about Jim and the head guy of the railroad making thing pipe murfy

they its maybe anothger day and a train goes to the railroad making area and the worker sare all drinking as i guess the union protects them

uinions are like gkloves on strings, itas nice to have, but responsible people dont need em

main guy goes in and tells pipe mupfy thast main guy in in charge and if they wanna stip him they wont be paid

pipe is slugged oiut by main guy and whhen he coes at him agauin, main guy busts his head with a shovel

imagine if he got him with the edge and took most of ther head off at an angle?

main guy has the workers get to work and tells the casino dinks to gte the booze and gamnbling out in 24 hours and if they don't, he tells em they're fired and the construction is closed

this guys is kicking a55 like Margartet Thatcher by beating union candya55

so the workers are fired and constructiuon is stopped and the towns guys dont like it

also 1 goon tells off jim for things going f'd and other goon aims a gun at him to send him off

jim sends a goon to the town council meeting and main guy has townsfolk hating on him for f ing things up

so theres a town meeting about the main guy stopping construction and he sez he shut dfown gambling and drinking and in 14 days they can come back to work under his terms

thew towen meucants wanna court martial main guy but are beat in a vote as its only a fortnite

jim sez no crtedit for workers at bars or other things to make the workers mad and they can't take out loans for gambling

they complain to Jim but he sez to meet him later and blonde suspects jim would throw her under da buss if he wanted to

at a meeting the past sherrif wait hes still it, sees the railroad menn getting drunk and goes down to the office and gets his gun

drunk angry union workers might try something dumb and main guy goes to the bar with him too see jim telling the drunk angry unionites to be violent to get their way

main guy tells em they can do a days work for a days pay and to break up the gathering

he arrests jim for tyrying to starting a riot and blonde brings main guy to the back for a drink and she's ok with jim being arrested

she has some morals and cares about not jyuuing people for money but no jury in town would convict him as they fear jim

she offers help and they make out, but in the ral version they were probably b0ning

he dotn make a bargin woth her and goes back to the sherrif office

main guy checks onjim and find him ripped open with his guts out and him moning and spazzing out sauing "You drove me to this!"

jk really hes smoking, which is bad too, and sez hes gonna look after helen

he goes to jims house and tells chick that jim is in jail and she worries something might happen to main guy cuz of this

main guy and chici wanna help jim overcome his evil and shes mareid to him and is loyal to him

as main guy returns, hes caught, beat up and thrown n a train while  k o ed

imagine if they sawed off his arms and legs and left him there wiggling his stumps?

the next day, is the trial and sherrif is asked if he ever saw a man get his thrftoat cut with a razor like what jims shaving with to keep him from talking

main guy wakes up on da  train llike in star fox 64 and climbs toi the head of it and has the drivers reverse the train as i guess you can drive it backwards

at trial the arresting officer and sherrif wont say it as he dont wanna wind up like the diana or charles other women and the case is dismissed

So main guy gets back and finds the trials over and sherrif is bummed he queered out

main guy sez they might not have convicted him anyway and blonde comes over and sez da towens gonna blow open

she offers something seductivly for the 50s and goes out

1 guy , wait its pipe, sez to blow the areasor something and the workers torch the camp like diane fossey in gorillas in the mist on the africa people

they blow places in town with dino might and bust the place and keep being not guilty

main guy sends word to get 12 jury memnbers and new railroad workers and the message guy dont send it as jim dont want it

i like how it goes black and unblack to change scenes like a silent movie

to prevent suspicin about the message not being returned, they blow the area by a railroad and cover the tranks in dirt to say its a landslide then cut the telegraph wire

da town guys talk to main guy about how he screwed up and now the town is worse and he otta rehire em

but main guy sez not to give in and wont so they are gonna call the general and save some time and have him cour martialed but then learn the diinoi might f'd the tracks and cut the wire

sherrif volunteers to go out to get help and its ok as long as he dont run into indians

1 goon is out there somehow ahead of him and j fk's him as he goes by

main guy talks to jim and gives him money for the room, but at night the sherrifs horse comes back with blood on it

they find sherrif and i think hes dead and main guy goes to casino bar and blonde tells him where the killer is, but not to kill him

she suggests having women serve on a jury now and to try that but main guy goes up, slugs out the bodybuard and confronts main guy and goon about attacking sherrif

goon sez "i didnt kill him" but main guy sez "how'd you know hes dead?"

goon pulls a gun and main guy caps him and arrests jim for ordering the hit

the men whine about women on juries but unlike judge jumangi, there have been good female judges ike Judge Amy

the court is asked to not use chick but they allow it and they are sworn in and photographed

thought you couldnt photograph juries in case someone they convict wants revenge

so the tiarl goes on and people give their terstamony and the jury goes to deliberate

hes found guilty and blonde was the main chick on there

later main guy tells blonde not to go down as theres people angry over the outcome and blame her for sending him to the sodomy house

she dont care and tells him off but then warms up to him and they smooch

later they are making gallows to put jimmy boy to sleep as he's not the queen and can ighnore the law and get away with assassinations

helen comes by da jail and makes out withjim but he tells her he was framed and guilts her intyo giving him a firearm

if only those were illegal, then no one would have em, like drugs or naecro p0rn0e

jim gets main guy at gunpoint later, makes him open the door, then clubs him out and goes to blonde place

he blames her for finding him guilty and not his own actions and caps her but she tells someone that jim broke outta jjail and shot her

they tell main guy and he gets a posse together to hunt the jim like michael myers in halloween 002

main guy confronts helen over giving jim the gun and she asks to let him go but main guy dont buy it and searches the house

jim prepartes to skip town on a work train and in the daylight, clubs out a worker and drivces off as telepgraph guy holds train guiys at gunppoint

but a telegraph comes in and he runs out and eyll that the slide is cleared and theres a passanger train fiill of people comming on that route

main guy hears and rides off on a horses a55 to outrun a train that left longer ago and doesnt get tired

well somehow he catches up as they feed the horse protocultyre and gets on dsa train

theres a gunfight with goon and he shoots the gun outta his hand but when he goes by, goon was faking being dad and fights him

he beats the guy off the train and goes on the final boos/.former  friend and grapples

after nearly being thrown out, he gets in and stops the trainbut the othe rtrain is comming

he puts then train in reverse even though it ashould take a while for momentum to stop and he gets the train going backwards as the other train stops and this one reverses

this feels like it could have been in a silent film

so he brings in jim who i think was executed and blonde is ok as its only 1 bullet and ahes in the 1800s like teddy roosevelt and now hes going back but gets the girl

the end

That was pretty good

good story and acting

The music is nice and the filming and pascing is good

good flow and no drag and iits got nice color and effects

Good action and the story surprised me

For Rails Into Laramie 2 I want the goon who fell off the train to team up with the wife of the jim and try to take out the main guy of the 1st movie, they get a buncha guys across the area who he p-ssed off to unite and aTTACK and he's gotta take em on, 1 at a time, in various brawls, untul he faces the goon who now has a metal hand from the damage it took from the gun being shotr outta it,m and the wife who's gotten into roids and is now all hulked out, Also its a 32/64 bit Fighting game on Sega Saturn, N64, PS1 and 3DO where you play as Main guy or his blonce woman who's also on roids and beefed out, and yuou fightr in a Story Mode against a series of matches againstr the enemies, or a Free M<ode where you platy as anyone and fight the others.

Major Dundee Review

 Noite: I spell major bad

Major Dundee

This is my review on ?Majoy dundee from  the distant fiture year (to POresident Jefferson Davis) of 1965

Its dirtectwed by Sam Peckinpah wwho did nothing I ssaw

it stars awesome charlton heston from ZBen Hurm, Planet of the Ap[es, The Ten Commandments, Soylenbt Green, Touch of Evil, The Greatest Story Ever Told, Beneath the Planet of the Apes, The Omega Man, ddisneys Hercules, Armageddon, The tim burton Planet of the Apes and the commie propaganda Bowling for Columbine, Richard Harris from The Bible: In The Beginning/Unforgiven/The Wild Geese/Smilla's Sense of Snow/Grizzly Falls/Gladiator/Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone/The Count of Monte Cristo/Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Jim Hutton from The Green Berets, James Coburn ffrom Monsters Inc/The Nutty Professor/Maverick/Hudson Hawk, Michael Anderson Jr from Logan's Run, Mario Adforf from Smilla's Sense of Snow, Brock Peters from the 90s Batman/The Pirates of Dark Water/Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country/Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home/To Kill a Mockingbird, Warren Oates from The Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond/Blue Thunder, Ben Johnson from The Outlaw/Red River/Mighty Joe Young/Shane/One-Eyed Jacks/Hang 'Em High/Chisum/The Last Picture Show/The Town That Dreaded Sundown/The Swarm/Red Dawn/Angels in the Outfield, R G Armstrong from Children of the Corn 01/Predator 01. L. Q. Jones from Hang Em High, Slim Pickens from One-Eyed Jacks/Dr. Strangelove/Blazing Saddles/The Swarm, Dub Taylor from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington/THEM!/The 50s a star iis born/Bonnie and Clyde/The Shakiest Gun in the West/Back to the Future Part III/Maverick/Twilight Zone, John Davis Chandler from Moon of the Wolf/The Outlaw Josey Wales, Karl Swenson from Judgment at Nuremberg/How the West Was Won/The Birds/The Sword in the Stone, Albert Carrier from Cleopatra Jones/Scarface, Michael Pate from Julius Caesar/Hondo/McLintock!/the 60s Batman, Enrique Lucero from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and many meexicans and 1900s guys i bnnever heard of

I never saw this but its over 2 hours and some cuts have an extra few mins

ew its super widescreen, but well colored

so in the end of the civil war, indians looted an area 3x as big as texas and 1 group of soldiers as wasted by indians, but 1 survivporcame througgh it

then title and credits to upbeat music as the town the indians attacked burns

charlton moses heston comes in with his horses and men on em and 1 guy is missing half an arm

they come to the burned toiwn after the invid got it and 1 new guy sez he dont know if the ndians iced the kids, or took em to devolve into their warriors

they find a guy offscreen they hope was dead when they did it to hum but if he was they wouldnt have done it

i assume he's inside out and his guts are spelled in words as a message

so then moses goes to get men to fight the indians and tewlls em its hard and f'd but they'd get pardons and paroles, but if they desert he'd ice em

oh its the confederates and some  would rather stay in jail than work for the commie soviet union

moses sez these confederatyes are gonna be triualed for murder as the guard thety clubbed bit it

after an offscrteen trial they are found guuil;ty as its TOTALLY fair and inbiased wit the enemy controling the court, and they'd get da noose

mosrshas all but the blonde guy sent out and its shown they were fruiends abnd moses voted against him for icing another officer in a duel

moses is from da south but betrayed the protoculture to side wit the unionityes and blonde blames heston for goping against him

slim pickens is hired as a horse theif and aftyer much interviews of malcomntents, heston gets a few on his teem

1 co worker sez heston sent to here was dicipline and he shouldnt go after the indians to save te kids as they;'d goi to soviet mexico where the frenchies are

heston is gonna bring 10 men and confederate prisoners and weites a note saying he acxcepts all responsibility for it, also he was in gettysberg but it f'd out

this base is a prison or w/e and he meets with a lower rank soldier and gives him a list of weapons to get but styops him and tells him where to get em

so some horses and men go out and get an a55 load of guns and ammo as this is America! We are the Powwer!

So 100 inmates volunteered and they took 6 and made gallows for the coinfederates found "guilty" at a trial

heston hired cowboys drifters ad drunks as he didnt get many confederates to sign on

tthats who you want, drunks and malcontents, you can trust em

heston talks with a preist about how he wants to smite the wicked insatead of save the heethan and we geta scene of a guy grinding a cigar into the ground with his bare foot

some black guys volunteer after doing cleaning and labor for a while

heston comes in and slugs out blonde for having negotiations to work with heston and vows to hanng him, but blonde slugs ben hur out and they agree to work together to stop the induians

like the autobots and decepticons teaming up to fight unicron

btw, despite beuing a confederate, blonde has a brittisash accent

and unlike disnbey movies, hes not the bad guy

so ten some guy comes by and sez where in mexico the apache indians went and oh its 1 arm, and hew has 2 indians with him who are probably 80% White who want revenge on the indian leader for saying he couldnt be trusted and didnt bring him on a raid

so to counter that, hes gonna betrayy and murdser him, makes sense

so the troops and new guys learn their tools and animals, which ARE tools to be used by the Superior Humans to do with what we will

man we're 40 mins in with adds, that felt like nothing

by november 07 they were ready and blonde brit confederate looks like Errol Flynn with the moustache

ha they got a Snake Flag for Don't Tread On Me, These guys are cool

so they sing ZBible and 1800s Songs and after a montage of them going over places, they wonder if they can make it back

near da rio grande an indian with 1 arm comes back and tells em stuff and  they rude in

they go on and find confederates but hestron sez he knowws he has blondes wword so he wont join them and they move on

at night 1 southerner asks a black guy to take off his boots and says things bleeped out

they fight and the Confederate is beat by the priest after being knocked down

there's nearkly a brawel but blonde stops it and heston debates with blonde over who's right in what they do and their actys of blonde fighting for the south

blonde sez the higher ups made heston a jailer instead of a soldier for a reason and heston walks off

so they go on after the indians and 1 arm fights well against the indian on their side in a friuendly match

then theres a whistle and they put out da fires and bring in an indian who saez hes a peaceful apoacvhe

he sez hes gona help em and brings kids to emwho were being raised as indians, whuch i wionder if the left would hate or love as its cultural approprioation but whuites fightiung whites

1 guy suggests the indians are gonna take the kids back so hesrion gets siome guys to bring the kids to safety, then the rest go afdter the apache

so they go on and at night in a river these guys in the shadows sniper emlike an irishman from the grassy gnoll

the indians ride in and attaCK AND I THINK THEY WON, BUT I WAS LOOKING UP WHY kANYE WAS TRENDING AND ITS CUZ HES OUTING TYHE KARDASHIAN 5KANKS AND DONT WANT HIS KIDS DEVOLVED LIKE THEM

f u caps lock, suck kanytes ppoop filled d0ng from being in kims butt

so the americans and union soldiers dig a big pit and throw the dead in it, then sing a bible song

so they move on but the wounded might bit e it if they dont rest and we're 85 mins in so far with adds

they wind up in a sdesert wasteland area with skinny dogds and dry bones and mexican kids and people and its like violence jack or hokuto no ken

they come by this area with frenchies and the frenchies dont want em there as the frtench arer evolutionarily challenged and hate americans and yankees

1 chick sez the apache was there and they got nother for em, even women to b0ne

hwer husband was a dr like winrys rents in fma and they got little food ort supplies

heston or blonde used the cannon to blow the base and they wiill take food and give it toio the people and solfdiwrs

like with moses taking grain for the pagan gopds to feed the hebrew slaves?

moses 2 electric boogaloo

so heston gives away food and horsdes to the peope, to help em and the women help treat their wounds

heston tallks with blonde about how he wants his men drubk and men to run off as the frenchies are gonna attack, but he is gonna copunter and take em for it

the perople dance and cleebrate being freed from frenchie filth like canada wishes it could be and they eat various animals

heston recognizes something about the chick and blonde goes off to try to b0ne her

man that blonde is like a foot taller than all these mexicoes

its like going to Japan with all the 4'9 chicks

heston dances with chick and a soldier sez they need more guards at the french jkail and he wants to dance with chick, which he does as hes drunk

after da party richter, heston moses ben hur soilet green omega man  sees chick and she sez bye and goes on about ditching her disapproving fam for her husband and now has no one here

remember the progidal son? He came back, you could too

they make out and he rieds off then in town he tells off a bugel boy for b0nign a chick instaed of doing army cr-p

in the real version they were b0ning

this IS the real version!

so hesten and men ride out and he lets the frenchies escape and sent some guys out as a decoy as the frenchies went back to their group

so the frenchies come by and in a distance the humans watch

then its night or what they want us to thuink is night by tinting the film darker and the humansd come by and jack the frenchie horses

but gunfire happens and the frenchies scramble

days later, the frenchies figured out they were chasing a 1 arm and an apache traitor and the humans were safe from the frencheis

the humans were swimming in a waterfall and pool below it and word gets back the frenchies attacked the village the hgumans freed from them

later a man desserts and took some supplies to keep himself alive

heston wants him back but 1 arm sez he wont as its not what he signed on for so blonde goes after him

gheston might torture or executre the man but blonde sez heston wont

days later they bring back the escapee and find the chick, b0ning giel and kids who escaped the village

the escaped guy said he went out to help the village and weasn't desserting

heston donty believe him and orders him executed but blonde says to let him handle it

heston wont have it and orders to have a firing squad chosen from unionites

blonde sez he  cant help him and is sorry and man belonged to heston and not him

blonde sez he's gonna kill heston and i gotta say,m its not the worst thing as he plays a bad guy here

as man goes on about how heston will burn for this, blonde caps him so the Americans wouldnt be vengeful against the unionites

so the camp is geting rough and suspect and chick talks with heston about how we all died a bit with the boy

she wants a free life with him and they amke out they swim nakedlike in planet of the apes but we dont see his a55

he suggests she comes to live with him in america and an indian attack and gets an arrow in hestons leg but blonde gets him

heston needs medical attention and the arrow is close to the key point and blonde wants to take over the command and tells off heston for his actions and chick for bein a 5kank

so heston goes to the mexico town under french rule and gets hsi leg treated but need 7 days to walk and 12 to riude but hes gonna dfom it sooner

chick goes in toi tell him to be careful and to get out and i think there was another chick in there so she thinks they were gonna b0ne

heston goes backandon the trip is in the slups of mexico and blonde finds him and wants to end him himselklf

to get heston out oif a bar w/o suspician, blonde starts a fight with him and the area is under attack by the humans

blonde is gonna get heston out but he doint wanna go and blonde sez hestons not weorth wacking and leaves

heston goes out and meets blonde as they get on horses and vows to end the apache menace

so heston gets back to his group and flees the frenchies anfd chases the apache

later its night but really tinted day and the apache attack under the fake night and 1 arm caps a guy and the shot wakes up the americans

its a desparate battle aND the americans win and end the amache leader

now they got no common enemy and might go at it, but the frenchies are coming

they go for the rivber into Texas but the frenchies block their way so they use the cannon like its the main gun in robotech or the wave motion gun in starblazers

the frecnhies charge but as they are french and have no napoleon to save their candya55es, they get busted by cannon fire and guunfire as they cross the river

eventually they getta cross and battle and the frenchie who corssed fall

imagine if this was made today and theyn showed a cannon shot blowing apart or through a horse and or man

so the humaNS CHARGE THE FRENCHIES IN THE RIVER AND blonde gets capped by a frenchie and riedes in to fight and die against the frencheis like hes Nathan Bedford Forrest

i guess hhe figgered he was already dead and went out fighting, even though he could have been saved depending on the billet hole

so they go back to america after beatiing the frenchies

the end

that was pretty good

heston was a harda55 but not hateable

good drame and music and filming

good action and acting

its like 2 hours but dont feel it and has goof flow and no drag

it shows a good story that i;'m told is like moby dick

i liked it and heston does a bada55 show of being tough and manly

oh yeah, and its probably not connected to crocodile dundee

For Major Dundee 2 i want him to be punished for going off on his chase of the apache by sending him to the outskirtd of america, but there he faces a WERE SASQUATCH THATS A GUY who was into the black arts and dvolved byn it and now roams around feeding on people, also its a 128 bit survival horror game on sega dreamcast, gamecube,, ps2 and xbox where you play as heston and go around the forest and ruined towns and caves and try to take it out while evading it when you arer getting morte ammo.