Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Sergeant York Review

note; I never saw this b4. so I'm experiencing it and reviewing it. so theres typoes
sergeant York
this is my review on sergeant York(40s ver)
its by howard hawks who did the thing from another world
and stars cooper
ooh, its based on actual events
and music by max steiner
it starts with heroic music and deticates the film to survivors of ww1
until the 2010s, that was possible
so its 1916
and people are singing about being there for a roll call
oh its church
the priest sez the story of the good Sheppard leaving 99 sheep to save 1
a guy with loud shoes comes in during it
priest sez a farmer near em left 67 pigs to find 1
then cowboys come in and shoot up some trees
the guy found the pig in the winter
he gets fed up with the gunfire and ends mass
later some old guys (civil war survivors?) talk about current events
the paper sez the germans are winning ww1
better than the brits and serbs
and a few guys are displeased over the germans getting to paris for some reason
most don't care
then mother York comes by shopping
she talks to the priest about someone named Alvin
I think he a malcontent based on what they say
she asks priest to talk to Alvin
later mom yprk goes home and sends her kid George to get Alvin from the Kentucky boarder
Alvin is in Kentucky from Tennessee to get booze
theres a line on the floor separating the states
why'd they build it there??
after talking with his drinking buddies over what to drink to, they drink against getting sober
the bro George comes in to brings him home
but 1st theres a bar fight over a guy poking fun at his mom wanting Alvin
1 guy gets his head beat into the floor like George Zimmerman
but this time he didn't need a gun to survive
I think it was Alvin beating the head
then they go home
MA YORK hoses him of with a bucket of water
after dinner Alvin plows the field
he talks to the priest about how he plows around a rock and its easy to plow crooked and hard to fix it
also Alvin is going to h-ll but can be saved if he gets right with the Lord
priest gives more good advice about finding his way and having something to anchor him
but Alvin don't think he needs it
imagine if the priest said; see you in h-ll Alvin(from heaven)
later these guys are on a hunt and following hunting dogs
a 10s chick gives Alvin advice but hes got a b0ner
he talks with the chick
brother George doesn't get whats wrong with Alvin and goes off
her name is gracie like in student bodies or degrassi
also hes noticed she "growed up"
how old is she?
how old is he??
later hes grooming in the mirror and talking with ma York about his dad and grampa getting chix
later gracie is knitting and talking to zeb Andrews(possible relation to d b Andrews from Robotech the movie)
zeb wants to take gracie to a dance but Alvin comes in and zeb gets disgruntled
or should I say... malcontent!!
zeb keeps trying to outdo Alvin but Alvin keeps his cool
this is like degrassi in the 1910s
gracie goes in to get cider but when shes back zeb left
I think Alvin said he'd b0ne zebs fam dead
wait, he fought
shes disgruntled over it and he sez he gon marry her
she freaks out
she sez no and he thinks its cuz of the land he owns
she sez all he does is fight but he don't get it and books it
at home the mom sez the dad tried to get the bottom land (I don't know wat dat means) but Alvin don't care
hes like Inuyasha
later he tries to sell cr-p to a 1800s looking dude
the guy gyps him
they make a pact that he pays him 70 $ in 60 days or hw loses it
he agrees to do work for 75 cents a day
his logic; that's 60 days and 60 nights
but we need rest to function
we getta montage o him doing various 1800s work like shoeing muels and splitting rails
if this were an 80s movie it would have a stan bush song
like with blood sport or transformers the movie
also the gracie falls for him
he also has a calendar where he adds up his cash
so later theres one night left and he don't got enough cash for it
he asks the 1800s guy for extra days
he gets it
on Saturday is a turkey shoot to win a thing he can sell
nowadays the animal supremacists would throw a sissy fit
like that Morrissey candy a55 who wouldn't go on with duck dynasty guys cuz he saw em as "murderers"
so Alvin makes turkey sounds to get the turkey out the log and blows it apart
they don't show it
too bad
it otta show it asploding is ultra high def slo mo 100000 frames per second
then theres a gun accuracy contest and Alvin does well
another guy does well and Alvin wins
he sells it
but 1800s guy has sold the land to zeb
he snaps and walks off
he then starts picking off everyone who ever wronged him in a birthday related list
that would be cool though
instead he is disgruntled the guy gave his word and welshed on it to jew him ot so he went to irish up his liver
he goes home in a lightening storm and gets fried
he survives but his gun melted
and I think the horse got f'd
he hears church singing and goes in the church
everyone is happy to see him
he later goes to the 1800s guy and the guy is freaked out
but Alvin is nice and has found the Lord
he asks to buy back the mule he sold him but is given a good price
also he chats with zeb and is nice
he asks to work for zeb
they decide to work together
later he encourages gracie to marry zeb
she freaks out and wiggles a knife around at him saying shes gonna marry Alvin
later hes teaching children the good book
right after he says "thou shall not kill" war is declared
I should note that Woodrow Wilson ran on the promise not to go to war
after he gets in? war
so Alvin don't wanna go to war
he thinks the bible is against it
I should mention the proper translation from Hebrew to English is "thou shalt not murder"
if someone is trying to kill you and you fight back and the attacker bites it its not murder
also the Israelites went to war against many groups in the old testament
they iced the Canaanites as they ritual sacrificed their children to a demon god
and if a fam didn't have a baby to sacrifice, they'd buy one from a poor fam
the priest sez members of certain religions are exempt for military service if its against their faith
but the army guy sez their faith is just the bible and its not specific on saying war is bad
they appeal but it runs out and Alvin don't wanna go
but he goes anyway
he has faith in the Lord for keeping him safe
if this were made nowadays it would be the evil Christians forcing the peaceful non Christians to fight their war and have no respect for their gods
he sez bye and gracie gives him a smooche
1 chick asks what they're fighting for and mom sez they don't know
its for englands deviant regent so he wont lose face against his cousin the Kaiser who he hates over the Kaisers grampa doing something his grampa hated
at the training camp the head guy sez to watch out for Alvin as hes against killing
2 guys have to explain to Alvin how a subway is as they are from soviet new York and Alvin never heard of it
later the men get their firearms and the head guy makes comments against his being a conscientious objector
later they train with live ammo
Alvin does super well
the yankee army guys are surprised by his skill
he gives em tips on hunting turkeys
the higher guys give him a chance to get promoted
he don't wanna take life from others as God gave it to em
the army guy gives bible verses that are pro war
but Alvin gives counter verse
so a higher up gibes him a book on American history
they talk about Daniel boone being free
and how Americans have been fighting freedom
but this war was started by the serbs icing archduke Ferdinand
the germans didn't start it
and the brits did a lot to get hate
and iced rasputin
I missed a bit as my fata55 gf kept spamming me about dbz cr-p
so he reads the book and is conflicted over God and country
he remembers the line of; give to God what is God's and give to Caesar what us Caesars
he goes back to the army and gets to be a corporal
later the soldiers go to france
too bad America sided with the brits
we could've done good with zee Kaiser
so they are at the trenches and being shelled
one guy bites it
now I'm a descendant of ww1 survivors
my great grampas fought for Austria
once my great grampa was in a crater
a shell came in
7 guys dead
hes wounded
so later the ameicans go on a mission to stop the enemy thing
much gun and shell fire
an unlike most tv things, it shows people biting it
not just gunfire and people running
they get the high ground ad capture the germans
but the gertmans counter with a rapid fire weapon and mow some down
they're pinned so Alvin goes out on his own takes out the weapon users
he takes out more guys by using a turkey call to confuse em so they come up
he picks em off one by one until they surrender
he catches a bunch but 1 guy throws a grenade and ices a guy
he gives em a warning
they then take the prisoners to the American area
they meet some English allied solders and move on
he goes to another base and they are gonna make em go on
but after hearing it was like 8 guys who did it, they help em
word spreads about Alvin catching 132 guys
Alvin tells a superior about catching em
1 guy asks what changed alvins mind to fight
he sez he iced em to save lives
that's also legit not murder
if someones gonna murder some innocents and u ice em to protect em, I don't think that's murder
but don't quote me
Alvin is promoted to sergeant and gets medals
he comes home and has a parade
I missed some cuz my fata55 gf was bugging me about some cr-p
I think hes meeting the president
the music is really good
touching and special
really fits the mood
but when he got the medals I felt it sounded like it as gonna end
he gets a call from home
oh wait hes in new York
better known as new Sodom
so people want him
2 film makers
and a breakfast guy
and they'd pay out the a55 over it
but he don't want cash for killing people in self defence
I missed a bit as I was typing to my fata55 gf
man that chick gets needy
oh I remember
he wants the land zeb had
I checked wikipedea and it said the Tennessee people bought the land and built him a house
the end
that was good
if they remake it, its gonna be violent, swearing, lusty and anti American
don't remake this holly wood
you'd f it up
for sergeant York 2 I'd like for it to be in the 30s and f dr is f ing up America. he chooses to send his goons to beat up people who go against his new deal communism. he also has their arms and legs removed and keeps them as slaves for his dogs to b0ne as a warning to real americans. they come for Alvin as hes a good biblical American and is against communism but he defends himself by blowing off their arms with pinpoint shots that hit the key area. he takes on f dr's minions and goes to free America from him, but f dr has mechanically enhanced his body with cyber items and you gotta  take him on in several levels of run and gun action. its also a 4 player run and gun on sega genesis and super intend with you take on robot clones of f dr and frees areas under his control where he is removing peoples limbs for defying him in amputation factories and has dogs attacking em(you also ice dogs)

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