Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Bedlam Review

note; this typoes are based on once true words
my review of Bedlam (the 1946 ver)
its got boris Karloff and an uncredited thing of Robert Clarke (dad of Robotech and the tick actor cam Clarke)
ive wanted to review this for a while but stuff kept getting in the way
ooh its by RKO
it starts with like George Washington era painting of Charles dickens stuff
I think this is based on a true story
its set in the distant future year of 1761 in the evil land of England
they call it the age of reason
then one guy hanging on a building is kicked off by a brittish guy
this rich girl in a carriage jokes about a fata55 named Mortimer with her parrot
they stop by bedlam and its said u can pay to see crazyes
like a zoo
also someone fell trying to escape
but he was pushed(like charlz other woman)
later boris Karloff is waiting to see Mortimer
this black kid tries to look like Karloff by making bad teeth things and it reminds morty to see him
morty chews out karloffs a55 over letting that roof guy bite it
Karloff claims its an accident
wait, I think the guy was just visiting the nuthouse
this chick is displeased with falloffs deeds
so karlodd has his nut house nuts (that sounds like a band) perform for morty next week
morty has the chick go to bedlam to see the nuts cuz most people laugh at em
that's racist
when karlodf gets back he wants to write a rhyme about morty
but a stone guy/quaker has been waiting
he asks to do the work for 18 ginnyz and return 2 to him so both get richer instead of doing it for 15
but quaker don't consent
Karloff shows the chick around the nuthouse for a payment
theres whips
moaning people
and an indoor courtyard of freaks
1 weaves nets
she notices they are in their own world
Karloff sez they like animals
he shows the chick (but not the audience) mental patients who live in their own filth
sounds like a poop fetish
not that theres anything wrong with that
he has some in cages and she gets p-ssed and leaves
Karloff sez they are happy and she whips his face
as she leaves she has car I mean horse trouble
the quaker helps her and sez since she hit kroloff hes gonna f the nuts
he gives her some optimus prime advice on the crazys needing rights and being people
she sez she don't need kindness to her fellow man and books it
shes either gonna change or bite it
later morty has a party and lols at a nut playing reason in a play
another guy sez its not right to use people like this
also I think hes gold coated
reason struggles and bites it
the brits laugh
the chick stands up for him but Karloff sez its his own fault
she books it and Karloff has another nut sing
later she chats with the quaker about life and cr-p
later Karloff chats with morty about how the chick wants the nuts to be more comfy
Karloff gets morty out of it by saying it would cost him cash
She tells him off and they bicker
just b0ne already!
she ditches him and books it
later the chick's furniture is taken back by morty
later morty finds shes selling the bird she trained to bash him
but hes gonna buy it back
this other chick flirts with fata55 morty and sez she likes big strong men
sounds like she has a strongfat fetish
after word gets back that buying it back wont work, Karloff wants to commit her to bedlam
typical England, lying to ruin good people
later the quaker comes in and morty tries to have a deathmatch with him
but just falls on his fat a55
later the chick Is living with the quaker but sweeps up for him
later she meets with morty and Karloff but she turns down their offer and smacks klarloffz face
so Karloff twists morty to have her commited
she is given a hearing (which I'm surprised at as England and soviet Canada aint good on real people having rights)
she sez she knows her alphabet from a to ZED(not a real letter)
a bed ced ded ed fed ged, hed I jed ked led med ned o ped, q red sed, ted u ved, w x yed and zed
they have her committed for not selling a 5 shilling parrot for 100 ginnyz
if that was in REAL money i'd know if that's a good deal
later shes in the nut house
they're gonna b0ne her dead
its sorta ike Abashiri family how Kikunosuke went to paradice school but it was a prison
morty gets back da bird and teaches it new tricks
I'm surprised he don't try to b0ne it
he IS English lol
later the quaker comes to see morty but the black kid sends him packin
later a cockney guy gives quaker the info on her being in bedlam
in bedlam the nuts keep saying her name cuz someone outside heard it]
quaker comes in but is denied entry as he has no arms and cant give em to the guard to keep em outta the inmates hands
typical England, twisting the rules to oppress good people
later he gets in somehow (I think through a shipment of stones) and the crazys freak him out
man those are some ugly a55 brits!
he calls to the chick but the crazies repeat her name so it takes a while
she wants out as the nuts scare her
he tries to make her being afraid of crazy people seem like shes as bad as Karloff
if he had to spend time with those freaks he'd hate em too
later quaker talks with a printer to see some guy named wilkes (like from gone with the wind)
but hes out so he gotta wait
in the nuthouse she gets to know the less insane nuts
they play cards with pretend money
its kinda nice to see people playing make believe
like that star trek ep where they act illogical to bust robots
1 guy has chains and they bug him so she goes to get da key in the dark crazy place
she finds a guy chained up and in a metal thing
hes probably dangerous
but she gives him mercy by tearing hewr dress and using cloth pieces to soften his chain burn
also a trowel she dropped is taken
Karloff comes in and mocks her over her wanting to reform bedlam
he agrees to fund her cleaning up the dump
later a guy wants a crazy to write his homework but its taking time cuz they're cleaning up the place
they have a flipbook animation and a guy sez the chick is like an angel brightening up their lives and helping those in need
Karloff sez he has a new 1 roommate bedroom for her
but its got a maniac in it
she don't wanna and Karloff sez its proof the weak must be ruled by force (how English) and the quakers words of love and peace are cr-p
so she goes in the cage with the maniac
hes gonna b0ne her dead
shes nice to him and he stutters
later quaker talks to a guy about the Karloff and settling his a55
in bedlam 2 nuts are arguing over a small thing and the chick helps
Karloff offers her a "cure" to "help" her but she don't consent
so hes gonna do it anyway
the nuts grab him and she takes his keys
his screams are unnoticed as everyone screams in bedlam
a guy (I think wilkes) gives her advice to get out the window
also other guys tried it but bit it
but she can do better somehow
Karloff begs for help but 1 guy sez hes a judge and tries him
the maniac nearly drops her but helps her on the roof
the crazys have a trial and want him b0ned dead
she goes to the quaker church and sez hes gonna bite it
so quaker convinces her to try to save him cuz his evil is a mental illness
at the trial Karloff plays the victim card and sez he only did it cuz he was afraid
and he wont punish em if they let him go
they find him sane (which normally means guilty) and are gonna let him out
but he gets a head shot and they think hes dead
so they hide him in a wall and seal it up
weird how these nuts know how to make a wall
as they put the last bricks in he wakes up
when the good guys arrive they cant find him and the nuts sed he booked it
quaker notices the wall and puts it together
but the chick convinces him not to tell as it would only bring them bad
rather than reveal the truth, he lets them get away with it to get the girl
the ending text sez in 1773 they got a good hospital and gave the crazys better living stuff
the end
that was pretty good
karlodff ids good at being evil
I liked the way they did things in here
not much horror but good atmosphere and feels
plus the b/w was well done
for bedlam 2 I'd like for the Karloff to have made a pact with a demon for the power to get out and is being kept alive by black powers. he rubs his way out of the wall by eroding it with his hands (which are demon powered to be undamaged) and once he gets outy he b0nes king George to turn him insane. with the king insane, the people follow him blindly as they are devoted to the regent at all costs. soon they let the crazy's run things and anyone sane is locked up and b0ned until they go nuts. then they set their sight on japan but joining japan is napoleon who wants revenge for them turning his home country of not france into new Sodom as they have rampant b0ning and drugs and cannibalism.

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