Tuesday, March 20, 2018

The Graduate Review

note; I'm watching this for the 1st time and eating shaphgetii. theres gonna be typoes
the graduate
this is my review of the graduate
(60s ver)
was there any other vers?
ooh its by mgm
it starts wuth dustin Hoffman going somewhere to the song "hello darkness my old friend"
wasn't that an episode of sailor moon?
from the heart snatchers season?
in the canadian dub
then dustin talks to mr feeny from boy meets world about his worrys
so dustin won something and everyones proud of him
lets see how long that lasts
1 guy sez he should get into plastics for his future
nowadays he's be shown as evil
later hes in his room and this older chick comes in and chats
shes smoking which would make her the bad guy today
so dustin drives her home as her husband took her car
is that a ferrarri mustang?
at her place she gets him to stay with her until her husband gets home
they talk a bit and she sez she knew him all his life
sounds like trunks and pan from dbgt
dustin realizes shes trying to seduce him
if their ages were switched they';d make the guy look like a monster
also; 5kank!!
later she has him unzip her dress
why make clothes it takes too people to get in/out of?
he gets weirded out about her in her undies and tries to leave
she has him bring up her purse
man hes kinda wimpy
she traps him in a room with her and shes naked
this is how p0rn0es start
she sez he can b0ne her any time and he gets out
but her husband comes home and they chat
it might be from watching rain man too much but he seems kinda autistic
is revealed dustin is 20
but b4 the 5kank was said to be 2x his age
well, I sailor moon serena is 14 and darien is in his mid 20s
and in Yugioh joey is 16 and mai is in her mid 20s
and in dbgt pan is 15 and trunks is 25
but this is a bigger gap
so husband sez its ok to live wild and b0ne while hes young
that's how rock Hudson got the aids
or magic Johnson got aids
or Charlie sheen got the aids
5kank comes down and is wearing the dress
how'd she zip it up?
later its daytime and dustin Hoffman is in a scuba suit
we get a 1st person shot of him going in da pool
its a pool!!
you don't need a scuba suit!!
why is the main guy such a candya55!?
and  thought only modern moves started wieners
later he calls da 5kank to meet him at a hotel
don't do it!
she's probably b0ned dozens of younger guys
well, so did gacy...
after not doing much for quite a while he arrives and he books a room
man nothing happens in this film
its just people walkin around and waiting
eventually they get to the hotel room
they talk and get ready for like 8 minutes b4 b0ning offscreen
then they play the darkness friend song
then he's in a poo on a floating thing in the sun
nowadays that would be shown as bad
then theres a montage of them getting ready to b0ne
after they b0ned it plays simon and garfunkle
later mr feeny wants dustin Hoffman to go to graduate school
I don't know what that is
also dustin is getting lazy
then the 5kank and her husband come by and husband wants dustin to meet a girl
later hes shaving (I thought he was jewish) and his mom wants to know what hes been doing
later dustin wants to talk with the 5kank b4 b0ning
after some chatter I don't really pay attention to she don't want to talk about the girl the husband wants for dustin
she don't want competition
oh the the 5kanks daughter
that's ironic
she b0nes a younger man as she's tired of her husband
but fears someone doing that to her
what a b--ch
then she makes him feel bad for thinking about it
then she forces him to promice to not see her daughter
like how you promices to stay with your husband??
later the dad keeps pressuring dustin to date the daughter
later dustin ohdfing(hoff man) goes to the 5kanks house to meet the daughter cuz of his dad
and the 5kank is p-ssed
later he's driving the daughter hand sez he's not going to graduate school
they go to a str-p club and she don't like it
better turn her queer then
she cant take it and books it
so he follows and blames his parents
they kiss
later while eating burgers he sez hes felt like being a d-ck since graduating
sounds like hes possessed
later they stop by the hotel he b0ned her mom a lot at for some reason
and everyone knows him
later she asks if hes b0ning someones woman
he admits it
she goes off and later the 5kank is driving with dustin
she wants him to never talk to her daughrer again or shes gonna out them
yeah that'll make your daughter like u
admitting ur cheeting on her dad
look at what happened in degrassi high
so dustin comes out to the daughter and she's p-ssed
after driving around to music he tells his rents he wants to marry the daughter
but he hasn't told her
is this like in zoids how harry champ wants to marry leena?
then he goes around while thinking and the same song plays
he also drives over a bridge
is thisnew York or san fran sisco?
both are full of purvoes
look at law and order svu
more like new Sodom and new Gomorrah
he stops by a campus and talks to a guy
I think hes renting a room there
 he calls it Berkley
isn't that where those anti free speech protests happened?
how un-American
so then dustin stalks the daughter to musc
he even runs keeping up with a bus
what is he? the terminator?!
he meets daughter and they go to the zoo
by the monkey house he admits hes not a student and just sits in on classes
and they dont mind
guess they don't care whos mind they corrupt, as long as they can
then the daughter's bf coms by (a big buff blonde guy like bll rizer in contra)
later he confronts the daughter and she sez he raeped her mom
he tries to explain but she freaks out and screams
what a crazy b--ch
the guy he got the apartment from sez he wants dustin out
and almost calls da cops
if it were a guy in there screaming they'd be ok with it
but straight love is bad at college
she sez sorry for screaming and she don't want him to leave until he has a plan
she leaves
btw what happened with da 5kank?
shes not been in the film for like 20 mins
probably seducing more school boys
later daughter comes back and sez she wants to marry him
later he wants to get blood tests and birth certificates for marriage for some reason
is new York/California a socialist state and have all this big guv red tape for a simple marriage?!
then they talk about how she might not marry him for several days
later he gets home and the husband is there smoking a cigar
he is p-ssed at dustin Hoffman for b0ning his wife
then h4e takes out a switchblade and stabs him til his guts fall out
really he wants to have dustin hoffma arrested
oh and dustin sad his b0ning his woman was like shaking hands
he leaves and calls dustin a degenerate
and the guy who owns the apartment wants dustin out
dustin begs him for a dime to use the phone and offers 20$ for a dime
why would u pay for a phone in ur apartment?!
rich enough to own an apartment, not rich enough to afford ur own phone
he goes to see the daughter but she left a note saying shes dumping his a55
he goes to the 5kanks home and finds the 5kank who nearly gets the cops to come and arrest him for being a burgler
bearing false witness
he sez she cant stop him from seeing her and she offers him a drink
she's gonna drug it and when he wakes up he's not gonna have man parts
then he goes around looking for the church the daughter is getting married
his car bites it and he leaves it for the homies to strip dry
he gets to the church and bangs on the glass barrier on the 2nd floor at the daughters wedding
he goes down and fights the wedding guests off
he keeps em away with a big cross and seals em in by barring the door with the cross
they get on a bus and go off with the darkness friend song
the simpsons did that pretty close
and waynes world
the end
that was not bad
the music was nice
 and the colors were well done
even though pretty much nothing happens and its just people not doing anything and b0ning offscreen for 2 hours
but I enjoyed it
it feels ok
and if made today the malcontents would go mental over it
for the graduate 2 I want the dustin Hoffman and the daughter to be on the run from both families as they are hunted down and have assassins after em. dustin and the chick have to escape from the city and fight off homies paid to take em out. also its a 2 player beat em up on sega genesis super Nintendo and Gameboy advance with one player as dustin and one as the daughter. eventually they go on the attack and take out the family heads in epic combat and the final boss is the 5kank mom who seduced dustin who is using demon powers gotten from too much lust to fight with black ki.

No comments:

Post a Comment