Monday, March 26, 2018

The Incredible Shrinking Man Review

note; my spelling makes more sense than most sci fi
the incredible shrinking man
this is my review on the incredoible schrinking man (the 50s one)
I never saw irt b4
but i think its kinda like a reverse of the movie attack of the 50 foot woman
its written by the guy who dud a buncha twilight zone episodes in da 60s
the director is jack Arnold who also did
With These Hands (1950) (sounds like a p0rn0)
Girls in the Night (1953) (another p0rn0)
It Came from Outer Space (1953) (which was good)
The Glass Web (1953) (sounds like a Castlevania level)
Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954) (I reviewed it)
Revenge of the Creature (1955) (sounds like a batman ep)
Tarantula (1955) (I like spiders)
Outside the Law (1956) (wasn't that a steven segal film?)
The Tattered Dress (1957) (sounds like a law and order svu ep)
High School Confidential (1958) (degrassi p0rn0)
The Space Children (1958) (the results of alien p0rn0(or Robotech))
Monster on the Campus (1958) (la blue girl??!!
The Mouse That Roared (1959) (better than a shark roaring in that jaws sequel)
Bachelor in Paradise (1961) (totally not a p0rn0)
The Wackiest Wagon Train in the West (1976) (which I saw on a public domain thing and kinda liked)
after some cool opening credits with a man cut out shrinking, a man narrates how this s his weird story
hes on a boat with some bimbo enjoying the sun
nowadays this would be show as bad
they joke around about her getting him a beer
nowadays he's be having chronic
then this mist goes by him while shes getting the beer inside the boat
hes exposed to it
later at home his clothes are too big for him
he wants her to get a bathroom scale
later a the drs sez gone fro 6'1 to 5 11 and down 10lbs
the dr thinks its a mistake
people are taller b4 lunch
later at home the scale sez he lost 4lbs
could be the scale being off
he is gonna kiss her with consent but he notices hes smaller
wonder how it effects his man thing?
another week later hes at the drs and had x rays
dr confirms hes shrinking
maybe he got bit by a were-midget and is turning into one?
then theres a montage of tests
wtf dr sez ah minnow acids
its uh mii noh acids
not like amano jyaku from Urotsukidoji!
later a dr sez its him being sprayed by bug spray by a truck that started it
then radioactivity from the mist turned him
in the car he sez hes ok if she dumps him
but she married him for better or worse
even if he becomes a hobbit
later his bro sez he lost a account and cant afford to keep paying him
and the reporters got wind of his shrinking
so he uses his disability to get fame
sounds like something for the learning channel
look at my 600lb life and all those midget shows
btw the movie makes him look small with big bets and editing his human sized wife into the foreground
they even got the shadow edited in
main guy gets disgruntled about being 3 feet tall
oh and theres a mob of freak fetish people outside
btw in the 50s, radioactivity was basically used like modern stuff uses science and evolution
as a magic excuse for making their crazy plot work
later main guy gets a phone call saying they found the cure
he goes to da dr and get a needle
they use a childs arm for it to look small
later it sez hes 36 inches and 52lbs
that's don't add up
is he made of iron?
also hes stopped shrinking
man we're only 25 mins in
later hes disgruntled about being a midget
oh and hes got a cat
I hear real midgets dont like dogs as they are around the same size or less
so main guy goes to a carnival and we hear of an 840lb woman
but they don't show her
and they have a 36.5 inch woman there
h0ly cr-p this is the learning channel
he cant take it and leaves
later hes at a coffee shop and his blonde midget comes by to talk
blonde midget?
like... total recall?
she gives him advice about how being a midget needs getting used to
btw the coffee cups are smaller than the salt shakers
he feels better and writes a book about is life
he meets the midget lady again and notices hes shrinking again
later hes the size of an action figure and living in a doll house
where'd they get it?
was it hes as a kid?
or did she buy it?
store; is this for your daughter?
her; no, my husband
store; purvurt!!
as she goes out the door is left open and the cat gets in
btw how can the wife hear him if hes so small?
the cat comes after him and he escapes the doll house
but it attaks him
wait, where'd he get his clothes?
are they from a toy?
the cat toys with him and he knows over a lamp to stop the cat
he runs to the basemet and tries holding the door closed
I doubt he can hold off a cat if hes the size of a G I Joe
he falls down the area by the stairs
the wife returns but thinks the cat got him
and the news reported hes iced
he wakes up in a box and mves junk around to get out a crack in it
btw, why did they still have the cat if hes mouse sized?!
give it away or shoot it!
its like a human having a pet dinosaur!
so he cant get up the stairs
and has to survive until she comes down
he drinks water drips
and has a matchbox to live n
meanwhile the wife chats with the guys bro and thinks he might be alive
he finds a mouse trap and nearly trips it
theres tension as he gets the cheese
so he throws a nail on t
but it still don't go
he gets the nail and tries again
but the chreese does down a grate
he tries climbing a shelf to get food on it
but a freekin tarantula comes out!!
imagine if it were a house centipede!!
that would be f'd!!
so he gets a pin from a pincushion
then bends another
what r u playing at??
he gets string and lights a match to cut it by burning
u know if u started a fire in the basement she'd come down
using the bent needle and string he climbs the shelf like a grappling hook
he gets to the top of da shelf but theres a gap on top he cant get by
he tries moving a paint wood stick but its sealed to the she;lf by paint
so he tries using it to jump across
but it starts coming off the paint
so he jumps and catches the other side
also he threw his needle equipment across b4 going
smart move
reduces weight and rick of self wounds
he gets the bread and finds a way outside the window
but theres a bug screen
and outside is a bird
he tries getting it over but t books it
he cant get out
he throws down the bread but the biggest piece is part of as spider web
after coming down the tarantula chases him
so e hides in his matchbox
this isn't some dinky house spider
its a big a55 tarantula
its bigger than the matchbox
eventually it leaves
later the wife is gonna leave
oh and the water is dripping on his matchbox
then it bursts forth like with noahs flood and fills the basement
the bro and wife come down and the basement is flooded from the water heater
and they cant hear him as hes too small
holy cr-p hes smaller than a pencil
bro unclogs the drain
then they go up and bro sez he wants her outta da house tonight
main guy survives the drain on a pencil
why didn't he go up the stairs on his pin grappling hook?
so wife and bro leave
and main guy has a tarantula after him
but it climbs the shelf
he gets his pin weapons and wants to right the spider for the food
wtf the tarantula is on a web
they don't do that
they hunt
after climbing the shelf he uses his g hook to hit the paint can and walks around the lower rim
he finds scissors
and wants to shank the spider on the pin weapon and throw the scissors connected to it down
he tugs the web to get the spider down
then throws the hook at ti
he throws the scissors but the string gets stuck
then breaks
he fights it with the pin he has left
the spider gets on him and just d-cks around until he grabs the pin and shanks it
is he gonna eat it?
why was the spider in the shelf if it has a web?
he then walks to the food, don't eat it, and black out
hes still shrinking
he goes to the gate and is small enough to fit through
he talks to himself for as bit about cosmic stuff like the future and others migth become him with radiation and the universe
to God, there is no zero and everyone has worth
it ends with him thinking about the cosmos and how he no longer fears the future
the end
that was pretty good
nice 50s sci fi
great effects and attention to detail
good acting and themes
no lust or swearing
no gore
just a great film
for the incredible shrinking man 2 I want him to pray for help and an angel appears before him. it offers him a chance to return to full size. he takes it. but he also has spiritual powers. and can change his size at will smaller or return to human size. also aliens have seen this and they want his powers so they try to abduct him. he uses his holy powers to keep them off. so they attack the city hoping to make him surrender. so he goes on a battle against them and changes size to get past their scanners and gte inside them to bat up their organs from the inside. its also a 16 bit action game on sega genesis and snes and Atari jaguar and has him fighting aliens in several levels and having a recharging holy ki meter to shrink, grow or use ki blasts. oh and in some levels the tarantula is revived as a vehicle to ride on to help him fight through stuff and can grow to human size.

No comments:

Post a Comment