Saturday, March 24, 2018

Willard Review

note; I never had rats. but I had a pet tarantula. also bad spelling isd here
this is my review of wllard (the 70s one)
I never saw this b4 but hear its good
it starts with triumphant music and credits in a factory
its got ernest borgnine in it and a buncha no ones
its based on a book
so then ernest b--ches at this blonde guy Willard about screwing something up
Willard goes home and everyone wishes him happy birthday
he's 27
I missed the party as I got my spaghetti
aftere the party he throws food at a rat in the yard
later its night and his mom b--ches at him about the party and him offending people
she b--ches about their cr-ppy home too
latter its day again and Willard feeds da rats
later his mom b--ches about the rats again
he goes to work and theres a blonde there
his boss rides his a55 over being late as Willard missed da bus
ernest is his boss
hes had it with Willard being late on work and is gonna fire him over it if it keeps up
and he paid for a helper chick
da blonde
later Willard is helping da rats and their rat kittens
he gets em in this pool thing on a rock thing and fills it with hose water
da music makes this seem bad
Willard is won over by em and saves em
he tells his mom he iced da rats
she cant handle him saying it
later at work Willard aint invited to ernests b day par tay
at home a neighbor sez something hapened with wilards mom
he chats with mom and shes kinda needy
later he tries training the rats
he finds a little white rat and calls him Socrates
i'd've gone with stewart little
later his mom calls him with a silver bell and she b--ches at him over being in the backyard
she sees the white rat tail in his pocket but he sez its nothing
later he has more rat kittens
he carries em in a kiddy wagon
he plays with da rats and is happy
1 rat is named ben
the music is happy like willy wonka
later at work ersnest is with a thick blonde
I think in the real version they were b0ning
Willard wants a raise from his boss ersent
ernesrt sez he wants to buy willards home
boss esnest b-ches at him for maybe not ending his anniversary invitatons out
and wllard being a burden
later Willard goes to bos ebesrt party and lets his ats out
the guests freak out and esnrst trashes the place
later at work the guys laugh at the event
boss gets a call and he sends Willard home as his moms sick
turns out she bit it
the neighbor said she tried to reach him but boss said Willard was out
also mom asked neighbor to look after Willard
also they moved her b4 Willard got there
later he finds she left him no cash and if he sells the place he can pay the mortgage
but he don't wanna
later ersent is at his place and eating a lot
as are others
later he moves his rats to the celler
later he gets p-ssed at the neighbor and kicks her out
btw they use real rats for this not puppets or cgi like they'd do now
so his rats start coming up of the cellar
hes talking to his rats
yeah but people talkling to dogs is seen as ok
and dogs don't understand SH-T!!
later he brings his rats to work with him
an he has a new car
blonde has got him a pet cat
at home he gets a letter saying they're gonna sell his home for taxes
huh, looks like taxation is theft
he gives the cat to some guy and goes in
he yells at the rats for b0ning too much and breeding too much
he then feeds the rats
you know, they can survive on their own eating bugs
but some bugs eat rats
On Rock Kids TV was a thing where the God Rocks dealt with a mouse that freaked out the girl.
Me; If mice scare you, just get some foot long centipedes!
They'll take care of the mice! (Although footlong centipedes are kinda worse than mice...)
Willard asks the nreighbor for help with da taxes
he asks another guy for it but the guy sez its better to sell instread of getting into debt
like the housing thing in 2008
don't buy what u cant afford
later at work Ernst wants the thick blonde hes b0ning to get 8000$ in cash from das bank for a guy vacationing in Europe
at night he comes by the Europe guys place and has his rats eat the bedroom doors wood
he opens the door and somehow the rats get in his bed and him and his woman run out
later ernest wants to tear down willards home and put an apartment building on it
and sez Willard will sell if hes unemployed
but Willard hears him from inside
later Willard gets mad at ben the rat for doing rat things
he takes ben to the office but tells him if hes bad he wont take him anymore
yeah cuz rats can know English
later eertewrent borgnine ries to get da blonde to make willard sell
but she dont consent
so he fires her as she had a temp job there
and Willard gets fired in 30days
then thick blonde finds the rats and screams
everyone gathers and ernests tries to stick em
he wastes Socrates
and Willard couldn't do anything
or he'd be exposed
after cleaning the rat blood off him he invites the thick blonde to b0ne later
killing and b0ning
he's living the dream
later Willard sez sorry to ben about Socrates
at home he yells at a picture of his mom for bad advice in trusting ersenrty and owing taxes on the mortgage
later he drives a car full of rats to work
ernest opens da door and Willard is sourrounded by rats
its like with zoicite in sailor moom with the cat with the rainbow crustal
so erent is freaked out and wilard looks like hes gonna snap
and he controls the rats
he sez ernest stole his dads business, it iced his mom and hes tiying to ruin him
Willard (who looks kinda like Michael cera or my Yugioh homie tyler who linked his pokemon black to my pokemon white 2) sez ernest made him him hae himself
and iced his bff socrates
so wllard has the rats eat him alive
instead of icing him they should've ate holes in his body and lived in him
maybe after eating off his arms/legs
later wilard drowns the rats in the pool pond
nowadays they'd make him look bad 4 this
its jest ratz!
I eat better animals than that!
later he invites the blonde back to his place and sez she and Socrates helped him
he sez hes not afraid anymore and is gonna find work
but sees ben
but she don't see him
he checks he basement and its full of rats
he sends the blonde home saying hes gonna all her
he tells ben if ben behaves hes gonna give be and rats food
Willard is mixing rat poison in the rat food but ben notices and alerts the pack
the rats go after him and get him
then the credits roll as ben watches
btw Charles laughtens woman elsa lanchester was in this as I think the thick blonde or the mom
yeah its the mom
the end
that was pretty good
kinda like carrie or kiss of the tarantula
I like the 70s feel its got and the characters are well defined
you know who is what.
I liked it
and the rats were real
not cgi
it looks great
for Willard 2 I want for the blonde gf to come back and save him by carrying whats left of him out of the window. hes covered in cuts and bites and has got no arms or legs but still has his parts. she realizes the only way to stop a swartm of rats, is with a tougher swarm. she then uses her Ki to heal his bleeding stumps and gets him to a dr to fix him while she goes around looking for parts of an ancient treasure that can summon foot long centipedes. but the rats are after her and she uses various show powr ups to stomp da rats after her like big boots or high heels or spring boots to jump high. also its a 16 bit game on sega and super Nintendo and gba and Atari jaguar and turbo grafix 16 and you play as the blonde going in several temples to get the pieces. also ben has learned to synchro with the rats and they unite to form a giant rat golem that fights as one and is the size of a sasquatch. oh and she gets the centipede staff to control the centipedes to for into new limbs for Willard and for a centipede armor on him to let him fight again and extend his punches and kicks and reach

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