Willard Review

note; I never had rats. but I had a pet tarantula. also bad spelling isd here

Willard

this is my review of wllard (the 70s one)

I never saw this b4 but hear its good

it starts with triumphant music and credits in a factory

its got ernest borgnine in it and a buncha no ones

its based on a book

so then ernest b--ches at this blonde guy Willard about screwing something up

Willard goes home and everyone wishes him happy birthday

he's 27

I missed the party as I got my spaghetti

aftere the party he throws food at a rat in the yard

later its night and his mom b--ches at him about the party and him offending people

she b--ches about their cr-ppy home too

latter its day again and Willard feeds da rats

later his mom b--ches about the rats again

he goes to work and theres a blonde there

his boss rides his a55 over being late as Willard missed da bus

ernest is his boss

hes had it with Willard being late on work and is gonna fire him over it if it keeps up

and he paid for a helper chick

da blonde

later Willard is helping da rats and their rat kittens

he gets em in this pool thing on a rock thing and fills it with hose water

da music makes this seem bad

Willard is won over by em and saves em

he tells his mom he iced da rats

she cant handle him saying it

later at work Willard aint invited to ernests b day par tay

at home a neighbor sez something hapened with wilards mom

he chats with mom and shes kinda needy

later he tries training the rats

he finds a little white rat and calls him Socrates

i'd've gone with stewart little

later his mom calls him with a silver bell and she b--ches at him over being in the backyard

she sees the white rat tail in his pocket but he sez its nothing

later he has more rat kittens

he carries em in a kiddy wagon

he plays with da rats and is happy

1 rat is named ben

the music is happy like willy wonka

later at work ersnest is with a thick blonde

I think in the real version they were b0ning

Willard wants a raise from his boss ersent

ernesrt sez he wants to buy willards home

boss esnest b-ches at him for maybe not ending his anniversary invitatons out

and wllard being a burden

later Willard goes to bos ebesrt party and lets his ats out

the guests freak out and esnrst trashes the place

later at work the guys laugh at the event

boss gets a call and he sends Willard home as his moms sick

turns out she bit it

the neighbor said she tried to reach him but boss said Willard was out

also mom asked neighbor to look after Willard

also they moved her b4 Willard got there

later he finds she left him no cash and if he sells the place he can pay the mortgage

but he don't wanna

later ersent is at his place and eating a lot

as are others

later he moves his rats to the celler

later he gets p-ssed at the neighbor and kicks her out

btw they use real rats for this not puppets or cgi like they'd do now

so his rats start coming up of the cellar

hes talking to his rats

yeah but people talkling to dogs is seen as ok

and dogs don't understand SH-T!!

later he brings his rats to work with him

an he has a new car

blonde has got him a pet cat

at home he gets a letter saying they're gonna sell his home for taxes

huh, looks like taxation is theft

he gives the cat to some guy and goes in

he yells at the rats for b0ning too much and breeding too much

he then feeds the rats

you know, they can survive on their own eating bugs

but some bugs eat rats

On Rock Kids TV was a thing where the God Rocks dealt with a mouse that freaked out the girl.

Me; If mice scare you, just get some foot long centipedes!

They'll take care of the mice! (Although footlong centipedes are kinda worse than mice...)

Willard asks the nreighbor for help with da taxes

he asks another guy for it but the guy sez its better to sell instread of getting into debt

like the housing thing in 2008

don't buy what u cant afford

later at work Ernst wants the thick blonde hes b0ning to get 8000$ in cash from das bank for a guy vacationing in Europe

at night he comes by the Europe guys place and has his rats eat the bedroom doors wood

he opens the door and somehow the rats get in his bed and him and his woman run out

later ernest wants to tear down willards home and put an apartment building on it

and sez Willard will sell if hes unemployed

but Willard hears him from inside

later Willard gets mad at ben the rat for doing rat things

he takes ben to the office but tells him if hes bad he wont take him anymore

yeah cuz rats can know English

later eertewrent borgnine ries to get da blonde to make willard sell

but she dont consent

so he fires her as she had a temp job there

and Willard gets fired in 30days

then thick blonde finds the rats and screams

everyone gathers and ernests tries to stick em

he wastes Socrates

and Willard couldn't do anything

or he'd be exposed

after cleaning the rat blood off him he invites the thick blonde to b0ne later

killing and b0ning

he's living the dream

later Willard sez sorry to ben about Socrates

at home he yells at a picture of his mom for bad advice in trusting ersenrty and owing taxes on the mortgage

later he drives a car full of rats to work

ernest opens da door and Willard is sourrounded by rats

its like with zoicite in sailor moom with the cat with the rainbow crustal

so erent is freaked out and wilard looks like hes gonna snap

and he controls the rats

he sez ernest stole his dads business, it iced his mom and hes tiying to ruin him

Willard (who looks kinda like Michael cera or my Yugioh homie tyler who linked his pokemon black to my pokemon white 2) sez ernest made him him hae himself

and iced his bff socrates

so wllard has the rats eat him alive

instead of icing him they should've ate holes in his body and lived in him

maybe after eating off his arms/legs

later wilard drowns the rats in the pool pond

nowadays they'd make him look bad 4 this

its jest ratz!

I eat better animals than that!

later he invites the blonde back to his place and sez she and Socrates helped him

he sez hes not afraid anymore and is gonna find work

but sees ben

but she don't see him

he checks he basement and its full of rats

he sends the blonde home saying hes gonna all her

he tells ben if ben behaves hes gonna give be and rats food

Willard is mixing rat poison in the rat food but ben notices and alerts the pack

the rats go after him and get him

then the credits roll as ben watches

btw Charles laughtens woman elsa lanchester was in this as I think the thick blonde or the mom

yeah its the mom

the end

that was pretty good

kinda like carrie or kiss of the tarantula

I like the 70s feel its got and the characters are well defined

you know who is what.

I liked it

and the rats were real

not cgi

it looks great

for Willard 2 I want for the blonde gf to come back and save him by carrying whats left of him out of the window. hes covered in cuts and bites and has got no arms or legs but still has his parts. she realizes the only way to stop a swartm of rats, is with a tougher swarm. she then uses her Ki to heal his bleeding stumps and gets him to a dr to fix him while she goes around looking for parts of an ancient treasure that can summon foot long centipedes. but the rats are after her and she uses various show powr ups to stomp da rats after her like big boots or high heels or spring boots to jump high. also its a 16 bit game on sega and super Nintendo and gba and Atari jaguar and turbo grafix 16 and you play as the blonde going in several temples to get the pieces. also ben has learned to synchro with the rats and they unite to form a giant rat golem that fights as one and is the size of a sasquatch. oh and she gets the centipede staff to control the centipedes to for into new limbs for Willard and for a centipede armor on him to let him fight again and extend his punches and kicks and reach