Note; i spell like an elephiant would... on crack
elephant boy
this is my review on elephant boy from the distant future year (to the czar) of 1937
its based on a story toonami i mean toomai of the elephants from the jungle book by rudyard kipling
its directed by Robert J. Flaherty and Zoltan Korda who did good cr-p
recording director; a w watkins
any relation to sky watkins who was in la blue girl and urotsukidoji?
it stars sabu and a buncha guys i never heard of
also it starts with a book opening and the credits on pages
just like pretty much every book film from then
so then we see toonami talking to the audience and saying his fam always named their kids toomai and did elephants
he goes on for a wordy monologue like tommy wiseau would do about his elephant fetish and how to catch and keep em
after 1 hunt they called him tomai of da elefantz
then we see an asian elephanrt and it looks weird but cool
it pulls branches off sabu and he wakes up
also theres a monkey
elephant eats sabu's stick he calls a shuriken i think
then his boss or owner or w/e comes by and sez theres gonna be a hunt but but sabu has to wash his elephant(that sounds wrong)
he climbs up on it and rides off like he man on battle cat but more size difference
the elephant almost steps on a kid but dont and they go to a village to eat cr-p off a roof
the elephant works woth sabu to lift and help him
its like tommy and the dragonzord
i think they r eating water melon but i cant tell as its b/w
also theres a sign o the wall asking for elephants to join in on a hunt
for some reason, i think my granspa from slovenia (1914-2009) looked kinda like an elephant
something about his eyes
so sabu rides the elephint to the water and its butt moves left and right as it walks like a fat chick
he helps bathe his elehant
also theres a mommy and baby elephant in da water
imagine if he crawled inside the elephant's a55 and controlled it like a veritech
meanwhile some brits are talking about how they need a lotta elephants
1 guy wants 40 and interviews a gy who sounds kinda like boris karloff who sez the elephants left
someone blows a big A55 horn to summon the elephants
1 guy with sabu gets spritzed by his elephant ands punches its back
nowadays some animal supremacist would go mental over it being "cruel"
yet anyone with a working brain knows that wiener's fist cant hurt that hulking dinosaur
its like spitting on a dog
no damage
baby sucks mommys nip
so thats an elephants nipple
looks like a zit
so the brit has an interview of thre elphimys
1 guy brings a chaimned elehasnt in cuz its strong but a trouble maker
brit sez if da gov found out they'd have him shot
thats big gov
oh and sabu's zord is brought in and shows ff his tricks
also owner is his dad and sabu sez he learned a lot from the elephant
it fought in wars and afrca
i was not aware england dominated india went to war wit soviet africa in the 1800s
cuz sabu dont gotta mom (;like in all disney films) and brit dont want him getting into trouble, brit brings savu along
later sabu prays to his god and sez he'd never steal melons again
so when does sabu become grotesque and deformed into some boney abomination and anthony hopkins falls in love with him?
so they go a long way to da jungle and i just realized that sabu and elephant are like tyson and dragoon in beyblade
elephant holds a stick to help sabu climb to catch this animal rthat looks like the thing from mac and me
but brit busts his a55 for going out in the dangerous jungle
at night brit wants a big a55 stockade made and to get ready for the hunt
after this big wood castyle is slapped together by work from man and elephant
elephants are daemons right? they got head wings for when you blow the body and the head to fly away.
mouth horns for stabbing people. and a tentacle on its face. plus they have huge tentacle like d0ngz! its like something from Urotsukidoji
so the castle has a gate that swings closed
but after 6 weeks they cant find any elephants
or; hairless mastodons
and brit wants to give up
bit is convinced to try for 1 more moon(whatever that means)
sabu gives the people advice on how to catch e;iplants and is laffed at by the unwashed masses
they say he'd be a hunter when he sees da elephants dance
he runs off and starts crying and cutting himself while listening to mo music
jk
the brit sez if he finds eephants dancing he'd make him a hunter
later a tiger goes near the goats and dad tells brit as he told no one else so they wouldnt freak out
not sure if its day or night as the lighting keeps changing
brit and dad go out and brit uses a gun on it
but dad runs out like a dumba55 and the tiger gets him
they bring hats left of dad back and sabu sees him
he's got no face, hands, feet or man parts amnd his gut is open and spilling organs
jk
thats a chimp attack
so sabu bites it from the shock and it ok after some rest
when he comes to brit comforts him
later sabu burns the pieces the tiger didnt eat
but elephant is going mental over his master being eaten by a tiger and is chained up
brit decides to send sabu back and to school to learn math and reading and cr-p
and some bad guy is gonna have the elephant
bad guy whips elephant with a chain but it breaks free and goes on a rampage
once in hawaii this circus elephant went mental when a new trainer made a MIstake and crushed his head under his foot, then busted up da town
it took the cops over 80 bullets to stop that rampaging behemotrh
sent it to H E Double Harambe!
so sabu comes back and tells the elephat off and it works
it pix sabu up and carrys him on his head
it looked like he was gonna stick his tusks up his a55
later sabu tries helping bad guy but bad guy ants sabu and elephant shot and sold parts of
the people debate capping or oisoning elephant
brit goes to see bad guy and gets him to call off the hit on the elephant or he'd kick him outta the camp and let the animals b0ne him dead
sabu is sleeping so brit ias gonna tell him about it later
but sabu was faking it and runs away with his elephamnt
is this an 1800s free willy?
eventually the camp figures out hes gone and go looking 4 him
if this goes how i think it will, the kid nearly gets killed and the elepphant gets wounded saving him, but they pull through and save the day
i think i saw this years ago but dont remember much
so sabu sleeps and elephant goes off on his own
later sabu wakes up and ant find him and i'm not sure if its day or night
he loox 4 him and finds a swarm of elephants walking
he eventually finds his elephant and they reuse footage of it putting him on his head
they go with the swarm of elephants and they all start roaring rthen dancing
imagine a break dancing elephant
after much reused footage sabu and elephant are on da ground as monkeys watch
imagine if in all the footage shot for this, they had an elephant reaching up another ones a55 to get a snack.
thats real
look it up
so its implied its probably a dream that had the dacing elephants
but theres a water hole full of elephants
the camp comes and sabu tries to take brits gun to stop them from wacking his elephant (that sounded wrong)
he offers to be brits slave if he spares elephant
brit tells sabu he wont cap elephant and sabu sez what he saw
he brings em to the swarm of elephants just a few feet away that thety couldnt see somehow
the camp use horns and fire sticks (torches ) and noise to herd them to da river
then they ride their elephants and get em to the fortress they made.
nowadays they'd make this look bad for catching wild animals
so sabu gets to be a hunter and is sent to train wth a guy for 10 years like terry and andy bogard from fatal fury 1
and now hes toomai of the elephants like his grandpa
everyone cheers
the end
that was nice
simple clean lite fun 1800s movie
i like films based on books, set in the 1800s, and used without cgi
although bram stokers dracula s-cked
this was a well done film and its got good feels.
For Elephant Boy 2 I want it to be about his training and he hears of harry elephants in america that were sighted in alaska. he goes on a trip to it and now as elephant abilities like strength, hearing, swimming and detatchable body parts under his control. he goes there and its about him hunting, finding, and fighting with them as there are 1000 foot squid under the north pole where he is that come up and eat them. its also a 16 bit platform sega gensis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar an gba with you using our abilities to go through the north ole and ice castles of the people there and fighting them, north animals, mammoths, wooly rhino's, and a giant squid as the game boss.
A place where I post silly reviews of various movies from an "everyman" or "contrary" P O V. Done in the style of a newspaper article and a grade school book report. Don't take these seriously. Its all in good fun. Also, each review ends with a crazy sequel idea.
Friday, May 31, 2019
Tuesday, May 28, 2019
The Lady Vanishes Review
review; i spell in english but americano engligsh so its better
the lady vanishes
this is my review on the lady vanishes from the 30s
its by alfted yankovich i mean hitchcock and stars a buncha brits i never heard of
I've never seen this b4 and avoided spoilers so everything is a surpirze
it starts with a miniaturte vilage in thre snow and the camera moving around it
at this inn or something at this italiano place the head hotel guy sez stuff in like 8 languages and sez cuz da train is late they gotta egister
threse probably americaco chicks go up with him and these 2 fruity brits chat about little things
they go to getta room and get the maids room after wanted a room with a bath
are they gonna b0ne??
is this the same hotel from the 30s invisible man?
it ooks like it
so they chicks chat about guys and 1 sez she has 0 regrets
later 1 fruity brit uses a phone to find out about cricket in soviet england
at dinner cuz there's too many people, there's no food left
i say they eat one of em
works in hansle and gretle
this geezer chick goes on about her living here for 6 years and goes off
no ragrets complains on a phone about th guest abone her banging around on da floor
headguy goes up and its these ugly people dancing and a snooty guy plasying a flute like ferris bueler who tells headguy to gtfo
so no ragrets pays head guy to shut em up
but flute guy comes in at night to her room and locks himslef in her bathroom and sings to make her pay toe manager restore his room
da next dae thae are leaving and no ragrets is it in the head with something
she leaves on a train and later goes to get some tea with the geezer as brits are too unevolved for pop
she's going to be married at home
i gotta say, i like the late 20s eartly 30s style of this
its got a charming feel
the camera and all
later no ragrets goes to look for the geezer but she's gone and no ones seen her
she meets flute guy who sez the people probably didn't know what she said
they ask around and 1 guy is a brain surgeon like american hero ben carson
they ask around but no one saw the geezer
this is turning twilight zone
remember that one where these guys went up in an experimental aircraft and one by one they were erased from existance?
that scared the h-ll outta me
more than urotsukidoji and violence jack
brain guy says a had hit can make people see things
and its all in her head
later this married couple chats about if one of em was lying or cheeting or something
oh they are talking about the geezer
the wife tells no ragrets she saw geezer
ohh
the couple are married to other people
and she said she saw her to avoid a scandle that would finger em as cheeters
no ragters and flute cop find a woman matching geezers clothes description but not her body as this one is german and young
they ask around but the people say the german chick is the one they saw
flutie and no ragters talk about his dad and life nd he comes on to her
she sees where geezer wrote her name on the window b4 but they go through a tunnel and its gone
she freaks out and stops the train
after a 10 min offscreen break, they go on and no ragtres and fluite look in the baggage area and see a moving box
but its got an animal in it
also they foind a poster about an act about a vanishing lady
also they find a trick trunk for magic shows to make someone vanish
they find geezers glasses but a hand comes for em like in a silent film and its a guy who claims to own em
they struggle and roll around on da floor like less 18+ mma
in the fight she busts his head and it cracks open spilling out gooey brains
jk
it just stuns him and they hide him in a box
but they realize he's got the glases and when they look he's gone as its a trick box
they look for brain dr but cant find him
fluite suggests brainy is geezer in disguise
then that german choick was swapped out for geezer
they try to check brainys patietns face but brainy comes in ad stops em saying its just raw flesh under there after an accident
darkman??
brain dr tells em to have a rink with him but plots with his nun assistant to do something to their drinks
also its implied he's beind something with geezer
at the drinking car they tell brainy smurf about what happened in the lugage van and how da nun is in high heels
better than a bikini like the uncut 3 stooges movie
flutites takes a drink
as dores no ragress
later he tells em he's gonna operate on the patient who is the geezer but hes gonna f it up on purpose
and he drugged their drinks an its gonna knock em out
they black out and brainy leaves but they were faking
they gotta stay awake and keep stimulated
gett9ng a b0ner keeps u up
he hangs out da window and crawls to the patient car
nun there sez she didnt drug em an is on their side
they take off da bandages abnd get her out then go back to their car
brainy xsees em and thinks they still asleep
at the station brany puts geezer in the car but its not her
the ambulance leaves but nun and brainy are on da train
he has nun iced for turning on him and theres a bad geezer with em
they show the geezer to the people in the train and its stopped
the nun is not iced but bound and gagged and a cop comes on
fluitie dont trust him and busts a chair on his head
oh and dr brain and bad geezer are outside in a car
the cops come for him but he holds em off with a gun
but brits hate guns
guns are manly and cool
the cheeting husband hads a gun but is afraid to use it
this guy is all kinds of s-ck
so there's a gunfight and geezer reveals she's really a spy and is gonna make a run for it
she teaches fluitie the song thats a code to a pact between 2 countries
she runs and they run outta ammo
cheeting husband wants to surrender in hopes of being spared
he'd let them b0ne him if they tried
they restart the train and the car chases after em
then cop wakes up and pulls a gun on em
no gartets sez there's only 1 bullet left
nun gets out and changes the tracks switch but gets capped
they get away and look like they gon leave
but get in the same car and make out
they go to da forign office but after b0ning in the car, he';s forgotten the tune
they hear the tune and its geezer who somehow made it there before them on foot through the woods
the end
that was pretty good
good mystery and twists
good balance of not knowing if its in her head or not
good suspence
i liked it
its got that late 20s feel that a lot of european films in the 30s had
its sorta like hitchcock's other films like the lodger or vertigo
ur not sure who's right until its too late
its a well made film and i think publicv domain probably
watch this one
for the lady vanishes 2 i want it to be revealed the geezer is making a pact to have england crush another country who it fears might surpass it and who wants to be the next america. flute guy sees the guys trying to ice her were trying to save their country and the grezer was the bad guy. he tries to take her out but she phases through him and reveals she has ancient tech soviet england has acquired from pacts with daemons and has used it to get to the place they are at b4 him. the girl reveals she has now got psychic powers from the head hit and overcharges an esp blast to obliterate her. but she is gonna reform in a brit daemon pit hidden in england and will make the deal then. so its up to flute guy who ca use his flute to fire sonic burts and the eps girl who gradually recovers her esp after overcharging it to find and destory the daemon pits to keep her from reviving. its also a 16 but game like master of darkness but on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you play as one or both of em and fight off brits and daemons.
the lady vanishes
this is my review on the lady vanishes from the 30s
its by alfted yankovich i mean hitchcock and stars a buncha brits i never heard of
I've never seen this b4 and avoided spoilers so everything is a surpirze
it starts with a miniaturte vilage in thre snow and the camera moving around it
at this inn or something at this italiano place the head hotel guy sez stuff in like 8 languages and sez cuz da train is late they gotta egister
threse probably americaco chicks go up with him and these 2 fruity brits chat about little things
they go to getta room and get the maids room after wanted a room with a bath
are they gonna b0ne??
is this the same hotel from the 30s invisible man?
it ooks like it
so they chicks chat about guys and 1 sez she has 0 regrets
later 1 fruity brit uses a phone to find out about cricket in soviet england
at dinner cuz there's too many people, there's no food left
i say they eat one of em
works in hansle and gretle
this geezer chick goes on about her living here for 6 years and goes off
no ragrets complains on a phone about th guest abone her banging around on da floor
headguy goes up and its these ugly people dancing and a snooty guy plasying a flute like ferris bueler who tells headguy to gtfo
so no ragrets pays head guy to shut em up
but flute guy comes in at night to her room and locks himslef in her bathroom and sings to make her pay toe manager restore his room
da next dae thae are leaving and no ragrets is it in the head with something
she leaves on a train and later goes to get some tea with the geezer as brits are too unevolved for pop
she's going to be married at home
i gotta say, i like the late 20s eartly 30s style of this
its got a charming feel
the camera and all
later no ragrets goes to look for the geezer but she's gone and no ones seen her
she meets flute guy who sez the people probably didn't know what she said
they ask around and 1 guy is a brain surgeon like american hero ben carson
they ask around but no one saw the geezer
this is turning twilight zone
remember that one where these guys went up in an experimental aircraft and one by one they were erased from existance?
that scared the h-ll outta me
more than urotsukidoji and violence jack
brain guy says a had hit can make people see things
and its all in her head
later this married couple chats about if one of em was lying or cheeting or something
oh they are talking about the geezer
the wife tells no ragrets she saw geezer
ohh
the couple are married to other people
and she said she saw her to avoid a scandle that would finger em as cheeters
no ragters and flute cop find a woman matching geezers clothes description but not her body as this one is german and young
they ask around but the people say the german chick is the one they saw
flutie and no ragters talk about his dad and life nd he comes on to her
she sees where geezer wrote her name on the window b4 but they go through a tunnel and its gone
she freaks out and stops the train
after a 10 min offscreen break, they go on and no ragtres and fluite look in the baggage area and see a moving box
but its got an animal in it
also they foind a poster about an act about a vanishing lady
also they find a trick trunk for magic shows to make someone vanish
they find geezers glasses but a hand comes for em like in a silent film and its a guy who claims to own em
they struggle and roll around on da floor like less 18+ mma
in the fight she busts his head and it cracks open spilling out gooey brains
jk
it just stuns him and they hide him in a box
but they realize he's got the glases and when they look he's gone as its a trick box
they look for brain dr but cant find him
fluite suggests brainy is geezer in disguise
then that german choick was swapped out for geezer
they try to check brainys patietns face but brainy comes in ad stops em saying its just raw flesh under there after an accident
darkman??
brain dr tells em to have a rink with him but plots with his nun assistant to do something to their drinks
also its implied he's beind something with geezer
at the drinking car they tell brainy smurf about what happened in the lugage van and how da nun is in high heels
better than a bikini like the uncut 3 stooges movie
flutites takes a drink
as dores no ragress
later he tells em he's gonna operate on the patient who is the geezer but hes gonna f it up on purpose
and he drugged their drinks an its gonna knock em out
they black out and brainy leaves but they were faking
they gotta stay awake and keep stimulated
gett9ng a b0ner keeps u up
he hangs out da window and crawls to the patient car
nun there sez she didnt drug em an is on their side
they take off da bandages abnd get her out then go back to their car
brainy xsees em and thinks they still asleep
at the station brany puts geezer in the car but its not her
the ambulance leaves but nun and brainy are on da train
he has nun iced for turning on him and theres a bad geezer with em
they show the geezer to the people in the train and its stopped
the nun is not iced but bound and gagged and a cop comes on
fluitie dont trust him and busts a chair on his head
oh and dr brain and bad geezer are outside in a car
the cops come for him but he holds em off with a gun
but brits hate guns
guns are manly and cool
the cheeting husband hads a gun but is afraid to use it
this guy is all kinds of s-ck
so there's a gunfight and geezer reveals she's really a spy and is gonna make a run for it
she teaches fluitie the song thats a code to a pact between 2 countries
she runs and they run outta ammo
cheeting husband wants to surrender in hopes of being spared
he'd let them b0ne him if they tried
they restart the train and the car chases after em
then cop wakes up and pulls a gun on em
no gartets sez there's only 1 bullet left
nun gets out and changes the tracks switch but gets capped
they get away and look like they gon leave
but get in the same car and make out
they go to da forign office but after b0ning in the car, he';s forgotten the tune
they hear the tune and its geezer who somehow made it there before them on foot through the woods
the end
that was pretty good
good mystery and twists
good balance of not knowing if its in her head or not
good suspence
i liked it
its got that late 20s feel that a lot of european films in the 30s had
its sorta like hitchcock's other films like the lodger or vertigo
ur not sure who's right until its too late
its a well made film and i think publicv domain probably
watch this one
for the lady vanishes 2 i want it to be revealed the geezer is making a pact to have england crush another country who it fears might surpass it and who wants to be the next america. flute guy sees the guys trying to ice her were trying to save their country and the grezer was the bad guy. he tries to take her out but she phases through him and reveals she has ancient tech soviet england has acquired from pacts with daemons and has used it to get to the place they are at b4 him. the girl reveals she has now got psychic powers from the head hit and overcharges an esp blast to obliterate her. but she is gonna reform in a brit daemon pit hidden in england and will make the deal then. so its up to flute guy who ca use his flute to fire sonic burts and the eps girl who gradually recovers her esp after overcharging it to find and destory the daemon pits to keep her from reviving. its also a 16 but game like master of darkness but on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you play as one or both of em and fight off brits and daemons.
Sunday, May 26, 2019
Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story Review
Note: i spell horse
Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story
this is my review of Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story from 2005 (the year the transformers moivie is set)
its got kurt russel, dakota fanning and kris kirstofferson
I never saw this before but the actors i like so it could be cool
its directed by the guy who wrote kong skull island and the 2017 power rangers movie
he also acted in witchboard 2 and pumpkinhead 2
so dakota lives on a horseless horsefarm in kentucky
her dad kurt russel works and dont spend much time with da fam
dakota stands in front of his car as she dgoes and he brings her with him
they go to a race track to watch horses
man kurt russel looks like bill murrey
imagine garfield as snake plissken
they chat with a black mexican and work on the horses
then this rich guy named prince something, wait i think he is a prince, wait, its a guy who works for prince to help him get horses to beat his bro
he wants to buy a horse and they watch a race
but da horse they liked trips and splatters into a pile of guts on the floor
jk
it just falls over
it broke its cannon bone which i think star wars did when disney took over, and they gotta put it to sleep
princeman don't care and fires kurt for not liking his tude
he owes kurt 9000 $ but only has 6000$ so kurt gets the horese too
they get home and its raining cuz its more dramatic and kurts dad kris kiristoferdsoncomes by and sez they otta put it to sleep
kurt remembered how kris saved a horse with a broken cannon bone as a kid
kris sed it let da horse walk a few years and he capped it
send that pony to H E Double Equestria
So kris helps
next day they say the horse cant race but might walk one day
but they can use it for breeding
and sell it for 300 000 $
later Dakota feeds the horse long t-rds i mean chocolate popsicles and puts the sticks in the ground
later the other helper sez his story of coming in 5th once and in his 2nd race he got run over by 3 horses and got all f'd
sounds like he should be a cyborg and take horses out for revenge
also he has dreams of falling off da horse but b4 he hits, he wakes up
then dakota feeds the horse anothe t-rdsicle and puts the stick with the dozen or so others
later datkoa chats with kurt about how their farm once was great but now s-cked
he got tired of raising horses for others to win with a kept a few for himself
at school dakia writes a story about a king, his castle and their magic horse
what is this? my little pony?
later a horse dr sez da horse can breed
what kind of b0ning experiments did that dr do to find that out?!
then kurt and dakoma go to see horses that won races
the guy there brings out a midget horse to help with the breeding
then shows them the horse he chose; grand slam
is this a p0rn0?!
but breedr wants 150 000 to breed with it as the usual breeding fee for grand slam is 200 000 $
horse h00kers
later kirs talks about grand slam and i think hes got a thing for him
and gives daokta papers about horse info her dad dont want her to know
and has dakota give him a coffee can with 20 000 $
he dont want it but kris talks him into it
later kurt tels darkonda that the horses name is spanish for dreamer
later kurt needs cash as things r f'd
hes gonna breed it but horse dr sez she's not able to
later mom who's not in most of this film sez kurt gotta spend time withdaoka
but he sez if dakoma wreent there that night he'd have let em ice it
dakota hears and is gonna run away
and is using the horse to ride out on
kurt comes in, horse spooks and runs and he drives after em
kurt drives ahead and gets out and daemoe jumps into his arms
that horse is going to the oven now
fire it up!!
later horse dr sez da horse is healed and there was a horse that had da same damage who won some thing
kurt sez da horse is too fat and had too many popsicles
fat horses?
thats brony
so they try racing it and it comes in 3rd
but after the race hes sold it and dakota gets p-ssed
turns out he didn't wanna but had to so they could enter or something and only 1 other horse got bought
bt dakotas characters name is cale like that wiener in dragoin ball super
so dakota gets whiny about her hosre getting sold and we get bummer moment
next day kurt has to go to dakolas school for parents night like in degrassi jr high
at it he reads her story about this king whos kingdom got f'd and he got a horse that gave him the hope to go on and find their kingdom restored somehow
that stor6y dont add up
was the kingdom teleported to the top of the mountain where they went?
kurt komes back to damomoko and they reconsile
nexrt day horse is back by spending his coffee money
and kurt gives legal ownership of da hourse to kardoma
then we getta montage of dakoma doing stuff and drinking coffee she made (witch tasted like a55, based on her reactions)
later daomoa decides to run in the breeders cup
so she goes to the comitty but there's an entrance fee of 40 000 $ and another 80 000 $ later
oh and her name is cale crane like Jonathan Crane, the scarecrow, from batman
later da horse gets in the breeders cup
later princeman offers them 20 000 $ for da horse
then 40 000$
as dakota dont wanna, he offers them 100 000 $ and dads job back
she almoist does it but turns it down
but later is gonna drop out
yet the other guy is over his ptsd and is gonna race again and it brings her back
they go to the brother of the prince for cash as they can beat the princes big a55 horse and he consents
at the race the princemans horse freaks out thee horse and it f's its leg
so cuz da odds are 8-0 to 1, kurt bets 250 odd $ on it
so they race and other guy nearly falls out but learns from last time and gets his foot back in the hoop
they win and 257$ at 80 to 1 is 20 000 $
the end
that was pretty good
nice light clean film
good acting and mucus i mean musci i mean sumns i mean music
good simple story and good flow
it doesnt drag and has good pacing
not much to say
i like it
its got hope
sorta like dbz or yugioh
even if it looks lost, as long as there's life, there's hope
for Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story 2 i want the prince who lost the race to em to send his goons to take out the horse who beat em. but dakota gets in the way and gets bown open with a mini bazooka. to save her, the grandpa uses a forbidden ritual he learned in his youth to fuse the wounded horse and whats left of dakota into 1 body. noew she's like a centaur but is waist up from the horses shoulders. she also can communicate with the horse by mind link and they go on a revenge attack to get back at the prince and his goons for trying to wack em. also its a 16 bit action game like strider on snes, sega genesis, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba and you go around stomping goons and people who fear you and try to take you out. also the prince is the game boss and he's a weird humanoid horse creature like bojack horseman but in bad cgi and was created when his dad b0ned a horse in a black ritual and has lightening attacks and can transform 2x into bigger badder formes.
Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story
this is my review of Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story from 2005 (the year the transformers moivie is set)
its got kurt russel, dakota fanning and kris kirstofferson
I never saw this before but the actors i like so it could be cool
its directed by the guy who wrote kong skull island and the 2017 power rangers movie
he also acted in witchboard 2 and pumpkinhead 2
so dakota lives on a horseless horsefarm in kentucky
her dad kurt russel works and dont spend much time with da fam
dakota stands in front of his car as she dgoes and he brings her with him
they go to a race track to watch horses
man kurt russel looks like bill murrey
imagine garfield as snake plissken
they chat with a black mexican and work on the horses
then this rich guy named prince something, wait i think he is a prince, wait, its a guy who works for prince to help him get horses to beat his bro
he wants to buy a horse and they watch a race
but da horse they liked trips and splatters into a pile of guts on the floor
jk
it just falls over
it broke its cannon bone which i think star wars did when disney took over, and they gotta put it to sleep
princeman don't care and fires kurt for not liking his tude
he owes kurt 9000 $ but only has 6000$ so kurt gets the horese too
they get home and its raining cuz its more dramatic and kurts dad kris kiristoferdsoncomes by and sez they otta put it to sleep
kurt remembered how kris saved a horse with a broken cannon bone as a kid
kris sed it let da horse walk a few years and he capped it
send that pony to H E Double Equestria
So kris helps
next day they say the horse cant race but might walk one day
but they can use it for breeding
and sell it for 300 000 $
later Dakota feeds the horse long t-rds i mean chocolate popsicles and puts the sticks in the ground
later the other helper sez his story of coming in 5th once and in his 2nd race he got run over by 3 horses and got all f'd
sounds like he should be a cyborg and take horses out for revenge
also he has dreams of falling off da horse but b4 he hits, he wakes up
then dakota feeds the horse anothe t-rdsicle and puts the stick with the dozen or so others
later datkoa chats with kurt about how their farm once was great but now s-cked
he got tired of raising horses for others to win with a kept a few for himself
at school dakia writes a story about a king, his castle and their magic horse
what is this? my little pony?
later a horse dr sez da horse can breed
what kind of b0ning experiments did that dr do to find that out?!
then kurt and dakoma go to see horses that won races
the guy there brings out a midget horse to help with the breeding
then shows them the horse he chose; grand slam
is this a p0rn0?!
but breedr wants 150 000 to breed with it as the usual breeding fee for grand slam is 200 000 $
horse h00kers
later kirs talks about grand slam and i think hes got a thing for him
and gives daokta papers about horse info her dad dont want her to know
and has dakota give him a coffee can with 20 000 $
he dont want it but kris talks him into it
later kurt tels darkonda that the horses name is spanish for dreamer
later kurt needs cash as things r f'd
hes gonna breed it but horse dr sez she's not able to
later mom who's not in most of this film sez kurt gotta spend time withdaoka
but he sez if dakoma wreent there that night he'd have let em ice it
dakota hears and is gonna run away
and is using the horse to ride out on
kurt comes in, horse spooks and runs and he drives after em
kurt drives ahead and gets out and daemoe jumps into his arms
that horse is going to the oven now
fire it up!!
later horse dr sez da horse is healed and there was a horse that had da same damage who won some thing
kurt sez da horse is too fat and had too many popsicles
fat horses?
thats brony
so they try racing it and it comes in 3rd
but after the race hes sold it and dakota gets p-ssed
turns out he didn't wanna but had to so they could enter or something and only 1 other horse got bought
bt dakotas characters name is cale like that wiener in dragoin ball super
so dakota gets whiny about her hosre getting sold and we get bummer moment
next day kurt has to go to dakolas school for parents night like in degrassi jr high
at it he reads her story about this king whos kingdom got f'd and he got a horse that gave him the hope to go on and find their kingdom restored somehow
that stor6y dont add up
was the kingdom teleported to the top of the mountain where they went?
kurt komes back to damomoko and they reconsile
nexrt day horse is back by spending his coffee money
and kurt gives legal ownership of da hourse to kardoma
then we getta montage of dakoma doing stuff and drinking coffee she made (witch tasted like a55, based on her reactions)
later daomoa decides to run in the breeders cup
so she goes to the comitty but there's an entrance fee of 40 000 $ and another 80 000 $ later
oh and her name is cale crane like Jonathan Crane, the scarecrow, from batman
later da horse gets in the breeders cup
later princeman offers them 20 000 $ for da horse
then 40 000$
as dakota dont wanna, he offers them 100 000 $ and dads job back
she almoist does it but turns it down
but later is gonna drop out
yet the other guy is over his ptsd and is gonna race again and it brings her back
they go to the brother of the prince for cash as they can beat the princes big a55 horse and he consents
at the race the princemans horse freaks out thee horse and it f's its leg
so cuz da odds are 8-0 to 1, kurt bets 250 odd $ on it
so they race and other guy nearly falls out but learns from last time and gets his foot back in the hoop
they win and 257$ at 80 to 1 is 20 000 $
the end
that was pretty good
nice light clean film
good acting and mucus i mean musci i mean sumns i mean music
good simple story and good flow
it doesnt drag and has good pacing
not much to say
i like it
its got hope
sorta like dbz or yugioh
even if it looks lost, as long as there's life, there's hope
for Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story 2 i want the prince who lost the race to em to send his goons to take out the horse who beat em. but dakota gets in the way and gets bown open with a mini bazooka. to save her, the grandpa uses a forbidden ritual he learned in his youth to fuse the wounded horse and whats left of dakota into 1 body. noew she's like a centaur but is waist up from the horses shoulders. she also can communicate with the horse by mind link and they go on a revenge attack to get back at the prince and his goons for trying to wack em. also its a 16 bit action game like strider on snes, sega genesis, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba and you go around stomping goons and people who fear you and try to take you out. also the prince is the game boss and he's a weird humanoid horse creature like bojack horseman but in bad cgi and was created when his dad b0ned a horse in a black ritual and has lightening attacks and can transform 2x into bigger badder formes.
Sunday, May 19, 2019
Looper Review
note; i spel;l ike futyure style
looper
this is my review on looper from the 2010s
its got joseph gordon levuitt from that live action g i joe movie and brice willis from dire hard
so it starts with joe in a field learning the evil language of french
a guy pops into his area and he caps him
he sez in 030 years there is time travel thats banned and its used by crooks
as law breakers are expected to follow the law
in the future its impossible to get rid of a body so they send em to the past to get whacked
hes a time hitman, a looper
the body has silver on it that he exchanges for cash
so the future is cr-ppy and slummy but not as bad as violence jack
he gives his homie a lift as his hover bike like in robotech wont start
also theres psychics now that can make small things float
jow goes to a bar or str-p joint or w/e and has a gf
also they are called loopers cuz if they are alive in 30 years, they get rid of their future self and evidence and send em back with a bunch of gold to get whacked
then i think joe does drugs as the film egts all f'd
next day he wacks another guy and more guys loops get closed(self iced)
btw in x men the 90s cartoon cable sez "when da gov made time trravel illegal, they also kept a few time machines"
reminds me of that
later its night and this guy he nows comes to him for help
he was sent a guy to ice but couldnt cuz he was singing a tune he liked and he knew it was him
theres a powerful new force in the future
the rainmaker
he's super deadly and is closing all the loops
joe lets guy stay in his floor as the forces come for guy
so jow is takes to this place and is told their guns are called blunderbuss's cuz you cant hit anything after 15 years but cant miss less than that\
oh and he seez the boss of the city
is that the guy from dumb and dumber?!
turns out curty bosss saved joe after joe outed their operation and gave him a chance to work for him instead of icing him
like kenichi from violence jack
and sez he can choose between giving up half his stash of silver or his guy who needs him
and if his future self is around in our time it could f things up
city boss wants joe to avoid soviet france cuz hes from the future
he gives up his guy and future guy starts losing fingers and gets words carved in his arm as past scars
he goes to where the words told him to go and they ice him
oh and his legs come off too
they just unexist
his nose too
they mutilated his past self so they would get his future self there
won't that f up the time line?
then again, just going back should f it up
imagine if they were b0ning him and made his future self recall it?
then joe goes to ice another guy but the futrue is late
then bruce willis comes back
he blocks the shot with the gold on his back and throws a gold brick at him to0 stop more shots
then slugs him out and gets away
btw city boss sez "people r like spiders, the little ones you gotta watch out for"
that will come back later
at joes home the guy who came for other guy (he's called blue kid like from violence jack) attacks but joe escapes
then we see the unaltered timeline where joe killed bruce, and lived his life
he went to soviet china and did drugs
then got into crime and turned into bruce willis
he met a black woman and they fell in love
wait, she's asian
i misremembered it
after 30 years the rainmaker attacks and ices his woman
even though the whole point of loopers is that its impossible to get away with killing someone
he busts outta his cuffs and takes out the peoprle about to send him back and goies back uncuffed and the movie retutns to its thing
at night bruce saves joe
i think
i'm not sure as its dark and i;m talking to my gf and editing something
later its day and they meet at a diner
they talk about time and life and possible futures
timelines and burces memories become clear or cloudy the morte of less likley they become and he rememberes what joe does after he does it
so what if joe gets into being b0ned by guys to turn brue gay?
bruce tells joe abotu how the woman who saves him is really good and she bit it after she made a noise when the rainmakers goons came for bruce and one capped her on reflex
in 6 months rainmaker took over everything and executed many
he has a syntethoc jaw and saw his mom getting capped and hes closing loops
bruce got info on him asnd is gonna trerminator him as a kid to save hi future love
joe suggests showing him the picutre and he's avoid her and she'd be safe by not meeting him
just like in thre butterfly effect
bruce don't wanna and they fight
then goons come in and bruce wacks em and they ecsape
joe gets on a hovercycle and drives away
he gets away by a farm and the chick there pulls a gun on him but hes in the cornfriend and she dont see who it is
she iced several hobos and i think the laws on murder are different in that near future
like with the unborn in canada and korrea
blue kid has failed city boss too many times and he busts kid's hand with a hammer
imagine if he did that to his parts?
at night he comes up to her and she shoots but f's up and falls
joe falls and barfs and is having withdrawl from not getting his drugs
her kid helps him
she helps jow and bruce is having trouble remembering his woman
later she wants joe off but he dont wanna go
he has info on a page he got from bruce but she recogiznes it and shoots him in the chest with rock salt
rock warriors! sand blast them!!
he tels her the story and that if bruce ices her kid, the rainmaker wont happen, he wont be sent back and he;d be with his woman
but the kid i innocent now
is this a pro life movie?
bruce then caps a kid on a house who was on the list of peope who might be the rainmaker
is that a ref to king harod?
btw despite brucre killing kids, he's not really the good or bad guy as hes doing it for love yet still taking innocent life
and joe isnt a good guy as he's an a55 hole
btw start wars did this 1st with anakin chopping up jedi kids to save padme in ep 03
so mom tells kid to be carefil of joe and kid is kind and helpful
but kid spends time with joe and is quite smart
kid wants to stop bad things from happening
alaso mom wasnt kids real mom and just looks after him
kids real mom got iced and che wasnt strong enuff to save her
mom reveals to joe shes actually kidds real mom who let her sister on da farm raise him and kid thought she was his mom
double retcon
like psycho 2 and 3
later the kid goes mental and his psychic powers activate and she hides in a safe in the closet
so its like akira?
who was this kids dad?
prosesser x?!
so later kid sez sorry and after dat a man coms by moms farm looking for joe and bruce
kid helps joe escape and hide in tunnels his grandpa made
joe reveals his mom sold him to a gang or something and he escaped on a train but didnt save her as a guy gave him a gun
oh and the film is set in 2044, around the time of rthe 3rd robotech war
and is written and directed by the guy who made star wars 08
then joe b0nes mom and shes revealed to be psychic
she sez when she 1st saw kid after leaving him, he lood at her bad and she abandoned him
but as long as she's alive, he's gonna be looked after
then guy who came by b4 has mom at gunpoint and kid sees
guy points gun at kid, he falls down da stairs and mom gets joe out as kids powers blow the place
oh and bruce got joes memory and saw that kid is the rainmaker
mom sez if she can raise him right and he can conrtrol it, he can be good
also its implied he blew away her sister
joe comforts kid who's coated in the blood of the guy he used his powes on, implying he blew him apart
also now the gang knows where joe is
a kid bluey brings in bruice to city bosses place and bruce gets free and wastes everyone
bad a55
hes like the terminator
years of experience made him superior
blue kid survives somehow and sees the map of the farm
bruce faces joe over if the kid should live and kid blue comes in on a hoverbike
joe shoots the ground to make dust and caps kid blue as he gos by cuz hes a j-rk off
mom drives kid but bruse shoots at em so kid uses his powers to flip the truck
they get out and run to the corn and bruce is after em
mom falls and tells kid to run but bruce gets kid in the face
is just a cut on the cheek
kid uses his powers to go dbz ki power up and lift bruce
mom tells kid she loves him and he calms enuff to stop his floating
she sends kid to the fiends and bruce is gonna ice her standing in front of his path
joe sees the possible future where bruce kills her and kid becomes the rainmakler outta revenge
a circle of hate
so joe ends the circle
and blows a hole in his chest
bruce unexists and kid and mom survuive
that was powerful
i'm kinda choaked up and teary eyed
ultimate love
the end
that was grand
i can see why they got rian johnson to do star wars
yeah evryone hatws the new movies but this was good
its more about the people than the sci fi time travel
i can see his becoming a classic like starship tropers or total recall
its got good themes of love and sacrifice
sorta like a lon chaney film
theres not really a good or bad guy
just sides fighting for what they see as right
sorta like robotech
i liked this
and that ending
nowadays films try to have sequels or always have positive endings
this was its own thing and does it well
plus all the little things that come into effect later
like watching out for little spiders as the kid is kittle but deadly
for looper 2 i want the crimelords to have regained control and are taking out anyone who gets in their way. the kid from the 1st movie is now a teen and has gained more control over his powers. His jaw was damaged and had to be replaced so now he's got a metal jaw and he can use his esp powers to block gunfire and bust through people like spears. he decides to take on the criminals after his friend is turned inside out and left on the sidewalk after crossing the crimelords. also its a 16 bit action game on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as the kid and use ur powers to bust through guys with a shield button and a spear button and a jump buton and you fight cyberized guys and people who are mutated with animal dna to become furries.
looper
this is my review on looper from the 2010s
its got joseph gordon levuitt from that live action g i joe movie and brice willis from dire hard
so it starts with joe in a field learning the evil language of french
a guy pops into his area and he caps him
he sez in 030 years there is time travel thats banned and its used by crooks
as law breakers are expected to follow the law
in the future its impossible to get rid of a body so they send em to the past to get whacked
hes a time hitman, a looper
the body has silver on it that he exchanges for cash
so the future is cr-ppy and slummy but not as bad as violence jack
he gives his homie a lift as his hover bike like in robotech wont start
also theres psychics now that can make small things float
jow goes to a bar or str-p joint or w/e and has a gf
also they are called loopers cuz if they are alive in 30 years, they get rid of their future self and evidence and send em back with a bunch of gold to get whacked
then i think joe does drugs as the film egts all f'd
next day he wacks another guy and more guys loops get closed(self iced)
btw in x men the 90s cartoon cable sez "when da gov made time trravel illegal, they also kept a few time machines"
reminds me of that
later its night and this guy he nows comes to him for help
he was sent a guy to ice but couldnt cuz he was singing a tune he liked and he knew it was him
theres a powerful new force in the future
the rainmaker
he's super deadly and is closing all the loops
joe lets guy stay in his floor as the forces come for guy
so jow is takes to this place and is told their guns are called blunderbuss's cuz you cant hit anything after 15 years but cant miss less than that\
oh and he seez the boss of the city
is that the guy from dumb and dumber?!
turns out curty bosss saved joe after joe outed their operation and gave him a chance to work for him instead of icing him
like kenichi from violence jack
and sez he can choose between giving up half his stash of silver or his guy who needs him
and if his future self is around in our time it could f things up
city boss wants joe to avoid soviet france cuz hes from the future
he gives up his guy and future guy starts losing fingers and gets words carved in his arm as past scars
he goes to where the words told him to go and they ice him
oh and his legs come off too
they just unexist
his nose too
they mutilated his past self so they would get his future self there
won't that f up the time line?
then again, just going back should f it up
imagine if they were b0ning him and made his future self recall it?
then joe goes to ice another guy but the futrue is late
then bruce willis comes back
he blocks the shot with the gold on his back and throws a gold brick at him to0 stop more shots
then slugs him out and gets away
btw city boss sez "people r like spiders, the little ones you gotta watch out for"
that will come back later
at joes home the guy who came for other guy (he's called blue kid like from violence jack) attacks but joe escapes
then we see the unaltered timeline where joe killed bruce, and lived his life
he went to soviet china and did drugs
then got into crime and turned into bruce willis
he met a black woman and they fell in love
wait, she's asian
i misremembered it
after 30 years the rainmaker attacks and ices his woman
even though the whole point of loopers is that its impossible to get away with killing someone
he busts outta his cuffs and takes out the peoprle about to send him back and goies back uncuffed and the movie retutns to its thing
at night bruce saves joe
i think
i'm not sure as its dark and i;m talking to my gf and editing something
later its day and they meet at a diner
they talk about time and life and possible futures
timelines and burces memories become clear or cloudy the morte of less likley they become and he rememberes what joe does after he does it
so what if joe gets into being b0ned by guys to turn brue gay?
bruce tells joe abotu how the woman who saves him is really good and she bit it after she made a noise when the rainmakers goons came for bruce and one capped her on reflex
in 6 months rainmaker took over everything and executed many
he has a syntethoc jaw and saw his mom getting capped and hes closing loops
bruce got info on him asnd is gonna trerminator him as a kid to save hi future love
joe suggests showing him the picutre and he's avoid her and she'd be safe by not meeting him
just like in thre butterfly effect
bruce don't wanna and they fight
then goons come in and bruce wacks em and they ecsape
joe gets on a hovercycle and drives away
he gets away by a farm and the chick there pulls a gun on him but hes in the cornfriend and she dont see who it is
she iced several hobos and i think the laws on murder are different in that near future
like with the unborn in canada and korrea
blue kid has failed city boss too many times and he busts kid's hand with a hammer
imagine if he did that to his parts?
at night he comes up to her and she shoots but f's up and falls
joe falls and barfs and is having withdrawl from not getting his drugs
her kid helps him
she helps jow and bruce is having trouble remembering his woman
later she wants joe off but he dont wanna go
he has info on a page he got from bruce but she recogiznes it and shoots him in the chest with rock salt
rock warriors! sand blast them!!
he tels her the story and that if bruce ices her kid, the rainmaker wont happen, he wont be sent back and he;d be with his woman
but the kid i innocent now
is this a pro life movie?
bruce then caps a kid on a house who was on the list of peope who might be the rainmaker
is that a ref to king harod?
btw despite brucre killing kids, he's not really the good or bad guy as hes doing it for love yet still taking innocent life
and joe isnt a good guy as he's an a55 hole
btw start wars did this 1st with anakin chopping up jedi kids to save padme in ep 03
so mom tells kid to be carefil of joe and kid is kind and helpful
but kid spends time with joe and is quite smart
kid wants to stop bad things from happening
alaso mom wasnt kids real mom and just looks after him
kids real mom got iced and che wasnt strong enuff to save her
mom reveals to joe shes actually kidds real mom who let her sister on da farm raise him and kid thought she was his mom
double retcon
like psycho 2 and 3
later the kid goes mental and his psychic powers activate and she hides in a safe in the closet
so its like akira?
who was this kids dad?
prosesser x?!
so later kid sez sorry and after dat a man coms by moms farm looking for joe and bruce
kid helps joe escape and hide in tunnels his grandpa made
joe reveals his mom sold him to a gang or something and he escaped on a train but didnt save her as a guy gave him a gun
oh and the film is set in 2044, around the time of rthe 3rd robotech war
and is written and directed by the guy who made star wars 08
then joe b0nes mom and shes revealed to be psychic
she sez when she 1st saw kid after leaving him, he lood at her bad and she abandoned him
but as long as she's alive, he's gonna be looked after
then guy who came by b4 has mom at gunpoint and kid sees
guy points gun at kid, he falls down da stairs and mom gets joe out as kids powers blow the place
oh and bruce got joes memory and saw that kid is the rainmaker
mom sez if she can raise him right and he can conrtrol it, he can be good
also its implied he blew away her sister
joe comforts kid who's coated in the blood of the guy he used his powes on, implying he blew him apart
also now the gang knows where joe is
a kid bluey brings in bruice to city bosses place and bruce gets free and wastes everyone
bad a55
hes like the terminator
years of experience made him superior
blue kid survives somehow and sees the map of the farm
bruce faces joe over if the kid should live and kid blue comes in on a hoverbike
joe shoots the ground to make dust and caps kid blue as he gos by cuz hes a j-rk off
mom drives kid but bruse shoots at em so kid uses his powers to flip the truck
they get out and run to the corn and bruce is after em
mom falls and tells kid to run but bruce gets kid in the face
is just a cut on the cheek
kid uses his powers to go dbz ki power up and lift bruce
mom tells kid she loves him and he calms enuff to stop his floating
she sends kid to the fiends and bruce is gonna ice her standing in front of his path
joe sees the possible future where bruce kills her and kid becomes the rainmakler outta revenge
a circle of hate
so joe ends the circle
and blows a hole in his chest
bruce unexists and kid and mom survuive
that was powerful
i'm kinda choaked up and teary eyed
ultimate love
the end
that was grand
i can see why they got rian johnson to do star wars
yeah evryone hatws the new movies but this was good
its more about the people than the sci fi time travel
i can see his becoming a classic like starship tropers or total recall
its got good themes of love and sacrifice
sorta like a lon chaney film
theres not really a good or bad guy
just sides fighting for what they see as right
sorta like robotech
i liked this
and that ending
nowadays films try to have sequels or always have positive endings
this was its own thing and does it well
plus all the little things that come into effect later
like watching out for little spiders as the kid is kittle but deadly
for looper 2 i want the crimelords to have regained control and are taking out anyone who gets in their way. the kid from the 1st movie is now a teen and has gained more control over his powers. His jaw was damaged and had to be replaced so now he's got a metal jaw and he can use his esp powers to block gunfire and bust through people like spears. he decides to take on the criminals after his friend is turned inside out and left on the sidewalk after crossing the crimelords. also its a 16 bit action game on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as the kid and use ur powers to bust through guys with a shield button and a spear button and a jump buton and you fight cyberized guys and people who are mutated with animal dna to become furries.
Thursday, May 16, 2019
The Thaw Review
Note: I spell better than globval warming exists
The Thaw
This is my review on the thaw from 2-009
Its got Val Kilmer, aaron ashmore(brother of the guy from x men and animorphs) and Kyle Schmid from Vrius, I was a 6th grade alian, degrassi next gen and thre pacifier
also its got garry chalk from beast wars and freddy vs jason as a radio voice
so it startz with val talking to da camera about sacrifice
ritual sacrifce 8 stars of monsters to ritual summon dark master zork in attack mode!
then it shows a chick with a head hole with a parasite in it
it gows out but deeper in her head
then garry optimus primal chalk bashes lies about global arming
note; with the media promoting it, omnly 46% of people believe in it
but 48% of people believe in creationism, even with the media bashing it and promoting evolution
so creationism is literally more believable than global warming
as 48 is more than 46
plus when you factor in the media propaganda, that makes it more so
so then val and homies watch a polar bear and 1 guy caps it
it runs at em but stops offscreen
next time use a machine gun
metal slug guy; heavy machine gun!
turns out it was a dart gun and they study the bear
its doing cr-ppy
their indian guide shows them a mammoth frozen in da ice
then val's video is shown to college kids to turn em commie
3 of em get to go up to alaska to help his cr-p
then val calls his teen daughter evil lynn i mean evelyn and she'ds all b--chy over some cr-p he did years ago
he invites her up to the frozen wastelands of soviet alaska
later this nerd talks to a black chopper pilot
black guy in a horror movie?
well thats the end of him!
val calls black guy and tells him to pick someone up
then this blonde chats to val in da tent over the frozen mammoth about telling people to stay away
then evil lynn comes by and black guy tells her that val told her to stay away
she gets in the choppa anyway and they go up
aaron from animorphs talks to her on the trip about her dad val doing eco attacks against pipelines
back at camp val shoots his dog
good
their kind dont belong on our blue and pure world
oh and blonde barfs
i think they got aids
so on the chopper trip aaron talks with a guy over how much time they have to save the world
listen to me or everyone dies
good sign of a hero
so thry get 2 da base and its off
no power or heat
use ur ki
also it stinks
So animorphs has issues with his dad and wants to go on eco gee haad
so evie and animprphs find a dead polar bearthat stunk up the place as the power returns
aimorphs takes a photo of black guy posing with the bear and something bites black guys arm
then val berrys his group in the dirt of alaska
blonde answers the radio while hes out and its evie
she tells blonde the students are at the base and blonde puts val on
he tells her to stay at da base
oh and black guy heard a gunshort b4 val berried his homies
so when val chacks on blonce she caps him with a shotgun and then the last guy left
thasts for batman forever!!
so at night the asian girl and 6th gade alian guy b0ne but thers a bug there and it freaks him out
hes racist against bugs
there are good bugs
like spiders and dragonflies and footlong centipedes
so the next day black guy is scratching his bite and its got a wound on it
thi is turning into naked and afraid
aka; dante's inferno gx
as its a new generation of naked people suffering
so then they find blonde at the camp in a vehicle or something and she's all f'd
evie calls her dad but hes not fully dead as he's still moving
btw howard hughs i mean howie mandell got ocd after gettign a bug bite and parasitres and it f'd him out
maybe that 6th grade alien guy has it too?
what caused his phobia?
probably had a foot long centipede crawl up his a55
oh and the chopper was f'd and black guy needs a few hours to fix it
so blonde starts barfing blood and bites it
asian tries mouth to mouth but it dont work.
wait i think its evie
6th grade alien has them seal the room blonde bit it in with duct tape
evie and animprogs go off on a speeder bike from mega man x or w/e to the camp site of val
at camp they find a frozen mammoth in a ice with bug eggs on it and moving parasites
animprphs sez a wood frog can stay frozen over a winter but this is 20 000 years old
so doesnt that mean its probably not 20 000?
maybe like after noah's flood?
evie finds val berried in dirt and tries digging him up but animprphs stops her
she still hates him cuz she's a b--chy teen
later 6th grade alien pees and has issues
he thinks he got something from his gf he was b0ning
but shes f'd too
so animporhs and evie return and animpoprhs tells black guy blonde capped everyone
6th grade alien calls for help
evie checks blonde and she's all rotted with eggs on her body
burn her!!
then a bug comes outaa her eye
they take her to da lab and she checks the bear and its got eggs too
animporhs wonders how long they stay as larva
sounds like he's gonna use them for his own gain like that guy in mega man x and the sigma virus
they figure out the eggs have infected the asian and black guy
evie wants to contact disease control
6th grade alian guy caps the radio and sez hes in charge
this is seeming a lot like john carpenters the thing
so asian teen is all f'd and barfs
this is turning into naked and afraid
they put her in a room and check her and shes got eggs coming outta her gut
then in da polar bar wroom is a swarm of bugs
so black guy cuts into his arm and its all rotted
so he makes a left arm offering
i missed a bit as i was testing my cloudian deck vs my D HERO Deck but someone goes in the bear room with full body covering and the parasites come for her
its evie and she gets out and takes off her clothes to gte the bugs off
1 almost goes in a cut on her but alimorphs pulls it out
6th grade alien makes her take it all off to do a body check
we dont see her nips
so later they talk about what could happen if the buigs get off the island
its on an ilsanad?!
also, would'nt global warming be good as it would flood the area and kill the bugs??
then a bug is out with em
they chack on the bodies and they are totally covered in bugs like oogie boogie in nightmare before christmas
then they see asian gurl struggling with parasitrs in her room from the vents and she's banging on the door to get out
he caps her through the glass
this is a lot like the scene in the thing where they had to wonder if macready was one of em when he was outsode and wanted in
oh and the parasites are in black guys arm stump
btw despite the room havign parasites in i swarming around a few seconds ago, after 6th grade alien capped her they are gone
black guy goes into the room with aisan teen to die
btw were already 90 mins in with adds
this went by qquick
so evie knows 6th grade alien has bugs on him and hes gonna cap her
but val kilmer comes back from h-ll and caps him
btw the bugs were in his b0nar
so they decide to torch the place but as they spread the gasoline evie realizes val knew of the bugs
she watches a video of val infecting hmself with a parasite and using his body as a sacrifice to get people to do something about global warming
he did it to cause a disaster and kill a lotta people to get people motivated to fight glbal warming
what is this!? the watchmen!?
this seems like something Sigma would do in mega man x
so the new chopper comes and val gets on it
i think he locked em in there but they easily get out and animprohs gets on the leg of the chopper
he falls and val sez they are infected and chopper gotta leave em
evie gets a rifle and takes out the chopper like its contra
it blows and she checks on animporhs who bites it
he tells her to get her dads notes out and this is the beginning
guess he wasn't a virgin
oh and the base burns from the chopper blowing
just like in the thing from the 80s
so she gets in a chopper and i dont think she knows how to fly it as it just cuts away to more choppers coming and her still there
then she gives a speech about how we need to change to stop doing bad cr-p and something abou val kilmers sacrifice
oh and the medics find and save her
then this fisher is listening to optimuis primal bashing evie's dad and the idea she saved the world on the radio
fishermans dad i mean dog eats a birg that had the parasite and they go back to the city
the end
that was pretty good
it had some good parts and themes
good effects
good pacing
good body horror
decent acting and good use of music
this got cr-ppy reviews but i thoguht it was ok
its not as epic as the thing but its not awful
yeah it rips off john carpenter and mega man x but those were good
streets of rage ripped off final fight and it was good
i thoguht it was good
and i'm not even into global warming
but i watch time travel movies and dont whine about how unscientiffic they are
unless they totaly screw up the time travel like the yugioh 3d bonds beyond time movie
for the thaw 2 i want it to be about an outbreak at the city where the guy and his dog went to. the people fight to survive but there are a few holy people who are immune. turns out, the bugs are aliens, or rather space daemons, and have come from h-ll in space to take out the human race. and the righteous people who don't swear or drink or use drugs or b0ne are immune. also he parasites control the people and make them turn into grotesque abominations of flesh and muscle and exoskeleton parts. and its up the the righteous to fight em with holy ki attacks. its also a 16 but beat em up on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as up to 4 rightous people and fight the infected.
The Thaw
This is my review on the thaw from 2-009
Its got Val Kilmer, aaron ashmore(brother of the guy from x men and animorphs) and Kyle Schmid from Vrius, I was a 6th grade alian, degrassi next gen and thre pacifier
also its got garry chalk from beast wars and freddy vs jason as a radio voice
so it startz with val talking to da camera about sacrifice
ritual sacrifce 8 stars of monsters to ritual summon dark master zork in attack mode!
then it shows a chick with a head hole with a parasite in it
it gows out but deeper in her head
then garry optimus primal chalk bashes lies about global arming
note; with the media promoting it, omnly 46% of people believe in it
but 48% of people believe in creationism, even with the media bashing it and promoting evolution
so creationism is literally more believable than global warming
as 48 is more than 46
plus when you factor in the media propaganda, that makes it more so
so then val and homies watch a polar bear and 1 guy caps it
it runs at em but stops offscreen
next time use a machine gun
metal slug guy; heavy machine gun!
turns out it was a dart gun and they study the bear
its doing cr-ppy
their indian guide shows them a mammoth frozen in da ice
then val's video is shown to college kids to turn em commie
3 of em get to go up to alaska to help his cr-p
then val calls his teen daughter evil lynn i mean evelyn and she'ds all b--chy over some cr-p he did years ago
he invites her up to the frozen wastelands of soviet alaska
later this nerd talks to a black chopper pilot
black guy in a horror movie?
well thats the end of him!
val calls black guy and tells him to pick someone up
then this blonde chats to val in da tent over the frozen mammoth about telling people to stay away
then evil lynn comes by and black guy tells her that val told her to stay away
she gets in the choppa anyway and they go up
aaron from animorphs talks to her on the trip about her dad val doing eco attacks against pipelines
back at camp val shoots his dog
good
their kind dont belong on our blue and pure world
oh and blonde barfs
i think they got aids
so on the chopper trip aaron talks with a guy over how much time they have to save the world
listen to me or everyone dies
good sign of a hero
so thry get 2 da base and its off
no power or heat
use ur ki
also it stinks
So animorphs has issues with his dad and wants to go on eco gee haad
so evie and animprphs find a dead polar bearthat stunk up the place as the power returns
aimorphs takes a photo of black guy posing with the bear and something bites black guys arm
then val berrys his group in the dirt of alaska
blonde answers the radio while hes out and its evie
she tells blonde the students are at the base and blonde puts val on
he tells her to stay at da base
oh and black guy heard a gunshort b4 val berried his homies
so when val chacks on blonce she caps him with a shotgun and then the last guy left
thasts for batman forever!!
so at night the asian girl and 6th gade alian guy b0ne but thers a bug there and it freaks him out
hes racist against bugs
there are good bugs
like spiders and dragonflies and footlong centipedes
so the next day black guy is scratching his bite and its got a wound on it
thi is turning into naked and afraid
aka; dante's inferno gx
as its a new generation of naked people suffering
so then they find blonde at the camp in a vehicle or something and she's all f'd
evie calls her dad but hes not fully dead as he's still moving
btw howard hughs i mean howie mandell got ocd after gettign a bug bite and parasitres and it f'd him out
maybe that 6th grade alien guy has it too?
what caused his phobia?
probably had a foot long centipede crawl up his a55
oh and the chopper was f'd and black guy needs a few hours to fix it
so blonde starts barfing blood and bites it
asian tries mouth to mouth but it dont work.
wait i think its evie
6th grade alien has them seal the room blonde bit it in with duct tape
evie and animprogs go off on a speeder bike from mega man x or w/e to the camp site of val
at camp they find a frozen mammoth in a ice with bug eggs on it and moving parasites
animprphs sez a wood frog can stay frozen over a winter but this is 20 000 years old
so doesnt that mean its probably not 20 000?
maybe like after noah's flood?
evie finds val berried in dirt and tries digging him up but animprphs stops her
she still hates him cuz she's a b--chy teen
later 6th grade alien pees and has issues
he thinks he got something from his gf he was b0ning
but shes f'd too
so animporhs and evie return and animpoprhs tells black guy blonde capped everyone
6th grade alien calls for help
evie checks blonde and she's all rotted with eggs on her body
burn her!!
then a bug comes outaa her eye
they take her to da lab and she checks the bear and its got eggs too
animporhs wonders how long they stay as larva
sounds like he's gonna use them for his own gain like that guy in mega man x and the sigma virus
they figure out the eggs have infected the asian and black guy
evie wants to contact disease control
6th grade alian guy caps the radio and sez hes in charge
this is seeming a lot like john carpenters the thing
so asian teen is all f'd and barfs
this is turning into naked and afraid
they put her in a room and check her and shes got eggs coming outta her gut
then in da polar bar wroom is a swarm of bugs
so black guy cuts into his arm and its all rotted
so he makes a left arm offering
i missed a bit as i was testing my cloudian deck vs my D HERO Deck but someone goes in the bear room with full body covering and the parasites come for her
its evie and she gets out and takes off her clothes to gte the bugs off
1 almost goes in a cut on her but alimorphs pulls it out
6th grade alien makes her take it all off to do a body check
we dont see her nips
so later they talk about what could happen if the buigs get off the island
its on an ilsanad?!
also, would'nt global warming be good as it would flood the area and kill the bugs??
then a bug is out with em
they chack on the bodies and they are totally covered in bugs like oogie boogie in nightmare before christmas
then they see asian gurl struggling with parasitrs in her room from the vents and she's banging on the door to get out
he caps her through the glass
this is a lot like the scene in the thing where they had to wonder if macready was one of em when he was outsode and wanted in
oh and the parasites are in black guys arm stump
btw despite the room havign parasites in i swarming around a few seconds ago, after 6th grade alien capped her they are gone
black guy goes into the room with aisan teen to die
btw were already 90 mins in with adds
this went by qquick
so evie knows 6th grade alien has bugs on him and hes gonna cap her
but val kilmer comes back from h-ll and caps him
btw the bugs were in his b0nar
so they decide to torch the place but as they spread the gasoline evie realizes val knew of the bugs
she watches a video of val infecting hmself with a parasite and using his body as a sacrifice to get people to do something about global warming
he did it to cause a disaster and kill a lotta people to get people motivated to fight glbal warming
what is this!? the watchmen!?
this seems like something Sigma would do in mega man x
so the new chopper comes and val gets on it
i think he locked em in there but they easily get out and animprohs gets on the leg of the chopper
he falls and val sez they are infected and chopper gotta leave em
evie gets a rifle and takes out the chopper like its contra
it blows and she checks on animporhs who bites it
he tells her to get her dads notes out and this is the beginning
guess he wasn't a virgin
oh and the base burns from the chopper blowing
just like in the thing from the 80s
so she gets in a chopper and i dont think she knows how to fly it as it just cuts away to more choppers coming and her still there
then she gives a speech about how we need to change to stop doing bad cr-p and something abou val kilmers sacrifice
oh and the medics find and save her
then this fisher is listening to optimuis primal bashing evie's dad and the idea she saved the world on the radio
fishermans dad i mean dog eats a birg that had the parasite and they go back to the city
the end
that was pretty good
it had some good parts and themes
good effects
good pacing
good body horror
decent acting and good use of music
this got cr-ppy reviews but i thoguht it was ok
its not as epic as the thing but its not awful
yeah it rips off john carpenter and mega man x but those were good
streets of rage ripped off final fight and it was good
i thoguht it was good
and i'm not even into global warming
but i watch time travel movies and dont whine about how unscientiffic they are
unless they totaly screw up the time travel like the yugioh 3d bonds beyond time movie
for the thaw 2 i want it to be about an outbreak at the city where the guy and his dog went to. the people fight to survive but there are a few holy people who are immune. turns out, the bugs are aliens, or rather space daemons, and have come from h-ll in space to take out the human race. and the righteous people who don't swear or drink or use drugs or b0ne are immune. also he parasites control the people and make them turn into grotesque abominations of flesh and muscle and exoskeleton parts. and its up the the righteous to fight em with holy ki attacks. its also a 16 but beat em up on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as up to 4 rightous people and fight the infected.
Sunday, May 12, 2019
Taken Review
note; I spell unfrench, but better than French
taken
this is my review on taken from 2008 or w/e
its got liam neeson and xander Berkley from candy man 01 and jon gries from napoleon dynamite
its written by the Frenchie who did transporter and directed the 5th elemnt
so leem buys a singing thing for his teen daughters birthday
but at the party his ex woman is kind of a b--ch
mom don't want girl to be a singer and has an expensive party and her step dad gives her a big black horse
later his droogs come by for beer and they say he nearly got em iced by skipping out on a mission to go to her birthday lomg ago
then they need him to bodyuguard some pop bimbo for a concert
nexrt day they bring her in and liem asks her for advice on becoming a singer
singer sez dont be 1
is this like with minmei in robotech?
at da concerty his gurl cals and wants lunch with him tomorrow
later some maniac fans get in and 1 guy pulls a knife
liim beats his a55 and saves her
to thank him, she gives him the number of her voice coach
later girl and ex woman lunches with liim to get consent to let her go to soviet france for a vacation with a friend
liam dont like it but the chicks get b---chy and he consents
also ex woman b--ches at him over how he's foolish to think soviet paris is dangerous
back in the 1800s my grandpa's great grandma was at home in slovenia and some frenchie came in and tried b0ning her
her husband killed the frenchie and threw his body outside
later the frenchies found out and killed him
she later married my grandpa's greatgrandpa and tarted the family lineage
plus theres dominique strauss khan, the SVU Pepe le pew@
that guy who tried b0ning maids
so later liem finds out girl is gonna be following u2 around soviet europe and lied to him to get his consent
shouldn't that negate it and mean ahe cant go?
so she goes to paris with her friend and they meet a frenchie
he gets em to share a taxi and they go to the place her friend and her stay
they are alone there as friends cousin's fam is in soviet madrid
he invites em to a party and calls someone aying "2 girls around 18" and their location
also friend wants to b0ne the frenchie
5kank!
liem cals but she's rocking out to bad music with friend and she calls him back
she tels him the cousins are in spain
then some guys come in and catch friend
she sees and liem tels her to hide as he sets up recording cr-p
he tels her to tell him what she sees when they catch her and she told him of frenchie
she tells their stats as they catch her and he ells em over da phone if they let his girl go he wont kill em
guy sez good luck and hangs up
leim goes to ex woman and tells him he knows her new man had shell companies and bad deals with soviets
huh, the chick who played chrisrtie in DOA Dead Or Alive is the singer in here
so liems droog scans da tape and finds the guys catch female travewlers and sell em as secks slaves
they have 96 hours to save her
\
this is why i stay in the 1st world
so liem goes to soviet france to save his girl
the cheetahmen ran off and now the cheetahmen
he listens to the tape over and over
at the place they gor grabbed he crawls around the outer wal and looks around for clues
he trax do3wn frenchie and atacks him as he's about to get into a cab with a blonde
but a bystander tries to stop him so he kicks the guys a55 and drives after frencies
frenchie jumps off a bridge and onto a truck but on the road another truck kills him
one less problem without him!
a high rank frenchie confronts loin over his damage and ilim sez he'd tear down the eifle tower to save his girl
good
if i had to choose between some 3rd world continent getting nuked or my gf getting iced, i'd let the 3rd world get nuked
later liem asks a guy to translate albanian to english and talks to a h00ker and her p-mp hassles him
heis grabbed by p-mp but puts a tracker on him
this wouldn't happen if we sided with zee kaisesr
he goes to car and translarot tells him what they ar saying
he tells trnaslator to get out and gets an albanian english dicktionary
btw, a white adult straight american male being cool and tough and right and awesome is a breath of fresh air from modern day cr-p
nowadays he'd be the bad guy
so liem goes to this slum and theres junkies or 5kanks there and he sees his girls jacket
the girl with i dot knoew english and liemn beats a guy guy who came at him
then more guys
is this double dragon?
bimmy and jimmy gotta save the chick who was captured
maybe final fight and liem is mike haggar
lien gets out and drives away, knockin over a garbage can on fire, which spreads fire, then blows
theres a car chase and crash and liem is getting the junkie w/o english out
i this like violence jack slumking where kenichi has to save his gf?
in da car chase, 1 guy gets is head taen off by crashing into a bulldozer blade
he aint gonna be in taken 2
or maybe he'd be a brain in a jar like in streets or rage 3
liim hot wires a car and goes somewhere to chat with a guy who sez his wife is in charge of him
women are the more manly frenchies
also he gives medical care to the no english grl
then he goes to meet high rank in da park but only chats by phone
they track his signal and want him brought in
turns out, he was talking in 1 phone to another phone next to a 3rd phone so threy went to the wrong place when they tracked him
dont trust da gov
good advice
later no english wakes up and liem sez shes being filled with medication to counter her drugs
she knows some englidh and sez she got jacket from daughtewr at a party
he goes to where she had party and acts like a gov agent
he meets with the higher ups and sez he's here to negotiate the rate and the guy they dealed with b4 was moved
he tell em off about their being bad guys who take advantage of the counry that took em in
nowadays he'd be made to be the bad guy for dat
he gives em a paper to translate and the guy sez good luck
from this liem recognizes him and sez he talked to him b4
then he fights/wastes em
he looiks for girl but finds friend
shes bit it from drugs
then he tortures the guy with electric shocks to get info
cook him and feed him to his droogs
he sez he sold liims daughter for a lot of cash cuz she was A VIrgin
that money is doing em a lot of good now
in h-ll!!
liem then cooks th guy by turning the power on and leaving
good
he won't be going woody allen on any little girls now
later liem goes to see high rank guy at his home with his wife and kids
turns out high rank guy is involved in it and he pulls a gun on him
but liem has the bullets somehow and liem caps high rank's woman in the arm
then threatens to waste em both if he lets his kid bite it
nowaday's he'd be seen as the bad guy for this
so after getting the info he slugs out high rank frenchie and goes to the place with head bad guy
he gets in by shoving the frenchie at the door into an elevator and beating him dead
then going onto other floors and taking out more guys
he brings booze to a buyer of girls and tey bring in his girl in a slave outfit
liem pulls a gun on buyer and makes him buy her
they go out to get her but liim is knocked out from behind
btw had she not been a virgin, she'd be f'd dead and drugged up by now
good thing she's not a 5kank like her iced friend
liem sez hes her dad and the head bad guy sez hes a dad too but cares more for business
he leaves and his men try to strangle liam but he breaks out of his bondage and kills em
he then caps head bad guy a few times and gets the info where his girl is b4 finishing him
so liem goes after em in a car and drives off abridge onto their boat
so he takes everyone out and fnds the bad guy holding his girl at knifepoint.
liam takes him out david vs goliath style (head shot) and he brings her home.
then he brings his girl to meet th4e singer he saved at the start
the end
that was cool
bad a55 fights and manliness
i liked hoew the mom and teen were shown to know less than the dad and he fixes things
its like the opposite of modern things
its got an easy to follow plot
and the hero isnt afraid to ice people
its like a stalone or arnold movie
back when heroes had chutzpa
plus it warns of the dangers of going to bad countries
my cousins go to mexico sometimes
yeah most of the time its safe
but every now and then, someone gets it
like russian roulette
which is safe 5/6x
for taken 2 I want it to be a few years later and she's a popular singer but a demented fan comes after her. Turns out, her songs are really lusty and she dresses like a p0rn0 star in music videos and theres a bunch of people so enthralled by her looks, they cant help themselves. And its up to liam to take em on and fight em off at concerts as her bodyguard. also its a 16 bit beat em up on snes, sega genesis and atari jaguar with 1 layer as liem and 1 as his homie.
taken
this is my review on taken from 2008 or w/e
its got liam neeson and xander Berkley from candy man 01 and jon gries from napoleon dynamite
its written by the Frenchie who did transporter and directed the 5th elemnt
so leem buys a singing thing for his teen daughters birthday
but at the party his ex woman is kind of a b--ch
mom don't want girl to be a singer and has an expensive party and her step dad gives her a big black horse
later his droogs come by for beer and they say he nearly got em iced by skipping out on a mission to go to her birthday lomg ago
then they need him to bodyuguard some pop bimbo for a concert
nexrt day they bring her in and liem asks her for advice on becoming a singer
singer sez dont be 1
is this like with minmei in robotech?
at da concerty his gurl cals and wants lunch with him tomorrow
later some maniac fans get in and 1 guy pulls a knife
liim beats his a55 and saves her
to thank him, she gives him the number of her voice coach
later girl and ex woman lunches with liim to get consent to let her go to soviet france for a vacation with a friend
liam dont like it but the chicks get b---chy and he consents
also ex woman b--ches at him over how he's foolish to think soviet paris is dangerous
back in the 1800s my grandpa's great grandma was at home in slovenia and some frenchie came in and tried b0ning her
her husband killed the frenchie and threw his body outside
later the frenchies found out and killed him
she later married my grandpa's greatgrandpa and tarted the family lineage
plus theres dominique strauss khan, the SVU Pepe le pew@
that guy who tried b0ning maids
so later liem finds out girl is gonna be following u2 around soviet europe and lied to him to get his consent
shouldn't that negate it and mean ahe cant go?
so she goes to paris with her friend and they meet a frenchie
he gets em to share a taxi and they go to the place her friend and her stay
they are alone there as friends cousin's fam is in soviet madrid
he invites em to a party and calls someone aying "2 girls around 18" and their location
also friend wants to b0ne the frenchie
5kank!
liem cals but she's rocking out to bad music with friend and she calls him back
she tels him the cousins are in spain
then some guys come in and catch friend
she sees and liem tels her to hide as he sets up recording cr-p
he tels her to tell him what she sees when they catch her and she told him of frenchie
she tells their stats as they catch her and he ells em over da phone if they let his girl go he wont kill em
guy sez good luck and hangs up
leim goes to ex woman and tells him he knows her new man had shell companies and bad deals with soviets
huh, the chick who played chrisrtie in DOA Dead Or Alive is the singer in here
so liems droog scans da tape and finds the guys catch female travewlers and sell em as secks slaves
they have 96 hours to save her
\
this is why i stay in the 1st world
so liem goes to soviet france to save his girl
the cheetahmen ran off and now the cheetahmen
he listens to the tape over and over
at the place they gor grabbed he crawls around the outer wal and looks around for clues
he trax do3wn frenchie and atacks him as he's about to get into a cab with a blonde
but a bystander tries to stop him so he kicks the guys a55 and drives after frencies
frenchie jumps off a bridge and onto a truck but on the road another truck kills him
one less problem without him!
a high rank frenchie confronts loin over his damage and ilim sez he'd tear down the eifle tower to save his girl
good
if i had to choose between some 3rd world continent getting nuked or my gf getting iced, i'd let the 3rd world get nuked
later liem asks a guy to translate albanian to english and talks to a h00ker and her p-mp hassles him
heis grabbed by p-mp but puts a tracker on him
this wouldn't happen if we sided with zee kaisesr
he goes to car and translarot tells him what they ar saying
he tells trnaslator to get out and gets an albanian english dicktionary
btw, a white adult straight american male being cool and tough and right and awesome is a breath of fresh air from modern day cr-p
nowadays he'd be the bad guy
so liem goes to this slum and theres junkies or 5kanks there and he sees his girls jacket
the girl with i dot knoew english and liemn beats a guy guy who came at him
then more guys
is this double dragon?
bimmy and jimmy gotta save the chick who was captured
maybe final fight and liem is mike haggar
lien gets out and drives away, knockin over a garbage can on fire, which spreads fire, then blows
theres a car chase and crash and liem is getting the junkie w/o english out
i this like violence jack slumking where kenichi has to save his gf?
in da car chase, 1 guy gets is head taen off by crashing into a bulldozer blade
he aint gonna be in taken 2
or maybe he'd be a brain in a jar like in streets or rage 3
liim hot wires a car and goes somewhere to chat with a guy who sez his wife is in charge of him
women are the more manly frenchies
also he gives medical care to the no english grl
then he goes to meet high rank in da park but only chats by phone
they track his signal and want him brought in
turns out, he was talking in 1 phone to another phone next to a 3rd phone so threy went to the wrong place when they tracked him
dont trust da gov
good advice
later no english wakes up and liem sez shes being filled with medication to counter her drugs
she knows some englidh and sez she got jacket from daughtewr at a party
he goes to where she had party and acts like a gov agent
he meets with the higher ups and sez he's here to negotiate the rate and the guy they dealed with b4 was moved
he tell em off about their being bad guys who take advantage of the counry that took em in
nowadays he'd be made to be the bad guy for dat
he gives em a paper to translate and the guy sez good luck
from this liem recognizes him and sez he talked to him b4
then he fights/wastes em
he looiks for girl but finds friend
shes bit it from drugs
then he tortures the guy with electric shocks to get info
cook him and feed him to his droogs
he sez he sold liims daughter for a lot of cash cuz she was A VIrgin
that money is doing em a lot of good now
in h-ll!!
liem then cooks th guy by turning the power on and leaving
good
he won't be going woody allen on any little girls now
later liem goes to see high rank guy at his home with his wife and kids
turns out high rank guy is involved in it and he pulls a gun on him
but liem has the bullets somehow and liem caps high rank's woman in the arm
then threatens to waste em both if he lets his kid bite it
nowaday's he'd be seen as the bad guy for this
so after getting the info he slugs out high rank frenchie and goes to the place with head bad guy
he gets in by shoving the frenchie at the door into an elevator and beating him dead
then going onto other floors and taking out more guys
he brings booze to a buyer of girls and tey bring in his girl in a slave outfit
liem pulls a gun on buyer and makes him buy her
they go out to get her but liim is knocked out from behind
btw had she not been a virgin, she'd be f'd dead and drugged up by now
good thing she's not a 5kank like her iced friend
liem sez hes her dad and the head bad guy sez hes a dad too but cares more for business
he leaves and his men try to strangle liam but he breaks out of his bondage and kills em
he then caps head bad guy a few times and gets the info where his girl is b4 finishing him
so liem goes after em in a car and drives off abridge onto their boat
so he takes everyone out and fnds the bad guy holding his girl at knifepoint.
liam takes him out david vs goliath style (head shot) and he brings her home.
then he brings his girl to meet th4e singer he saved at the start
the end
that was cool
bad a55 fights and manliness
i liked hoew the mom and teen were shown to know less than the dad and he fixes things
its like the opposite of modern things
its got an easy to follow plot
and the hero isnt afraid to ice people
its like a stalone or arnold movie
back when heroes had chutzpa
plus it warns of the dangers of going to bad countries
my cousins go to mexico sometimes
yeah most of the time its safe
but every now and then, someone gets it
like russian roulette
which is safe 5/6x
for taken 2 I want it to be a few years later and she's a popular singer but a demented fan comes after her. Turns out, her songs are really lusty and she dresses like a p0rn0 star in music videos and theres a bunch of people so enthralled by her looks, they cant help themselves. And its up to liam to take em on and fight em off at concerts as her bodyguard. also its a 16 bit beat em up on snes, sega genesis and atari jaguar with 1 layer as liem and 1 as his homie.
Monday, May 6, 2019
Mission Impossible Review
note; I never aw any of these movoies before plus i'm not a fan of tom cruoise so imma spell vad
mission impossible
this is my review on mission impossible from 1996
its baased on a 60s show I never watched
just like wild wild west
and was made into a big budget 90s movie with a big star and more action
just like wild wild west
and people complain how all movies nowadays are remakes of tv shows
cant wait for dat big budget Robotech movie
hope they don't screw it up
ewww its widescreen
hald da screen is black bars
so it starts in the soviet union where a guy watches video of some soviets being soviets
1 guy sez the name of a guy and they knock him out with poison vodka
turns out the soviet guy was tom cruise in a mask and he saves a drugged out girl in the room
then an opening with a fuse burning and high rapid edits
its by brian de palma and has jon Voight and ving rhames and vanessa redgrave
music by danny elfman?
make up by rob bottin?
but he was the thing!
so Voight gets a mesasage saying this thing of code names and a thing of real names are in danger
the code names are jacked but its useless w/o the real names list
and they gotta get it back
vpoight tells his teem including tom crooz about da mission and assigns jobs
if they don't get it back then their agents will get iced
also tom gets red/green gum that if u mush the colors together it blows
So they go to a dinner party and try to go after a confederate sounding governor
they have a guy chat with him and match his voice or fingerprint or something
wait
I think the confederate is one of them in disguise
they put glasses with a camera in em in a forbidden area to watch him use a computer
tom and a chick go to the roof to fake making out
1 tech guy on top of an elevator loses control of the elevator and gets skewered by the ceiling spikes like in mega man when it goes up
he aint gonna be in mission impossible 2
so Voight goes out but is tailed
he wants to end the mission but tom goes on
I never saw this b4 but I wanna say jon vought is the secret bad guy
lie that guy in that mega man x game
then Voight gets capped and falls in da river
tom calls da mission off and as the chic goes in her car it goes up
someones picking off costumed heroes
then another chick gets shanked and another guy gets it
tom flees the cops
tom calls his superiors and tells em his team got iced
also the other half of the code got out
tom meets him and is bummed
wait, that sounds wrong
he knows somethings up and only now knows there were agents all over the place
turns out; the whole mission was a hunt to find da mole
as one of their guys went bad
and as tom survive they think hes a mole
also his fam has money now after losing a lot
he uses the gum to blow an aquarium and escape in slo mo
he goes to a bathroom and apartment and does research
he finds a bible quote and uses it to send a message to a guy
they chat for a bit and later Voight comes back to him
but its really a chick who went up in da car
that made no sense
she sed she wasnt in the car
retcon!!
btw the group was sent on a suicide mission knowing only the bad guy would live
sacrificing the innocent? sounds like something done by soviet England
like Churchill letting leslie howard get iced
so tim wants to let the mole think hes got the other half so he'd find him
then tom gets a message from the guy
he meets some guys and is taken to a place with a face covering to meet the mole named max like high max from mega man x or max sterling from Robotech or montana max from tiny toons or mighty max
but he isn't allowed to meet him yet
he wants 150 000 $ and tells em the item they got is rigged to send a track to the forces if checked
they don't trust him and try it but book it when the forces come
oh and this female there is Maxine and wanted the mole to get it for 6 million $
he dals with her to let him meet mole and he'd gve her the list
also car chick who survived wants revenge on whoever iced vioght
Voight was her husband despite being 50 yeers polder than her
spo tom meets with ving rhames to have him hack the thing to get the names
you know, it would be better if we didn't know if tom was the mole and his actions were implied to b him being the bad guy
but we cant have tom cruise as the bad guy
except when hes b0ning brad pit into vampirism
so they go into this base and tom stops the frenchie from Godzilla from shanking a guy who asked where the 3rd guy of them was
chick puts fluid into a guys drink from a pen and puts a small item on his back
tom goes through da vents and uses gadgets to disable a laser grid and lower himself into the room on a cable
oh and Frenchie is handling his cable
poisoned guy goes to the vault and don't notice tommy above him as he takes some pills and barfs
they gave him aids!!
he leaves the barf in a bucket to stink up the area and goes to da terlet to barf more
tom logs into poisoned guys computer uses the guys code ving gave him
meanwhile a rat goes in da vents and disturbs Frenchie who drops tom who nearly hits the floor
what a candy a55
tom catches a drop of sweat from his glasses
the Frenchie gets him out but his knife falls and poisoned guy comes back and sees the computer just dl'd the other part of the code
they escape and tom keeps the data from Frenchie
he don't trust the chick so he gives it to ving rhames
don't trust him!
esp after pulp fiction
then the news sez they caught tom but it was someone the6y called tom
also it was over drugs
wait, it was his fam
false charges against the innocent?
I think these guy are the bad guys
he hangs up just before they track his call but they know hes in soviet England
also jon Voight is back somehow
again
tom figures out jon voigt was the bad guy the whole time who iced everyone
oh and Frenchie was workin for him
huh, in each time they show the car going up it looks different
more or less fire
oh and this guy called Kittridge is the bad guy here
so on a train he let the Maxine get the disk list and it wont transmit cuz ving did something with it
ving laves and the datya starts transferring
also Kittridge is on da train and chick goes to this dark place with Voight
she tells Voight to blame tom and get away and voightb takes off his face and its tim
then real Voight comes out with a gun and its revealed tom knew Voight was da mole as he took the bible from the hotel and it was stamped
hen tom reveales he had the camera glasses out and their boss saw him alive
Voight beats down tom and when tom wakes up the roof is open
he goes up and theres a chopper after em and he crawls across da roof of da train like ernest evans on sega genesis/cd after jon voiht
they fight and the train and copper gos in a tunnel
the connection to transfer is dropped
btw a train I a tunnel with john Voight?
its speed 01 all over again
oh and Frenchie is in da chopper nd used the same knife in all his killings through the movie and tom hanks knew it
tom uses the boom gum and blows the chopper and lands safe on the train with a spike about to neck him
so things are settled and everything is set right
oh and the news covered up the chopper in the train as an accident
the end
that was ok
not bad
good action
but not too much
good suspence
good last minute things like him being caught at the last second b4 getting chopped up or w/e
I can see why so many things parodied it
I enjoyed it
no tacked on sad moment
no forced romance subplot
good effects
simple plot
its got good pacing and don't drag
not a bad film
glad I finally saw it after over 20 years
for mission imposible 2 I want him to have to assassinate a guy his bosses say s dangerous but he finds out the guy is the good guy about to expose the evils of his bosses. so tom sees why Voight turned on the group and sides with his target. but he doesn't let it be known by his bosses hes gone rogue and sneaks around setting up traps for when he's gotta take em all out in 1 move. its also a stealth game on gba, snes, sega genesis, Atari jaguar and tg16 where you play as tom and gotta plant traps w/o being seen and set up meetings with guys to have them in the right places.
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