Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Heavenly Bodies Review

Note: i spell with 80s style
haveenly bodies
this is my review on heavenly bodies from 1985(the year Robotech and Mario 01 Came Out)
i saw it b4 and its good 80s cheese
its directed by lawrence dawn and stars Cynthia Dale whos married to peter mansbridge, stewart strone from the 90s x men, Cec Linder, Dan Hennessey froom Dog City, Care Bears and Inspector Gadget and no one else I know
it was made in soviet Canada and is super 80s
ooh, its fullscreen
no black bars
so it starts with cheerful 80s tunes as credits go by
these 80s chicks buy a building or something and another 80s song kcks in as an office  girl prints flyers for the thing and hides em in her clothes
so over this montage they spread flyers, then we get an 80ss chick putting on 80s aerobix gear and dancing to a 3rd 80s song in an exercise dannce class like in the 80s robotech movie
in the 80s people worked out. in the 90s they stopped and by the 2010s we got my 600lb life
man, these chicks are in shape
not eveen 10 mins in and we had 3 songs
so then a reporter interviews people at the club who like it there and the club that has been doing great over the last few months
she wants to raise the cash to buy the building
later main chick's kid son is reading tom sawyer and tom wants to do b0ning with many people at once
mark twain you son of a b--ch!!
later we get another dance work out to an 80s song for manly 80s guys(back when guys were allowed to be he men)
so she outlasts all the muscley moustache men and later this guy from the dance runs into a priests car while looking at main chick
then more dancing to 80s tunes and main chick gets a gorilla gram from that guy (blonde guy) and invites her to dinneer
then in a mens class of dance, this chick plays str-ppeer music and playfully dances around blonde guy in a leather sm outfit
it was a sttr=pper gram from main chick
later  main chick comes home with balloons and a note from blonde guy sauying; if u say yes to dinner, release the ballons from the balcone
she does and later the club main chick is invoted to a show but dont wanna go
so blonde comes by and sez he hopes she likes perogies as hes el polen zakken
after dinner they chat and drink wine as she sez herpast b4 got her pregnant at 17 and ditched her a month b4 she pooped out her kid
more reason to stay a virgin til marriage
that and aids
so she makes out with him b4 he goes home andwe're like almost 25 mins in and nothing happened
but its not boring and is cheerful and fun
sorta like eiken but no g cup bikini teens
so theyy film this tv thing of 80s chix dancing and working out to 80s music and this perm chick who looks like dana sterling from robotechis there with her suit bf
as the song goes on they renove chix who dont work and eventually its between main chick and perm and peerm aiint friendly with main chick
then another 80s songdance work out as man chick looks at blonde pole andwe keep cutting to this straight white human opposite family living adult couple in bed
thenthe song continues as we see main chick and pole hanging oit in a park with her kid andjust having a good clean time
back when playgrounds were worth playing on
then a new song and more dance work out with tights and leg warmers
affter more dancing and 80s songs and its revealed that main chick woon the tv thing
meanwhile, later at the other gym, perm is p-ssed her butt buddy didn't get her the part and shes kinda b--chy about it
so good guy gym celebrates main chick getting da part with a pparty and sugary cake and booze
main chick goes back with pole blonde and b0nes him off screen and later she goes to the studio to dannce for her local show to upbeat 80ss misic
i think its just a warm up as no one is there and later she's  on tv doing regular stretches as perm and butt buddy are watching in bed and later b0ne
later butt buddy stops by the stufio and chats with main chick and then more dancing in the club to another 80s tune
after that pole blonde returns (he was out of town?) and they reunite and he sez hes going to soviet chicago tomorrow and shes busy and cant go with him
oh, hes opening a restaurant
she dont wanna drop everything to leave her dream for a guy again and they get kinda pi--y and  have a mild bicker
so ater another 80s song as she dances alone to music they play when someone struggles with something, she calls his room and gets a chick and hangs up thinking hes cheeting on her
them lite bummer music like in robotech as  she hangs out ar da beach with her kid
later she does bettingdswith a  guy over cash if she can do various moves and wins
after some pool swimming, with perms butt buddy, they kiss  but she sez shes not into it
then perm is doing her class dance and butt buddy is in da pool and his investor who looks like colonel sanders comes by thinking they are gonna cost him cuz of main chicks club
then another 80s dance work out of main chick and she learns the owners of her lease sold it and the coontract sez they can end their 4 year lease with 30 days notice
and butt buddy is behind it and bought it
this is starting to seem a lot like that ben stiller dodgeball movie
so main chick goes by bad clubs place and perm reveals shes in on it
then on her show she calls out buttt buddy over buying their club to close it doewn amdbutt buddy and perm ssee it on tv
why do they watch the show if they hate this chick?!
she challenges them to a dance off where winner gets the buildimg
is tthat legal??
isnt that betting??
so theres a protest outside butt buddys club and people hate him and the media is being the good guys for once and pressering them andbutt buddy and sanders consent to the challenge
then anotherdance video with crotch thrustimg and they set the rules
laterpole blonde comes by  main chiks place and wait its butt buddy
he throws her around and  ruuns off and  she damages her leg
btw gladiator rripped this off with jo a quin phoenix shanking robin hood
so its the dance off and pole bloonde comes by by taking time off his w/e he does to hep her
thety have several dancers on each team and they gotta keep dancing until one team has no one left
and each layer can stop for 10 secs and cant slack off or lose pace
then some intence dance working outto 80s music
i only saw this once and years aggo, but, are they gonna just have dancing and 80s music for the next 15 mins of film?
oh they get 10 min breaks
charge ur ki
and maiin chicks  leg bruise is expanding
he gave her aids!!
although i'm surprised the  bad guys didnt do roids
then more dancing and 80s music and her leg is going
use a pressure point
pole bf finds out from son that butt buddy beat up main chick and he tell him off
butt buddy fights pole bloonde and both are disqualified
if this were hockey they'd be ok
welll, not today. they queered hockey with all this fight phobia
its no better than woomens hockey where no body checks
or womens kick boxing whete no hitting
so they battle on dranzer and pole bf sez once he busted his nose but didnt tell coach cuz he had to finish the game
they go back in and its 2 on each team and the extras  bite it and is just perm and main chick
eventually main chick's leg f-ks out but she remembers footage from the start of the film and gets a 19th second wind
i guess she just went ss5 (ultra instinct is non canon) and gets a burst of ki and outlasts perm chick
the good guys wn and they cekebrate by, uou guesse it, dancing to 80s music
the end
then the sunny heaven song with footage behind the credits of 80s chicks dance exercizing
that was nice
lite, fun, cheerful, cheesy, upbeat, livley andvjust good
its like eiken; light on plot but with colorful feel good entertainmentt
no one is iced. no one is crippled. no one gets aids. no one does drugs
its not degrassi
its a bit pg13 with t-ts and a few swears but its not too bad
i liked it and if you like 80s filmsyou'll like this
for heavenly bodies 2 i want her to be recovering from her leg damage and get into roids to speed up recovery. also the club gets work out machines and the members get big and beeefy like that chick from the go nagai manga. also theyres a bodybuolding contst coming up and they gotta  get huge for it. its also an 8 bit game on sega master system and game gear, nes and gameboy, atari lynx and 7800 and tg16 where you do these mini games and levels of working out and gorging on high protein foods like mcdonalds burgers and ends in a bodybuilding contest like the pokenon musicals in the ds games.

No comments:

Post a Comment