Sunday, May 17, 2020

Plan 9 From Outer Space Review

Note; my spelling is as quality as this film
plan 9 from outer space
thhis is my review of plan 9 from outer space from 1959
its directed by Ed Wood who Tim Burton did a biopic on and is considered one of the best so bad its good films
its got tor johnson and vampira and has criswell the psychic and a fdew shots of bela lugosi who bit it years b4 this was filmed
so it starts with criswell talking about the future and this is the full tory of what happened some day
is this all dont in 1 take?
man, so much for being the worst film ever
then credits on tombstones and then these guys hav a memorial for someone who just bit it
with much overdone narration
afterward this plane with a curtain instead of a door for the pilots encounters a flying thingand they are rather calm about it
o the grave diggers out there for the guy see vampira and she ices em offscreen
so the husband of the chick who dbit it (he was married to vampira?! hot!!) can't take being without her and goes off and bites it
after he's put in a crypt thse friends of his  come by the wacked grave diggers and get the cops
officer tor johnson and his bumbling underling show up an look around
laterthe pilot tells his woman of the thing he saw and how da gov made em not report it
and it happened b4
then it flys by and blows em around by air blasts or w/e
same with the graveyard
so then the husband is undead and comes out, covering his face like dracula andhe and vampira take out tor after he uselessly fires at em
the other cops get there and find his body and start eating it
so its peobably the same night and they berry tor and the next day or month or w/e (its never said) the flying things go over soviet california or w/e this is set and everyone seez
they go all over america back in the 50s when people werent sissy's who spazz out when you dont call them by their fursona namme andthe army attackswith stock footage
it does jack sh-t and jack is j-rkin off
wait... is this where Roboteh Season 2 got it from?
the military going all out and doing nothing?
Robotech ripped off Plan 9?!
a army guy sez they tried contqacting em b4 and when da zenttraedi attacked, da gov covered it up
its said this attack was a traiining nanueever and they wrre firing at clouds
on the space things, the invid say they tried contacting da gov and nothing worked so they gonna try plan 09; making zombies
so this is b4 george romewro did night of the living deaad
so they go down to da urth from a mother ship like in robotech season 2 and dont seem evil
pilot comes out and has a moment wth his woman and goes off to work for a few days
so they bring back the husband whos sometimes bela lugosi and its daytime
later this chick is in bed and totally bela lugosi comes in covering his face  and she runs out like hes a purvo
its night now and she runs through the graveyard and vapira is there
tor rises from his grave as azombie which i think alteree beast took this from and has an iconic face
she runs and it keeps switching from day and night and a guy gets her in his car and drives away
so later da cops come by and i guess theres some kinda eclipse as the graveyand is dark anf the fields are light
the perytons  invide the zombies into the shiip and takesd off
the cops think the stories are full of sh-t and 1 detective sez somethings up
they chat if its an alien and they see the tor cop grave is robbed
so this colonel sez to a general that if he openly sez they are seeing space things, it could get him court martialed
in real life thy'd just ice him
colonel sez its real and now they have a lannguage computer that translates their stuff into english american
he plays a message saying how they know they can understand em and they are far beyond em and they can wipe out earth  if they want but wanna try peace
also they see the humans ignoring them as them not wanting to be friendly on terms and humans might destroy the universe
he shuts off da tape b4 it sez  more and tells general to check out soviet california
in space the head of the tiresians sez to the guy in charge of the earth mission he's f--kin it up and is having his fleet reduced
then tor comes in and nearly wacks the earth mission guy and they stop him
they go over their resources and plan to sacrifice not lugosi
they want to shock the people awake by showing them the walking dead
so later general goes by and chats with pilot about his sightings and they noticesomething out there
they see not lugosi and empty their guns into him for no effect and eventually the tirolians use a beam to ice him into a skeleton
then check the tor grave and the karbarrans send tor to get the humans in their space thing
the haydonites talk about how they might have to ice em to save the universe
the cops come in with guns and the spherians show themthe wife of the pilot was fainted
they tell em the govrefuses to accept them and goes on a wordy tirade about how mans weapons are getting too strong
with nukes they can f sstuff up and noe they might use a sun nuke that the humans will figger out sooner or later
it blows sunlight and everuthing it touches and he goes on bad logic saying how its possible
so he spazzes out calling them stoopid too much and gets slapped out
they admit they believe in God (totally not like the day the earth stood still) and how when humans make da sun nuke, it'll blow everything the sunlight touched
and thus; the universe
I Xyz Summion: Number Infinity! The Universe!! In Attack Mode!
after some bickering and space jockey sez cr-p about his planet
btw; the space monkeys not being evl and wanting to do good at the cost of men is from robotech
so tor has pilots  woman like hes cesar from the cabinet of dr caligari and the garudan sezhe can have her iced at any time
da bumbling cops see tor and decide not to use guns as they failed em b4
1 cop nails tor in the skul; with wood like hes marty mcsorely and saves the chick
theres a scuffle in the ship as the cops are otside and female ptaxian trys to get it in da air
the asjjip catches fire and the humans beat up the guys and leave em as the ship taks off
they see tors bones and expect vampira will skeletonie w/o the space monkeys and there may be more
the ship blows and the guy from the start sez "can u prove this didn't happen?" and points out several inventions over the 20th century seemed impossible and now are common
He asks God to help us in the future and credits to over dramastic music
the end
what a ride
its cheezey and hokey and silly
but charming
is not much different than most bad 50s sci fi schlock and aside from the bad acting and writing, wasnt too bad
i liked it and ive seen bits of it b4 but watching it from start to end was nice
plus its fullscreen and in b/w
its inspired a lot of 80s things and has heart and fun and yeah, it took a bit from day the earth stood still, bust has its own charm
nowdays this would be released by the asylum and be cheesey on purpose
it has some good ideas and is still entertaining
its nowhere near the worst film ever made and i enjoyed watching this cheesy b movie
for play 9 from outer space 2  i want it to b the 60s and j fk is prez. the space guys come and j fk surrenders to them thinking america is no match. but nixon takes over and nvils he's reverse engeneered a battle fortress from their captured tech and engages in a battle with them. using a lighter form of the sun nuke, they are able to target which sunlight pops and use it to blow away the ships. but the space junkies decide to take out earth b4 they get more advanced to the full sun nuke. they gang blast the earth and wipe out many countries but using the solar nuke, they clear out the fleet. then in plan 9 from outer space 3; the people are surviving in a nuked wasteland in the 80s and its got cyborgs and hovercycles and wasteland warriors and some of the aliens are living with them and have devolved into savages who eat people alive. also they are 8 bit nes, gb sega master system and game gear,  tg16, atari jaguar and lynx and atari 7800 games where in 2 you play as the battle fortress and use a grid based thing to plot how the sun nuke goes and in part 3 its a beat em up like doubel dragon.

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