The Westerner Review

 Note: I spell el wst taro

The Westerner

This is my review on The Westerner from the distant future year to the right honorable john wilkes booth, of 1940 (70 years before robotech and transdformers japan sason 3)

its directed by William Wyler from i mean who did The Best Years of Our Lives/Roman Holiday/the 50s Ben-Hur

It stars Gary Cooper from The Eagle/the 20s Ben-Hur/Wings/The Texan/A Farewell to Arms/Alice in Wonderland/Mr. Deeds Goes to Town/Sergeant York/For Whom the Bell Tolls, Walter Brennan from The Racket/The Invisible Man/Bride of Frankenstein\Sergeant York\The North Star\How the West Was Won/At Gunpoint\Bad Day at Black Rock/Along the Great Divide, Forrest Tucker from Teh Yearling/Chisum, Harry Carey Jr from Red River/Gentlemen Prefer Blondes/The Searchers/Billy the Kid Versus Dracula/Big Jake/The Shadow Riders/Gremlins 01/Mask/The Whales of August/Back to the Future, Part III/Little House on the Prairie/Warpath, Paul Hurst from The Cossacks/Island of Lost Souls/Queen Christina/Mr. Deeds Goes to Town/Gone with the Wind/The Ox Bow Incident/Jack London/Angel and the Badman, Chill Wills from Meet Me in St. Louis/The Yearling/Tulsa/The Sundowners/Giant/The Alamo/McLintock!, Lilian Bond from The Old Dark House/The Picture of Dorian Gray/The Big Trees, Dana Andrews from The Ox-Bow Incident /The North Star/Three Hours To Kill/The Twilight Zone/Kit Carson, Charles Halton from the 39 Jesse James/The Hunchback of Notre Dame/It's a Wonderful Life/the 50s A Star is Born, Trevor Bardette from Marie Antoinette/Valley of the Giants/Gone with the Wind/The Grapes of Wrath/Santa Fe Trail/The Big Sleep/T-Men/The Texas Rangers/Thunder Over the Plains/Destry, Tom Tyler from Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ/Stagecoach/Gone with the Wind/The Grapes of Wrath/The Mummy's Hand/Red River/The Three Musketeers/Blood on the Moon/Samson and Delilah, Lucien Littlefield from Love Laughs at Andy Hardy/Uncle Toms Cabin/Trrent/The Sheik/The Cheat/The Cat And The Canary, Hank Bell from the dw griffith Abraham Lincoln/the 1935 Call of the Wild/Mr. Deeds Goes to Town/The Texans/The Ox-Bow Incident/Duel in the Sun, Charles Coleman from Fury/The Great Ziegfeld/Captains Courageous/the 30s A Christmas Carol/Jane Eyre/The Picture of Dorian Gray/A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Heinie Conklin from The Circus/All Quiet on the Western Front/Soup to Nuts/the 35 Les Misérables/The Best Years of Our Lives/Santa Fe/the 50s A Star Is Born/Destry, and a few gys oin never saw in aything

I never saw this but its based onjudge roy bean but i know little of him

afater title and credits we gets text saying after the alleged civil war the pla ce was fd and a guy named judge roy bean which i assujem is related to sean bean or orson bean did cr-p as war was comming

then these cow handlers let the cows through a frnce and eat another guys corn so a gunfirght breaks out

my dad is amazed the guy shot a cow, even though we eat burgers every week, and i guess the 1800s had similar views as he's hung for shooting a stee like its india with less raepe and torture

so main guy who i think is bean who had a guy executed for cowicide gives a toast to a chick hes gay for and throws a guy ottaa his bar for not having seen the chic even though eh had the chance

so these guys bring in gary cooper and say he was on a guys horse and claim it was stolen and the guy played by gary cooper sez he's just wandering around the wasteland

a chick comes in and asks where this guy she likes is andhe reveals he strung him up and shey got laws against making fences here as he is the law lie judge dredd

thr horse owner sez its his horse and has it move its head to nod and when he's gonna string him up but chick sticks up for him and sez he didnt give em a chance and judge clears the courtroom for all except not her

the jury goes out and cooper has a drink with judge and the booze eats at the table and he reveals that hemet the actress that judge likes and wants to know if they b0ned

the jury is having a poker game and cooper gets along with bean ove rthe chick hes into and sez he's got a thing of her hair and judge wants it but cooper dont got it with him but with his stuff at el paso

bean was in the civil war and has a saber and  wants him to ride for the hair in 1-1.5 fortnights and he sez he'd never part with it for anything in the world

the jury comes back and finds him guilty but judge sez he talked wth him and found reasonable doubt as hes a freind of his waifu and suspends the sentence for a while

later cooper sezto a guy the guy owes him 60$ and gets slugged and they go outside and cooped beats him outand takes him money, then cooper sez he sol him the stolen horse

been caps him when horse guy pulls a gun and realises that guy stole the horse, takes his money for "fines" and strings up the body as they hang horse theives like in n=mutany on the bounty

bean and not mr bean gets along withcooper and they drink liquor and cooper akes up in ben with bean whos asleep and i might mean they b0ned when drunk

its true what they say, beer turns you queer! you have 1 too many, wake u with 20 guys!

so bean has an ace up his leeve and cooper getshis gun but beat stopped snoring for a bit and after bean wakes up he has coper jerk his neck and not his parts to crack em and dont remember him and cooper sez hes the guy who won the guys horse

So cooper asks horse if hes glad to be won fro the guy named chickenfoot and jerks the reigns to make it nod and rides out by many crosses of beans victims but bean chases him down and tackles him off his horse

bean sez he wants the bit of the idols hair and that they agreed over drinks and he sez hes going to soviet california to see the ocean and bean sez he cant go for being under sentence and lists a buncha bogus charges

cooper goes off on a horse and bean realizes bean stole his gun and elsewhere is the chick an people having a meeting andnot agreeing as the land is hard to manage with gunfights like in the slums of soviet california or the ghettoes of dtoilet

the men wanna have an uprising like 1776 or the confederates and chick thinks cooper guy i mean got strung up but sees him outside and he comes in and the guys are amazd he survived

the menfolk wanna get cooper n their side and make him a meal and want chick to hit on him and she finds he's a wanderer w/o a house and if he had a hosue it would be on wheels(an RV?) and she wants a place tat has a solid foundation

she offers to invite him to husk the corn as its fun and hits on him but he goes to bed and the next day chick goes on patroll in the cornfirlweds agaisnt the cows

they catch a guyand wait its another of their guy and he sez the guys went to town to lynch bean

a lot of awful people were involved in lynchings, like the murderers and m0 les ters who got strung up!

so cooper rides his hose to save him like Birth of a Nation andtells bean who thinks its nothing and can handle a trainload of lynchers

the lynchers come in and they see cooper wo se judge is out and 1 guy caps a door but bean comes out behind em from the other door and has cooper take their guns like gov slaves do

cooper also takes beans guns and i thinkhas another one and cooper wants em to drink togetehr but they dont wnna so coper sez the no fence laws f'd the gardeners but favored the cattlemen

in other areas the fences and non fences devolved into ruination and bean sez if they buld fences they otta also do coffins and pulls an gun and sends the men out, but gives em back their guns as he's not as bad as cany a55 england or australia or new zealand or other cesspools

cooper trys to get bean to see the cattle guys are f ing up the farmers and bean thinks it'll ruin the area with having fences, but w/o borsers, theres no owned land, only public property

coper sez he has the hair on him butdidnt give him it as he'd sting him up and bean agrees and cooper goes off to tell the mnhe got bean to agree to clear out te cattle and would ride with bean to make sure but this 1 guy fights cooper

cooper wins are i mean and is gonna go to cant a55 california and gets a clip o her hair and goes off in a nice moment

btw tis is in poper fullscreen and nice b/w with a good style like the wizard of oz in the non colored scenes and good msic and writing

so cooper talks with beam cannon fire of the chick hes ay for andthat se loves America and wants to go to Texas and he gives her i mean ban a the hair from the chick and it takes a while w/o words and good music, then fakes wanting to keep it and fakes reluctantly giving him it

the farmers give thanks to The Lord whoch THEY would not have in modern filma asTHEY worship other things and later, cooper talks with chick who wants to have a house with him on the land and cooper has a nice talk describing how what the house is like and her to him

they smooch andthen see the filds are on fire and the cattleguys are riding animals with flaming cr-p behind em dragged andtorching the crops, which is bad as not no one gets to eat

didnt sun tsu say, a tyrant will burn down a kingdom to rule the cinders? like the commies ruining places they own so the people dont rebell, like the maruta and soviets and brits

so cooper has the corn toen down by driving a horsewith a woo slab behind it through and driving it through the flames as tis house orbarn or w/e urns

chicks dad is down amd se gets guys to help him and thr p;lace burns down and later bean sez the chick hes gay for is comming and he celebtates wih the catle guys

chick has aservice for her da and vws to carry on and when cooper gets to town he sees the idol chick is comming and when he meets bean, thinks bean had something to do witj it butbean swears by his army cr-p he didnt do it

when cooper as him swear on the hair he admits he did it and thinks the farmers had it comming and would ruin the land and cooper throws away te booze

cooper goes to the fort and takes out a warrent against beam and becomes a marshall or w/e and 1 guy buys all the tickets to the show and i think it was for ban as the guy cut out a poster and its then in beans cafe or bar in the sega version

bean gets his confederate uniform on and rides in with the cattleguts thinking ots a trap and wants to go in to see the idol alone

bean want prvacy during the sow and i think in the real version was gonna b0ne her andhashis goons gard outside as he goes in an empty threatre and the band comes in and plays but when the curtain rises its gary cooper

he sez hes comming, for him, andthe band books it and bean dives as cooper jumps and they gunfight in the room like a boss fight and reload like house of the dead and sneak around and fire

bean sez to stand up and draw but as they get up bean falls as he was hit and has a death scene talking of seeing the chick lily like in wedding peach and cooper but nt lunk cooper from robotech sez he'd bring him to her and she wants him

he carrys him out but not im carry cuz hes not devolved andbean gets up and like roy fokker in robotech, walks out to the girl biting it and meets the real lily and bites it, proably going to h e double mexico as he did much evil

after the thing cooper gets roys saber like rick getting Roy'ds Veritech and later he'smarried to chick and the ruined land grows back like in Robotech after the Zentredi nuking and coper sez texas will be the biggest besy plsce in America, which kinda happened as Texas is the most America state and masculine.

But its 1880s and bean bit it in the 1900s in real life

The end

that was pretty good

nice classic look and feel

good action and muisc

the acting was good and alter did a great work being the bad guy but not hatan;e

he had chasrima and charm and even though he did bad, he wasn't the kinda guy you want skinned and rolled around in salt like that gender offender in x men

its a good movie and doesn't drag and has good floew and don't feel like 100 mins

For The Westerner 2 I want beans illegitimate son to come by and want revenge on cooper and send a swar of bandits to end em and all in the area, but cooper and his woman who's been training with a gun, go on a run and gun adventure capping em and taking on steapunk armored guys and cryptids and amish wizards to take on bean jr who's been surgically had animal parts grafter onto him for more poewr. its also a 16 bit run n gun game on sega genesis, snes, gba, tg16 and arati jaguar where you go through wild west areas like a mine and forest abd cave and hilltop andbeach and wasteland and cap all these guys.