Barbie Review

 Note; i spell like a doll

Barbie

This is ore samma no review of Barbie from the distant futue year to lilian gish of 2023 (the year of Robotech II The Sentinels)

its directal by Greta Gerwig who did nothing i saw

it stars Margot Robbie fr0m The Legend of Tarzan/Babylon, penly devolved Kate McKinnon from Saturday Night Live/The Magic School Bus Rides Again, Emma Mackey from Death on the Nile, Ana Cruz Kayne from Law & Order/Blue Bloods, partly good Ryan Gosling who sipports peta and is openly feminist despite allegedly being a man, from Remember the Titans/The Notebook/The Ides of March/La La Land/Blade Runner 2049/First Man/Are You Afraid of the Dark?/Goosebumps/The Adventures of Shirley Holmes/Breaker High/Young Hercules/Hercules: The Legendary Journeys/candy a55 Saturday Night Live, Simu Liu from Pacific Rim/Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings/Kim's Convenience/Corner Gas Animated/Saturday Night LiveC/elebrity Jeopardy!, openly sodomus Scott Evans from Law & Order: Criminal Intent/Law & Order, ningen uragiri maruta suki John Cena from Scooby-Doo! WrestleMania Mystery/The Flintstones & WWE: Stone Age SmackDown!/Fred: The Show/The Eric Andre Show, mexicommie America Ferrera from How to Train Your Dragon/Touched by an Angel/Ugly Betty/The Good Wife, Rhea Perlman from We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story/Canadian Bacon/Taxi/Cheers/The Earth Day Special/The Simpsons/The Critic/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Robot Chicken/Harley Quinn, opely awful Helen Mirren from Excalibur/Calendar Girls/aising Helen/he Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy/itchcock/Caligula/The Passion of Ayn Rand, commie purvo Will Ferrell from Austin Powers 1 and 2/A Night at the Roxbury/Zoolander/Elf/Starsky & Hutch/Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy/The Producers/Blades of Glory/Semi-Pro/The Lego Movie/Zoolander 2/Holmes & Watson/The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, Michael Cera from Frequency/Confessions of a Dangerous Mind/Superbad/Scott Pilgrim vs. the World/I Was a Sixth Grade Alien/Anne of Green Gables: The Animated Series/The Ripping Friends/The Berenstain Bears 00s cartoon/Rolie Polie Olie/The Simpsons/Drunk History/Celebrity Jeopardy!, Ray Fearon from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone/Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Lucy Boynton from Bohemian Rhapsody/Law & Order: UK, Rob Brydon from Shaun of the Dead/Holmes & Watson, Tom Stourton from Drunk Historey, Ann Roth from 9 to 5/Dennis the Menace/The Talented Mr. Ripley/Finding Forrester/Signs/Cold Mountain/Mamma Mia!/Julie & Julia/The Seagull, Annie Mumolo who wrote bridesmaids which s-cked, from bridesmaids/Father of the Pride/Curious George/Two and a Half Men/The Penguins of Madagascar/American Dad!/The Looney Tunes Show, Lauren Holt from beta male Saturday Night Live, and a buncha guys, mustl;y queers, i never saw in andthing or aint on soviet candy a55 wikipedia

I never saw this but heard its feminist, which can be expected from a womn dire cting, like letting a yankee make a civil war movie make the South look bad

I'd have made it a bimbo movie of happy jolly bimbos having fun and malcontent feminists try to stop em from being hot and fun but are hoisted by their own etard likean 80s cartoon

it made like a billion dollars and won a few oscars so someone liked it, and i like movies based on toys and the adds and songs were fun i saw in clips

huh, the maruta got triggered cuz of a map drwn like a child that they felt didn't show how those things see them owning the world and sea

Its by mattel and they did hot wheels and He man which the latter had a good movie

after logos we get helen mirrrn aying seince the start of time girls played with baby dolls to be mothers, but thenwe got barbie and the girls busted their baby dolls in probably a thing on what feminists do to the unborn but un the style of 2001 a space odysses

then title and a buncha chicks as barbie dolls saying that cuz barbie can be anythign, so can women, even though is better to be a mom and wife to a lovn ghusband

so in barbie land then baribies think feminism is solved andwe getcredits to a song andbarbie ina neon candy colored happy dreamland where everything is happy and nice, liek the 1t world outside of the slums

they even show barbies pregnant feiend midge and skipper andher driving her pink car around a barbie is a black woman president whos jyuuish and probably queer and disabled anda noel prize winner and astronaughts like in robotech

barbie is alays good but ken is only happy whenbarbie pays attentions to him and ken is young hercules and runs into the plastic water and is bounced back

theres a lot of varous barbies and kens and asian ken challenged ryan ken in a beach off whih sounds like b=ating off and ryan ken is checked out by female dr's and is ok

blonde ken's not a surfer or dr but hes only beach en and hes healed and they later go to a partywith wheelchair babrie and ssbbw barbie dancing and michael sera is allen whos n ot a ken

blonde ken wants to be with barbie as hes gay for her like rick and lisa in robotech or dana and zor and barbie asks if they every thingk of dying and the party stops and she corrects herself as "shes dying to dance"

after the party ken almost smooches babires and sez its good and ken wants to spend the night but dont know why as i guess he dont got parts

barbie has girls night and ken loves her and barbie goes to sleep thinking of death and the next day is kinda outt it and has imaginary tooth brushing and shower and food as the song things of death, called doom in the tv dub like the doom phantom in sailor moon

at da beach barbies feet turn from high heels mode to human and she dont know how to walk with it and falls and when she shows the other girls they fake barf and after telling their day they think shes malfunctioning and has to visit weird barbie who was the hottest barbie who got f;d by a kid playing with her too hard

it shows a kid burning the hair and other things to the spice girls song andnow she helps broken babreis and barbie goes to see her with her wird a55 tim burton neon plae and cr-pping dog toy

weird babreis wants to see naked ken which is wried as hes got no parts andafter finding out about death thoughts, weird barbie sez theres a rift in the real world and she has to find the girl who plays with her and fix it as the girls sadness isf--kin up barbie

barbie wonders why they fixed girl issues and everyne should be happy now but i guess feminisim ruined things and now women are less happy than ever(not a joke, look it up)

weird barbie offers her the matrix choice of going back to regular life or seeing the real world but when barbie bimbos out and wants to be fun, weird a55 barbie sez theres no choice and shes going

if barbie dont fix theings, she'd be devolved into weid barbie and be a creeper and has a going away party andken and asian ken talk about if he's going and the barbie bimbos think she'd be beloved by barbie fans who they saved

so barbies goes off in her pnk cr andken is in the bac andwhen ken comes out she woman drivers out and flips and ken sez he bet asian ken and can help like if theres beach and has neon skates

after come i mean come i mean some cartooney changes and gages of them going in a montage, they go to the real world and all these ugmoes laugh at them and ke feels good but barbie dont

they stop by a construction site and the guys hit on her an she sez she and ken dont got parts, which seems weird for barbie to say and when a guy smacks her a55 she slugs him and gets arrsted to dance music

after getting new clotehs by stealing to look like cowboy and cowboy chick, ken is told to go off on his own and finds a gym and manly guys and male cops on horseback and american presidents on the money andmanly dudes like stallone and loves it

this is like a modern guy seeing hokuto no ken and getting over his gender issues like me in college

barbie enters the protoculture matrx by thinking andseeing the life of the loser id who plays with her being cr-ppy and her face leaks and she feels emotion

she looks around and sees people squabbling anda f;d tree and its like when the buddha left his sheltered life to see the poors and sez this geezer is beautiful

ken come by and brings her to mattel and in mattel an intern gets word that 2 dolls came from their world and i guess the gov in in on it and its revealed 10 years ago a skipper got out and wanted to look after kids and take a toddler surfing but the gov covered it up like the to vv urs

wait they aint at mattel and mexicommie is coming up wuth loser barbies like they'd sell and the intern comes by the bosses meeting place and boss is back door billy will ferrel cat

after a chain of whispers get boss the word and boss is thinks its bad and mexicommi hears through the door and wants barbie back in the box

barbie is all f'd out and ken feels great in the ningen kai andits like when that chick got surgery to fake being a man and saw how hard it was

barbie comes by a school an goes to talk to sasha and acts like shes cool but the high schools think shes a dumba55 and a bimbo and when barbie wants a hug and thanks but the teens are malcontent and dont like dolls

they think she makes girls feel bad for beign a good role kmodel and the teens are malcontent commies and whine about the environment and bad body image and  call her a fascist like its a bad thing

barbie goes off bmmed by those b--ches and  ken finds books on patriarchy and a fat chick is nice to him and hes glad to be respectied but when he applies for places, they dont have hi cuz being a man is bad now to THEY/THEM

barbie is bummed and ken wants to make patriarchy fresh and some guys in suits come by and she sez the world is backwords and the mattel brings her off as mexciommie and her ecocommie socialist is glad but mexicommie goes after her

barbie is brought in andhad mineral water which has water in the cup and shes not used to it

she meets the mattel board and its all guys hich is why its working and they want her to get in the box but she sez they otta get ken 1st

ken is going to barbie land andbarbie is gonna go in the box but when she wants to see the woman in charge finds the company is run by b]men as it also does hot wheels and he man and will goes on a fun tirade and they sedn her in da box and then isnt in it andn she goes to fix her hair in the terlet andshe books it through the maze of rooms in the building

so barbie gets away as they chase and blocks a door with a broom and not up the a55 like in lwe and order and wanders aroun to findrhea pearlman like ms pac man in a musty kitchen

barbie has a t and ms pac man sez she looks ifferent and right and b4 she tells her who she is the guys come for her and rea pacman sez where to go and that her name is ruth

barbs gets out and mexicommie drives her aeyay like in terminatior and has a big mouth like one of those african guys and mexicommie sez to jr that she played with barbies when sad and drawing and had death thoughts andthey see mexicommie devolved barbie with her cr-ppiness

thn a  montage or jr being cr-ppy to her mom and mom in real time does stunt driving and evades the mattel guys and sez barbie made her life better but jr whines about everyone hating women, which with a b--ch like jr, i wonder why

baries thinks the world is f'd and  they go to the beach and go to barbie land in a kontage through  the cartoon scenery and mexicnomie is happy for once and jr is b--chy and babrie sez how women run everything and its somehow happy and ditzy

boss ferrel pig  finds barbs bught a human to the barbie realm and in barbie realm they seemen are being manly and the womenare now serving men and not for dinner like that mexican chickwho chopped her husband into tamales

ryan ken is spreading word of how men are great andbarbie dont know where the kens go and ken has turned her dream house into a mojo dojo andin the real realm the ken cr-p is selling well and pople love him and hes cool but boss is a back door billy andmwant to focus on girls

the barbies love being suberviant to ken and barbie is amazed these chicks  are happy helping chicks i mean dudes

barbie sez this failed but ken reveals she failed him and goes on about how he felt good to be trrated with respect and ken shows the kens have fixed th go and ken won the noel prixe in horses and  barbie b--ches out about it

she didnt' appreciate him when she had him and now he's gone off o do his own thing and ken throws her glam outfits off the dream house and barbie whines over having too many feelings and thoughts and was ruined by the real world and mecinxicnme

jr commie sez maybe barbie did it and she tells e she dont like change but mexicomcie sez life is all change and barbie gives up and tlels the mexicnomies to go on their own world

then a fake add for depressed barbie and then weird barbie comes by and the mattel guys are comming across the thing and as mecixommie dirves with daughter,  allen comes out and dontwanna stay in kenland as hes a beta male and sez the other allens who left were n'sync

the kens are making a wall and allen beats on em and mecixommie and daughter reconsile and agree to go back as jr likes the dark weird f'd mom she ha and her crppy babries drawings

in weird babries place she revales the brainwashing of ken didnt work on her cuz she got f'd by the real workd and allen andmexicommiecome by andsee the disconcointeud babries like skipper with bust expansion and daddy of sugar ken

barbie whines that shes not pretty or skilled andwhines about not being a big deal like a supreme court chick like the right honorable amy coney barret but they let judge jumanji on and she dont know what chicks are despite being one

mexicommie whines about being a chick and how she thinks theres all these rules for beign a chick even though guys have it harder and get away with less like a 12 year old  boy geetitng b0ned byb a 40 year old woman is ok but a 17 year old chick and a 24 year old guy is comehow bad

man this mexicommie is still going on this tirade as i typed all that and keeps b--ching and whines about trying hard to be liked even though guys have issues with people liking em too, i got a lot of guys who hate ore samma and i dont go on a spazz about it

so by mexicomie whining about her woman cr-p and not blasting out the womb, it fixed babires issues and shes ok now andthey plan to bring down ken and have an africanized chickfake beign in need and kidnap thebabires when ken is being a good boy and heloing soem 5kank

mexcimoe tirades at the chicks and unfixes them and they get another chickaway by having a man exlain the godfather and another explain money to em or wearing glasses so ken can discover shes pretty and faking being bad at sports, but women dont need to fake that

so the kens are gonna change the constitution and the women schemeto turn em agianst each other like cain and abel with the pretty sister they wanted to reproduce with

mexicommie makes barbie not wanna be with ken andoverthrow him andgives her a make over and she goes to talk to ken and fakes being nto him and liking his things, i e lying, and ken still likes her and plys guitar at her and sings for her for hours

also this is highly colored and birgh and is in widescreen

so when they are working hard for their song, they lose interest and go to another ken to f with em and manipulate em into hating each other

its like king kong, beauty slayed the beast

ryan ken wants to go to war vs the kens but theres issues with how to tell em apart and ken sings his song i'm jest ken an says his feeling of being tired of beign in the shadow of barbie and th kens battlewith beach items and its all play fighting and no damage

the mettel guys come over and ken and asian ken blast glitter outta their chests at each other and it changes toa dance off thenken sings more about being ken and wanting love instead of being freindszoned

so the guys get along and this guy sez they were meant to vote to change the constitution andwith the men kept out, the vote passed to keep barbie land baries land and the men are 2nd class citixens

its like Birt of a Nation with the Klan keeping the africanized guys out andwhen thekens get back to barbie land, its back to drwamhouses

ken runs inside and cries and barbie comforts him and ken sez it was hard running things and he didnt love it and he lost interest in patriarchy after finding its not about horses

he wanted the dream house to be their house and brbie sez sorry for taking him forgranted and neglecting him but dont wanna smooch him and ken whines that he only exists to be an accessory to her

like a target master made for the cybertroinian who owns it

ken is bummed about being stoopid and dressing in leather and dont know who he is andbarbie sez hes not his accessories and its barbie and its ken and he realizes ken is him and the kens realize they miss their friend babrie and i realize ken is dressed like an 80s rocker

they see they fought not nowing who they were like gys falling into gender issues and damaging thei fams

th mattel guys come ina ndboss goes on a monologue and how hes seen his way and africanized barbie wants to have men and women as equels and sez sory for calling weird barbie weird

the kens awanna be n the courts and they get a lower thing, whiich helen hole sez they can one day have the same power as women in our world, which means they;d get away with everything and not pay their fees and can get away with legal issues with mouth stuff

mexicommieants regular babiers and boss goes with it hearing it'll make money and barbie dont wanna have an ending and ruth whos the ghost of the chick who made barbie comes in from h-ll saying thers no ending and no one looks like barbie but barbie, like no one is as buff as he man but whiners dont say hes a bad image

rhe truh brings barbie to some void and sez theres not 1 ending and she helped those people and saved barbie land and people make up partiatchy and barbie to deal with feelings and then they bite it

barbie wants to be part of the creating and not a creation andpacman rhee is surprised and barbie wants permission to be human but pacman sez she dont need permission and barbie is named after her daughter and barbie holds her hands andfeels and crys to soft music and we see a tree and women with babies and girls being girls in a mntage

oh and pacman said women stand stil so their daughters can see how far they came

so barbie went to the human world and mexcinomies man is trying to speak her mexico talk and barie dresses fashionable but bland and goes to see a crotcyh dr . gross

then credits to a remake of barbie girl and toys and the actor names who played em

the end

that was kinda fun, it had a few bad messages of feminism, but they didnt make ken look evil for wanting his piece of the pie

it had good colorsand effects and music, plus the acting was good

what about ken? his gf left him and he's got o one

its an entertaining movie but has some bad messages, like Birth of a Nation, or A Time To Kill

It wasnt as bad as I thought and had some good bimboes in it

Glad I saw it, its more entertaining than oppenheimer, butits trying to entertain

For Barbie 2 I want her to have enough of the modern world when feminists come after her for being pretty and plastic and she uses her pink glitter powers to bring them to the barbie world and show em how being happy, fun, attractive and liking men can be good. but the feminists dont like t and try to stop em, but with comic 1940s style hijinx going on, like the barbies dressing hot and the feninists trying to damage the clothes, only to show more skin and the guys like em, or the girls going shopping and the feminists trying to drop an anvil on em, only for it to crush em. or the feminists wigging out at guys liking gorls so the guys tell em off and they attack only for the guys to take em down with kung fu. Its also a 128 bit game like Shenmue on sega dreamcast, camecube, xbox and ps2 where you play as the bimbos and evade traps and chat with guys and try on outfits and quick time events with the guys taking down feminists who attack, and the game ends with a wedding and the feminists try to stop it for being traditional.