The Missouri Breaks Review

 Note; i spell like a Kansas city faeggit

The Missouri Breaks

This is my review on The Missouri Breaks from the distant fiture year to f w merbau of 1976(30 years before Transformers season III)

its directed by Arthur Penn who did Bonnie and Clyde/Little Big Man/Dead of Winter

It stats the horrid Marlon Brando from A Streetcar Named Desire/the 50s Julius CaesarOn the Waterfront/One-Eyed Jacks/the 62 Mutiny on the Bounty/The Ugly American/The Godfather 1/Superman 1/Apocalypse Now/the 96 The Island of Dr. Moreau/Scary Movie 2, openly illegitimate Jack Nicholson from The Little Shop of Horrors/The Raven/The Terror/Easy Rider/One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest/The Shining/Batman/A Few Good Men/Wolf/Mars Attacks!/As Good as It Gets/Anger Management/The Bucket List/The Andy Griffith Show, the bada55 Randy Quaid from The Last Picture Show/Midnight Express/National Lampoon's Vacation/National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation/The Ren & Stimpy Show/Independence Day/The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle/Not Another Teen Movie/The Adventures of Pluto Nash/Brokeback Mountain, Kathleen Lloyd from It Lives Again/The Incredible Hulk 80s show, Frederic Forrest from It Lives Again/Apocalypse Now, Harry Dean Stanton from The Proud Rebel/1960s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn/How the West Was Won/Cool Hand Luke/The Godfather Part II/Wise Blood/Alien 1/Escape from New York/Red Dawn/The Care Bears Movie/Pretty in Pink/The Last Temptation of Christ/The Green Mile/Anger Management/Rango/2012 The Avengers/The Rifleman/The Andy Griffith Show/Two and a Half Men, John McLiam from  Cool Hand Luke/In Cold Blood/The Andy Griffith Show/Big Jake/First Blood, John Ryan from Death Wish 4: The Crackdown/Batman: Mask of the Phantasm/The Rockford Files/the show M*A*S*H, Sam Gilman from One-Eyed Jacks/Star Trek/The Waltons, Steve Franken from The Americanization of Emily/Westworld/Angels & Demons/My Favorite Martian/The Patty Duke Show/60s Batman/Bewitched/The Smurfs/Batman: The Animated Series/The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries/Seinfeld/the 90s cartoon Detention/Static Shock, Richard Bradford from The Untouchables/Dr. Giggles, James Greene from Patch Adams/Road to Perdition, Luana Anders from The Pit and the Pendulum/Dementia 13/Easy Rider/The Rifleman/The Andy Griffith Show/Little House on the Prairie, Danny Goldman from MASH the movie/The Long Goodbye/Young Frankenstein/The Smurfs/Batman: The Animated Series/Mighty Max/The King of Queens/Robot Chicken, Hunter von Leer from Cahill U.S. Marshal/High Anxiety/History of the World: Part I/the 80s Halloween II/The Rockford Files/Charlie's Angels/The West Wing, Virgil Frye from Easy Rider, Charles Wagenheim rom Jezebel/The House of Frankenstein/Samson and Delilah/A Streetcar Named Desire/The Diary of Anne Frank/the 60 Inherit the Wind, and a few guys not on back door, candy a55, soy boy, beta male, aids bag, banana crammer, monkey junkie, gender offender, Sodom bottom, queer rear, hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plabts wikipeia, who lies about a lot and effuses to have topics of things like yugioh abridged, familyfriendlygaming, or torettes guy, but does have a page on mariah carre saying "i don't know her".

after title and credits a guy sez they used to ave bison but now cattle and 2 guys talk of cr-p and go by a camp as 1 sez he hopes the chicks dont burn as he likes em White, then string up one of the guys with em

some guy later inside talks with his wife of his business and finaces and history on gold and cr-p and is doing the misourt breakes and hates the evil scummy people working there

his sghter isn't pleased with the guy getting hung w/o a trial like tat actor getting fired on accusations and then we et the breaks of the misouri river with exciting music and guns running horses

1 guy was in Wyoming and spent days in Wyoming and was with a guy claiming to be Charlie soringo or w/e wjo kept trying to b0ne a chick

the guy talking whos jack a55 Nicholson was with a chubby girl and they hear how a guy named sandy got hung and spazzed for a whilre

1 guy ack knew used to cut the brand off steers and feed it to dogs to hide the evidence

they were i think horse russlers and need a relay ranch to not move so many horses acrss open ground and the guys tak of robbing things t make the money for it

jack sez years ago they'd arrest sandy and jail it and later a guy talx with jack of how when fighting in Kansas they had relays and moved a cousin around far ahead o the cops until when the cops found him he was already dead and was wanted for card tricks

so they ro a train and the jack claims t be jesse james and when he steps out hes on a bridge and drops the money off a high point but catces himself and has a guy collect the moneyon the ground as the jack a55 climbs down

they get to town and 1 guy in a meeting sez they otta send this captured guy to prison instead of ending him as if he's executed he wont drip the soap but might be out after 2 weeks and he sez hes regrets nothing of his theft or p-ssing away the monrey but wants to be called the lonesome kid

ack talks with budinsess dad of buying a ranch and of how they hungb the thief but daughter gets whiny of him being pro hanging but jack dont wanna hear of the guy geting it

later finance guy and daughter come across one of financers men hanging in a tree and later jack has bought the ranch but used up his money and javk is glad as if they get used to robbing trains the detectives will get em

the men agree and they go to the wh=re house and the girls are kinda cr-ppy with some being chubby like he likes it

later its day and theguys are having fun while working and the people like it there

1 moustaqche guy iced a guys farm animals and nearly murdered him cuz the guy shot his dog who licked butter, what a c=ck sucker. its only a dog. hope some guy b0nes this malciontent dead

later the guys are playing cards and f--king around and later its day and dog lover and a jack alk of going to soviet canaa to jac horses despite mounties

dog a55 wants to go to soviet Canada as Trudeau isn't in andack get b--chy over having to stay in that sh-t hole but not inda, the sh-ttiest sh-t hole of sh-t

daughter sees 2 horses coming and a guy hidden under its coat comes out and is the back door brando from last tango in paris where he butter b0ned butt

brando stays with em and is playing an irish which means hes in lepreachaun face and blames em for hanging the sandy as it lead to another guy getting iced

so the people talk of him and laugh ad its said he was called in to deal wth something

the jolly raqnchers go off to Canada and a fwmalecomes by saying jacks her neighbor and dont wanna hang out with the jack and its the daughter

she lets jack come and they talk of how jack was in the wh=re house andthis blonde told her everything(i assume it means she knows if hes uncut)

she sez theres nothing worth talking of here so any event is big and they go on of how he wants her until he tells her shes a b--ch and no one tells her but she gets whiny and comes around

the jolly ranchers sh-t around in the river and later jack is handleing an animal and brando comes by and is introduced as a regulsator and jack sez that means he shoots people and don't get near em

he notices brando has binoculars and brando sez he looks at burds as i gues he has a bird fetish and jack asks if he ied a guy from a mile off

jack goes on of how hanging guys lets em wrote a letter and wth brandos gun brando dont let his targets know what happened and jac sez how this guy he was with's head blew apart

acks animals mom was eaten by a myre andhe needs a wet muel and chick comes back after the brando goes and shes nicer to jack and they go in for Chinese tea and gradually get to b0ning

after that the brando is looking at birds and sees daughter leaving the jack h0le and its like back to the fiture wit geore McFly lokin t chicks and saying its birds

the jolly ranchers go through or to cansda andlater jack is romanticly riding with dauher driving and jack in the b--ch seat as she sez her mom left her dad for the 1st guy se could

dad has law books and sez theres no laws but 1 book has a thig on lwed cntent and she asks if hes an outlaw and why he has so many guns and he sez hes a rancher

she wants to make sure he wont get iced and they b0ne outside as brando watches them and not9ces dad watching them like all that fanart of android 18 being b0ned by big ugly homies as krillin watches

the jolly rancher pirates jack horses in banana crammer Canada as church songs are sung andbrandotalks to jak all irish and shoots jacks vegetables and property and throws him the gun saying theres 1 shot left butjack pulls the trigger aimed at the floor and its empty

brando sez to get back to his pre farming work as his farming s=cked and as the jolly pirate ranchers come back with horss the mounties open fire on em, waste sme, and tske back the horses as 1 guy got his hand f;d

1 complains its not legal but they broke the law by stealing 1st

we see a rabbit hit by a getter tomahawk and brando is gonna cook it but sees beando i mean ack and brando runs as jacl chas to piano msic like a 0s show

wait its a joly rancher randy quaide and brando chats with him of going to the ranch andinvites him to eat his hare and not haur i men hair

after eating the hair u mean hare, randy gets sleepy and its reveale brando put poison in it and he starts b0ning randy's a55 and mouth

jk really they relax at night and brando devolvedly plays gitar and sings and they talk of things and when rady is asleep brando puts smetyhing in his moth

don't worry, its not his b0ner like wt h littlekyribohs wife, its a bug

later brando and randy cross a roveron horse and as randy crosse, brando jerks his... rope and pulls him off the horse to interrogate him but randy bites it

later the brand gets the randys horse and goes back to financer or w/e and poots be twling his interrogation target downed hiself in da river and asks of financers wife which makes him mad

and brando keeps f ing with him of his wife and financer sez to not spy on him

dog lover gets back and hatws on jack for taking care of the farm and sez randy didn't cme back andthey found a cartrdgr on his horse the brando put there and how daughters dad hored him

also brando plays Robert E Lee Clayton named after the American hero, but not sure  hen this is asbrando is a geezer and Lee was in the 1860s

jack confronts brando and eventually shoots a hole in the bathub brando was in  and daughter gets b--chy at financer over brando and how brando wangs to end jack who she liked but financer dad dont wanna stop him

dog lover wants to waste brando and jack the financer but jack dont wanna

later jack disarms a guy and takes financers horses and brando didn't stop em as he plans to get em in 1 swoop and  financer sez brandos outta control he a secks machine realdy to relod like an atom bQm, a bout to waoh waoh woah waoh waoh ex plQde!

later these guys eat dinenr and 1 guy sez he gunf a guy by the neck til he died

a guy is gonna b0ne  woman and gets capped an thw woman screams as her husband comes out

in this mining place one of the jolly ranchers gets iced and later jack buys a clarenete from a geezer and comes across his iced homie fro the mining area in an open coffin with a "do you know this man" sign and h's probably rotting nd stinks and full of microbe gas that'll burst ut the a55.

brandothrows a Molotov cocktail at a place and roasts i and a guy in there who runs flaming but after talking with 1 survivor he waks him with a metal x thing like the rabbit thing he used

jack comes back the very next day nd finds this place cooked and his droogs iced and feels bad and if he had only iced brando when he had the chance hed have prevented this like with spider man and uncle ben

t the night brando tries to gets the horse to kiss him and puts a long hard orange carrot in his mouth to make it smooch as i guess hes into zoo things

he talks to the horse and i think the i in lgtbqia2+map refers to interspecies and brando plays a harmonica and does a love song as the horse starts p-ssing

this is some weird fetish cr-p

brando then gets on a sheep skin like an 1800s fursuit nd behings sucking the horses long uncut weener

jk really he goes to sleep and wakes up to jack slicing his throat offscreen and brando gos to h-ll the final Friday

the brando gors to the financer and finds he's snapped and is a rooling vegetable so jack rbings in this gun and shows him

financers caretaker acts like his butt buddy and dont wanna be w/o financer and jack busts a window and dauhger sez sorry for everything and dont want him dead

then financer dad opens fire and hits jack but jack returns fire and wastes him but jack survives and goes back to ranching

daughter comes by and jack solf the ranch is and going off on his own with is cr-p on a wagon like the Beverly hillbillies and she dont wanna spend her life on revenge and they might start things up again in 6 months

the end

That was pretty good

it dont drag and holds interest and the acting is good

nice music and flming and its widescreen and colored

i hear brand did weird pranks like rubber spiders, eggs and mooning, but it was cool

some say the movie wasn't great and brando is kinda mumbly and devolved but despite that, i didn'y hate it

it does a good job and dont feel long and had a number of good moments

glad I saw this one, its worth a look

For The Missouri Breaks 2 I want the chck to come to see jack after 6 months in his new area but can't find him or anyone. she looks around and winds up in another realm wth sasquatch and finds they enslaved jack and are milking him of his male gender fluids for hybrud breeding and the chic has to save him and get out using sasquatch tech from before noahs flood and taking out enemies when no ones around. Also its a 128 bit game like Zelda but you gotta get to, sae, and esape with, jack and its on Dreamcast, GameCube, ps2 and xbox.