Looper Review

note; i spel;l ike futyure style
looper
this is my review on looper from the 2010s
its got joseph gordon levuitt from that live action g i joe movie and brice willis from dire hard
so it starts with joe in a field learning the evil language of french
a guy pops into his area and he caps him
he sez in 030 years there is time travel thats banned and its used by crooks
as law breakers are expected to follow the law
in the future its impossible to get rid of a body so they send em to the past to get whacked
hes a time hitman, a looper
the body has silver on it that he exchanges for cash
so the future is cr-ppy and slummy but not as bad as violence jack
he gives his homie a lift as his hover bike like in robotech wont start
also theres psychics now that can make small things float
jow goes to a bar or str-p joint or w/e and has a gf
also they are called loopers cuz if they are alive in 30 years, they get rid of their future self and evidence and send em back with a bunch of gold to get whacked
then i think joe does drugs as the film egts all f'd
next day he wacks another guy and more guys loops get closed(self iced)
btw in x men the 90s cartoon cable sez "when da gov made time trravel illegal, they also kept a few time machines"
reminds me of that
later its night and this guy he nows comes to him for help
he was sent a guy to ice but couldnt cuz he was singing a tune he liked and he knew it was him
theres a powerful new force in the future
the rainmaker
he's super deadly and is closing all the loops
joe lets guy stay in his floor as the forces come for guy
so jow is takes to this place and is told their guns are called blunderbuss's cuz you cant hit anything after 15 years but cant miss less than that\
oh and he seez the boss of the city
is that the guy from dumb and dumber?!
turns out curty bosss saved joe after joe outed their operation and gave him a chance to work for him instead of icing him
like kenichi from violence jack
and sez he can choose between giving up half his stash of silver or his guy who needs him
and if his future self is around in our time it could f things up
city boss wants joe to avoid soviet france cuz hes from the future
he gives up his guy and future guy starts losing fingers and gets words carved in his arm as past scars
he goes to where the words told him to go and they ice him
oh and his legs come off too
they just unexist
his nose too
they mutilated his past self so they would get his future self there
won't that f up the time line?
then again, just going back should f it up
imagine if they were b0ning him and made his future self recall it?
then joe goes to ice another guy but the futrue is late
then bruce willis comes back
he blocks the shot with the gold on his back and throws a gold brick at him to0 stop more shots
then slugs him out and gets away
btw city boss sez "people r like spiders, the little ones you gotta watch out for"
that will come back later
at joes home the guy who came for other guy (he's called blue kid like from violence jack) attacks but joe escapes
then we see the unaltered timeline where joe killed bruce, and lived his life
he went to soviet china and did drugs
then got into crime and turned into bruce willis
he met a black woman and they fell in love
wait, she's asian
i misremembered it
after 30 years the rainmaker attacks and ices his woman
even though the whole point of loopers is that its impossible to get away with killing someone
he busts outta his cuffs and takes out the peoprle about to send him back and goies back uncuffed and the movie retutns to its thing
at night bruce saves joe
i think
i'm not sure as its dark and i;m talking to my gf and editing something
later its day and they meet at a diner
they talk about time and life and possible futures
timelines and burces memories become clear or cloudy the morte of less likley they become and he rememberes what joe does after he does it
so what if joe gets into being b0ned by guys to turn brue gay?
bruce tells joe abotu how the woman who saves him is really good and she bit it after she made a noise when the rainmakers goons came for bruce and one capped her on reflex
in 6 months rainmaker took over everything and executed many
he has a syntethoc jaw and saw his mom getting capped and hes closing loops
bruce got info on him asnd is gonna trerminator him as a kid to save hi future love
joe suggests showing him the picutre and he's avoid her and she'd be safe by not meeting him
just like in thre butterfly effect
bruce don't wanna and they fight
then goons come in and bruce wacks em and they ecsape
joe gets on a hovercycle and drives away
he gets away by a farm and the chick there pulls a gun on him but hes in the cornfriend and she dont see who it is
she iced several hobos and i think the laws on murder are different in that near future
like with the unborn in canada and korrea
blue kid has failed city boss too many times and he busts kid's hand with a hammer
imagine if he did that to his parts?
at night he comes up to her and she shoots but f's up and falls
joe falls and barfs and is having withdrawl from not getting his drugs
her kid helps him
she helps jow and bruce is having trouble remembering his woman
later she wants joe off but he dont wanna go
he has info on a page he got from bruce but she recogiznes it and shoots him in the chest with rock salt
rock warriors! sand blast them!!
he tels her the story and that if bruce ices her kid, the rainmaker wont happen, he wont be sent back and he;d be with his woman
but the kid i innocent now
is this a pro life movie?
bruce then caps a kid on a house who was on the list of peope who might be the rainmaker
is that a ref to king harod?
btw despite brucre killing kids, he's not really the good or bad guy as hes doing it for love yet still taking innocent life
and joe isnt a good guy as he's an a55 hole
btw start wars did this 1st with anakin chopping up jedi kids to save padme in ep 03
so mom tells kid to be carefil of joe and kid is kind and helpful
but kid spends time with joe and is quite smart
kid wants to stop bad things from happening
alaso mom wasnt kids real mom and just looks after him
kids real mom got iced and che wasnt strong enuff to save her
mom reveals to joe shes actually kidds real mom who let her sister on da farm raise him and kid thought she was his mom
double retcon
like psycho 2 and 3
later the kid goes mental and his psychic powers activate and she hides in a safe in the closet
so its like akira?
who was this kids dad?
prosesser x?!
so later kid sez sorry and after dat a man coms by moms farm looking for joe and bruce
kid helps joe escape and hide in tunnels his grandpa made
joe reveals his mom sold him to a gang or something and he escaped on a train but didnt save her as a guy gave him a gun
oh and the film is set in 2044, around the time of rthe 3rd robotech war
and is written and directed by the guy who made star wars 08
then joe b0nes mom and shes revealed to be psychic
she sez when she 1st saw kid after leaving him, he lood at her bad and she abandoned him
but as long as she's alive, he's gonna be looked after
then guy who came by b4 has mom at gunpoint and kid sees
guy points gun at kid, he falls down da stairs and mom gets joe out as kids powers blow the place
oh and bruce got joes memory and saw that kid is the rainmaker
mom sez if she can raise him right and he can conrtrol it, he can be good
also its implied he blew away her sister
joe comforts kid who's coated in the blood of the guy he used his powes on, implying he blew him apart
also now the gang knows where joe is
a kid bluey brings in bruice to city bosses place and bruce gets free and wastes everyone
bad a55
hes like the terminator
years of experience made him superior
blue kid survives somehow and sees the map of the farm
bruce faces joe over if the kid should live and kid blue comes in on a hoverbike
joe shoots the ground to make dust and caps kid blue as he gos by cuz hes a j-rk off
mom drives kid but bruse shoots at em so kid uses his powers to flip the truck
they get out and run to the corn and bruce is after em
mom falls and tells kid to run but bruce gets kid in the face
is just a cut on the cheek
kid uses his powers to go dbz ki power up and lift bruce
mom tells kid she loves him and he calms enuff to stop his floating
she sends kid to the fiends and bruce is gonna ice her standing in front of his path
joe sees the possible future where bruce kills her and kid becomes the rainmakler outta revenge
a circle of hate
so joe ends the circle
and blows a hole in his chest
bruce unexists and kid and mom survuive
that was powerful
i'm kinda choaked up and teary eyed
ultimate love
the end
that was grand
i can see why they got rian johnson to do star wars
yeah evryone hatws the new movies but this was good
its more about the people than the sci fi time travel
i can see his becoming a classic like starship tropers or total recall
its got good themes of love and sacrifice
sorta like a lon chaney film
theres not really a good or bad guy
just sides fighting for what they see as right
sorta like robotech
i liked this
and that ending
nowadays films try to have sequels or always have positive endings
this was its own thing and does it well
plus all the little things that come into effect later
like watching out for little spiders as the kid is kittle but deadly
for looper 2 i want the crimelords to have regained control and are taking out anyone who gets in their way. the kid from the 1st movie is now a teen and has gained more control over his powers. His jaw was damaged and had to be replaced so now he's got a metal jaw and he can use his esp powers to block gunfire and bust through people like spears. he decides to take on the criminals after his friend is turned inside out and left on the sidewalk after crossing the crimelords. also its a 16 bit action game on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as the kid and use ur powers to bust through guys with a shield button and a spear button and a jump buton and you fight cyberized guys and people who are mutated with animal dna to become furries.

The Thaw Review

Note: I spell better than globval warming exists
The Thaw
This is my review on the thaw from 2-009
Its got Val Kilmer, aaron ashmore(brother of the guy from x men and animorphs) and Kyle Schmid from Vrius, I was a 6th grade alian, degrassi next gen and thre pacifier
also its got garry chalk from beast wars and freddy vs jason as a radio voice
so it startz with val talking to da camera about sacrifice
ritual sacrifce 8 stars of monsters to ritual summon dark master zork in attack mode!
then it shows a chick with a head hole with a parasite in it
it gows out but deeper in her head
then garry optimus primal chalk bashes lies about global arming
note; with the media promoting it, omnly 46% of people believe in it
but 48% of people believe in creationism, even with the media bashing it and promoting evolution
so creationism is literally more believable than global warming
as 48 is more than 46
plus when you factor in the media propaganda, that makes it more so
so then val and homies watch a polar bear and 1 guy caps it
it runs at em but stops offscreen
next time use a machine gun
metal slug guy; heavy machine gun!
turns out it was a dart gun and they study the bear
its doing cr-ppy
their indian guide shows them a mammoth frozen in da ice
then val's video is shown to college kids to turn em commie
3 of em get to go up to alaska to help his cr-p
then val calls his teen daughter evil lynn i mean evelyn and she'ds all b--chy over some cr-p he did years ago
he invites her up to the frozen wastelands of soviet alaska
later this nerd talks to a black chopper pilot
black guy in a horror movie?
well thats the end of him!
val calls black guy and tells him to pick someone up
then this blonde chats to val in da tent over the frozen mammoth about telling people to stay away
then evil lynn comes by and black guy tells her that val told her to stay away
she gets in the choppa anyway and they go up
aaron from animorphs talks to her on the trip about her dad val doing eco attacks against pipelines
back at camp val shoots his dog
good
their kind dont belong on our blue and pure world
oh and blonde barfs
i think they got aids
so on the chopper trip aaron talks with a guy over how much time they have to save the world
listen to me or everyone dies
good sign of a hero
so thry get 2 da base and its off
no power or heat
use ur ki
also it stinks
So animorphs has issues with his dad and wants to go on eco gee haad
so evie and animprphs find a dead polar bearthat stunk up the place as the power returns
aimorphs takes a photo of black guy posing with the bear and something bites black guys arm
then val berrys his group in the dirt of alaska
blonde answers the radio while hes out and its evie
she tells blonde the students are at the base and blonde puts val on
he tells her to stay at da base
oh and black guy heard a gunshort b4 val berried his homies
so when val chacks on blonce she caps him with a shotgun and then the last guy left
thasts for batman forever!!
so at night the asian girl and 6th gade alian guy b0ne but thers a bug there and it freaks him out
hes racist against bugs
there are good bugs
like spiders and dragonflies and footlong centipedes
so the next day black guy is scratching his bite and its got a wound on it
thi is turning into naked and afraid
aka; dante's inferno gx
as its a new generation of naked people suffering
so then they find blonde at the camp in a vehicle or something and she's all f'd
evie calls her dad but hes not fully dead as he's still moving
btw howard hughs i mean howie mandell got ocd after gettign a bug bite and parasitres and it f'd him out
maybe that 6th grade alien guy has it too?
what caused his phobia?
probably had a foot long centipede crawl up his a55
oh and the chopper was f'd and black guy needs a few hours to fix it
so blonde starts barfing blood and bites it
asian tries mouth to mouth but it dont work.
wait i think its evie
6th grade alien has them seal the room blonde bit it in with duct tape
evie and animprogs go off on a speeder bike from mega man x or w/e to the camp site of val
at camp they find a frozen mammoth in a ice with bug eggs on it and moving parasites
animprphs sez a wood frog can stay frozen over a winter but this is 20 000 years old
so doesnt that mean its probably not 20 000?
maybe like after noah's flood?
evie finds val berried in dirt and tries digging him up but animprphs stops her
she still hates him cuz she's a b--chy teen
later 6th grade alien pees and has issues
he thinks he got something from his gf he was b0ning
but shes f'd too
so animporhs and evie return and animpoprhs tells black guy blonde capped everyone
6th grade alien calls for help
evie checks blonde and she's all rotted with eggs on her body
burn her!!
then a bug comes outaa her eye
they take her to da lab and she checks the bear and its got eggs too
animporhs wonders how long they stay as larva
sounds like he's gonna use them for his own gain like that guy in mega man x and the sigma virus
they figure out the eggs have infected the asian and black guy
evie wants to contact disease control
6th grade alian guy caps the radio and sez hes in charge
this is seeming a lot like john carpenters the thing
so asian teen is all f'd and barfs
this is turning into naked and afraid
they put her in a room and check her and shes got eggs coming outta her gut
then in da polar bar wroom is a swarm of bugs
so black guy cuts into his arm and its all rotted
so he makes a left arm offering
i missed a bit as i was testing my cloudian deck vs my D HERO Deck but someone goes in the bear room with full body covering and the parasites come for her
its evie and she gets out and takes off her clothes to gte the bugs off
1 almost goes in a cut on her but alimorphs pulls it out
6th grade alien makes her take it all off to do a body check
we dont see her nips
so later they talk about what could happen if the buigs get off the island
its on an ilsanad?!
also, would'nt global warming be good as it would flood the area and kill the bugs??
then a bug is out with em
they chack on the bodies and they are totally covered in bugs like oogie boogie in nightmare before christmas
then they see asian gurl struggling with parasitrs in her room from the vents and she's banging on the door to get out
he caps her through the glass
this is a lot like the scene in the thing where they had to wonder if macready was one of em when he was outsode and wanted in
oh and the parasites are in black guys arm stump
btw despite the room havign parasites in i swarming around a few seconds ago, after 6th grade alien capped her they are gone
black guy goes into the room with aisan teen to die
btw were already 90 mins in with adds
this went by qquick
so evie knows 6th grade alien has bugs on him and hes gonna cap her
but val kilmer comes back from h-ll and caps him
btw the bugs were in his b0nar
so they decide to torch the place but as they spread the gasoline evie realizes val knew of the bugs
she watches a video of val infecting hmself with a parasite and using his body as a sacrifice to get people to do something about global warming
he did it to cause a disaster and kill a lotta people to get people motivated to fight glbal warming
what is this!? the watchmen!?
this seems like something Sigma would do in mega man x
so the new chopper comes and val gets on it
i think he locked em in there but they easily get out and animprohs gets on the leg of the chopper
he falls and val sez they are infected and chopper gotta leave em
evie gets a rifle and takes out the chopper like its contra
it blows and she checks on animporhs who bites it
he tells her to get her dads notes out and this is the beginning
guess he wasn't a virgin
oh and the base burns from the chopper blowing
just like in the thing from the 80s
so she gets in a chopper and i dont think she knows how to fly it as it just cuts away to more choppers coming and her still there
then she gives a speech about how we need to change to stop doing bad cr-p and something abou val kilmers sacrifice
oh and the medics find and save her
then this fisher is listening to optimuis primal bashing evie's dad and the idea she saved the world on the radio
fishermans dad i mean dog eats a birg that had the parasite and they go back to the city
the end
that was pretty good
it had some good parts and themes
good effects
good pacing
good body horror
decent acting and good use of music
this got cr-ppy reviews but i thoguht it was ok
its not as epic as the thing but its not awful
yeah it rips off john carpenter and mega man x but those were good
streets of rage ripped off final fight and it was good
i thoguht it was good
and i'm not even into global warming
but i watch time travel movies and dont whine about how unscientiffic they are
unless they totaly screw up the time travel like the yugioh 3d bonds beyond time movie
for the thaw 2 i want it to be about an outbreak at the city where the guy and his dog went to. the people fight to survive but there are a few holy people who are immune. turns out, the bugs are aliens, or rather space daemons, and have come from h-ll in space to take out the human race. and the righteous people who don't swear or drink or use drugs or b0ne are immune. also he parasites control the people and make them turn into grotesque abominations of flesh and muscle and exoskeleton parts. and its up the the righteous to fight em with holy ki attacks. its also a 16 but beat em up on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as up to 4 rightous people and fight the infected.

Taken Review

note; I spell unfrench, but better than French
taken
this is my review on taken from 2008 or w/e
its got liam neeson and xander Berkley from candy man 01 and jon gries from napoleon dynamite
its written by the Frenchie who did transporter and directed the 5th elemnt
so leem buys a singing thing for his teen daughters birthday
but at the party his ex woman is kind of a b--ch
mom don't want girl to be a singer and has an expensive party and her step dad gives her a big black horse
later his droogs come by for beer and they say he nearly got em iced by skipping out on a mission to go to her birthday lomg ago
then they need him to bodyuguard some pop bimbo for a concert
nexrt day they bring her in and liem asks her for advice on becoming a singer
singer sez dont be 1
is this like with minmei in robotech?
at da concerty his gurl cals and wants lunch with him tomorrow
later some maniac fans get in and 1 guy pulls a knife
liim beats his a55 and saves her
to thank him, she gives him the number of her voice coach
later girl and ex woman lunches with liim to get consent to let her go to soviet france for a vacation with a friend
liam dont like it but the chicks get b---chy and he consents
also ex woman b--ches at him over how he's foolish to think soviet paris is dangerous
back in the 1800s my grandpa's great grandma was at home in slovenia and some frenchie came in and tried b0ning her
her husband killed the frenchie and threw his body outside
later the frenchies found out and killed him
she later married my grandpa's greatgrandpa and tarted the family lineage
plus theres dominique strauss khan, the SVU Pepe le pew@
that guy who tried b0ning maids
so later liem finds out girl is gonna be following u2 around soviet europe and lied to him to get his consent
shouldn't that negate it and mean ahe cant go?
so she goes to paris with her friend and they meet a frenchie
he gets em to share a taxi and they go to the place her friend and her stay
they are alone there as friends cousin's fam is in soviet madrid
he invites em to a party and calls someone aying "2 girls around 18" and their location
also friend wants to b0ne the frenchie
5kank!
liem cals but she's rocking out to bad music with friend and she calls him back
she tels him the cousins are in spain
then some guys come in and catch friend
she sees and liem tels her to hide as he sets up recording cr-p
he tels her to tell him what she sees when they catch her and she told him of frenchie
she tells their stats as they catch her and he ells em over da phone if they let his girl go he wont kill em

guy sez good luck and hangs up
leim goes to ex woman and tells him he knows her new man had shell companies and bad deals with soviets
huh, the chick who played chrisrtie in DOA Dead Or Alive is the singer in here
so liems droog scans da tape and finds the guys catch female travewlers and sell em as secks slaves
they have 96 hours to save her
\
this is why i stay in the 1st world
so liem goes to soviet france to save his girl
the cheetahmen ran off and now the cheetahmen
he listens to the tape over and over
at the place they gor grabbed he crawls around the outer wal and looks around for clues
he trax do3wn frenchie and atacks him as he's about to get into a cab with a blonde
but a bystander tries to stop him so he kicks the guys a55 and drives after frencies
frenchie jumps off a bridge and onto a truck but on the road another truck kills him
one less problem without him!
a high rank frenchie confronts loin over his damage and ilim sez he'd tear down the eifle tower to save his girl
good
if i had to choose between some 3rd world continent getting nuked or my gf getting iced, i'd let the 3rd world get nuked
later liem asks a guy to translate albanian to english and talks to a h00ker and her p-mp hassles him
heis grabbed by p-mp but puts a tracker on him
this wouldn't happen if we sided with zee kaisesr
he goes to car and translarot tells him what they ar saying
he tells trnaslator to get out and gets an albanian english dicktionary
btw, a white adult straight american male being cool and tough and right and awesome is a breath of fresh air from modern day cr-p
nowadays he'd be the bad guy
so liem goes to this slum and theres junkies or 5kanks there and he sees his girls jacket
the girl with i dot knoew english and liemn beats a guy guy who came at him
then more guys
is this double dragon?
bimmy and jimmy gotta save the chick who was captured
maybe final fight and liem is mike haggar
lien gets out and drives away, knockin over a garbage can on fire, which spreads fire, then blows
theres a car chase and crash and liem is getting the junkie w/o english out
i this like violence jack slumking where kenichi has to save his gf?
in da car chase, 1 guy gets is head taen off by crashing into a bulldozer blade
he aint gonna be in taken 2
or maybe he'd be a brain in a jar like in streets or rage 3
liim hot wires a car and goes somewhere to chat with a guy who sez his wife is in charge of him
women are the more manly frenchies
also he gives medical care to the no english grl
then he goes to meet high rank in da park but only chats by phone
they track his signal and want him brought in
turns out, he was talking in 1 phone to another phone next to a 3rd phone so threy went to the wrong place when they tracked him
dont trust da gov
good advice
later no english wakes up and liem sez shes being filled with medication to counter her drugs
she knows some englidh and sez she got jacket from daughtewr at a party
he goes to where she had party and acts like a gov agent
he meets with the higher ups and sez he's here to negotiate the rate and the guy they dealed with b4 was moved
he tell em off about their being bad guys who take advantage of the counry that took em in
nowadays he'd be made to be the bad guy for dat
he gives em a paper to translate and the guy sez good luck
from this liem recognizes him and sez he talked to him b4
then he fights/wastes em
he looiks for girl but finds friend
shes bit it from drugs
then he tortures the guy with electric shocks to get info
cook him and feed him to his droogs
he sez he sold liims daughter for a lot of cash cuz she was A VIrgin
that money is doing em a lot of good now
in h-ll!!
liem then cooks th guy by turning the power on and leaving
good
he won't be going woody allen on any little girls now
later liem goes to see high rank guy at his home with his wife and kids
turns out high rank guy is involved in it and he pulls a gun on him
but liem has the bullets somehow and liem caps high rank's woman in the arm
then threatens to waste em both if he lets his kid bite it
nowaday's he'd be seen as the bad guy for this
so after getting the info he slugs out high rank frenchie and goes to the place with head bad guy
he gets in by shoving the frenchie at the door into an elevator and beating him dead
then going onto other floors and taking out more guys
he brings booze to a buyer of girls and tey bring in his girl in a slave outfit
liem pulls a gun on buyer and makes him buy her
they go out to get her but liim is knocked out from behind
btw had she not been a virgin, she'd be f'd dead and drugged up by now
good thing she's not a 5kank like her iced friend
liem sez hes her dad and the head bad guy sez hes a dad too but cares more for business
he leaves and his men try to strangle liam but he breaks out of his bondage and kills em
he then caps head bad guy a few times and gets the info where his girl is b4 finishing him
so liem goes after em in a car and drives off abridge onto their boat
so he takes everyone out and fnds the bad guy holding his girl at knifepoint.
liam takes him out david vs goliath style (head shot) and he brings her home.
then he brings his girl to meet th4e singer he saved at the start
the end
that was cool
bad a55 fights and manliness
i liked hoew the mom and teen were shown to know less than the dad and he fixes things
its like the opposite of modern things
its got an easy to follow plot
and the hero isnt afraid to ice people
its like a stalone or arnold movie
back when heroes had chutzpa
plus it warns of the dangers of going to bad countries
my cousins go to mexico sometimes
yeah most of the time its safe
but every now and then, someone gets it
like russian roulette
which is safe 5/6x
for taken 2 I want it to be a few years later and she's a popular singer but a demented fan comes after her. Turns out, her songs are really lusty and she dresses like a p0rn0 star in music videos and theres a bunch of people so enthralled by her looks, they cant help themselves. And its up to liam to take em on and fight em off at concerts as her bodyguard. also its a 16 bit beat em up on snes, sega genesis and atari jaguar with 1 layer as liem and 1 as his homie.

Mission Impossible Review

note; I never aw any of these movoies before plus i'm not a fan of tom cruoise so imma spell vad

mission impossible

this is my review on mission impossible from 1996

its baased on a 60s show I never watched

just like wild wild west

and was made into a big budget 90s movie with a big star and more action

just like wild wild west

and people complain how all movies nowadays are remakes of tv shows

cant wait for dat big budget Robotech movie

hope they don't screw it up

ewww its widescreen

hald da screen is black bars

so it starts in the soviet union where a guy watches video of some soviets being soviets

1 guy sez the name of a guy and they knock him out with poison vodka

turns out the soviet guy was tom cruise in a mask and he saves a drugged out girl in the room

then an opening with a fuse burning and high rapid edits

its by brian de palma and has jon Voight and ving rhames and vanessa redgrave

music by danny elfman?

make up by rob bottin?

but he was the thing!

so Voight gets a mesasage saying this thing of code names and a thing of real names are in danger

the code names are jacked but its useless w/o the real names list

and they gotta get it back

vpoight tells his teem including tom crooz about da mission and assigns jobs

if they don't get it back then their agents will get iced

also tom gets red/green gum that if u mush the colors together it blows

So they go to a dinner party and try to go after a confederate sounding governor

they have a guy chat with him and match his voice or fingerprint or something

wait

I think the confederate is one of them in disguise

they put glasses with a camera in em in a forbidden area to watch him use a computer

tom and a chick go to the roof to fake making out

1 tech guy on top of an elevator loses control of the elevator and gets skewered by the ceiling spikes like in mega man when it goes up

he aint gonna be in mission impossible 2

so Voight goes out but is tailed

he wants to end the mission but tom goes on

I never saw this b4 but I wanna say jon vought is the secret bad guy

lie that guy in that mega man x game

then Voight gets capped and falls in da river

tom calls da mission off and as the chic goes in her car it goes up

someones picking off costumed heroes

then another chick gets shanked and another guy gets it

tom flees the cops

tom calls his superiors and tells em his team got iced

also the other half of the code got out

tom meets him and is bummed

wait, that sounds wrong

he knows somethings up and only now knows there were agents all over the place

turns out; the whole mission was a hunt to find da mole

as one of their guys went bad

and as tom survive they think hes a mole

also his fam has money now after losing a lot

he uses the gum to blow an aquarium and escape in slo mo

he goes to a bathroom and apartment and does research

he finds a bible quote and uses it to send a message to a guy

they chat for a bit and later Voight comes back to him

but its really a chick who went up in da car

that made no sense

she sed she wasnt in the car

retcon!!

btw the group was sent on a suicide mission knowing only the bad guy would live

sacrificing the innocent? sounds like something done by soviet England

like Churchill letting leslie howard get iced

so tim wants to let the mole think hes got the other half so he'd find him

then tom gets a message from the guy

he meets some guys and is taken to a place with a face covering to meet the mole named max like high max from mega man x or max sterling from Robotech or montana max from tiny toons or mighty max

but he isn't allowed to meet him yet

he wants 150 000 $ and tells em the item they got is rigged to send a track to the forces if checked

they don't trust him and try it but book it when the forces come

oh and this female there is Maxine and wanted the mole to get it for 6 million $

he dals with her to let him meet mole and he'd gve her the list

also car chick who survived wants revenge on whoever iced vioght

Voight was her husband despite being 50 yeers polder than her

spo tom meets with ving rhames to have him hack the thing to get the names

you know, it would be better if we didn't know if tom was the mole and his actions were implied to b him being the bad guy

but we cant have tom cruise as the bad guy

except when hes b0ning brad pit into vampirism

so they go into this base and tom stops the frenchie from Godzilla from shanking a guy who asked where the 3rd guy of them was

chick puts fluid into a guys drink from a pen and puts a small item on his back

tom goes through da vents and uses gadgets to disable a laser grid and lower himself into the room on a cable

oh and Frenchie is handling his cable

poisoned guy goes to the vault and don't notice tommy above him as he takes some pills and barfs

they gave him aids!!

he leaves the barf in a bucket to stink up the area and goes to da terlet to barf more

tom logs into poisoned guys computer uses the guys code ving gave him

meanwhile a rat goes in da vents and disturbs Frenchie who drops tom who nearly hits the floor

what a candy a55

tom catches a drop of sweat from his glasses 

the Frenchie gets him out but his knife falls and poisoned guy comes back and sees the computer just dl'd the other part of the code

they escape and tom keeps the data from Frenchie

he don't trust the chick so he gives it to ving rhames

don't trust him!

esp after pulp fiction

then the news sez they caught tom but it was someone the6y called tom

also it was over drugs

wait, it was his fam

false charges against the innocent?

I think these guy are the bad guys

he hangs up just before they track his call but they know hes in soviet England

also jon Voight is back somehow

again

tom figures out jon voigt was the bad guy the whole time who iced everyone

oh and Frenchie was workin for him

huh, in each time they show the car going up it looks different

more or less fire

oh and this guy called Kittridge is the bad guy here

so on a train he let the Maxine get the disk list and it wont transmit cuz ving did something with it

ving laves and the datya starts transferring

also Kittridge is on da train and chick goes to this dark place with Voight

she tells Voight to blame tom and get away and voightb takes off his face and its tim

then real Voight comes out with a gun and its revealed tom knew Voight was da mole as he took the bible from the hotel and it was stamped

hen tom reveales he had the camera glasses out and their boss saw him alive

Voight beats down tom and when tom wakes up the roof is open

he goes up and theres a chopper after em and he crawls across da roof of da train like ernest evans on sega genesis/cd after jon voiht

they fight and the train and copper gos in a tunnel

the connection to transfer is dropped

btw a train I a tunnel with john Voight?

its speed 01 all over again

oh and Frenchie is in da chopper nd used the same knife in all his killings through the movie and tom hanks knew it

tom uses the boom gum and blows the chopper and lands safe on the train with a spike about to neck him

so things are settled and everything is set right

oh and the news covered up the chopper in the train as an accident

the end

that was ok

not bad

good action

but not too much

good suspence

good last minute things like him being caught at the last second b4 getting chopped up or w/e

I can see why so many things parodied it

I enjoyed it

no tacked on sad moment

no forced romance subplot

good effects

simple plot

its got good pacing and don't drag

not a bad film

glad I finally saw it after over 20 years

for mission imposible 2 I want him to have to assassinate a guy his bosses say s dangerous but he finds out the guy is the good guy about to expose the evils of his bosses. so tom sees why Voight turned on the group and sides with his target. but he doesn't let it be known by his bosses hes gone rogue and sneaks around setting up traps for when he's gotta take em all out in 1 move. its also a stealth game on gba, snes, sega genesis, Atari jaguar and tg16 where you play as tom and gotta plant traps w/o being seen and set up meetings with guys to have them in the right places.

Snow Day Review

Note: In soviet canada, ewverty day is a snow day

snowday

this is my review on snowday from the early 00s

its by nickelodeon when they were good

so chevy chase is a weatherman and hates his job

and its a warm winter and the principle is BBQing

a kid nails him with a snowball from last year

whenever its warm in any area they promote global warming

but when its cold, they say "just because its cold now dont mean theres no global warming"

also this teen is into this female teen but she dont know he exists

hes the narrator played by ferris bueler

he falls in da pool and finds her necklace

huh, she was cheetara in the 2011 thundercats

and was in the crow 4

so teen comes home and his snowball throwing sister is playign with his he man knock off toys

oh and chevy chase is their dad

so chevy gives girl a lucky snow globe

later teen wants to talk to his crush over the necklace but queers out

girl wishes for snow on the globe

and it happens

in her room

but its not real

but then chevy at work gets work theres a sudden snowstorm

the next day it snowed a lot and its a snow day

but the evil snow plow man comes by in his mad max machine and bad teeth and scuzzy look

he has a pet bird and chases kids in his plow

dumba55 kids playing in da road!

girl wants to get 2 snowdays in a row

even in soviet canada we never had 2 in a row

and teen wants to win the girl he likes

While going to his car, princilpe is nailed a lot by kids snow balls

later the girl and her droogs are in a snowcave they totally had time to dig out, rig with lights and put a tv/ps1 in

the mr plow comes by and they gotta book it

they bulit it in the road!?

freekin idiots!!

they throw a snowball at him and get him in the face

he stops his plow and the kids go near

then freak out as he wakes up and his truck stars

is he connected to his machine like in escaflowne?

he busts theoir snow base with they used an escape tunnel slide to get outta

they had time to make that too?

also it was actually on the grass

meanwhile, all the guys in town are trying to win the crush

what is she? yuria from hokuto no ken?!

but the alpha male who wants her comes in on his snowmobile and drives em away

teen notices crush watches his dads channel

also dad is on location dressed as a snow man (cultural appropriation?!) and teen goes to see him as he sleds down a hill fast to early 00s music

he says on the air he knows her fave things and wants her to give him a chance

chevy understands why his son did this as she "gets his blood running"

is that a b0ner ref?

oh and alpha male broke up with crush b4

but now they are riding together on his snowmolbile

he follows and it plays the song "there she goes"

meanwhile girl puts ketchup on her droog played by josh peck and he lays in the stree like a murder victim

mr plow gets out to check on him and steps on his gut, causing pooting

he eats the ketchup o him with fries which i;d like to see reedited as cannibalism

girl tries to take his keys but his bird attaks em

they steal his bird so mr plow catches josh peck

totally now against the law

the 90s were a more innocent time

nowadays they'd suspect him of b0ning the kid

later at the sk8ing rink, crush asks alpha male if he knows anythign of her and he don't

to stop the sk8ing rink guy from playing calm music, teens female homie lies to him about an 80s punk graphitiing a bathroom against his fave singer

teen says nice stuff to crush (who's named bonner like shriek if you know what i did last friday the 13th) and alpha male wants revenge on him for caring abotu a girl he says he likes

btw alpha male is played by David Paetkau from flashpoint and aliens vs predator requiem

so mr plow goes to girls home to find her saying he gives kids snowplow rides and its her turn

jposh peck is trying to get her attention but she dont get it as he s-cked at it

girl calls mr plow and black males him into giving them a 2nd snow day

he really care about his bird

i assume its his gf

interspeices romance?

its robotech all over again

wtf iggy pop from the crow 2 was the sk8ing rink guy

later mr plow comes to meet the girl with josh peck chained to his snowplow

i think mad max ripped this off in fury road

also teens female homie asks crush to give him a chance

eventually the bird flies to mr plow as there was nothing keeping it from coming and he goes off

teen dug a whale in the snow for crush as he thinks its her fvae animal

but she likeds zebras

then alpha male and his gang come in on snowmobiles to murder teen

but he loses attention and focus;s on crush and teen escapes on a snowmolime

theres a battle and chase and teen gets away

man this is mad max

oh and theres a subplot of chevy having a rivalry with annother reporter

he goes mental a few times and at an ice carving thing he accidentally busts a huge a55 statue

wtf this as rated 11+ in Norway

candy a55 country!

so girl gives up and her action figures have a stop motion pep talk about their 80s adventures to revive her spirit

why does meltar look like akima from street fighter?

also its got quite good stop motion in here

also teens female homie is into him and smooches him

also chevy exposes his rival as a sham as he knows sh-t about weeather and is just talking out his a55

later teen sees crush at the pool as shes addicted to diving

he tells her hes got mixed feelings about what girl to go with like in Robotech

so then its night and theres 1 street left to plow

but girl stands up to him for doing his job and getting the streets clean

you know, in case an ambulance or firetruck needs to get to the scene

then a horde of kids come out like orcs in lord of the rings and tie him to a sign

he has a monologue and says hes already won as hes already plowed the streets

but the kids jack his plow and are gonna unplow the streets to make another snow day

you know to do that they'd probably cause serious damage to property

the snow is on the road side and side walk and lawns

then they leave him to die in the cold

oh and alpha male attacks teen over the girl

but girl saves him by driving into him and trapping him in snow

in real life that would probably chop him up

btw these kids dont really know how to drive the plow and would probably cause serious damage

then teen goes to the rink to talk to female homie

she dont wanna talk, he falls, and makes her fall by grabbing her legs when she goes to him

in the real version she probably stepped on him in her skates

then narrator gives a speech about how snowdays can change your life and princilpe goes home and gets gang nailed by snowballs

then credits to cheerful 90s music

the end

i liked this

although critics hated it and it got low review scores

its got fun, heart, its mostly clean and rips off mad max

its sorta like the opposite of do the right thing

its set on a snow day instead of the hottest day of the year

its got a good message instead of an angry one

its fun and cheerful and positive

its a good slice of life movie thats just innocent and fun

it isnt long and goes by fast

its got good flow and pacing

sorta like the ten commandments

its enjoyable and doesnt ever drag

for snow day 2 i want it to be about them going around at night and unplowing the roads. but they keep tearing up the area around them. also there are weapons hidden in the plow like flamethrowers and lightening blast cannons. the cops eventually see this and try to stop em. but the kids go for broke and battle em. all to get one more day off school. its also a car battle game like the driving levels in technocop on sega genesis, snes, turbografix16, atari jaguar and gba and you play as either the cops trying to take out the plow and arrest the kids, or the kids trying to unplow the streets.

The Shock Review

Note; i spell better than calefornia does anything
the shock
this is my review on the shock from the distant future year of 1923
its got lon chaney who usually plays cripples who sacrifice themselves to sav the chick they love
its also got walter long who was gus in birth of a nation
its directed by Lambert Hillyer who also did the 1943 batman serial
and base on a story by william dudley pelly who was into some freeky M Bison stuff
so it starts in chinatown in soviet san fran sicko in a mandarin cafe of vice
lon chaney is there and is a bada55 who is called dangerous
in the cafe he gets a message i think in morse code to go to queen anns
he gets out on crutches as he always plays disabled guys
he goes to the evil underworld queen anns place who rules things there and is sent on a mission to fallbrook
man, young lon chaney looks like lon chaney jr
fallbrook is near there but dont have as much crime
while there he starts softening and made a friend whos a nice chick
for once in his life hes happy
also she helps him come to terms with his disability
but he hasnt told her of his crime past
but she dont care as we can make a good future irregardless of an past
she gives him a book called "right thoughts" which nowadays would be politically correct sodomy
wait
she gave him her moms bible
and gives him hopeful positive words
so the chick's dad is the leading banker in town
also he dont like lon chaney
later lon chaney goes to see the chick but she has a bf and it tears him apart
he starts to leave but she catches him and chats
bf's dad owns the general store
lon looks bummed and has given up
he was a great actor
you can really see it in his face how hes all busted up
oh and chick is engaged to bf
lon supports bf as he wants chick to be happy
but if he dont, lon's gonna b0ne him dead
at night dad gets a call from queen anne and she knows hes been stealing from his bak for her
she tells him not to run as shes got a guy there for weeks
and when the bank examoner comes, he's going to jail like how he sent her there years b4
dont drop the soap
lon is conflicted as he dont wanna f up the girl he likes but cant go against queen anne as she'll have him wacked
lon goes over to da bank and tells dad he works for queen ann
but b4 he can say anymore, dad knocks his dead a55 out and runs off
meanwhile, chick worrys abotu dad and goes to da bank
but lon woke up and set up dynamite and is trying to get out b4 it blows
but he's crippled so its rough
he gets out but sees chick and bf there and it goes off and the wall crushes her
bf digs her out and everyone in town comes by
chaney is busted up over what he did to her, the only one who was nice to him
bfs dad tells him to dump her and dr tells lon that she's crippled
unless she gets surgery
also dad wants to use lon chaney to his advantage
he tells lon he knows lon did it to save him
and he wants to see queen ann
dad was gonna marry her but he found out shes a b--ch and outed her to the cops
now she wants revenge
10 years ago she tricked him to sign stuff that could send him to jail
she black maled him and he had to pay and to pay he stole from da bank
cuz the bank blew theres no bank evidence
but he needs to get the documents back from queen ann so they wont be used against the chick
lon agrees to take on the evil queen elisabeth i mean ann out for him
meanwhile, the papers say a surgeon is coming for chick and her dad faces ruin
chick goes to get surgery and lon returns to queen anne
she grills lon over how the bank blew and how the daughter is gonna recover
and how hes happy
she sez shes gonna f up his daughter to get to dad
btw this queen ann is pretty evil
no redeeming traits
shes just bad to the bone
like the witch in the wizard of oz
or megatron in transformers
nowadays we can't have female vilians unless its got a girl fighting her
plus in soviet canada, women weren't considered persons under the law until after sound movies came in
but here a strong and evil woman isnt usually what people think of being a thing in the 20s
so lon looks for the documents in queen anns place
he finds a vault behind a picture and in a hidden passage comes queen anns men
lon cant get to the box its in cuz hes crippled and its too high
meanwhile bf breaks up with chick
lon gives up and uses a phone to call bf and tells him to meet him at the mandarin cafe after midknight
queen anns men tell her about lon and she sez to not interfere as she can she this
later at da cafe he tells bf he needs him to reach the safe
he dont care as he dumped her but lon makes him as hes a p o s candy a55
at da cafe queen ann has her goons get them
qeun an wants bf to call chick down there for her to f up
lon trys to stop em but hes criplled and cant
he still tries like with ironhide clinging to megatrons leg in the transformers movie
she tells bf to say lon was in an accident and for her to get in a cab
he tells her and she comes
she tells chick her dad ruined her life and now shes gonna take it out on her
and its cuz of lon she has her
she orders chick to be taken to her place until she comes and lon attacks but gets his dead a55 kicked
chick is taken away and lon prays for a miracle
then then God smites san fran sodom with an earthquake and the house chick nearly went into goes into the sea off a cliff
good effects showing the city f--king out
lon celebates as they all go to h-ll
then comes the flames
but somehow lon survives and recovers from getting crushed in a building
just like wat happened with the girl
the film ends with lon and chick together outside and on can walk again
i guess getting crippled 2x uncrippled him
like how a negative X a negative make a positive
or 2 wrongs make a right
the end
that was really nice
and for once, lon chaney gets a happy ending
9/10x he bites it and norman kerry or whoever the other guy is gets the girl
but this is the odd one out
i liked this
good simple story
good effects
good acting
good characters
the bad guy is a woman and has no redeeming values
even in anime they usually give the bad guy some god past or something like in wedding peach or sailor moon
here its more like cutey honey how the bad guy is just bad
lon chaney is great as always and the other characters fill their parts well
it doesn't show much of lon as a bad guy and goes right from intorducing him to reforming him
but it works
plus its only like an hour long
check this out if you can
and put it on the history channel
its set in 1906
for the shock 2 i want lon and the girl to have a family but it turns out that queen ann has survived and is a torso and head with spring and gear limbs connected to her and giving her some movement. she wants revenge and wants the chick's limbs for herself. so she sends her minions to catch her/ but lon is now more than recovered from his crippilage and is big and buff like hulk hogan. as is the chcik. they fight their way through waves of queen annes men in the partly rebuilt ruins of san fran sicko and work tehir way to her hidden lying base.its also a 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis and snes and turbografix16 and atari jaguar and gba and you play as either lon or the chick and beat people up.

Carnosaur Review

note; my spellings is as good as this film is reviewed
carnosaur
this is my review on carnosaur from 1993
its a mockbuster made to capitalize on the popularity of Jurassic park
it came out just before it and I think made money
its by roger corman who's awesome and stars no one I heard of
oh wait, clint howard is in it
after quick credits and title, we get credits to chickens in a factory and dna cr-p
so this is based on a novel just like Jurassic park
written and directed by adam simon
Is his middle name Samuel?
a s simon
so then people in a dark power rangers like room r talking about some chick who is god at science and wiped out a species or something
hope it was dogs
they s-ck
then years ago she vanished
her contract gives her undisturbed secrecy and shes working on someyhing
btw his film its fullscreen so to top and bottom cut off by black barz
then in the chicken factory these guys are working on cr-p and this chick watches em on camera
they go in da chicken cage room and 1 chichen was eaten and has a huge a55 egg
it hatches and w/e came out sliced his face like ice dragon in dbgt
spoiler; chickens are vicious
they can skeletonize a mouse in seconds
in the 60s my mom was a kid in soviet Poland and this chicken tried cutting her up
she still has a scar
my grandma took its head off and they ate him
plus chickens are cannibals
when my dad was a kid on the farm, if a chicken died in the coop, the next day, picked clean!!
I had an idea for a law and order ep where they ice this guy with a soft tissue injury and put his body in the chicken coop
by the time the cops get there; no evidence
just a pecked skeleton
then they feed the chickens to the victims family!!
so the chickem factory has lockdown but 1 delivery guy gets through against orders
driver stops to check on em and gets iced by whatevers in there
good music and feels
its like prom night 4
then this rdneck/hippy is drunk and hears noises
redniekc; I got a gun and cant shoot for sh-t
he goes out, shoots, comes back , snipers something and finds its some blonde chick
he calls da cops and cops are busy at the drivers body and think it might be a bobcat who got him
bubsy no!!
later at an autopsy I think, this dr sends a wound sample in da mail to a guy
next day redneck fell asleep and the blonde got away
they find her at this wasteland area and redneck sezs she's not here
later this guy is having guys look for the thing that got out and his teen daughter/sister/wife or whatever goes out with her bf
lusty teens?
well that's the end of them!
so later blonde sez thanks to redneck for not outing her and gives him a friendship item
she sez her name is thrush and used to be ann
is this mad max?
or like captain planet with wheelers friend trish going by trash?
she goes on about dinosaurs and evolutionism
even though when you weigh the facts on both sides, creationism makes more sense
she's also an eco hippie who defends da urth from da evil corporations
how original
so the lusty teens drive drunk and nearly drive off a cliff
drunk lusty teens?
they totally aint gonna be in the sequel!
so 1 teen goes out to p-ss and the others b0ne in the car
then they all get shredded by the monster
turns out its a dinosaur
well here its not a theme park and the dino comes to the humans and not the other way around
so its not exactly like Jurassic park
deep blue sea is closer
so driver was tested for diseases and dna and its a match for chickens
killer chickens?
better than killer shrews
so the workers are out driving and 1 has a bada55 scar now
then redneck meets blonde and offers her a lift back
she rejex it but when he sez he's gonna be driving around if she don't she consents
so then they see the teen who was chopped up
wait, hes a Mexican
the workers find the thing but use a real gun instead of a dart gun
then it wastes em
they use a puppet for the monster and it looks better than cgi today
later dark room guys are eating pie and 1 guy sez the pie can stay fresh on a shelf for 18 months
so main dark room guy sez to keep the info down as he's almost got a senator to back down on regulations and a chicken attack scandal would f em
of he's feeding the senator pie
 then the chick (I think the scientist mentioned at the start) tells this probably mentally ret-rded guy his daughter is here and alive and he goes into a foggy red strobe light room
theres a strobe light and this huge t rex is there and it eats him
also is a laser grid to keep him in it
the t rex effect looks like in pee wees big adventure
then redneck sees a buncha hippies on the construction equipment and they don't wanna move
but its night and they wont start using em until daylight
he lets em stay and warns em against bobcats
get em bubsy!!
later redneck I think is at a diner and the people talk about the attack
1 guy sez its not a bobcat as they don't eat people and the driver had his eyes eaten like birds do
at the diner is this pregnant couple and 1 guy sez a he knew of guy who kept talking about something (I cant make out what he said as hes eating) with his heavily pregnant woman and when the baby was born it had antlers
then at the construction site this dinosaur eats the hippies on the vehicle
1 guys face is bit off and cuz the hippies and handcuffed to it, they cant get away
its good and gory
take that u tree suckers!
1 guy's hand is stuck on the chain he trapped himself on the truck with
redneck comes back and everyones dead
the gore effects are actually cool
a dr tells cop that the killings are the same as the driver
its the same animal but each attack is deeper
its growing fast
also blonde somehow survived and is in rednex trailer
then the dino attacks
she shoots it with his gun as she's not such a hippie after all
then redneck finds workers iced
then he brings it into the base and sez he has the thing but its out from a trank
but its really a dead guy he took back and he pulls a gun on her
he hid the body in a bag
wait I don't think its redneck'
then cop (hes really a sherrif but I say cop) goes home and its day and hes with his wife
oh and there's a fever going around and chick sez she designed it
cop cracks some eggs but they full of blood
and theres a baby dino in one
then guy who told the story goes into the chicken factory eating a piece of chicken and a dino eats his head off
cop gets a dr and he examines the baby dino
also theres a lot of guys there with the plague
chick examines a worker of hers who feels ill and her name is susan like georghes fiancée in Seinfeld
chick sez her body is an evolutionary battlefiend and her dna is being rewritten
she does some weird birthing exercises with her and susan poops out an egg
come to think of it, the plague carriers on the dr's were all chix
chick has a bunch of eggs in her room
also darkroom guy gets a buncha dna engerening forms and mad science cr-p that was never shown to him b4
they (darkroom guy and the army find the dna in the driver was a virus tm'd by that company
then I think pregnant couple come by and theres hazmat armed guards on the road saying the areas quarantined
they take her and him
chick sez da earth wasn't made for man but dinosaurs
not according to the Bible
and she wants to give it back to em
this is what happens when you teach kids evolution
and she wants to fight the evils of human progress to save the world from people
then pregnant chick poops out a dino baby
not sure a baby can have all its cells remastered in a few hours
esp when it takes 9 months to go from 1 cell to a fully formed baby
although at 5.5 months a baby can survive outta the mom
and human brains don't finish developing until around the mid 20s
so chick goes on a monologue about how bad humans are and how da urth will be better w/o em
sounds like modern day eco commies
nowadays she'd be the good guy in modern movies
so cop comes by some place at night and wants action
btw he's a black guy in a horror movie
I never saw this b4 but I;,m pretty sure hes done
oh he's looking at a break in where the dino on the loose ate a dog
dino attakcs him but he quickly turns around and caps it
in Jurassic park, Muldoon got eaten
he goes up slow to take it out but gets sliced in da gut by its leg
still did better than Muldoon
so the army plans and finds in not long the species could go out
but they have artificial wombs now as the 90s are the future
btw this virus infecting people and turning em being a threat to the planet reminds me of the sigma virus from mega man x
redneck sez he knows theres a chance to make an antivirus but she sez its too late
so he starts capping eggs and she gives him the raw viral serum
he goes down the path the ret-rded guy went for some reason and the t rex is there
he shoots out the laser grid and runs
she starts pooping out an egg and redneck goes into the vents
but the t rex starts headbutting the wall
she tears open her gut wit her fingers as her skin is that cr-ppy and a baby dino comes out of her and she probably bites it
he gets back home to blonde and its daytime and sees he still has her friendship necklace
but then its night again and the t rex is out
the sun is coming in the windows at his place
redneck goes on the radio and the jets on it say theres a t rex out
he sez that when blonde talked about dinos and evolution she sed there was a migration route there
and the t rex knows somehow and is coming this way
that don't make sense
then the hazmat guys start capping the sick
assisted suicide??
redneck gives her the raw viral serum and has her drive a forklift
wait, its a bulldozer or w/e has a front scoop
he drives 1 too
they fight it with em like ripley in aliens and he gets turned on his side
good idea of tech vs living
like beast machines did
he gets out and she saves him by busting the t rex's head with her machine
but she gets knocked out
so he fights in her machine and guts it
pretty violent
even Jurassic park didn't have dinosaurs being bloodily killed
then he takes her back in his trailer and gets a call asking if anyones alive
the hazmat guys come in and shred him with bullets
then torch him and her
what is this? night of the living dead?
oh and the serum blows
Jurassic park didn't have an ending like that
I mean yeah it wasn't happy but it wasn't dark
the end
then the credits roll but going top to bottom in reverse style
gaffer; Christopher barnes
likre Christopher Daniel batnes? the 90s spiderman??
lol the credits say to read the book
so that wasn't ad as I was lead to believe'
I mean yeah its kinda cheesey and 80s but its not a clone of jp1
also the book it was based on was written before Jurassic park
its different and in an age where every movie I the same, I like it
its not as good as Cotman directed films but its sorta like prom night 4 or something
yeah Jurassic park has better effects and writing and music and directing
but this isn't trash
Jurassic park is more timeless and this is more 80s
this took risks and had more gore for that r rating
Plus it has a female bad guy.
Not too many movies have that now
its like Jurassic park is Mario and this is socket/time dominator 1st
for jurassic park I mean carosaur 2 I want t to be 20 yeas later and a new generation has arisen. part dino part human. the humans still exist but are not as strong or fast. but they are smarter. eventually a dinoman is revealed to have developed intelligence close to man but not fully there. she wants to take over an claim her true place as leader of the dinomen and wipe out the humans. turns out; she's the kid of the chick who made the virus and has absorbed her soul after busting outta her. also thanks to advances in science, some humans have become stronger, faster and more alive than before and are close to the level of the dinomen. a force of them defends humanity from the attacks of dinomen with cyber armor that boosts strength and speed and endurance. also its a 16 bit game like mega man on sega genesis, snes, Atari jaguar and turbogafix16 where you play as either the defese force or dinomen and fight through areas to take em over.