The Invisible Man Review

note; will my spelling improve? maybe some day

the invisible man

this is my review on the invisible man(1933 ver)

I saw hollow man(which is a title lie as he's not hollow)(if I have clear pepsi the bottle isn't "hollow") but its not the same

the book was written by h g wells

I think my dad read me the classics illustrated comic book of this story in the turn of the century

this movie has the delicious voiced claude rains as the hero/villain

kinda like lon chaney

the title character yet bad guy

I thought he was grand in angel on my shoulder

in later invisible man films Vincent price was the character

he's also got a great voice

after logos and an NRA thing, we get credits

ooh, james whale did this

it starts with a guy fully covered going through a snowstorm to an inn

sounds like an RPG

I think these guys are brits

everyones lolling until the covered man comes in

he wants a room and a fire

the inn owners woman has an awful brit voice

cockney

get henry Higgins to whip her a55 into shape

the covered man has goggles and don't wanna undress

he also wants his cr-p brought over from the station

she brings him diner and he lets her know he wants to be undisturbed

she goes down and brings the mustard but when she goes up he covers his mouth

when she leaves he shows he has no mouth

she tells the guys he's covered in bandages and assumes he was in an accident

meanwhile a blonde and her dad talk about a guy named jack

Violence jack???

\that would be bada55

him bustin up brits!

she's worried about where jack went off to

another dr sez him and jack worked on food preservation

\also jack isn't into her

the blonde goes mental

later the covered guy is working in a 30 style lab and the ownrs woman comes in

he gets her out and she goes mental

she b--ches at her husband over wanting money from the covered man

meanwhile the covered maN IS DISGRUNTLED HOW SHE Ruined his as work nd he needs a way back

the owner sez that the covered man has to go cuz of his throwing cr-p and swearing driving away business

also he sed his woman sed either the man or her goes

GOOD

kick her a55 out

the owner tries to bust the mans cr-p so he throws him down the stairs

\then they get the cops

all the man wants is to be left alone

and these awful brits are f ing him up

hes had enough!

he takes his coverings and hes see through

really good effects for 1933

they book it

this ne cop who I think has autism is totally monotone and unstartled sez to get him b4 he GETS NUDE

they get there and he gets nude

he sez he njected cr-p under his arm every day 4 a month and can rule the world

he can rob r-pe and kill

didt he wanna be cured?

why'd he go nuts?

he gets out and rides a bike naked

then f's up the town

riding a bike nude?!

that's wrong!

in sailor moon S sailor venus rode a bike in a miniskirt

as did miko mido in one ep of la blue girl

the autistic cop calls for help

really good effects in here though

the dr;s from b4 look through a lab and find a chemical list

one thing on it is monocaine

its a bleaching plant from india that was late found to drive animals injected with it nuts

but many books on it were printed b4 the animal tests

proof that animal testing is good

the dr listens to the radio and it sez theres a disease that makes people think theres an invisible man with em

another cer up

then the invisible man reveals hmself and sez he needs a surgical bandage to cover himself

he also has a cig

its a well done effect of invisible smoking

he is later seen in jammies w/ gloves and no head

he sez hes strong and can strangle him

the dr is nervous and not sure if he can use the phone

he don't know where the man is

meanwhile the ten had bigger cops come by and bash them over a hoax as they cant find any invisible man

but hes in visible!

the invisible man is outside!

how'd u see him then??

he comes to the dr in bandages and tells the movie recap until now

also he's drunk on power

yeah he's invisible

but hes not stronger or faster

just get a blind kung fu guy and ur good

he wants to wreak havoc on the area and use the dr as a partner

so the joker now?

they go to the village in a car to get his notes

at the inn the villagers are giving stories of their encounters

but the big cop writes em off

btw, claude raines is deliciously evil as the invisible man

kinda like megatron or no heart from care bears

the invisible man sneaks in, gets his books and brings em out the window to the dr

btw he's fully nude during this

like in kekko kamen

or cutey honey

or devilman lady

or other go nagai comcs

the invisible man busts up the meeting an they all flee

if they teamed up they could take him

he busts the big cops head with a wood stool

in the real version I assume hs head splattered like a squash

they then drive home

the newspaper reports the head busting but the people deny it like when the qvveen wacked daiaina

while eating the invisible man tells of places he cant go or he'd be exposed

smoggy cities(NY/LA)

raining(England)

even dirt under his nails can expose him

as can undigested food

later the police force sends out heir whole forces to find him

the radio broadcasts the news to the public

they say to admit uniformed search parties to all property

couldn't crooks dress up and take advantage of this?

then as the invisible man sleeps, the dr calls the dad and tells him of the invisible man being there

people call in from all over and offer suggestions to catch him

the cops are sent to the dr's house

the invisible man comes in and talks to the dr but then the cops come

a car sows up and its the blonde and dad

the blonde tries to help the invisible man

he sez he loves her and only tried to use this cr-p to be rich to win her

also hes mad and she ells him that the monocaine drives him nuts

he don't care and wants power

he sez the moon is scared of him

yeah hes nuts

he hears cop dogs and sez hes gonna come back afyter defeating them

the whole world is his hiding place

the cops outside link hands and approach

he sez he gonna ice the dr at 10 pm and leaves

he f's with the cops and gets away

man brit cops s-ck

they don't even have guns

the invisible man jacks a cops pants and skips down the road skipping and singing

this is awesome

the dr tells the cops the invisible man wants to waste him

they try to protect him

the invisible man f's with cops searching for him and causes a train crash

why don't they just take a swing at him?

u got like 6 other senses besides sight

hearing, touch, smell, taste, ESP, and Ki sensing

oh and seeing auras

so 7 esides seeing

he steals cash from a bank and gives it away

the cops decide to disguise the dr and bring him to another location

why not just seal him in a locked thing?

well, he could just torch the place

they put dirt on top of a wall incase he climbs it and have sprayers to color him

but hes already inside!

the calls are comming from inside the house!

the maniac's INSIDE the mailbox!

the dr drives away and the cops blast a cat as they think its the invisible man on the wall

its 10 00 and the invisible man is IN the car with the dr

he rode the bac of the car and stayed with him the whole time

he easily overpowers the dr as the dr don't fight back

candy a55 brits!

he sends the dr on a car ride down a cliff

it blows up

later a farmer finds the invisible man sleeping in his barn by his snoring

its snowing and the farmer out him to the cops

the cops go there and set the ban on fire

wtf

that's private property!

or to Englishmen not have property rights?

like n soviet Canada!

they see his footprints sinking into the snow and they cap his a55

I thought brits couldn't have guns

the invisible man was shot through both lungs and a health dr sez the drugs should wear off as he bites it

the invisible man regrets his cr-p and talks with the blonde

then he cooley turns visible and the film ends

that as cool

hard to keep up with the action and type this at he same time

its got good speed and pacing

really good effects

how da f did they do em in 1933?

sound films were only out for like 7 years by then!

this film is awesome

for the invisible man 2 i'd like for the invisible treatment to have given him a new life by saving him by the invisibility dying instead of him. he tries to live a normal life with his busty blonde gf but the friends of those he iced in his cray days want revenge. they hunt him down and he and his gf have to keep running/ after they catch then they beat up and b0ne the gf for siding with him and his anger causes the invisibility to reawaken and with super strength. h goes around busting them apart and b0ning the with their own limbs and saves his gf. then he turns out he's growing really buff and strong and can turn visible or invisible at will and goes around fighting crime and eating people he ices as his buff muscles need a lot of protein

Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid Review

note; u're probably used to my bad spelling by now. so I don't have to try
butch cassidy and the sundance kid
this is my review on butch csidy and the sundance kid
that title sounds a bit like a p0rn0
but I know its a western
its from da 60s and had Robert redford (who I recently saw in "a walk in the woods")
its also got paul newman who makes pasta sause
it starts with a silent fim of b/s going on a train robbery
ooh, jeff corey is in here
he was ryuken in hokuto no ken(fist of the north star) the 86 movie\
its also got cloris leachman
I assume b4 she geezered out\
after the silent film we get text saying "most of what follows is true"
considering how they f'd up noah and the texas chainsaw massacre, i'd doubt that
the film is sepia tone and paul newman walks around some place
he talks to a guard and leaves
then we get redford playing cards
he sez prayer is the secret to success
he wins and the guy hes playing sez redford is cheating
he sez hes not
the player tells him to go w/o his cash
newman tries to get the player to tell them to stay
mus be an ocd thing
he finds out hes the sundance kid
he regrets his actions as he'd be iced if he gunfought
\he invites em to stay but sundance sez they're going
then he uses his guns to not only shoot the players gun out the holster, but hoot I across the room
they leave and lm goes color
they talk as they horsey ride about California
\they go to some place and talk to some guys
a big a55 tall guy tells em not to jack any banks
redford reads his own wanted poster
they're called the "hole in the wall" gang
sounds 18+
the big guy wants to duel
but not with yugioh cards
guns or knives
sounds like double dragon
newman don't wanna use either
the big guy takes off his top
newman walks up to him and sez to set up the rules
biguy sez theres no knife fight rules
so newman kicks his arts and slugs him out
later they jack a train
but the guy in the train don't wanna give em the cash
so they blow open the train and check the guy
hes probably got internal damage or a concussion
later a moustache guy tries to get people to go after em
\at a bar this fat chick sez theres a war with the Spanish
she seems o be a h00ker
b/s consider fighting the Spanish
what year is this?
the moustache guy reveals a new invention; a bike!!
later this chick undresses and notices redford is there
he pulls a gun on her and tells her to keep going
I assume he butt b0ned her in the real version
nowadays this would make him the villain
theres no music either
tuens out she likes him and this was just roleplay
the next day they're in bed after b0ning all night and redford takes her on a bike ride
they play that "raindrops keep fallin on my head" song from Spider-Man 2
yeah, that song was around in da 1800s
nowadays they'd have them wearing helmets
wait
its newman rideing he on a bike
he does bike tricks
its like that not tony hawk guy who goes bmx games
he busts through a fencer and a big a55 bull comes after em
if a candy a55 bike can break a fence, how could it hold a 800lb bull??
he rides with the girl and they leave
back at the place redford b0ned her they talk about if she men Neman 1st theyd be getting married
he sez in some countries rding a bike together means they're married
sounds like ripleys believe it or not
they then jack another train and the blown up guy is there again
they trick him to open the car by using a nasty old hAG As a hostage
the money is in a safe so they blow it up
then they see another train coming
a buncha horsemen come out like n a video game
they cheese it and theres a chase
the gag splits up but the riders only chase b/s
they chase goes through a desert
later they go to a place full of chicks and newman tells a guy to say he saw em ride through town 5 mins ago
later paul newman is b0ning some blonde
he stops and watches the riders go through town
the blonde sez he's the only real man she ever knew
I assume that means everyone else is hermaphrodites or cross dressers
like in sailor moon season 5
at night they ride out after trying to drive away horses
I think its the riders
later they go to this house
later they are still on the run and going across rock ground and water
the riders till track em
they say the tracker is called "lord Baltimore" and is 100% indian
after much more attempts to escape they get to a cliff over a river
they argue over fighting or jumping
but redford cant swim
they jump anyway
I'm pretty sure the river ride is done with stunt doubles
they have dialogue obviously dubbed over
later they get back to the chick and she sez the paper sez they bit it
she sez the railroad sent out special trains and workers to get em
newman goes mental over the guy trying to stop his theft
if he paid me to stop robbin him i'd stop robbin him!
so its like being in a union?
besides
isn't newman the bad guy?
he steals from people with jobs
like the union
the chick they were b0ning sz shes 26 and a school teacher
her only excitement is from them
and shes on their side
newman throws the bike in da mud and we get a montage of 1800s photos
ooh, they added b/s in them
later they go to this run down place
I think its mexiko
later the chick is in bed with redford and trying to teach him Mexican
she calls through the wall to get newman to learn
they try jacking a Mexican bank but need a note to remember what to say
funny
in Europe and japan the people speak better english than many people born in America
not just Mexicans
but also homies who rhyme air and player
they get the cash nd leave but are chased
later they get a bank guy to show em the safe in the bottom of the bank and they jack it
no dialogue
just music
later they have more montage of em jacking from banks
they get a plan to swipe a payroll
but people need that money to live off of
redford shows his skill by shooting a rock around
they are hired by the payroll theif
on the attempt, the theif is capped
b/s throw back the cash and run
as the Mexicans count it b/s get in POsition and talk to em about getting it back
newman sez he never shot anyone
so why does he get top billing?
doesn't that make HIM the sidekick?
the Mexicans get ready to shoot em so b/s waste em
later they feel down about capping people who tried to ice em
later they at at a restaurant and a gunfight breaks out
or maybe a sniper
its a bucha guys
as its against the law to own a firearm in mexico, only b/s are able to fight back
they talk for a bit about newman going out as redford can cover hm
newman runs out and redford opens fire
then redford runs out shooting
they repeat this pattern
newman gets ammo
use the spread gun!
newman rides nbetween 2 horses as cover
they gunfight but take a few hits
they talk a bit
then more Mexicans come in
its a freekin army!
newman sez he figured redford wanted to go to Australia
that place always s-cked!
now they have bad internet and ban any movie over g13
regular p0rn0 is illegal there
not with animals or kids or the dead
1 living human white straight adult man with 1 living human adult straight woman
so b/s run out and open fire and the scree freezes and we hear gunfire
the end
that was pretty good
good pacing
nice music
good banter and comradery between the characters
I liked it
plus I like films in the 1800s anfd w/o cg
except bram stokers Dracula
that one s-cked
I liked the sega genesis game though
its not bad when u get used to it
for butch Cassidy and the sundance kid 2 I'd like for the chick they were b0ning to have had twins: 1 from each father(it is possible. I saw it on maury povich!) they grow up to be teens and find out their fathers are still alive in mexico. they go on an excellent adventure to save em but find they are limbless and hooked up to enema's to keep em alive. the Mexicans didn't want them to die, they wanted em to suffer for being American! the teens sae em and carry em out as they are lighter from having bones and organs removed and bring em to nikola tesla who quips them with AC powered prosthetic limbs. they new adventure together and hunt bigfoot in the wild. its also a 2 player run and gun game with 1 player as each brother and they fight into and out of mexico to save the dads. with a code given at the end of the game(or looked up online) you can unlock cyber butch and cyber sundance as players who use death rays and can double jump with booster in their cyber legs.

The Tingler Review

note; my spellings not so bad

the tingler

this is my review on the tingler

its got vincent price and is directed by William castle

aw gross

its widescreen

it starts with William castle coming on screen and saying that some people watching the film can feel whaT HAPPENS ON FILM

he tells us that if we have to, we shpuld scream

it can save our life

then it shows a guy screaming

he's on jail amd they take him away

this is done during the opening credits

then they bring him out and hes dead

then a guy talks to Vincent price as he autopsies the guy

they talk about the screamer getting the chair

according to law, you gotta autopsy after an execution

the guy hes cutting up has shattered vertebrae

it happens to people who were scared

if fear causes tension, why cant it get strong enough to kill you?

its revealed the chaired guy iced 2 chicks

the guy talking t price (oliver) sez the killer was his bro in law

price gives him a ride to his home and he lives in an olde timey theatre

they're showing tol able david

didn't that have lon chaney?

he invites price in for beer or coffee

price wants coffee

I prefer pop

they talk about silent movies

rice likes Charlie chaplain

the over's wife comes in

she's ocd and is deaf/mute

se washes hands often and don't shake hands

Vincent acidentaly cuts his hand and the wife freaks out and faints

what is she? naga from slayers??

price sez she cant release her fear by screaming so she blacks out

later she checks a safe with money and needs them to leave

she has to open up the theatre and cant leave anyone alone with her safe

later price goes home and chats with his wife

their daughter is revealed to be out partying cuz her husband is out too much

wait

I think its her sister

then a guy comes in and makes out with the wife

wtf

I think its his wife

they talk about needing cats to scare to test cr=p on

he tells the guy about the deafmute

price sez theres something stronger than steel in the backbone that does fear

he calls it...

THE TINGLER!!!

then the wife and the guy go out

a 1 am price hears a car and gets a gun

A BL0NDE COMES IN and prie has some back and forth with her

I think shes his woman and his being out makes he go out and b0ne guys

shes kind of a b--ch and dnt want her soster to marry a guy she likes

price alludes to her getting wacked soon

price ez she should leave the woman and her bf alone and give em half her cash

she reveals se wacked er dad to get his money but denies it

she threatens to leave him and take half his everything

price pulls a gun on her and ets her into a room

h tells her to stop ruining the sisters life or he'd waste her

she b--ches and he cap her 5kanky a55

then he gets her body on the operating table and x ray's her

shes got a big a55

nowadays rappers would be b0ning her

she wakes p and he reveals he was shooting blanks

nowadays people would be offended by a woman as the bad guy and her husband being smarter than her

the next day the BF Of the girl comes by and price shows him x ray's of the back

theres a thing harder and denser than bone

they reveal it lives in very backbone and screaming stops it from breaking backs

its separate and living in a human body

so its like a back pregnancy

if someone cant scream it could waste em and they can autopsy it

later hes having coffee with the young couple

he wants to be scared to experience the tingler but nothing scares him

so he sends the couple to a movie or w/e

they are suspicious and reveal the guy brought an acid

he locks himself in a lab and injects himself

the guy sez the stuff he injected gives a guy living nightmares

price tarts freaking out

he thinks the walls ae closing in on him

I think he took drugs

the girl worries that he might f his mind

he freaks out and tries not to scream

but he does

later he sez he thinks no one can avoid screaming unless they cant

price goes to da theatre and sez he wants to ceck on the deaf mute wife

shes been freaked out from seeing a drop of blood and cant function

he goes to see her and sez she's gonna give him a shot and a prescription for sleeping pills

she lets him inject her despite bein afraid of shaking hands b4 and leaves

he gives the husband a prescription and the husband goes to fill it

he wakes up and sees weird cr=p

items moving on their own

then a deformed guy gets up and comes at her with  blade(not a beyblade)

she locks him out and in the next room sees lights turning on and off

a door opens and a rotting hand throws an axe

she goes to the bathroom and theres blood coming out the sink

its red despite this film being b/w

the tub is full of blood and a hand comes out

she sees a death certificate for it

it sez the cause was fright

she bites it

price talks to the blonde and its implied she b0ning a guy

2 wine glasses with only her there

then oliver brings in his woman

he sez he found her after having some beer

proce sez she bit it

as he and Ollie go over the details the wife sits up

but proce sez it dont mean shes alive

proce starts cutting her up

we don't see it but we get a silhouette oh him pulling out a big thing

its da tingler!!

it looks like a big a55 centipede

it starts b0ning prces arm but he screams and it stops

its strong enuff to wack a guy

proce puts it in a box

it actually looks pretty cool

nowadays it would be all cg

Ollie takes the body home

remember in violence jack where the 9 foot tall biker's hermaphrodite gf got her head, left t-t and 9 inch thing sliced off, and he ate her?

later the blonde and the incent price are getting along and they talk about the tingler

they drink

Ollie calls and proce blacks out

then Ollie brngs a mask of the blade guy and other props away

he was part of it

she loved him anD HE WACKED her

this is the kinda stuff sailor moon or wedding peach fight

as price sleeps the blonde releases the tngler and it starts b0ning his neck

the girl dating the guy comes in and screams

it saves him

later proce sez they cant destroy the tingler

and he don't wana let out info on it

its an abomination

he wants to return it to the deaf mute

but they cant find where Ollie took her

they call him but he's cleaning out the safe and getting ready to skip town

price comes in and finds he was part of icing her

the Ollie sez she tried to waste him b4

the tingler gets out and into the theatre

in there they show tol able david

in the theatre a guy tries to get comfy with his woman

she pulls away

the tingler grabs her leg and she screams

prce interupts the silent film and sez theres no reason to be afraid

the tingler gets into the projection thing and goes across he screen

prce sez dot panic but scream cuz the tingler is in the theatre

when this film was in theatres, William castle had buzzers in the seats and would activate em to make people thnk the tingler was really in there with em

that must've been fun

h sez its been stopped by screaming and the movie will continue

the screen was black during vncents narration

they catch t and bring it back to the home

the Ollie sez hes sorry and price inspired him to do it

price sez; just cuz poison exsts don't mean u gotta kill someone with it

he sez its not ike he capped er but price sez killing sene on purpose is murder

take THAT assisted suicide!

Ollie pulls a gun on rice but he walks out

pretty bad a55

ollies woman stands up and e almost screams

the end

then price sez to the audience; if u don t think u have a tingler for real, next time ur in the dark... dont scream!!!

the end

that was bad a55

I liked it

cheerful horror fun

good pseudo science

good creepy stuff

good effects

and vnvent price is always wonderful

fo the tingler 2 i'd like for the wife to be just a puppet controlled by the tingler and it manipulates her nerves with electricial cr-p to move her. it goes around scaring people and feeding off their fear but stops em from screaming by punching in their throats. it gets stronger and fuses with her into a grotesque monstrosity that looks like something from Urotsukidoji or la blue girl. the husband has survived by screaming at he last second after the film ended. he's learned the error of his ways and wants to save his woman. he trains in prayer and is able to use spiritual armor to fight the tingler monstrosity. after he beats it, she is purified like in sailor moon and ca hear and speak despite never having done so b4. also its a plaT FORM GAME ON SEGA GENESIS AND SUPER NINTENDO and you play as the Ollie and go around fighting people turned into tingler monsters by being b0ned by the tingler woman.

The Baby Review

note; I has no plans on spelling right
the baby
this is my review on the baby (1970s film)
I saw it b4 and its f'd up
it starts with a chick going through a file
\it stars anajette comber
and ruth roman
and a buncha others I never heard of
david manzy is the baby
\she looks through photos of a mentally disabled CHIld
I should mention its in fullscreen
as she goes through yhe photos it shows the kid at different ages
it has him in his 20 in a diaper
then she goes up to a house and comes in
shes a welfare worker
they talk and do updates for the status of the fam
she is the baby's new worker
she only calls the baby "baby"
as he never got a real name
the mom has 2 grown daughters with bad 70s hair
her husband ditched her b4 the baby was born
shes malcontent over it still
the social work has an innocent kind face
after  resistance, the mom shows the worker the baby
later big hair sister feeds baby
she seems unsettled when worker feeds him
the mom rubs baby's muscles to keep em from going bad
but worker sez its odd he cant walk as he seems to have normal muscles
later the worker's boss pressures her to ease up on it
also she sez someone disappeared
later the worker play with baby and sez he seems smart
the big hair sister shoots that idea down
worker plays with a baLL With baby but the sisters take him for a forced nap
big hair sister talks with worker about her husband
she sez he was a architect who did good buildings
big hair tells worker about hiking in the mountains
when worker asks about baby having tests to see his level the sister gets defensive
she sez the tests were done years ago and nothing changed
later worker and her mother in law look at pix of her husband and she vaguely is unhappy about something happening and it being her faULT
later the blonde Is on the phone then changes the baby's diaper
after dat he wants to get out
she eventually lets him
he tries to get to the door but she stops him
she tricks him into banging his head on the wall
he cries and it sounds like a real baby
she comforts him and he tries drinking from her t-ts
wtf
then the mom and sisters return and find them
they beat her up
oh and I think the head bang was an accident but just badly filmed
btw, it doesn't show her big long shoelace nipples
and shes actually a babysitter
I f'd up
later the worker is working with the bby and the blonde Is also there
they talk and the blnde is b--chy
she goes to answer the phone and the worker helps the baby stand up
but then the mom comes and b--ches at her for it
se sez she wants baby to reach his full potential
the mom sez she raise 3 kids and thus is superior
worker suggests putting him into a clinic to help him advance
the mom shoots I it down and all options down
worker tries to get him to do a simple task
but the mom intimidates him into failing
this is pretty smart actually
a metaphor on parents holding back their kids
my mom complains when I wear shorts in the fall cuz its "to cold" out
maybe for her
I can take it
imagine if everyone had to use wheechairs cuz some people can walk?
same logic
or in I am sam with that malcontent sean penn playng a disabled guy who's daughter is smarter than him
but don't wanna read words he cant read
so then the sisters torture him with a cattle prod to punish him for walking
later at a school for handicapped kids, the worker reveals he might be normal but forcibly disabled by negative reinforcement
and its cuz shes mad at her husband for leaving her
I like how the good guy is someone with a job and the bad guys are deadbeats
nowadays it would be the evil worker trying to steal the kid from the innocent malcontents
so the worker has a meeting with the fam but they skip it
wow
we're already 40 mins in
that felt like nothing
the mom somehow gets the worker in trouble with lies
she confronts the fam and sez she's gonna try to save baby from them
by using the law
nowadays she's go outta her way and break all the rules to save him
maybe kidnapping or assassinations
and kung fu
later the mom calls the woker and sez sorry
she invites her to the baby's birthday
I gotta say this is well cast
the bad guys look bad and the good guys look good
at the party a guy smoking what might be chronic hits on her and she sez her husband was in an accident
she tur him down and he accuses her of being a femminst
no need for insults sleazoid
later the woker and blonde play darts
the worker is skilled
as they play, a bad hair chick switchs the works drink
the mom plays up the "self sacrificing" card to look like a good mom
after she wins, the woker gets woozy from the poison drink
the blonde and bad hair take her to the basement where they bnd and gag her
is this were made today she'd get b0ned
the mom sez she's gonna make look like an accident
the sleazeoid knocks on the door wanting a dance
so the blonde goes
the other 2 leave and baby crawls up and opens the locked door
he finds her tied up gets the gag off
the guy playing the baby is pretty good
meanwhile the blond sleazoid make out
she gets him to touch a lighter flame
they must both be on chronic
the worker meanwhile
uses a aw to open the ropes
everyone else went home and she gets out with the baby
they find out too late as she gets away and their car has a popped tire
later the worker gives him a bath and a suit
the fam cant go t the cops as they tried to waste her
the blonde sez they should've let the circus have him
the mom goes mental at the idea of her son being a freak
good character note as it shows she has some care for him
although its all twisted and warped
like liberal claiming to help people by keepimg them weak and dependant
the worker sends a letter saying shes gonna help him advance beyond being a baby and into a real man
the fam is disturbed by this and at night they go to ice the worker
they go in but the mom late finds her daughters shanked
the mom gets an axe but the worker gets a fire poker and they battle
they fight on the stairs and the workers mother in law comes in with a cleaver
the mom jumps off the stairs and shatters her legs
should've had more milk
they take the mom and bodies to a dirt place and berry them
i'd feel sorry for her but shes a b--ch
the mom in law and woeker get home and the wrker introduces the baby to her brain damaged husband
ses very nice and loving to em
later they play in the pool
the end
wow
a 70s film with a good ending
that's not common
I liked this one
t has a cr=ppylicious low budget feel
and the bad guy were women
I mean yeah the hero was a kind hearted woman
but people said mel Gibson's the passion was anti jewish despite the main character being jewish and sacrificing himself to save everyone (even those who mutilated him gleefully)
this movie also reminded me of this clint eastwood film where he's crippled and these chicks f him up
for the baby 2 I'd like it if a hyper "big gov" guy got into politics and enacted a tax on newborns that says when a baby is born, if the parents don't pay a tax, the gov disables the kid. they say they are doing this to "make everyone equal". its also there not only to leech more money from the people, but prevent the people from being self sufficient and thus dependent on big guv. that would "justify" taxes to spend on more wasted programs and make immigrants more needed for the country to survive. (I got this idea from Justin trudeau of soviet Canada cutting funding to help autistic kids get treatment to help them live normal lives)

The Wolf Man

note; my speling cr-ppiness is unchanged

the wolf man

this is my review on da wolf man(40s version)

it starts with clips from later in the film and the characters and actors images and names

its got claude rains, bela Lugosi and lon chaney jr

then we get a dictionary book and a text about lycanthropy

\then the movie starts

2 dudes drive up to a big a55 house

lon chaney plays claude rains son

\they talk to a guy who's an ex cop

like in streets of rage on sega genesis

its revealed lon chaneys bro bit it

it was a hunting accident

also his dad clade rains is a scientist

lon and dad look at a telescope at people in the street

he uses it to peek at a blonde IN A WINDOW OF A ANTIQUES store

if this were made today she'd be either nude or in her undies

so lon chaney goes there and says he wants some item

\she sez have not em he sez they r on her dressing table in her room

he sez hes psychic

nowadays he'd be a purvo

but here its sown to be nice

she shows him a stick with a wolf and a star on it

they talk about werewolves

she sez little red riding hood was a werewolf story

but the ORIGINAL brothers grimm story had "the wolf" as just some serial killer/purvo who tears apart gramma, puts her blood in a bottle and gets red to feast on them

wolf is his street name

like t bird in the crow isn't a real t bird

or wolverine in x men isn't a real wolverine

she sez that werewolfs have pentagrams on their next victims hands

\they agree to go on a date

as they leave they see gypsies coming into town

being polish and Slovenian, I heard bad things about those people

later the dad tells lon chaney the same poem the blonde told him

as they go out on a date, a nother wo man joins em to get their fortune told

lon chaneys name in here is larry

like larry the cable guy

I like him

his health inspector movie was so stoopid but it made me lol

they go to the gypsy place and meet bela Lugosi

as lon and bLONde walk in the fog of the wood he comes out about using a telescope

the other wo man talks to bela Lugosi

he sees a star in her hand

its not a rea pentagram as it has no lines inside

bela sends her a55 away and freaks out

btw,how'd he see the star?

is it only visible to those with sight beyond sight?

then lon attacks a wolf hat was b0ning some girl

he kills its a55 with his wolf cane but is wounded

once my grampa told me he fought off a wolf in the 30 of Slovenia

the gypsies bring lon and bLONde to his dads house

then some guys look into the woman b0ned dad by a wolf

he gypsy who was bela Lugosi is found beat dead near by

man, he didn't last long in here

he next day they tell lon chaney bela Lugosi bit it

he sez he killed the wolf with the stick

also the wolf wound is fully healed

later a cop and the dad and some guy talk and try to rationalize it

then lon chaney follows bela Lugosi's coffin to a grave

no this isn't Dracula vs the phantom of the opera

a priest and female gypsy come in and disagree over pagan rituals being used for bela

she sez a poem and leaves

meanwhile the blonde is disgruntled over the wo man biting it

then some b--chy women come in and blame her for the woman biting it

they leave when lon chaney comes in

he talks to her and they recap the events thus far

y'know...

we had blacula, blackenstein and dr black and mr hyde

why was there never a black wolfman?

It could work in da 70z

a dog comes in and barks at lon chaney

the dog owner don't like lon chaney

lon leaves and the dog owner sez he senses some wrong with lon

wait

he may not actually be the dog owner

I was typing and listening

they all go to a carnival and at the bb gun game lon does well but cant shoot a wolf

\lon talks to the female gypsy and she sez hes got werewolf syndrome

he freaks out and she gives him a charm

he goes into the woods a bit with the gf and they recap what she told him

he gives the charm to the her

they're about to b0ne but everyone starts packing up the carnival cuz of a werewolf

then lon chaney has a trippy experience

when he gets hom he\s getting hairy

he's turning italiano!!

\then his feet become bear fee

he goes through the forest at night as a werewolf

good use of fog btw

good atmosphere

he then attacks a gravedigger

the cops arrive and find him and animal wolf trax

the mud trax lead into the house and up to lon chaneys muddy feet

oh f

hes a furry!

the wolf man is his fursona!

this movie introduced furry TF(transformation) to  general audience

I bet this turned a lotta guys furry

just like rouge the bat in the sonic games

or renamon in digimon season 3

lon chaney wakes up and cleans up the mud

his dad tells him the plot up to now and sez the wolf might be from a circus or zoo

he sez good and evil ae in mens souls and that evil can take forms of an animal

so fursona's are evil?

then they go to church

strange considering claude rains role in angel on my shoulder made near this fllm

some b--chy broad suspects larry is a killer as they had no murders until he came

what about the gypsies?

in church larry has issues

later lon chaney sez its not a wolf, its a werewolf

\1 guy tries to rationalize it by saying its psychosomatic

and any mental issue can be cured with the cooperation of the patient

that's considered offensive today as some people like their fetishes and deviancy and fantasy they force on normals

later some guys bury something in the ground and cover it with leaves

that night larry comes out as a wolfman and gets his foot caught in a bear trap

if you b0ne a werewolf, is that interspecies?

the female gypsy says the poem she said b4 over larry

he turns human

he gets out of da trap and runs

but is seen by hunters

he tells  em he's hunting too

he goes to the antique store and wakes up the gf by throwing rox at da windo

he tells her hes skipping town

she wants to stay with him

he sees a star on her hand and runs home

he tells dad he killed the gypsy and shows him the star scar on his chest

dad claims its not werewolf cr-p but could be natural

dad tells larry hes not a id and keeps denying the supernatural

dad ties larry to a chair and b0nes him

well

he doesn't b0ne him

but he tells him denial of larrys beliefs

that's offensive to larrys identity choices

dad goes on the hunt and sez he left larry facing the window to see the hunt

the dad faces the gypsy female and she points out he has some belief

he hears gunfire and runs toward it like a dumba55

the blonde gf comes by and the female gypsy tells her to avoid the woods

se goes in anyway like a dumba55 and the wlflarry gets her

but claude rains saves her and fights off larry wolf with the silver cane

he beats his son dead for being a furry

the gypsy female says da poem and the larry turns human I front of the claide rains

look what your denial has done

everyone shows up and the cop sez the wolf attacked and larry fought him off

its a cover up like with daiaiana

the end

my dad is a denier too

if j fk crawled out of h-ll right in front of him and told him he and r fk killed and b0ned marylin monrowe, he'd say its fake

I like this film

good feel and mood and effects and story

lon chaney jr looks kinda like Alfred Molina

for the wolf man 2 I'd like for the dad to ave become obsessed with bringing his son back. he has turned and now knows the supernatural is real and has gotten into the black arts. the film shows his journey into witchcraft and tarot cards and yoga and him gaining wicked powers. eventually he decides to ritual sacrifice the whole village to open the gates of h-ll to return his son. but the towns people and together and have an epic battle of fighting him and most of the getting blown apart or limbs blasted off by black magic attacks. eventually they get him and b0ne him dead as only b0ning can kill him. but he can be revived by people b0nin outside of marriage so town has a morals law emplaced(which is repealed after people forget why its there and think they don't need it anymore as "its modern times now maaaaaaaaaan!") and the dad retuns and starts chopping up the descendants of the people who sealed him.

Cujo Review

note; no time for jokrs, the movies staring

cujo

this is my revrw on cujo

in the 90s was a hockey player named Curtis joseph who people called cu jo

after a bad a55 blood title we get a rabbit in nature

then this big dog with big parts goes after it

it looks like the dog fro Beethoven

but I never saw those films

the rabbit goes into a cave and the fata55 dog goes in head first and barks

a bat bites his fata55 nose

this movie is based on a book by steven king

my cool 90s aunt had an a55load of his books in the 90s

I should mention cujo I based on a real dog

king was at a car thing and a dog came at him going berserk

dogs don't like me either

I hope they go extinct

they really s-ck

also we have this little boy having freakouts about going to bed

he screams cuz he fears his closet

his rents comfort him but h knows he saw a monster in there

they don't believe him but humor him

I've had supernatural encounters in my life so I think the kid might be right

is this place haunted?

is it some yokai or kuriboh or wraith or daemon?

the net day the kid has move all his cr-p over the closet door

the kid denies it

I assume it was some bakemono or spirit

the dad forces his anti supernatural views on his son

there is more to this world than we can know

the neighbor comes by and they watch a cereal add made by the kds dad

the dad looks kinda like will feral

its revealed the mom is b0ning the neighbor

this is turning into a p0rn0

at least we don't see them b0ning

the dad sez the marriage isn't doing so hot so he suggests making another kid

maybe he just wants her fat

later the dad takes the car to the garage

but the guy is busy so the mailman sends him to another guy

him and his fam drive their red sports car over and find a farm like in pumpkinhead

the fam at the farm seems like a 20s or 1800s fam

then the fat a55 dog comes up

that dog had it big dog parts flopping around

get a speedo ja degenerate!

I spend my time inside wearing my bikini brief undies

even if i'm alone

the dog is named cujo

Curtis joseph?

my name is chris michael so I assume that makes me chrimich(krimmick)

maybe chi mi?

I like saying mii kai el as it sounds more biblical

maybe mee hai'l as its more eastern European

so later the kid is put to bed and don't have as much issues

The next day theres a problem with the cereal

it makes kids barf and whiz red dye

so the dad has to go out for fixing it

I saw an add for a doll that u give water and it whizzes out its wiener

I had an idea of giving the doll fruit punch and it whizzes red liquid out its thing

later the mom wans to break up with the guy she's b0ning

the dad driving sees something and turns his car around

the mom pix up her kind h pac man lunch box d he has a head wound from being "hit by a swing"

I assume the ghost did it

later the farm fam are talking and the mom won the lottery

she wants to go to boston

the farm guy later talks with his drinking buddy who advises he b0nes til he gets diseases

also the drinking buddy sez the dog is never gonna kick a55

we get a scene of dad and son having arm clean fun

the guy the mom was b0ning comes back and starts trying to b0ne her

she fights him off and the son and dad come in

he figgers out they were b0ning

later dad is working on the car and the son asks the dad about words to keep the monster away

mommy don't know em

toughing through his pain, he tells the son he's write em down so the son will know em

what a good guy

too bad his woman's a 5kank!

hope she didn't give him the AIDS!

this is da 80z after all

at night the kid sleeps sound with the words to keep away the monster pinned on a door

also in the fog like an n64 game, the farm boy confronts cujo

cujo looks like he's rotting

were those bats zombies or vampires?

maybe they just had AIDS

later the dad goes off on some trip

the wife tries to tell the dad its over with the guy she's b0ning

he struggles with his feelings and drives off

meanwhile the farm fam is packing up an the son tells the mom about cujo

the mom sez not to worry about it

then cujo attacks the drinking buddy

he fights the cujo off and gets his gun

but as it wasn't loaded (probably due to anti gun laws) the dog tears his a55 apart b4 he can use it

so if the dog is a vampire or zombie, the guy might rise as one later

the farm dad goes to the drinking budies home and finds him shredded

he tries calling on a phone but cujo comes at him

he sez cujo's rabid and gets wacked by him

the om and son go to the farm but cujo jumps in the wndow and smears it with blood ad feces like in the human centipede!

it goes after the windshield and she blows her horn

the car f--ks out and they are stranded there

man, we're only an hour in

they got 60 minutes of h-ll left(with commercials)

once me and my fam were walking in the country and we passed this farmhouse with a big dog

dad told me if a dog attacks you, block with one arm, as it bites it you use the other to tear out its throat

later she starts the car but it f--ks out again

piece of cr-p

Japanese cars work better

and they aren't drained by unions

we need right to work

if unions are so good then wouldn't everyone choose to be in one?

they are afraid of giving us a choice

they know they s-ck and only get cash from us by leaching our cash

like a parasite

I\d rather be in the axis than a union

and i'm polish!

when the mob sez you gotta pay em to have a shop on their turf its extortion

when unions do it its "legal"

note; owning slaves used to be just as legal

at night the kid has to whiz

just do it in the car!!

or at least out the window

that dog wont circimsicze ya

use the skin to aim

the phone rings and the dog attacks it

y'know, if the chick had a conceal and carry permit, she could've wasted that dog and been free

BOOM! HEADSHOT!

maybe just through the torso and it bleeds out

the next day she wakes up with the dog looking in on her

purvo!

was he also j=rkin off???

at the fam's home the phone rings but no ones there

the mom takes the paper with the monster words but the kid needs em

the kid reads em

oh cr-p

this is like in the confederate states

and its not snowing

its gonna be hot as h-lfire in the car soon

at the post office they say that the farm fam has their mail as "hold until notified"

so no help is coming

later the phone rings and the dog starts tackling the car

wtf

crazy abomination!

it busts the handle on both sides

piece of cr-p car!

the cujo jumps on the roof and paws at it

meanwhile the dad is in a meeting and they say they need a new campaign as the cereal they sold needs a new face

the mom gets outta the car through the busted door

the dog attacks and maybe b0nes her

it gets in the car and bites her

she gets it away as it tears her skirt and closes the door

is she gonna turn into a monster cuz it bit her?

also, I heard a guy bit a dog\s ear as it bit him and the dog ran

he can dish it out but cant take it

candy a55!

the next day the dog attacks the car and the kid has an episode

the dad comes home and finds the place trashed

he blames the guy who was b0ning his woman

I think

he calls him kemp

he tells the cops his woman was taking the car to the farm fam so a single cop goes to check it out

and the dog wastes him

he tries to escape by climbing the wood in the barn

the kid has an episode and sez he wants his daddy

later the cops tell the dad that the b0ning guy admits he trashed the place but sez he never saw the woman and kid

the cop sez the farm checking cop isn't back yet

so the dad goes out to the farm on his own

she has enough of this sh-t and takes on the dog

she breaks a baseball bat on its head and when it jumps her she shanks it on the broken bat

she goes to the car and gets a gun but cant get in the car

so she busts the window with her gun

she brings her son inside and rubs water on him

she does CPR on him

spoiler; in the book he bites it

but here she gets him going again

then like in Friday the 13th with kid Jason, the dog busts in one last time

so she empties a gun into it

the husband arrives and the wife comes out

the end

I noticed a lot of things similar to other steven king books

the woman and child away from help and the dad coming for them

like pet semetary and the shining

or the parent being away and calling with no answer so he comes and finds bodies

I like how the dog is the bad guy\

most things have it as the hero or good guy

this film had good build up and pacing

I liked it

Stephen king did well

for cujo 2 i'd like he mom to be suffering from reactions of being bit and fighting turning into a dog woman(a furry). then theres a timeskip and her so is grown up and has supernatural powers from being dead and coming back. he had em b4 when he saw the closet monster. he grows up to be a big buff blonde 90s guy and goes around fighting spirts and possessed animals. He also has spirit bursts from slaying enough spirits and releasing them in a blast that wipes the area. This is also a 16 bit sega genesis and super Nintendo game and its about the kid going around the 90s fighting animal and ghosts. his gf who is also a body builder and psychic is player 2 and 8 level beat em up of them fighting Halloween style animals and stuff. the final boss is the closet monster who was behind cujo and has revived him as grotesque phaIIic abomination and the recurring mid boss.