Friday, May 5, 2017

Mothra Review

note; spelling better don't make it better
this is my review on mothra from 1961
ew widescreen
find da cure
it starts with a storm heading for some place in da ocean
I'm watchin the Japanese version btw
this boat in da storm has to take shelter on infant island
sounds like a pregnancy or age regression fetish location
after da storm searchers search for the boat
they say the island is radioactive
more fetish fuel
what next? chaos energy?
the rescue boat goes to the island and saves the survivors
but theres no radiation illness
just like Chernobyl
this is how twilight zone eps start
i find a lot of the time, the twilight zone twist is either "they were already dead" or "it was earth all along"
also, wheres all the babes?
I thought this was japan!
in anime everyones sexy!
these guys are moderate
one of em is a fata55
I'm not into male weight gain!
that's for gay guys!
they mention mysterious natives on infant island
its said when they tested nukes on infant  island, it was virtually uninhabited
that doesn't mean totally
some country tested nukes on it b4
fata55 is a reporter who tries to get this guys face on camera
but he and his camera chick are scared by a mouse
candy a55!!
its the interviewed guys son shinji's mouse
shinji? that wiener from evangelion?!
the mouse goes in fat55's suit but gets out
interview guy sez the pacific islanders share similar language so they can communicate
like Slovenian and Croatian
f u spell Czech! stop turning croation into creation
I had to retype it like 5x
you'd think after the 1st 2 it would stpop autocorrecting
later a boat is taking off and theres a big a55 sendoff
reminds me of the great battleship Potemkin
but that was when the pre soviets faced the japan
these scientists or w/e whine about some guy named nelson
fata55 is caught by a creepy guy pretending to be a cabin boy
he sez; I cant let u just leave
me; hes gonna b0ne him!!
like in dat H anime!
fata55 introduces himself to da crew
hes fukuda
f u I'm calling u fata55
he looks like mo from degrassi next gen
they go on da island and find a forest
maybe its broccoli
they are in radio active suits
fata55 keeps accidentally aiming his rifle at the guy who b0ned him
hes comic relief like abbot and Costello
maybe beavis and butthead
1 guy finds big a55 fungus in a cave
and writing in stone
its probably just graffiti
toshio maeda was here
the plants or fungus or w/e then tentacle the guy who found it dead
but leave after hes done
wtf hes not dead
he had enough points for another continue
he talks about foot tall women
the joke is; 12 inch piano player!
or maybe theyre just midgets
my moms grandma was 4'6
shes like an elf!
or to be politically correct; elfrican American
except she was in Poland
the team finds action figure sized people
theres these twins(not austin powers twins or the shining twins) who speak in beeps
the guy who b0ned fata55 captures the twins
hes gonna make them b0ne him!
then human sized islanders arrive
maybe half-elf sized
I played D&D
they make banging sounds until the b0ning guy lets the twins go
then they return to japan
guess nothing happened between then and this
maybe find a sa daemon in the waves
later they talk about nelson and his past is unknown
he tried to find something in the amazon b4
was it a dinosaur? cuz Arthur conan doyle did dat in da lost world
is nelson the guy who tried to catch the twins and b0ned fata55?
fata55 and a guy talk about the writing on the stone he found
it sez something about mothra
how convenient it relates to the American word for night butterfly
later the b0nong guy returns to the island and goes after the twins
this time they open fire on the islanders
but the islanders just keep coming
are they the twins slaves??
one of em awakens mothra and a rock thing busts open revealing an egg
how Zelda
later the b0ning guy Is getting famous off the twins
he has a stage show about em
in the show they sing about mothra
no subs for the song
I hate when they do dat
yatsu subber wa okama kusai baka!!
ore samma wa muteki da!
at the island the islanders do some blood ritual and the egg moves
fata55 and his homies try to reason with nelson(the b0ning guy) but he sez the twins aint human so they am his property
also they don't speak Japanese
then what are they doing in japan!?
oh yeah
oh the guy hanging with fata55 was the guy b0ned by the plant
and the twins saved him
they start talking Japanese
they can transmit thoughts and feeling to people
what is this? go nagai!?
they warn em about mothra commig if they aint freed
why not tell em wat mothura is??
how can they know of it??
the islanders have a ritual and a big black phallllic thing comes outta the egg
later the paper outed the nelson but he wants a retraction
retract my foot from yo a55!
also something was seen in the pacific
this isn't 1999 so its not the SDF-1 at macross island
in the ocean the big black phallllic monster busts a big white boat
they blame nelson but he sez its not his fault and mothras a myth
nelson is from Rolisica the country dat nuked da island
the plant b0ned guy goes to save the twins as fata55 kicks a55 of guys after them
they try to stop the twins telepathy with a special radio wave blocking substance to stop mothra
a jet guy goes by mothta
the military tries to prepare
the Rolisican government sides with nelson
the military tries to stop mothra but it don't work
also I don't think moth larva can swim
nelson thinks they iced mothra
nelson gets a call telling him to stop da show
he wont
he yells at the twins to stfu and takes em away in the substance box
mothra busts a reservoir and it floods
some dumba55 left her baby on a bridge and fata55 has to save it
the people want him to return the twins
this fat kid gets in nelsons place and saves the twins
 but they catch him
Rolisica sides with japan to free the girls
oh the fat kid is shinji
reminds me of all the male weight gain art of that wiener from evangelion
fata55 and the b0ned guy save shinji who was bound and gagged and maybe b0ned
mothra is In japan and busting a55
so the army tries again
didn't this happen in starship troopers?
just bust a hole in its back and drop a grenade
man these tanks aint doing jack
we need Mazinger Z!
1 breast fire and hes toast
mothra climbs Tokyo tower and snaps it in 2
mothtra then makes a cocoon
hes digivolving!
correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't silk super flammable?
just torch it as it transforms
as its changing its gonna be weaker
its armor wont be at full power
plus it might be half morphed and incomplete
the next day the military uses some kinda heat ray to attack it
why not use a giant magnifying glass and burn a hole in it?
it catches fire and burns
they think they won
nelson mocks the twins
btw the twins don't look too much similar
the twins sing and the cocoon busts open and a big effing moth busts out
its wingbeat causes gale winds
holy cr-p cars and being blown around
mothra (not mum ra from thunder cats)is a puppet but looks real
now it would be one with cgi and s-ck
nelson books it with his droogs
the Rolisica asks fata55 and the b0ned guy to stop mothra
I should mention the b0ne guy is chujo and the b0nING guy is nelson
nelson is stopped by the people so he pulls a gun
the cops shred him with gunfire
they otta jam a gun up his a55 ad give him a 45 caliber suppository!
I think that was in Rolisica
btw most of the people there are white
and they speak English
but nelson is like Eurasian
mothra attacks the Rolisica city of new kirk city(totally not new York in amerce)
theb0ned guy gets the twins
the Christian Rolisican pray and the b0ned guy sees a cross against the sun at a church
the gang sez the bells are like the twins voices
the b0ned guy wants all the church bells (in the country??) to ring at exactly 3 pm
better synchro ur watches
why not rebuke mothra?
it worked on the loch ness monster
they're both daemons right?
after waiting until 3, all bells ring
what Is this? the hunchback of notre dame?
oh and they painted a symbol on the ground
mothra lands and the twins say bye and leave with him
they wish peace and happiness
the camera chick forgot to take a picture
they return to the island and in this rock is a cross that looks like TK's crest from Digimon
funny about them wishing them peace and love
what about all the innocent people killed by mothras rampage?
1 guy was bad and they slaughter thousands?!
that's f'd!
it could be a message on racism
but come on man!
its like when someone doesn't show some homie respect so he stabs em dead
the end
I liked this
classic effects and no cg
back when movies had heart
too bad it was widescreen
they should've just filmed the whole image instead of cutting off the top and bottom
for mothra 2 i'd like it to be the 90s and a Rolisica movement has grown bitter from all their families slaughtered in mothra's rampage. they gather enough votes and get ito government to get a motion passed to renuke infant island. this time, to totally wipe it out. mothra senses the peoples vengeance and returns to attack them for thinking against it, but this time they have a giant transforming centipede robot that turns into a humanoid and has acid fire blasters and injectors to inject and blast mothra with acid fire to destroy it from inside and out.

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