Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Red Dust Review

note; spelling better wont get me more views
Red dust
thisd is my reviewe on red dust
its a 30s film that was remade as mogambo
I was gonna review mogambo but found this has clark gable and jean harlow
ooh, mary astor is in diss
ooh, victor flemming did this
and its by mgm
this looks good
SO IN INDOCHINA (f caps lock) theres a rubber plantation
clark gable drinks tree fluids and sez its cr-ppy
it'll take 3 years to get the trees in shape
cuz theyere too young
he then splashes these 3rd world workers with the p-ss bucket for being lazy
I hope that's p-ss
then theres a wind storm
man this movie don't watse time
oh its a dust storm
this one guy Gideon is drunk so gable tries slapping him awake
they throw him in bed and jean harlow is in it
shes got chutzpa
shes staying here cuz she caused an issue in town and needs to wait it out
yeah cuz she blends in with the rest of the Asians and they wont remember a curvy blonde with her accent
clark gable talks with his homie aboit quitting and the homie sez hes gonna do rubber forever
the homie suggests going to Saigon
also theres a tiger outside
then jean comes back and sez shes not used to sleep[ing nights
I don't think the film can say it, but I think shes a h00ker
she wants to name gables parrot
they eat cheese and chat
the homie sez if it was 1894 hed b0ne her
but she's be like 4 then
the homie goes to bed
she talks about cheese and how its made
but this p-sses clark off
they clash then laugh
they're gonna b0ne
they get cozy and the camera moves to the bird and it starts talking
I think thats 30s for; they b0ned
later a guy and his wife (mary astor) come in
mary wants to take a bath but this Asian guy shows her they just hose off with a water spoon in public
huband thinks he screwed up but astor comforts him and sez it'll be ok
y'know, clark gable is kinda like if George Clooney was straight and not a commie
gable comes in and helps take care of the husband as hes gotta fever
gable sez the nearest dr is in sagon and thatds 3 days there,3 days back
and he might not make it if they go
he clashes with the wife and she runs back to be with the husband
at night clark spies on astor getting undressed and a tiger comes near
she runs inside but gable comforts her saying the tiger don't come too close
oh the husband is there to work for the rubber plantation
gable chats with his droogs and jean harlow comes by
this brittishy guy sez something wrong with the propeller in his boat and it'll be a while b4 its fixed
later harlow meets aster
harlow shows she has experience with knowing how drs there work
she gives a story about being stuck in da mud and having to walk through the junglre
but astor don't belive it
clark bashes jean over "going around half naked" and "watching her language" around astor
but shes more covered up than most people now
esp in anime/fighting games and p0rn0
husband needs help and clark helps
nowadays he'd probably have the aids
later clark sez hes gonna make it
astpr regrets being b--chy to him b4
then clark takes off his shirt and sees harlow
she tries to get a clock to work
its a barometer
so shes like a bimbo
later husband is ok and goes to work
later gable walks by and gets splashed
its jean harlow taking a bath in a barrel
clark sez to put up curtains and they drink that water and for her to get out
then astor comes by
this is how p0rn0es go
clark shows astor how rubber is made
he puts acid in rubber tree j-zz and it makes rubber
astor asks if he misses civilization
also gable sez they don't let women in the plantation
and the workers women are at home in the village
they chat for a while and a storm starts up
he carries her through the storm
at the base harlow closes windows and sees gable bring astor in his room
they're soaked and he kisses his mouth on her mouth
bt she regrets it
I assume in the real version they b0ned
he goes out and astor is in the same room as harlow
they talk and start to play cards
later husband and gable chat at a meal with the gang
astor goes outside
gable sez to husband that he wants husband to survey a place out there
husband tells astor abut it and she wants to go
but astor I mean husband sez its not a good idea
is gable trying to kill him off to b0ne his wife?!
that didn't work well for king david
or prince charrleis current woman
jean sez she s gonna tell the husband but clark sez he'd do it himself
later the gang is doing outside mission stuff and its been 3 weeks
the aian guy jokes about some girls undies he's ironing
he reminds me of William hung
jean harlow complains about gable being gay for astor
the Asian guy delivers the laundry and gable comes in and sends him to prepare pheasants for dinner
he makes out with her on the mouth and sez he wants to get out of the country someday
he reveals he has to go downriver to deal with "coolies"
I don't know what those are
is that a racist term?
I'm not from the 30s
he might tell the husband
clark goes out through a river on a horse
he talks to the husband about progress in the project
also theres a tiger out there
clark gables homie sez the husband is loyal but not meant for labor in the rubber mines
also his fever came back a bit
I think we all see where this is going
clark and husband go up a tree and chat about the future
he wanted to go to south ameiica but loves his woman
he also wants to have kids with her
oh f
hes talking about his future plans
pretty sure that means hes gonna get iced
remember flesheater 2
revenge of the living zombies
then the tiger attacks a cow
but they open fire and clark bags it
nowadays they'd make this look like the humans were the bad guys
good this this is the 30s!!
gable plans to return to check a new batch of tree fluids
he rides back on his water horse
they brittishy guy reveals gables been b0ning his wife
so the husband slugs him
later he goes out
wiat, its gable
and the real brittishy guy sez the boats almoist ready to bring the blonde back
I got the characters mixed up
it was Gideon
but the husband is out and heading for gable on a horse
the jean harlow talks to the clark gable as he drinks
he sez that the husband is alive
after enough wine, gable turns hetero and starts doing stuff with jean harlow
what took ja so long?!
they start b0ning and the mary astor walks in with a gun
for some reason shes mad at him cheating even though she cheated on her real man
he sez he never told her husband and tells her off
so she shoots him
what is she? a feminist?!
then the husband comes n
gable sez she capped him for him coming on to her
jean harlow sez she resisted al his attacks
they gon leave tomorrow
oh and clark gable(being a manly man) shrugs off a bullet
not like those candy a55 teens in todays movies
also he has harlow push the bullet out with a stick and clean out the wound all the way through
nowadays teens go mental when someone disagrees with em
clark gable takes REAL pain like a REAL man
later he's recovering and jean harlow reads him the paper
the husband and wife are arriving in or from philedelphia
the end
that was pretty good
classic 30s romance/comedy/drama
surprised they let the wife cheet on the husband
after the code (ABACABB in moral kombat 1 on sega) they didn't allow that
I thought jean harlow was thicker
must be made when b4 she finished developing
for red dust 2 i'd like if the workers got into communism and formed a union to fight the company that gave em work. clark gable and his pregnant gf jean harlow gotta find a way to get rid of this strike or the place is gonna close. its mostly him explaining why unions s-ck a55 and are bullies that cause more
problems than they claim to solve. in the end, the union captures his pregnant gf as a hostage to force the company to surrender to their demands and he has to sneak into their base and save her while blowing them away with his new prototype gun that fires tree branch sticks and is powered by blood. also its a run and gun game on sega genesis and super Nintendo with you as clark gable and ur gun is called the "union buster" and the game boss is a giant tiger riden by the commie leader who turned the people commie and is using them to take over and become leader

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