Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Stand By Me Review

note read my cr-p spelling
stand by me
this is my review on stand by me
its from the mid 80s and set in the 59
I hear this film had a hard time getting made as theres no love interest or chicks and its actually good
its written by steven king who my cool 90s aunt likes books by
was this based on a true story?
pet semetary was
I'm watching it censored on amc btw
they cut the profanity and puke
candy a55
it starts with an adult thinking about how he saw his first human corpse when he was like 12
he lived in Oregon in castle rock in a small town
the kids at he clubhouse jokes about frenchies b0ning dogs and eating trash
on unbalanced kid is French
seems about right
also the kids are smoking
oh the 50s
river fenix is the main guys bff and then this fata55 jerry oconnel comes in
rivers dad is a drunk and corry Feldman(the Frenchie)'s dad nearly burned his ear off
fata55 jerry buried a jar of pennys in the back yand but his mom cleaned his room and threw out da map
me spend 9 months digging under the wood yard thing and hears his bro chatting with a hoimie
a kid went out to get blueberries and hasn't been seen since
but the bro jacked a care and found out about the kid
hes dead jim
they cant tell the cops as they;d find out they jacked a car
so fata55 and the guys plan to lie to their rents and go on a quest to find a boys corpse
main guy whil wheaton is unbalanced as his older bro got iced and his rents are suffering too muc to deal with him
that's why I don't drive
whil weaton gets his bros hat from his room and has a flashback of the bro giving it to him and being nice
dad criticizes him over having cr-ppy friends
as 2 friends are theifs
river feniz steals a big gun
nowadays people would go up the a55 over kids holding guns
ri\ver sez it aint loaded and whil fires it
they Book it AND a chick things they doing fireworks
kiefe5r sutherland sakes whils hat and river insults him
kiefer holds him on the ground at nearly outs his eye with a cigarette until he take it back
its like the media pressuring someone to say sorry for doing nothing wrong
lter the 4 hobbits go to eisengard\
at train tacks they say it might be 20 miles
one sez hitchhike
nowadays people would go up the a55 over kids hitchhiking
on the way they sing a paladin song
fata55 gets hungry and they realize no one brought food
they count cash(change) and fata55 has 7 cents
cheap a55 fat a55
a train comes and cory Feldman (who chopped up Jason) stands on the trax wating to dogde
river saves him
cory is malcontent over this
well, he IS French
bte these kid actors didn't end up good
river enix OD'd at a club
cory Feldman got b0ned by hollywood produicers
I don't know about whil weaton
but jerry oconnel lot the weight and was on the Canadian show ; my secret identity
then he married Rebecca romain
the 1st mystique from x men
looks like he made it best
meanwhile kiefer Sutherland is nailing mailboxes withn a b ball bat
the boys go through a junkyard with a dog rumored to bite off crotches
they flip for who gets snacks and its 4 tails
fat a55 sez its a omen but they flip again and whi, wheaton has to go
at the store the owner sez whil is like his bro
whil has a flashback of dad ignoring him and loving bros football
but bro likes whils stories
when whil returns the boys booked it and the junk yard owner sends his dog after whil
whil gets over the fence but the dog is a wiener
they tease the dog but it bites frenchies a55
the junk owner yells at em for teasing his dog(its just a dog. it don't know english) and frenchie mocks him
so junk owner sez he knows the kids and frenchies dads nuts
Frenchie tries to murder him for saying words he disagrees with
must be a liberal
they leave and then comfort the disturbed Frenchie
later kiefer and his droogs are hanging out, smoking and carving words in their arms and talk about the dead kid
they bet when the cops find the body
kiefer; if u had 2000$ i'd kill ya myself
hes gonn grow up to be a serial killer
meanwhile the kids walk and wanna have a smoke fore dinner
fat a55 and frenchie argue over whjo would win, mighty mouse or super,man
spoiler; Goku at ss5 could beat superman
river tells whil wheaton to use his gift to write stories for good and not give up
threy come to a bridge and wanna go around but Frenchie wants to cross it
but they fear A TRAIN
lol frenchie calls em candy a55es
but HES French
they go across and fata55 is on his hands and knees going on\
not getting b0ned
he drops a comb through the bridge
that comb is coming back in the sequel to kill em
whil wheaton notices a train coming and fata55 is too candy a55 to run
they run as the train comes at em
its like pet semetay
at the last second whil wheaton shoves fata55 off and gets splattered by the train AS his pieces fly everywhere
really they both jumped
later they talk about checking their undies for poop stains
after dinner they enjoy a smoke (which would be f'd by commies nowadays) and whil wheeton tells a story
a 12 year old who weighs 180 is called larda55
my gf was 230 at grade 7
180 isn't fat
larda55 gets revenge by going to a pie eating contest
at the contest  he gets tripped and people comment on his size
hes way fatter than 180
whys it always a fat guy and never a fat chick?\
you wont turn me gay!!
they gorge on pies and larda55 is doing well
but b4 the contest he chugged a bottle of castor oil and a raw egg
he imagined eating cow waste and rat guts and he barfs
it looks like hes gonna explode
his barfing gets everyone to barf
they all puke on eachother
the end
1 guy wants to know what happened after it
frenchie wants larda55 to ice his dad and join the texas rangers
what a sane guy
i'd say something about him b0ning people til they burst under his tonnage
after that they talk about random cr-p like what goofy from micky mouse is
then they hear wolfs
Frenchie thinks its ghosts and goes to look for it
fata55 is freaked out
river fenix sez to stand watch and gives Frenchie a gun
that'll go well
btw earlier they say a Frenchie was in ur yard if ur trash can is empty and ur dog is pregnant
the Frenchie was moving his a55 at the dog and it bit him
hes gonna have a dog fetish when he grows up
go around b0ning dogs
or letting the dogs b0ne him!!!
whil weetin dreams of his brothers grave and dad sez it should've been whil weeton
he talks with river about it and how rivers fam is low status
also he didn't take the milk money
he did
but he gave it back and a chick took it for herself
then he starts crying and want to get to a new place for a fresh start
the next day who weehin sees a deer go by
imagine if it was sasquatch
he never told em about it
ort anyone
until just now
whil weetin gets obsessed with the kids corpse
they take a cut through the woods but fata55 oconnel don't like it
meanwhile in a bar a guy tells a guy not to tell anyone but he knew where the body is
kiefer gets word and goes there under premise of a fishing trip
the boyd(boys) go through the forrest and find a stream or pond
they go through and horseplay in the water
they get out and find they are covered in lesions I mean leaches
they get undressed and the scene ends
but in the uncut version 1 guy finds a leach on his parts
we don't see the parts
it was just a commercial and the ecene is still there
and theres blood on it
hope hes not circimsized
and its whil weaton
and he blacks out
after they get dressed they talk about going back and fata55 has enough of frenchies abusre and wails on him
but whil teerin gets emn to go on
meanwhile kiefer road battles a rival and a truck is coming for him
he keeps going and it goes offroad and tips over
hes a bada55
like ryo Asuka in Devilman
then the scene cuts to the boys finding the body
what happened with the rival??
then frenchie starts eating the dead kid
whil is disturbed and river comforts him
he sez it should've been him
and his dad hates him
but river sez dad don't know him
then kiefer coms by
they want the body
then more guys show up
and kiefer pulls a switchblade
Frenchie runs but river stands to die
kiefer is gonna knife river but whil weenton pulls a gun on him and sez hes gonna kill him
after a standoff  kiefer leaves and sez he's gonna get even later
yet whil lets him go
just ice him!
whil has the boys give an anonomus phone call and they go home
why did kiefer want the body?
was he gonna b0ne it?
when they got back they were more grown up
they boys go home on at a time
grown up whil sez what happened to the boys after
fatty and Frenchie fell out of em
fatty got married and has kids and runs a forklift at a lumber yard
honest work
Frenchie wanted to join the at,my but his cr-ppy eyes and ear kept him out
he went to jail(Shawshank?!) and now does odd jobs at town
river became a laywer and got shanked in the throat at a restaurant
then grown up whil types about what he said on a 80s comp
then goes out to be with his kids
then the stand by me song plays
ooh, Richard dreyphus was the grown up whil weeton
the end
that was pretty good
although amcs website said slither was gonna be on
yesterday and today
and both was this 1
but I liked this
good 80s film
set in da 50s
good entertainment w/o cr-ppy romance tacked on or a gay lesson forced into us
but what happened with kiefer Sutherland?!
they just forget about him after that
for stand by me 2 i'd like for kiefer Sutherland to come back and capture whil weatons kids. he sez hes gonna chop em up unless whil weeton comes to him and lets kiefer b0ne him dead. he gets the Frenchie and fatty and they reunite to take down the kiefer.they go back to the town and its run by kiefer who has turned it into a prison mad max thing and hes gotten big and buff from eating people for 30 years. fatty gets his forklift and drives it into the area and wacks a lotta warriors and Frenchie is crazy and cuts people up and eats em.  its also a 2 player beat em up on snes and sega genesis with 21 guy as whil weeton and one as the frenchie and theres forklift levels as fata55. also you can call in fat55 during beat em up parts to wipe the field. and fatty is over 600lbs and cant leave his forklift and whjil whereton is in a muscle power booster suit that he bought rom his writing money and selling ideas to Hollywood to make cr-ppy movies. oh and kiefer was secretly working for whils dad who's kept alive in a biotank who never forgave whil for going into writing and not being a good son.(you fight him if you do good enuff in the fights going to kiefer)lso he don't want his grandkids raised by candy a55 whil wheeton and is doing this to save em from being turned into purvurts by him raising em bad

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