Monday, August 21, 2017

The Outlaw Review

note; did howard hughs type well? I don't think so!
the outlaw
this is my review on da outlaw(40s ver)
its by howard hughes and has jane russel and walter huston
ive never seen this but I hear howard kept showing b00bs
no nips though(thankfully)
but for the 30s it was too much
it starts with text describing the old west
I like the camera in here
its got good camera framing and shots
so this guy named pat is the sherrif
a guy sez doc holiday arrived
pat sez docs his bff
they reunite happy
someone jacked docs horse
docs surprzed pat is sherrif
he takes a good look at his crotch(as that's where the star is, his belt)
then they see a drunk wanting to shoot a glass off barkeeps head
pat stops him and takes him to jail to sober up
doc goes for a walk and finds a horse
its his
the current owner sez he bought it elsewhere
the owner is billy the kid
and he wants it
pat comes by and wants to enjail billy
but when he finds out its billy the kid shakes his hand
billy knocks him down and rides off
the end
for the outlaw 2 I want it to be a cannibal movie
later doc finds and talks to billy and they find the horse can do tricks
but its a trap and pat holds him up from behind
doc takes billys guns but billy sez hes innocent
billy bashes doc over needing a cop to help him
doc bites and they go off
but pats malcontent
he gives em a bit of time to get out of town
I think
I wasn't looking
after a card game a guy asks doc about the ace he used being at the bottom of the deck
oh its bily
they grow closer in a non brokeback mountain way
nowadays they'd be b0ning
they get ready for bed but someone fires on billy
he throws his spur and it gets hit
after some tension  billy fights the guy and its a dark haired chick(not wonder woman_
she sez her name is rio McDonald
like rio, sharks sister from Yugioh zexal
apparently billy iced her brother in a bar
she gets up and tries to pitchfork him but he counters and tears off her dress offscreen
I think they're b0ning
later kids talk about how cool billy is
he tells em he had 50 indian scalps but da gov made him give em up
nowadays they'd make him the bad guy for that
cant have a good guy now who's not politically correct
later billy meets a slimy guy who sez he wants to help him with pat
he plays a scenario to show how they'd get pat and aims his gun to "show him the angle"
the moment he aims at billy, billy draws and wastes him
then doc comes in
billy plays poker with a guy
Yugioh is better
oh its doc
me homies come in for billy
oh its pat
they think billy iced the slimy guy for no reason
its not murder if its self defence
doc sides with billy and pat turns on doc
so much for bring best friends
lina and naga from slayers are closer
and they're rivals
pat pulls a shotgun on em but its shot outta his hands
oh and billy got capped but didn't bite it
the guy who capped him got blown away
they ride out
they get to the rio house and doc gives her medical advice
she gets a knife but cuts off his clothes
oh and I forgot to mention that the slimy guy had danger music during his scene
later this cowboy looking for billy comes by and a young bird gets in
the cowbiy leaves and rio gets the bird off billy b4 it eats his eyes
then she cooks da burd
oh and rio has a Mexican lady living with her
we get a montage of rio helping billy
later she gets nude and shares body heat with him to warm him up
but it don't show it\
meanwhile, doc is leading the chasers away on his horse
hey, he got it back
then he snipers em
later billy chats with rio
the Mexican is her aunt
and they mention a lucky ring that was from a guy who bit it after taking it off
they almost b0ne but the aunt comes in
later doc returns and billy mad he took the hose
they have some back and forth over it
later billy and doc leave and pats after em
I should mention earlier doc nearly snipered pat but didn't
later billy I think returns and finds rio in a low cut top
he sez she put sand in their canteens
later pat finds rio tied up with rawhide that was wet so it would shirnk and free her
later billy comes back and shes tied again
but its a trap by pat
billy and doc get chained up
after some chat billy tries to fight doc chained up but gets kicked down and rolls over the fire
the pat and crew return and rio falls in a pond
oh it was to get billy
now shes in a wet t shirt
they get ready to return them to town but theres Indians
they leave to try to get to a fort
they find a burned down place with charred tortured bodies
but don't show em
then Indians approach
billy wants his gun but pat makes em promise not to turn on him
they book it on horses and theres dust coming off the hoofbeats to make it look like theres more people
like in birth of a nation
they get away
then spend a night at a place
billy confronts doc over something
and tells pat to stay out
oh its about the horse
the rio(who looks bustyer in every scene)wants em to stop
when the clock goes off they draw
doc gives a speech about men being like kids and getting too rough
the clock goes off and doc eventually almost draws
but billy don't
doc shoots off pieces of billys ears but he stands there like a bada55
he sez the time it took the clock to go let him realize docs the only friend he really had
they get ready to go but pat don't want em to
hes jealous doc likes bily more than him
this is like bad care bears or spongebob
but doc don't wanna ice pat
pat eventually draws but doc does faster
buit doc don't fire and pat creams him
pat asks why and doc bites it
did that really happen?
like to the real doc holiday?
after hes buried billy sez sorry for causing this
later pAT gives billy docs guns
but pat wants billys guns
so he can say its billy who bit it instead of doc
identity theft!!
then he could start a new life with rio
better than fata55 bronk b0ning her(Yugioh zexal ref)
billy isn't sure but pat wins him over
billys gonna book it but pat reveals he removed docs guns firing pins
and holds billy up with his own guns
but billys guns don't work
turns out billy accidentally mixed up the guns while playing with em
and billy still had one of his guns
next scene shows pat tied to a post like hes b0ning it
billy leaves his guns and sez pat can say doc tied him up
as pat don't want it known billy got him
billy leaves
but looks back at rio
then she goes with him
they ride off and docs resting place sez; here lies billy da kid iced by pat garret
the end
huh, walter huston was doc holiday
then it has text dat sez history is vague and theres many stories of billy
some say hes good, others bad
they say he got wacked by a lawman
but the truth is a mystery of the west
so in other words; nelsons explanation of having a killmaster when playing cowboys and indians
the end
that was pretty good
the b00bs wernt as big a focus as I was lead to believe
I've seen more revealing outfits on sailor moon
but in da 30s it was too much
the story was simple and it had good flow
not much to say but I liked how the bad guy wasn't all bad
kinda like in batman beyond
or Robotech
for the outlaw 2 i'd like pat to reveal right b4 he bites it that its really doc in billys place. this starts a rush of people wanting to claim billys head and be the one immortalized as his killer. billy is living in Arizona and rio has extra huge b00bs rom being pregnant a few times and their kids are now teens whjo billy trained to be super gunmen. they defend their farm from attacks and decide to go after the head guy responsible for bountys so they can be cleared. but it don't work. so they just decide to cap every gunman after em til theres none left. but that don't work. so the decide to have a contest for best shooter and winner gets to be their Kaiser. its also a 16 bit sega genesis and super nintendo run and gun game with several player characters (billy, and his kids) and his woman rio runs the power up shop for extra lives or better guns like spreadshot. also she judges the final round where they have a shooting contest where they go through an obstacle course and take out big animals like elephants and rhinos.

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