Thursday, August 3, 2017

West Of Zanzibar Review

note; my spelling bad. make good read
west of Zanzibar
this is my review of west of Zanzibar
its got lon chaney and lionel berrymnore
its directed by tod browning(the 20s tim burton)
its starts with a magic show
lon chaneys a magician and his wife leaves him for another man
also the man cripples lon chaney by pushing him off a railing and he snaps his back
a year later lon chaney is wheeling around on a board with wheels like we used to play scooter hockey on in the 90s
his wife comes back but shes dead
he swears revenge onj the guy who swiped his wife
and his kid
18 years later in Africa (west of Zanzibar) lon chaney has a shaved head and lives in a 2 story house
he goes upstairs by climbing a rope with his arms
he always plays handicapped guys
but hes always the baddest a55 in the show
wait, was that 18 years b4 1928? or was 1928 the opening scene and this is 1946?
it never reveals it
he also does magic shows for the Africans
btw they are cannibals
and I think lionel Barrymore is his minion
he sez fire is the only thing evil spirits fear
and hes stronger than them
and then he eats fire
he also gives the cannibals gin
nowadays some malcontents would complain about them being cannibals
but things with guys like Hannibal lector are ok
and wrong turn
and texas chansaw massacre had an inbred cannibal fam
so at midnight lon chaney has someone in a bada55 suit scare the ivory hunters away and takes their ivory
the guy who stole chaneys woman is p-ssed as hes an ivory dealer
nowadays they'd make ivory hunting look bad
btw chaney is called dead legs
nowadays that would cause malcontents to go up the a55
chaney wants to send word to the wife stealer that hes the one who stole his ivory
but 1st he wants to bring the guys daughter back
in Zanzibar shes a bar and I think a h00ker
she leaves her home the bar and goes to live with lon chaney whos said he knows her father
later lon chaney wants the do to curt his back for some reason
the girl looks like my aunty alice with that hair and face features
she comes in and lional Barrymore is drunk
she thinks lon chaney is her dad but he sez hes noit
hes very sour and bitter
then they have a cannibal ritual and lon chaney leads em
when a guy bites it, they send his wife or daughter to h-ll with him
its the law of the congo
nowadays some dink might be triggered by that
spoiler; nowadays the congo is a warzone of r-pe and murder
oh, lionel is lon chjaneys dr who helps him stay able to crawl
so the next day lon chaney starts being a d-ck to the girl
she drinks from a glass and he has em break it
so he don't drink from it by mistake
also he has the girl eat on the floor
whats wrong with that?
I'm on the floor typing this and eating chef Boyardee
lionel is offended by lon chaney's d-ckness
also he gives the cannibals her clothes
later she talks with lionel
they start growing closer
he tells her shes a kid and can do anything she wants
I should mention the chick who plasys the girl had a hard real life
her bf's beat her
one studio guy she loved kept getting her pregnant and twisted her into killing their kids
then outed her when she revealed his abuse
she wound up dead at 46 from drugs
she was on drugs from too many beatings and surgery to repaid the beatings
sad tale
pray for her soul
so later the wife stealer comes by and lon chaney reveals hes the ivory theif
lon chaneys gonna pay him for everything
then reveals his identity as the magician
he shoes a trick to swap a skeleton in a box with the girl
shes drunk
he turned her into an alcoholic
lionel goes mental over him turning her into a drunk
also he sez he loves her and carries her off
the wife stealer laughs at the situation
lon chaney reveals its his rival and wifes kid
the rival is stunned as chaney grins like a c-cksucker
he raised her in the lowest dive in Zanzibar
and now shes gonna meet her dad as scum!
but rival breaks out laughing!!
cuz the girl is actually lon chaneys daughter!!!
man chaneys a good actor in here
rival revels she never b0ned him
after she found out he crippled chaney she hated him
chaney's face turns from laughter to rage to shock to remorse to horror
what a great actor
at night he reunites with his kid but she hates him
as a youth I came to realize, in revenge, the innocent must not suffer
they did nothing wrong
he tries to be nice but shes too hurt
he wants to take her away and reconcile
but she don't want him
then the Africans come in saying they shot her father(the rival)
lon chaney has them take the daughter to a back room and liponel Barrymore try to save the rival
b4 she goes he cradles her hair and comforts h4er (I think shes blacked out)
the rival bites it and lionel returns to see chaney in the back room cradling her saying "my baby girl"
the Africans come for her to send to h-ll with her dad
shes awake and lionel sez the guy wasn't her dad
but sez her dad bit it years ago
which is true is a way if you mean the man he was
as chaney kinda bit it and was reborn as a vengeance guy when crippled
lionel kisses the girl ands they decide to escape
but an African sees em
lionel wants lon to tell them the truth
but its too late. they wont believe him
especially after the way he treated her
I'm surprised he never4 b0ned her
tey cant get away as the place is crawling with Africans
so lon chaney tells em to get out
but he wants to say bye to her
I dont think theres time dude
she thinks its a trap and wont go to see him
he convinces her to forget hate and lon wouldn't do t if he hated
lon chaney and the chick playing the daughter both bit it in their 40s
lon has a moment with her and the Africans come in
he does a magic trick used 2x b4 in this film of having the girl in a box and they switch it with a skeleton
this is the 20s so I think they used a real one
lionel leaves and chaney(with his neck meda) does a trick in front of all the Africans as the girl and the lionel Barrymore escape
he finishes the trick and sez a spirit got the girl
the Africans don't buy it and rise against him
the next scene has an afrian pulling chaneys neck thing out of the fire
they cooked him!!
lon chaney pretty much always bites it in almost ll his films
usually sacrificing himself to save the one he loves
the end
that was good
was this based on a true story?
but lon chaney is always a great actor
and his work with creepy a55 tod browning is always great
like johnny depp and tim burton
jd lc
tb tb
check this one out
its worth hunting down
for west of Zanzibar 2 i'd like it to be right after the end of the 1st movie and  the lionel berrymore and daughter are fleeing the congo. the Africans are chasing em and are riding elephants and hippos and rhinos. they escape through a hidden trail to get to the airport sooner but its a forbidden area and they find the Mokele-mbembe(a living dinosaur) now the girl uses her now discovered psychic powers to communicate with it and control it to fight the africans on elephant and rhino and hippo. the rest of the movie ids them on it and battling Africa animals with stop motion cr-p like ray harryhausen and willis Obrien.

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