The Night Of The Grizzly Review

 Note: I Spell Un Bear Able

The Night Of The Grizzly

Thisa is my review on the night of the grizzley ftrom the distant future year of 1966

its starr clint walker, keenan (ivory) wytnn from Angels in the Outfield, naancy kulp from the 50-s a star is born and the aristocats, Ellen Corby from The Waltons, Leo Gordon from Hondo/Alienator and Big Top Pee Wee, Regis Toomey from The Big Sleep and cry danger, Victoria Paige Meyerink from The Andromeda Strain, and a buncha guys from the 20s i never saw in anything

its directed by Joseph Pevney who did iron man from 51, flesh and fury from 62, Female on the Beach from 55, Man of a Thousand Faces from 57, Twilight of the Gods from 58, and i never saw any of em

i nveer saw it before but it sounds like a cool idea for a movie

the title seems like one of those cheesy horror hilms from the midf 20th century

so we start with credits on red looking like spilled blood to country music  and a title lookking tough for the 50s

its in good color aqnd widerscreen

then this fam rides in on a cart and with a bull by a nose ring and are in a mountain place like the sound of msuic

they come to town and dad and wife come by this bank or something and is recognized as a guys son

they rode 150 miles in a wagon seat which would take 1 hour at high speed

dad owes a lot of money on this property cuz grandad took a loan and theres interest

this cowbow named sam comes by this pool hall and wants a salloon but these no booze here

some teens offer to get him booze for 10$ and he consents

daughter meets this beardo and talks to him and takes a nap by him as theres no child prerdators in the 1800s

dad's land was won by grandpa in a poker game and the guy wants it back but dad wants it even though he never saw it

meanwhile; some boys fight over being j-rkoffs in a 1 on severalbattle

the reents pay for the land and stop their song fighting those kids

the poker guy comes by and wants the land back and dad sez he paid the loan and poker guy goes off p-ssed

so the teens never came back and diner chick thought he's know better than trust lusty teens in a horror movie

the fam moves on to the ranch and ists all cr-ppy but dad has hope as itys his land

better to serve in heaven than rule in soviet california

at night this bird wakes up the girl and she goes out after it as your brain isn't fully formed until its in its mid 20s

which is why democrats want to lety 16 year olds vote

she checks out the nature and thinks a skunk is a catr but comes bak with the stink

robotech voltron! Rated R! For all the shower scenes!

Claudia: Lisa, do you have to take all those showers?!

Lisa; I have to! I got the alien stink on me!

clip from labryinth or w/e; if you touch it, you stink forever!

so dad is out chopping wood w/o a shirt for the chicks to lust aftewr his manly muscles

then he has dinner and daughter is outside as shes the stinkmeister

later bank guy comes by and meets sam and he warns of this 1600 lb h-llbear like pendemonium watchbear in Yugioh

the bear is too bada55 to fall to a trap, kills for fun, is smart enough tyo outfox humans and might be bulletproof

get a machine gun!

then poker guy comes by named currie liek dr curien in house of the dead almost

the teens with him are the teens who took sams money and sam takes it and causes a fuss

in the chaos control the bottle smashes and dad backhands the teens or something when they come at him

1 of the goons sez girl smells like a skunk and she assaults him

what a b--ch

currie has the boys pay back the 10$ and offers to buy the farm but dad dont consent

he's probably gonna be eated by the bear

so later dad goers to town and the pool hall chick is gay for sam

dad meets beardo and in a shed; the teens make illegal liquor

dad comes by and wants some stock and reveals he's an ex cop and smells the booze

they deny it but a drunk rooster strumbles aorund

the teens are gonna pull a gun on em but their ma comes out and tells em to help him get cr-p for dad who also wants hogs and other farm animnals

he gets some cows and they see buzzards above and find a dead cow

it was probably aliens or soace daermons mutilationg it

he finds a massive footpring of the killer bear and presses his foot in it

at night he plays guitar and sings a soft love song like its roboptech or something

wife comforts him and they have a soft moment

at night the animals spazz out and when dad and sam or w/e the drunk wanting guy get there; the bear attacks and busts through the wall like the kool aids guy

it f--ks out the dog and runs off and dad gets the dog to take to a dr

oh and sam;'s donkey got it

so they ride out and some guys come at em with guns and i think its the teens from b4

he scares em off and gets the dog to the dr

a blonde chats with pool owner abotu sam and the teens come by for the blonde

blonde is a relative dad and dad comes in telling em he's gonna pull ekm apart if they try it again

imagine him pulling their arms and tearing em off like that guy in ninja scroll

1 teen challenges dad to a fight as he got backhanded before

teen mouthes off to dad who backhands his a55 again and a fight breaks out

dad wins cuz he's a big strong he man and tghose guys are punk 20 year old teens and has a swig of the teens booze

currie comes in and sez to stop hassling dad and the teens will pay for the damage to the store

later dad is gonna pawn his sherrif medal star and i think what';s left of the horses a55 that got eat by the bear

he sells it and gets money and wants to buy a bull and the bank guy lets him have a little extra from his own pocket tyo buy it

oh the bull was iced by the bear, not the donkey

daughter peed her pants and left them on the water pump and dad takes em off

currie finds out that banker loaned dasd money and got the star as collateral and b--ches out on him

now no more loans for dad ubnless its to morgage his property

later its home and the bear a55 comes and the guys go out with guns to finish it!

but they find the sams horse all ripped openon the side and sam crys for it

oh mule! u were the only one i evber loved! i'll kae sure we'll always be together!(eats her)

nah thats violence jack

so dad is gonna go out and hunt the bear and mom trys to talk him outta it

so they go up and the bear gets behind em and they gotta jump off a cliff into a stream

i read that a russiuan boxer is in srs condition after killing a bear with a knife as it killed his friend

those freekin soviets

i guess zangeif was based on a true story

so dad comes back and thinks that after shooting it, the bear might stay away

they its later and they got pumpkins and then its a dance with a jack o lantern

pool chick flirts with sam and currie offers a high price for tyhe farm as its almost snow time

dad dont consent and kids look forward to fireworks

1 guy puit a fire cracker in a weatermellon and it pops

with a name like the night of the grizzly, i though this woul;d be a horror movie, not little house on the prarie

blonde and 1 teen getta long and another teen offers her a glass of punch but it turnbs her green

teen who likes her breaks the boose bottles in baD TEENS coat by mashing them with a pan and beasts him out

good use of colored lamps for the face coloring 

then the family goes back and all the animals are dead

i thinmk star wars ripped thisd off, but also the searchers

so dad goes for a loan but only if he morgages his farm and its only for 500$

he don't consent and later the wagon comnes in with some bodies on it from a bear hunt gone wrong

curieie collects money and sends for some tough guys to get the bear

later a bada55 comes in and has a long swig of booze and sends teen for curie

currie comes in and taslks and mom comes over and knows bada55 from b4

she books it and bada55 sez he respects dad but don't care for him

curie offers bada55 1000$ to get the bear b4 dad so he loses his farm and bada555 accepts

also dad is the most skilled in knowing about the bear

so bada55 goes to see dad and wants to know about the bear but dad dont wanna share his secrets

sodad in no shirt makes a bear trap and rubs it with rot meat

they talk at night abour sharing the reeward and the bear comes out at night

bear mauls the sam and dad shoots it a few times and it runs off

we get a sad scene and he bites it

but don't worry, he's just resting, he's gonna be ok

bada55 comes by and sees dad carrying the body away and goes after da bear

in the day thertes a service fgor sam and bada55es dogs get iced

dads gonna go out again and mom wants him to not and tells son they gotta get away with a camera zoom on him befre 

i assume he's gonna o out and try to ice the bear

so dad makes a deep pit and covers it but someone drops a log on it

when dad comes back he sees the footpront of bada55

after more traps against each other go off he is at a camprire and callls bada55 over for a drink

bada55 was in jail for years for wacking an innocent guy and dad turned him in

bada55 never forgave him and wants to ruin him and deny's having f'd dads traps

ddad plays sanother trap but when bada55 trys it, gets a double trapp nailing his leg

dad confronts bada55 over it and throws his damaged boots away sand bada55 trus to kill huk with a knife

they fight on and despite getting a few good hits, bada55 is beat

didn't he cripple his leg in a freakin bear trap?! how's he fighting so well?!

on da farm; the girls talk and beardo does cats cradle

mom wants to leave and hates how in her decade in Utah,, she worried if he'd come home as he was a cop

dad is there and mom is p-ssed he's trying to stop the bear and threatrens to leave him for fighting the bear

what a b--ch!

she wants himn to lose the farm and wants to run away and dad wants to stand strong and fight

dad sez hes goiung out and the son , who's had like 3 scenes about him this whole film, goes out to do something stoopid

later mom notices son is gone when daughter points it out and sez sorry to dad for being b--chy

so dad goes out and callls tp son annd bada55 hears annd eventually trys to j fk him

it only takes off his hat and dad counter attacks aND THE SHOT F---KED OUT bada55es eyes

he slugs out bada55 and later its night and bear comes for son

kid shoot at bear but drops his gun and climbs a tree

btw its really inconsistant on if its day or night

dad comes by and fires on him but bear nAILS  him so he hides in a hole and knifes at the bear

bada55 comes by and does jacvk sh-t and dad shanks the bear

son goes to help dad but bada55 saves him by attacking the bear, only to get mauled by it

dad empties his gun into it and after lie 500 bullets; it finally goes down

bada55 dies and dad comes back with son and its implied he;'s gonna get the reward for wacking the big a55 bear

the end

that was pretty good 

nice acting, clean wholesome story, good drama, good music and filming, good effects

nowadays the guy would be stoopid for finging the bear and the wife would be the "voice of reason" to stop him

Also the bear would be the "good" guy for defending its natural home

no swearing or nude scenes in here and no lust

just some 1800s violence

its a bit cheesy at times but has some heart\

For The Night of the Grizzly 2 I want the guy who wants tthe farm and ownms the bank to refuse to pay and clint has to take him to court. Also there are 2 smaller bears who arte twins and work together to take out more people and avenge their parent, the big bear from the 1st one, revealed to be their mom. And now cllint and currie gotta team up to fight the twin bears. Also its an 8 bit run n gun game on NES, Game Boy, Atari Lynx and 7800, TG16 and Sega Master Syste and Game Gear where you play as clint and curry and fight animals in the woods to get to the bear lair and take on their base.

The God Committee Review

 Note: I spell better than most committees run

The God Committee

This is my Review on The God Comittee from 2021(The year before the Pioneer Expedition in Robotech and after the events of Transformers Super God MNasterforce)

Its directed by Austin Stark(Tony's Nephew?) who did The Runner and stars Kelsey Grammer, Julias Stiles, Janeane Garofalo, Dan Hedaya and somne guys i never heard of

I never saw this before but is watching on Kanopy

After 4 lopgoswe get credits over b/w medical photoes

then teens talking about going to canus in 900 million years even though ther Universe is only 6000 Years as PROVEMN by Creration Science

The teens kiss and when boy teen goes on his bike, he dont look and gets run over

Then the hospital looks at him and finds he's an organ foner

title

its soviet new york in 2014(The year of the malcontent uprisings in Robotech) and Fraiser gets a call they got an organ doner from soviet bufalo

A chick makes him eggs but gets yolk in it and they talk about how the heart eater has 7 grandkids and she don't think she matters

I loved my grandma and still dream of her house to this day

friaser drop[s chick off and she gets b--chy over not walking her to da door like shes some kind of cripple

she walks over and sees the teen and his dad and lawyer

chick talks with a fata55 and he needs heart work and he wants to go home if he's rtejected again

she meets a priest who was a lawyer and is here for the heart committee

chick's mom was a make up chick and after chick's college homie bit it from 2 heart denials, she want into the heart thing

in a 1 hour is a heart comittee and she's now on it

grammer tells a guy his patient needs a transplant and the guy wants the patient moved up the list

then its 7 years later and and grammer is working with na pig and a babboonin december 2021 and makes a discovery

he goes out for a smoke but its not chronic and then meets a group where he says the pig organs can work with humans as they f'd its dna

that's kinda sick

btw, in 2021 they actually did a kidney from pig to human test and it worked

but this film was made in 2019

fraiser tested it in a monkey and it worked

back in 2014; khyron attcks the sdfg 1 with zentraedi ship andf the teen gets his organs removed and sent off to be fed to another guy

kelsey tells mrs vasquez, who is not mistaken for a man, unlike you! that they got her an organ for her

then sideshow bob talks with a woman about how budget cuts are gonna end his job and he ghoes to the committee

fraiser is gonna join the private sector after thius and they go over the possible recievers of the heart

fata55 lost 8 lbs in 3 months and hank mccoy dont think he should get it

but fata55 has 3 kids we know about and a good attitude and chick fights for him

the hospitals rating was devolved by a thing after 9 bit it

they vote and fata55 is upgraded to higher rank thanks to chick's vote

then vasquez bites it and they need to give the heart to someone in the hospital or its f'd

they break to get the facts togteher and on the roof; grammer chews nicotien gum

chick sez they gotta work tohgteher for a 1 month and they had some kid of failed relationship

shes bummed he dont think shes a good dr and he sez he thinks shes not cut out for the heart group

in 2021 this chick enfttened to 240lbs and chick votes to deny her an uipgraDE

now shes director of transport i mean plantand tells off guys for not getting protocall

grammer smokes and meets a guyabout the animal guts and he's not gonna last to finish the project from an f'd heart

and investor, the guy who wanted his patient moved up, wil give him funding if kelsey gets a new heart

invester offer to get him a heart, which i think will be from a victim

back in 14 the teem unitews and priest arrives

invester's son had a heart thing and his gf was cut up and he's offering a load of dough if they save his son

the hospital thinks if they do; they'll help others, but if son is on drugs, they cant give him it, and he was OD on blow months ago

in 21 fraiser is with the pig and reading of the future of transplanty with his photographe on the article

in a barpriest meets chickwho's having issues with survival issuesand calculating who's life is worth what

priest mntions how fraiser's heart is f;d and chick goes hm wit her mom and son there

in 14 they look over the next candidate who dont got fam but better health, buit is kinda b--chy

1 guy sez fata55 ate a bottle of pills years ago and now is on meds, but can't evasluatefata55 as his kid OD'd

priest says evaluating people on their issues is Playing God and Grammer sez he aint seen God in the 10 years he's been medding

in 21 grammer pukes and and they do the pig to monkey heart transplant

grammer nearly f;d up the operation and a dr sez grammer shoulsdnt operate

the investers pulled out and in months they'll know if monkey works pig kidney

btw this is quite widescreen and in color

in 14 grammer sezpriends got disbarred for f--king evidencer and foubd The Lord to get off easy

grammer talks with dr about how priest might out him voting against incesters kid

sons gf is pregnant and peoplr come in to c her

so son tests positive for blow and they only do a 2ndtest if patient disputes it, and hes out

1 member sez fata55 wants the heart and b--chy dont

1 med son is on canm test positive for blow and chick sez his woman is preggers

in 21 chick sees grammer and gives the finger to the camera to open the door

thats the password

grammer sez he aint gonna try to get on the doner list and she sez she wont try to get him to

he reveals he knew he's already dead and won't last 12 month with the new heart

she wants him to meet her son rick hunter as its fraisers son 2

dead beat dad!

in 14 they have 30 mins to use the heart and its not enuff to do another blow test

priest sez to ask sons gf to see if hes done drugs

chick asks her and gf is all f'd upand wont talk

chick sez shes maybe preggers too and tells her issues

gf wants a lawyer and sez son found out she was pregnant

he woke up with chest paiunds and as they went to the hospital she basrfed and hes germophobic

she sed hes pregnant and he threw her outta the car but her coat was in the car

he wasnt on drugs and did medication, and gf sez he loves her but shows it bad

in 21 grammer goes tosee his son and gives him a chemisty set

at the parkhunter draws himself as a hero and fraiser gets a call

turns out the monkey bit it and they gotta cut it up to see what appened

grammer sez to keep it quiet and dr sez to get a black market heart

grammer dopnt want it and d sez to tell the team or he will

in 14 grammer gets some records and tells the chick dr that son is afraid i mean allergic to the fake blow drug as he was sons dr for years

chick dr sez to go along with it or everything falls and she knows about grammers deal with gammer i mean invester

her life is f'd aND she wants to taske investers money

also she tells of how henry ford fought off unions and now his foundation hel;;ps people

but both those are good things

in 21 grammer reads a memorial for son who got it in 14 and priest gives a sermon about how The Lord grants us the virtue to find the light

in 14 the heart arrives by chopper and i just rewalized if we had flying cars; it would cause issues for organ trnasplant choppers

grammer shows priest the file saying son is allergic to it and tells him to have security get female dr out and vote w/p her

in the future;  invester founda heart in constantinople from a guy who stroked out and will be dead in a month

invester paid them for it as they were gonna donate it and kelsey is smoking and on oxygen

in 14 the team has 10 mins and pirest isnt there

female dr says she paiged sons dr and he didnt respond and someone found anitbiotics hes allegric to on him

chick sez son wanted to ice his son but wont speak about him throwing his pregnant gf outta a car

the people vote and it and priest is on the phone and goes somewhere with the file

chick se to vote for fata55 and guys whos dr seppuku'd votes for fata55

but grammer votes for the son with much disguntledness

btw the invester is named granger like tyson in beyblade

invester signs the 25 million to priest

in 21 grammer is eating cr-ppy food and smoking and has worked out more about the interspie=ces transplant

chick comes in and they talk about how after 6 months; son OD'd

she sezif he donty tske it, it might go to evil

like being eaten in some ritual?

kelsey sez he wont be a good dad to roy hunter

then in 14 grammer puts the heart in the junkie

priest sez the other 2 transplant needers lost and reveals he knows she soldf out, and now she needs to pay him off to keep it quiet

she's out and in 21 grammer is sent by plaine with chick to constantinople and he sees priest there

in 14 grammer smokes and chicm sez shes preggers and he has a moment with her

people complain about smoking in movies cuz its bad but are ok with b0ning

grammer sez he's gonna support the kid and she dont want it

in 21 21 they make it to constantinople and friaser's dead

see you in h-ll

so they fake him being alive by putting shades on him and moving him around

jk thats weekend at bernies

chick goes home and hugs her son and we get footage of grammer operating on animals as teens voices about the 900 million lighyears thng

chick now gives a pig heart to a human WHICH IS A F---KING ABOMINATION!!it beats

the end

then clips of scientists and drs who did medical advancements

that was a good one

somber and serious but not too horrible

good use of back and forth in time periods like D W Grifith did with Intolerance in 1916

good effects and twists

i kinda expected grammer to get the pig heart as a last ditch effort

shows what these people gotta go through to keep us alive

kinda like how in A Few Good Men how Jack Nicholson has to do hard things to keep us safe

its not a cherrful movie, but tells a serious story thats not all bad or good

its realistic and firm

glad i saw it

for The God Committee 2 I want it to be the 2040s and the line between Man and Beast has been blurred with screwing with their dna code and people being implanted with animal parts. some people chose extra enhancements like getting goat legs or horse man parts or ape arms or tails or moose antlers and have infested soviety/. Being stronger than humans, they oppress them and the humans fight back with exo armor tyhat lets them fight better. also its a 32 bit beat em up on Sega Saturn, PS1, N64 and 3D0 where you play as up to 4 players in exo armor and fight the animans to free the city from their black reign

Evangeline Review

 note; i spell poetic

Evangeline 

this is my review on Evangeline from 1929 100 years befgore the 2nd Robotech War)

its based on a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, which sounds like a p0nr0 name. and ios directal by Edwin Carewe who did nothing i saw or heard ofg

it stars Dolores del Río from The Trail of '98/Bird of Paradise, Alec B. Francis from The Circle, James Marcus from The Iron Horse/The Scarlet Letter/Sadiew Thompson, George F. Marion from The King Of Kings, Louis Payne from Quo Vadis/The King of Kings and a BUNCHJA GUYS FROM THE 1800S, some of who were around in the Alleged Civil War

i never saw this but i think my dad might have the classics illustrated copmic book of it, but i dont recall it

btw despite it being from 29, its a silent film, so its like a 1995 Sega Genesis game: one of the laters ones, but with good quality

so after a title thing and creditys like a scroll unrollingshowing credits and then a line of a pomem and saying its in somewhere called acadia in the woods by the sea

wait it acadieand is in this village like naruto or something where they live in peace and dont lock their doors cuz theres no druggies or homies roaming the streets

there's a good priest whop dresses likea  black robe monk and a big a55 blacksmith like dmr edwards from robotech i mean little house on ther prarie

also is a fiddler whos jolly and a notery, w/e that is, who's trolled by fiddler but they get allong

oon the hillside is the rich farmer and evangeline who is cheerrful

the son of the notary comes by and is into her and sez he loved her since they were kids

but she is into another ghuy and it kinda bumms him out

one way out; make a clone under your control of her as a slave

he wishes her the best and goes off to eat his gun or w/e and she goes up and acts all lively and girly

this manly guy on a boat, the son of the blacksmith, comes by and evangeline has the priest bless her

she goes to the sea and boat  gets there and manly comes up and hugs her

thay talk about love and joke around and the church bells ring and they pra

later rich guy sez this frenchie guy rene is coming for her marriage contract but she is gonna riun off with manly man

some guys come by and i think its the blacksmith and his son

was that the guy who loved hert b4? i cant recalll

thern notery comes by and i think notery's son is the frenchie

the marriage contract is for her and manly guy and eva brings bugs of beer or grog or w/e

eva and manly go out to a stream anfd plegde their love as long as the water runs and kiss

but in 199X: the nucular war dried out the seas in Fist of the North Star

they are lovey dovey and she sings a song he loves

but its a silent film so we only near the piano

i assume its a song well known in the 20s i never heard of

later the town gathers as theres a proclaimation from the evil regent  king george 2 saying they are going to war with soviet france and are drafting them

the people dopnt consent and aare going to halifax to petetion the goverenor

this is in canada? where's all the moose riden by sasquatches?

btw; in 1776; When America cast out the regent's forces, those who chose to be subserviant to the regent went up and started canada

its like if after the civil war if many freed slaves went down to brazil to return to their past life

so the people go to the governor and say they serve the regent but are frenchies by blood

so they're double devolved?

and they dont comnsent to being sent to war against their own kind

but the governor says they are subjects of the monarch and have no right toi dissent

they whine more and the governor says he's gonna consider it

blacky mcsmith says his village will never fight france and leaves

its like how in te 2021 election in canada how chinees canadians voted against the alleged conservative candidsate for saying he'd take on the commie country of china

so later the troops are loaded on ships and the governor is sending col windslow on a secret mission w/o the crown's consent or request

windslow suggests not going aftrer the arcadians bvut governer gaylord dont care

in the village hidden in the arcade; theres as feast and dance of the wedding of manly and eva, but notery jr is disgruindtled

fiddler is bummed but the girls get him a mug of soda or rootbeet  or w/e 4kids trurns booze into and he's back into playing music

remmember that ep of hannibal where that guy was stealing intestines to make violin strings?

so the people in arcade's revenge are jolly and happy and a swarm of soldiers come by and tell the men to assemble in the church

the people dont like it but priest says the evil britmoes wont attack em in the Church

in there they are toold the gov is stealing their land for not doing the govs bidding, its to be burned and they're fams will; be sold to otherlands

now they are prisones of the crown and blacksmithg calls for defiance

the people rise up to fight for freedo but the priest calms em, by saying The Hpuse of the Lord is not for violence

they pray and ask for forgiveness

later its night and manly is 1 of 20 alllowed to sayt bye and tell the people big gov is taking their homes and freedom

she has hope and believes in her love and they'll make it

later the people are rounded up and sent off on ships to far away lands by their rival countrymen

like with the africans soild to Europe and The Americas

also families are separated like those mexicans coming over in 2014 but not cared about by the news until 2018

then like in bravceheartr or with general sherman; the bad guys burn the peoples homes as the fleeeing people watch

the priest prays and whenn they land; the fiddler is harassed and his prized fiddle is stomped on

wait; they didn't leave yet i think

eva wants to get on the same boat with man;ly and goes to get her dad

as they go, dad fallls and she helps him and manly is pulled away by the brits and knocxked out

evas dad bites it and manlyt is thrown in a boat and shipped off as sahe waves and cal;ls to him and goes in the sea

she goes back and they yell to each other

the news of the arcaniran movement gets to soviet england and the people are p-ssed

brad i mean bill pitt complains about it in the house of commons despite england being the f--king bad guy since like the robin hood days

king john (who b0ned a 8-15 year old) oppressing the people, queen victoria'S SINS,  i mean elizabeth 1, the evils on the irishmen scottsmen and other groups, henry 8 chopping up his women, wrongly accusing oscar wilde of sodomy, stealing americans on boats for forced servitude yto the regenmt and starting the war of 1812, war crimes in ww1 and 2, being part of the rasputin wacking, charles taking out diana and his other women, the royal wedding sh-tting up the news, censoriung nunchaku and f--king sausages cuz they look like nunchaku in ninja turtles, banning and forcibly censoring movies as a few crusty brits at the bbfc are triggeredm, banning guns which leads to knife crime and knice control laws

lets face it; they s-ck!

we otta just nuke em! they got it coming, worked for sodom and gomorrah

so eva is searching the states for manly love annd later its been 5 years since being exiled and some are finding each other in the confederate states

she looks for her manly love and finds noterys soin i think, who sez ain't seen him in 3 years

1 guy sez in saint lewis 2 years ago he was seen but she looked for him there

a year agho he was in new orleens but when she was there he wasnt

so they're in the bayou like billy and eva is staying with noterie son who's stoll gay for her

she only thinksd of her manl;y alpha male bf andgoes off to find him

brw, noterie looks kinda like marvels loki

so manly bf is roaming aroyund on a canue and is dressed like danmny crocket and hears her singing

but then gives up and they go by missing each other with a thing of plants between em

the black smith is now a herdsman and eva and her daddy come by

he looks like he's be porthos in the  muskweteers

so she hears he just left for her yesterday and tomorow they'll go out for him

she sees manly mans room and smellshis clothes

mmmmm, man musk!

that salty sweaty smell guys get from being manly

oh wait, its not her dad, its the priest

so they go out and priest gives her a blessing and after a few days; lose his trail

so they're in the ozareks and going through ruff watter and the boat f's out

she gets to shore and the other guys are gone and she runs through the woods calling to him

she runs through the darkwoods scared kinda like disney ripped off in SAnow White and then a storm comes

a 9 foot tall sasquatch come out and says "I have longed for a human woman for some time" and reaches for her

jk really she sees a Crucifix on A TREE and waits out the storm clinging to it

after the storm she sees a priest and asks for his help

so she wanders for years and is is philedelphia  helping those in need

i guy knows her name and she recognizes him as hher manly bf

shes overcome with emotion and he has her sing to him for a while

the end

that was pretty good

nicce camera work and style

sort of like an early 30s film

tells a good story and has great emotin

shows how evil the brits are and how their rules ruin humans and frenchies

I'm not sure when this takes place but its gort good style and feel

i enjoyed it and it works

plus the "people living in peace before the bad guys attacked" was ripped off by The North Star

For Evangeline 2 I want it to be 1776 and her and her man are siding with America as under cover ops toi deliver messages between Americans and help defeat the brits. Also they have severasl gadgets made by ben franklin that aid therm. Its also a 16 bit cinematic platformer like Out Of This World/Another World on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA whee you gotta get past the brits and solve puzzles and use items to save America

Practical Magic Review

 Note; i spell without the black arts

practical magivc

This is my review on Practical Magic from 1998 (The year of the Global Civil War in Robotech)

its based on a book i never read and was directal by Griffin Dunne who did movie 43

aw f--k! its directed by i mean produced i mean writtwn by akiva goldsman who did batman forever, batman and robin, lost in space, the da vimnci code, angels and demons, the dark tower, annd trANSFORMERS 5

it stars sandra bullock, nicole kidman, Stockard Channing from Grease 1, Dianne Wiest from Edward scoissorhands, Aidan Quinn from Benny and Joon, Caprice Benedetti from Shaft 4, Evan Rachel Wood fromThe Ides of March, Mark Feuerstein from What Women Want, Lucinda Jenney from G I JANE and Thinner, Margo Martindale from Lorenzo's Oil, and a buncxh of guys i never heard of, ooh, 1 is Croation!

i nevdr saw this b4 but its on tv and ooh, its produuced by denise di novi and has music by Alan Silvestri who did mac and me and the suiper mario bros movie

so after credits we get narration of chicks blamed for everything and now their ancestor was a witch who got hung in the past

aslso she had some kinda magic that she used to break the rope and everyone runs off

she was banished to an island pregnant and no one came to see her, so shecast a spell to not feel love that became a curse that kills the familys bf's

narrators husand bit it after hearing the death beetle and now she lives with her witch fam

also kids dont likethe kids  for being witches and now they practive the lack arts

1 grl has better magic than the other and fantasizes about her future bf as if he dont exist, he wont die

thn uses some E T sh-t to sends flower pettles to the moon

then its the 90sor w/e andthe girls are adults and kidman has a bf and sandra is a nerd

they talk about living together forever and dying on the same sday and cut hands and mix blood  as blood rituals are used in evil

so kidman is burning through guys n a grand tour and sandra misses her and wants to be normaL

LATER SANDRA IS GARDENING IN TIGHT JEANS WITH A BVUTTSHOT LIKE ITS DBGT AND THEY PLAY 90S MUSIC  AND SHE goes to see ths guy shes gay for and they make out

then shes married and has 2 kids and is going well

kidman is a party chick and has a butt buddy who seems like the crow or something who i',m pretty sure she's b0ning

then in bed with her fam, the killer beetle toll;s for sandra

she truys to ice it as bike guys go by him safely, but then a trick slams his a55

sandra goes to her raisers whosay they cast a spell thsat got him to er but they didnt know he'd love her

sandra wants to bring him bak but it wqouldn't be right or normal, like FMA or Pet Semetary

she dont care and dumps her kids on her aunts or w/e and sez "don't liet em do magic"

holy f we're only 20 mins in

so kid man is with some ewuropeany guy andputs some sh-t in the booze when hes not looking

then a cool effect of day to night or w/e as kid man drives and san dra wakes up in bed with kid man

sand wants to open a shop and chats with kid man about her but buddy from eastern europe and has a weird vampure thing going (But not f-kkin ghey like twilight)

kid man is drugging him for time away like a reverse polanski as hes not being butt hammered

thensand wakes up and kid man aint there and goes to te shop as 90s music plays

kids yewll that these girls are wutches and 1 girl pointsand sez "i hope u get chicken pox" and the people are scared

sand sez not to do that and she whines abnout sand having all this powwer and not using it

at hope where sand and girls now live; the older ones ate telling of the familys black arts past

sand tells em not to do that and later writes an emo letter of her feelings

she mails her letter and the phone ringsand this chick is scared and needs help

sand is going ouit and the older ones are gonna take the kids to a demon ritual like in haxen fromthe 20s

sanfd goes to kid man and gets her as her eurotrash bf slugged her after she said something that offended him

kid man goes to get this item but sleezo is in the car its in and catches her and makes ssand drive as he drinks and smokes

sleezo goes on about cowboys and kid man sends a messaghe to sand where her drugs are

sleazyo tries to brand kid man but sand uses the chaos to get the bottle and drug it

after whizzing and the drugs shoulsdvekicked in by now, he gets back and strangleds kid man and sand get on him

so he blacks out as he OD'd and kd man Prays to The Lord to get outta this

Good that your going back to the Light,ut all that daemon magic...

kid man thinks they're gonna get the chair and decides to use black maghic to revive him

his corpse takes a beat down as its dragged and bumped, but if it were guys doing that to a woman, it would be "hate"

so they do naecromancy and avoid needling the eyes , draw a pentagram in whipped cream, and say the daemon worship words

his eyers open as they didnt needle em and he strangles kid man fore not being his wife and sand frying pans his head like shes princess peach in smash bros melee

they bury him in the park or backyaRD OR W/E AND the next day the ladies and kidfs come back

so later sand is in class and kkidman comes in a 5kanks it up

oh its the pta and sandara is now the top of the phone tree as thisis pre e mail

later in da garden somethings moving f--k andthe sandra, kid man and the ladies hare margaritas and drnkenly party\

kid ma calls the aunts old hags and they ramble on aboutr drunkeness

black arts and booze?

what next? cocainum?!

they realize the bottle wasthe one sleezo had and kid man shatters it in da sink

aunts (like in sabrina?) see the sisters did something but leave em

aunts give the kids the hanging rope to protect them and 1 girlknows theres a man under the rosesand wont go out

kids tell sisters that austs told em to clean their own mess and outside this rose bush grew overt night

the sleezyos feet poke out from under the ground but go under

they chop the roses and a cop comes by asking to see kid man as he's working on a case

holy cr-p its aiden quinn

sand tells kid man and says she can't lie to him and kid man sez to say she left after getting hit and hasn't seen him

ai deed naht heet haa sheez lai ing! eets bool sh--t! ai deend naht nbheet haa! Ai deedf nahhhhht! oh hai mark!

cop saw her letterand sez he need s to find him and kidman 5kanks up for him and reads his palm

cop knows she is lying as the sleezoes car is there and sand screwed up ly rambles on

cop revealsd the sleezyo had other victims he branded and wants help finding sleezo

cop looks through towen and they bash the witche, even 1 eityh cvhicken pox

ar the shop cop is there and seez a guy who has some issue with his head product i think goes on his parts

cop sez hes gonna see sand the next day and at night kid man goes out and tells sleezo to go away

latwer kids are making a spell with kid man and can;t let sandra know as she donty do magic

kid man tells the kids of the imaginary bf and talks about the good feelings and dangers of love

so cop comes by and asks about the drugs and how witches use it and she sez they ate witches and ice their husbands

she sez how they just make herbal remedies and donty worship demons(spoiler; where do you think magic comes from?!) and how theres other kids of magic

when asked if she's hiding sleezo she sez "not in this house" and if sghe iced him says "a few times"

cop throws the pancake high and catches it and later they have pan cakes

cop uses syrup but the girls throw it in the sea\

a grog eats it and burps up a ring and cop sez they better get a laywer

the sisters b--ch at eacvh other over sand faking being normal and her kids aint either aND KID MAN WANTS HER POWER

sand is gonna tell the truth to cop and at his placesees the letter she sent was read a lot

she sez sleezo is haunting them and says "if i did ice him, would i go to jail for ending a guy like him"?

which is mad max logic of thrtowing out the laws

cop sez sleezo needs to ber punished and she sez he was

cop offers to help her and smooches her for a bit

then they smake outy andshe sees he's got eyes like her dream ghuy and stops and gets out b4 b0ning him

sand hears a voice and runs home and her kidsa re freaked outsand finds kid man posessed by slewezy and his forme come sout of herbod

ghost b0ning?!

thats naecrofilia@

cop is there and stands off with sleeso and dleezo reaches in cip but stops cuz the star on the badge burnsd his ghost hand

cop holds the badge ip and sleezo poofs off in dust

later sand tells what happened with sleezo and cop is confused

he sez her letter and her brought him here as he read it 1000x

sand sez she sent for him as she made this love spell asking for the perfect man that wouldn;t exist but now it do

now she dont know if hes here for the spell or if he actully loves her

he sez curses only have power when u belive, and he dont

like how gravity only exists if you notice it

f--kin loony toons logic!

oh and he asked or wished or w/e for her too

later kidfman hugs sand and starts lezzing out and is posessed by sleezo so sand backhands her 65kank a55 intio the bookshelf as the aunts and kids arrive

they tie up kid man(ike ms pac man?) and aunts need to remove the spirit to h-ll

sand calls the phone tree and comes out as a witch and the other ones spread the word

so they prepare the ritual and theres all these frogs being sommoned like in Exodus

so theres a parrfy and all therse people who feared her and here for her and trhey go to do the ritual on kid man

but shes a ghost and is haunting them!

they wrap these brooms aroundf in a wirrd hard circle and chant

the house grows flesh and slime and crothc monsters arew summoned!

jk thats splatterhouse 3

so evenatully kid man spazzes out and jerks around and falls on da floor in the broom edged circle

kid man wants to let sleezo take her so the rest will be safe and we get the sad moment ervery film gets

sand sez they were to die together and gets the curcle back together and gives posessed kidman a bottle of booze

kid man spazzes out and the chicks grab her as sdandra cuts their hands and mixes blood and the memories blast light and kid man is free

the black sh-t dust from sleezo goes up and falls and the chix sweep it up, throw it outside, and dump boiling cr-p on it to seal it

later a report is sent to sandra to say the wacking of sleezo was concluded to be an accident

thern 90s music as aiden quinn returns and makes out with sandra bullock

then its halloween and the sisters are plauying witrches on the roof in high heels, jumpo off the roof and float on black umbrellas

i think its said the curse if pbroken somehow now

then aiden and sandra make out

the end

thats not so bad

good color and lught and 90s feel

it promotes the black artsa but tells a good story

i didnt see the plot twists  and it was pretty fuin

good romance story and good msuic and feel

good acting and effects before cg ruined everything from overuse

glad i saw this

its a decent one

For Practical Magic 2 I want the aunts to reveal to the sisters that its time for the final level; pledging themselvees to a daemon who their maghic comes from! but sandra dont want it as she dont wanna be evil. So the witches say if she can complete this task; she will be freed from the daemons grip. its also a 32/64 bit game on n64, playstation, sega saturn and panasonic 3do where you go through these haunted woods and castles to fight bosses andn get items needed for the ritual to free yourselfd from the daewmon, but in the end it just summons it and you need to fight it as the game boss

The Lincoln Lawyer Review

 Note: I spell confedrtate!

The Lincoln Lawyer

This is my reviewe on the linloc lawyer from 2011 (The year of Transformers The Headmasters and Robotech)

Its based on a book i never read by Michael Connelly who did bloodwork

it starts mattew mcconnalhwy, marisa tomei, Ryan Phillippe from I Know What You Did Last Summer and Igby Goes Down, John Leguizamo from the Good Super Mario Bros Movie, michael pena from mule, bob gunton from demolition man and the shawshank redemption, frances fisher from titanic, bryan cannston from that macross spin off dub, billianm h mascy from jurassic park 3, Trace Adkins, shea whighham from big miracle, michael pare from the virgin suicides, and a buncha dinks i never heard of

its directal by Simon i mean Mark I mean Brad Furman who did cr-p i never saw

i never saw this b4 but heard the name and thought it was based on something by john gruisham

this was rated R in America, 16+ in Poland, 12 in spain netherlands, portugal and germany, and 11+ in Denmark and norway

so after several logos (we know its lions gate! p-ss off! we don't gotta see it 15 times in a minute!) we get credits and shots of mattthew mcafrica in a car

man this is f-kkin widescreen

so he goes to wurk and luigi from mario bors the movie is his minion

always a number 2

\this guy is accused of beating up a chick and matt from digimon goes to court to do his lawfyer thing and gets a guys name wrong but remembers him from xmas from a gift he gavbe him

he meets this manson looking c-ck sucker named harold and defends him in court and asks for an extention to find a witness that isn't real

he gets it and goes to his big black car with NTGUILTY (Now Now Totally Guilty) and calls this blonde to remind him toi give the wrong name guy 200$ for xmas

his driver asks to stay on and matty sez he got his licsnece bnack 3 months ago

then a biker gang comes at em cuz its mad max or w/e and they stop for em

tyhe leader sez his homie harold sez math is stalling til he gets more money and math sez hwo he's gonna get him feree but needs more money

they pay him and as they drive away, he tells his driver   they dont gotta fly in the expert as the best are alrteady in sovieyt hollywood

this is california?! no wonder its f--jked!

then math meeths a teen whois 32 and gives him his stats

a scuzzy guy wants math as his laywer but her sez to wait his turn and teen sez he only has parking tickets and no big charges

later math flirts with a procesuter marisa who sez the teen was found in the victinms home wcovered in blood

they argue for letting him ror or not and hes out on 1 million dollers and an ankle monitor

he meets the dfamily lawyer of the teen and is told to be sensitive of the media

he stops a camera guy who recorede them and buys the tape off it

lawyer sez the teen chose math and math says his price wjhich is high

that laywer looks like lindsey graham

then he meets camera man and splits his money with him and returns the chs tape as he set him up to take the footage to look good

this guys some kind of t r edwards

then math meets a junkie and is also a h00kewr who b0nes guys for money or drsgs and 1 was mexican

math looks into it and the mexican is a furetive and tells where he was to drop the charges

so then math meets teens fam and team and tells mom the money has to come from teen and she can wire him the dough

also she leaves so she can't be used as a witness to what she hears

he sez hes innocent and tells how he went out to a party to pick up chix and saw the victim not into her date and dropping her address on a napkin to him

the prosecution doesn't have much b4 he weent to her place and he got there early and saw the bf leave inn a blueferrarri mustang

he went in and she knocked him out with a headshot and when he woke up these 2 queers from down the hall hwere holding him down

she set him up and put blood on his hand and might've had her butt buddy beat her up

we get the girls side saying he broke in and beat on her and had a knife on her neck

he sez its not his knife and she sed she stopped him with a bottle to the head

later mathmech is having a beer with macy and marisa i think brings him home as hes had too much

he looks kinda devolved and flirths with her as she goes off

da next day macy comes by with the bar camera feed and it backs up teens story and show butt vbudd y is left handed as the watch is on his left hand and the footage is morrored or something

i wore my watch on my right hand and i'm right handed

math shows the opposition who offers 7 years for battery and math and macy go over thew files andfind the kniofeww photo was swapped for them

they check with teen and say he lied about the chick being a h00ker and he sez he didnt want his mom to know

he sez the knife he sed wasnt his wasnt and he always carrys the knife as he shows homes to people they dont know

1 time this guy raeped his mom on a home show and stopped showing holmes

at night he goes to bring a kid to marisa's place and irts implied they made her b4

da next day he talksd with a guy about a past clkient who got hard time and iced someone and this giuy hates math for getting bad guys off

math says he had as client who iced his wife and kept her head in a fridge, but the DA trtied to add things he didnt do

then he meets merisa and chats over beer and wind up back at her place to b0ne

the next day she wakes yp withn their kid in bed with them as she has nightmares

marisa b--cvhes at math for keeping guys outta jail and she sends em there

later math goes over the photoes of the alleged civtim and goes through his files

then he goes to jail to visit a guy who was accused of a crime and admits to b0ning a h--ker

he suggests a deal but the guy says hes innocent

wait, thats a flash nack and he seez the same guy who the fl;ashnavk guiy was charfged for did this teens chick h--ker

he goers to see the guy from flashback, nowe with a shaved head, and he sez at this p0rn0 cluub he met this h--ker and went back with her but saw her talking to a guy

msath shows the guy mug shots and he eventually he snaps as he dont trust math

math goes backand tells m,acy the shavwed head guy was not guilty as the killer shanked the h--ker over 50x

math didnt believe the guy wa innocent as his dad said an innocent client is the most dangerous as if you lose they're f;'d

now math sees teen did it and the last guy is in jaiul for teens criomes

and he cant tell em as hes his atturuny

math driunbk drives out and goes home and wants to look into other chicks teen did

but his door is open and teen is there saying hes in real estate and he knows what mnaths upto

he admits he iced the 1st girl and  that ne knows about maths  daughter and her life

so its trial and he gives a speech vaguely implying 1 of them, chicxh or teen, is the real predator

later he goes to this crime scene where a guy got capped, and his little dog too, and its macy windoo

the dad from malcom in the middle is a cop and is retiring in 18 months and is a smarta55

then he goos too see luigi and reveals that luigi sent him to teen and teen iced macy and luigi is the only one who can take the tracker off teen

after more booze he goes to see marisa (which is like Japanese for Melissa) and tells her the teens a killer

the next day he chex his answering machine and macy sed he found somthing on teen to save shaved head and was then iced

math mech calls a cop and finds a certain gun iced macy and he finds his guns gone

at da trial the guy in the ferrarri mustang sez he b0ned the h00ker and denies hitting her

later malcoms dad and lady cop have a warrent for his place and search it

the gun was used by a gangster in the 40s that maths dad got off and they stil have the ballistics on file

blonde sez the guy macy had wasa court snitch and is in rehab and math goes to see the junkie b4

at da trial victim sez she knew him from b4 and plays word gumnastics to make her look bad

also he makes her not being known to the h--kers as dangerous means hes safe

after lunch the defence shows their side and mom sez her son carrys a knife cuz someone he knew was raeped and her son found her

the defence sez tthey can do 6 month but teen dont want to deal and msath is putting himon the stande tommorrow

math tells his driver to get something and later hes cross examinining teen who says hes innocent

btw the teen is a frenchie so it explains whoihes a purvo

look at the marquis de sade!

the offense sez to call a rebuttal witness tomorrow and later math checks a list and seez someone iss on there

in the courdt later the witness is said to be the snitch and the juryy is calls out for the laywers to argue

they do and mcafroica puts up an argument but the offense wins and math goes to da hall to make a call and tellsa a chick to come at a set time with a printout

the scuzzy guy from b4 is da snitch and sez teen admitted to giving a (word blanked out on bounce) exactly what she deservbed

math goes on about how scuzz bucket snitched on 4 guys and scuzz sez teen braghgs about icing girls b4

defence i mean offence gets scuzz to say about the other girl teen iced and guy who hated him b4 is there

matjh grills scuzz over fingering a guy of b0ning a 10 yeaR OLD AND the guy was innocent

and now he sez doing this for the offence

judge sends jury out, b--ches at laywers over putting a liar on the stand

later teen in the toilet wants to know how scuzzmo got the info and math sez macy did it b4 teen iced him

the offence lawyer drops the case with predjudice and now tyewen cant be charged with this beat down again

after the trial math sez he wants the gun in whisper and the cops come for teen for icing the chick b4

math sez he's down being teens lawyer and  teen sez he styill has teens gun i mean mayths gun

math sez; have fun esxplaining how you got it and they take teen away

macloms dad sez "whos side u on?!' and later math goes to his car weith a ticket in it cuz driver ws getting food

driver has brought what i think is math mcaids dgun back for him and drives him home

he checks his message and calls marisa who sez teen got out and he knows a parking ticket thing to nail teen

he  tells get tro gfet outta town and calls luigi to track teen on his tracer

he drives ona cellphone wihile taliing to luigi from kland of the dead or w/e

at a place by a house teen meets math mcdonalds and tells him to take 1 chance to gtfo

teen sez he's not gonna be there all night to protech his fam and the bikers bust up teens car and teen

math sez "hospital, not morh=gue" and lets these mad max dudesd wail on him

marisa sez teen got a ticket outside the place he iced that chick and later he goes home and teens mom is there and wants revenge for her "innocent" son

she caps himand sez she iced macy and he counter shots her with his dfirearm

conceal and carry saves lives

math later gets outta the hosputaL AND  driver drives him saying shaved head is out and teen is gonna get the needle if the loawres win

then the bikers come for him and he stops and they talk about him capping thew clients mother

biker sez his guy got caught with 50 kee lows and they owe him for helping him and he sez he'd do it for free

later to driver ther bikers are rpeat custyomers an dhe';d get em next time

the end

that was pretty good

mathew mcd0ng is good ast being sleazy but not evil

good twists and surpirzes and logic

good use of showing how tough it is for lawyers

i watch a lot of law ands order and this was a good twist

its ike 2 hours without adds but goes by at a good pace

dont drag and has good style

glad i saw it

its a solid legal film

and just like a time to kill; mathew mcarea is defending a guy who did it and finds a loophole 

for The Lincolon Lawyer 2 i want it to be about ther trial about the guy fronm the 1st movie but thanks to evidence being hishandled, he is seeming to go free, and with the bikers beating him up, he's shown that mathew was against him. and mathew has to help them from the shadows to get the case back on track. its also a point and click adventure on sega cd, tg16 cd, panasonic 3D0 and Phillips CDi where you play as the lawyer and gotta find the clues by talking to people and choosing the right option

Sidewalks Of London Review

 Note: I spell without the EXTRA U's like da britz!

Sidewalks Of London

This is my revierw on sidewalks of London from 1938

It starts charles laughton, vivien leighh, rex harrison, Gus McNaughton from Storm in a Teacup, Edward Lexy from The Winmslow Boy, Maire O'Neill friom the 51 A Christmas Carol, CyrilSmith from Storm in a Teacip, Ronald Smith from Brighton Rock, and a few 1900s dudes I never heard if, homie

its duirected by Tim Whelan (Like Weylan-Yutani from Alien?!) who did the 40s thief of bag dad and nothing i saw

I never saw this but its also called St Martins Lane, London After Dark and Partners Of The Night\

Huh, its produced by Erich Pommer whgo did Metropolis

so after like a minute of credits to nice backgrounds, we get text saying in soviet london frin starts on da street and theser performers perform to make money

we see people singing and playing acordian ike hes weird al jan kovich

1 guy is swarmed with peeons for an autograph and a chick almost gets 1

its oin good b/w and has fullscreen

a fata55 announces some performapal cvandy a55 in attackmode and no one cares

he looks like a striaght james corden

wait, hes the performer and is doing a spoken wortd thing like a rap but not as homie

chick slugs him cuz he was holding her wrist of womething  and no one gives him movey for his cr-=p

then some musicians play msuicand dudes dance like how people think white people dance(and have never seen poles or soviets)

chick has a food with a guy in super blackface like hes candya55 trudeau or sometrhing

chick tells a guy shes a dancer anbd as she goes on, fata55 comes by as shes ta;lking cool

he b--ches out and after a brush with da cops, a fancy guy offers him a smoke

chick jacks the smoke case and as she goes, famcya55gives her a flower

fata55 followes her a55 and theres a chase through soviet england like a its a 30s movie OR SOMETHING

she escapes in an apartment and has a smoke as Hitler didnt reveal the dangers of smoking for as few years(not true! somking is safe! its just alt right conspiricy that smokes are dangerous! dr's agree: tobbacco is healthy! esp toasted tobacco! they wouldn't say it if it wasnt true! They knowe what they are talking about! they're dr's! you aint!)

she dances around the apartment and fata55 busts her and is gonna tell da cops and she defends herself as "i deserve it! why can't i have it" like some millennial commie saying the world owes them

he trys to explasin it and says how lkifes like a joke and she b--ches out slugs him

if he punched her it would be violence, but her throwing the 1st punch 2x is ok as i guess men have less protection than women

he grapples her but cops are comming and they escape to his place and he blocks the door with a chair

he puts newspaper in his shirt and takes an coat and goos too a chairto sleep

she gets the bed as i guess brit mo women are higher status tyhan men

da nexte daye a cat comes by and he lets it in and da fam downstairs eats a breaskfast

he sews something on a machineand a kid comes up and sees chick with him as she cuts herfinger on a brioken cup

kid wants to see the little boy and he sends kid down and fata55 pulls out a ventriloquist dummy to show chick

kid tells fam fata55 has a lady in his room and they think he';s b0ning

chick bp-ches out about something and worries fata55 will turn her in

he sez he wont if she lets him go in her motth

jk thats weinstein

they go down and family head confronts them and she b--ches out so he locks her in a room

he explains they didn't b0ne and she busts up his items as she s a b---ch like in gone with the wind

he goes back in and cleans up her mess and comforts her as shes emotional and unbalanced and sez sorry for busting up his place and being a c-ckl sucker

dont fall for it! give her the back hand!

you were king henry the 8th! chop her up!

he wants her to be his leading lady and wow we're 30 mmins in already

so later he comes back and she made him a b day caKE and cleaned up the place, and she was only off by 1 year

then some of his droogs come in and chat and sing and play music

so later fancya55 comes in saying thasnks for returning his smoke case (which i think fata55 did) and she does a peerformance to him tio show her ability

later on a bus people see the performapsls and fancya55 comes by in a  20s car

he comes by after their show and brings fatA55 And chick to meet his fellows

cop shoves fata55 along for blocking traffic and fancya55  chats with chicvk b4 she goos

later at a bar fata55 chats with xchick and gives a toaste

she sez in a decade there wont e performers on the outside and hewr rtents were flower sellers like in pygmallion

she walks out despite fasta55es orders and goes tollsee fancya55

So chick dances for a high cllass thing for fancya55 and fata55 waiyts for her at night

the next day chick is broyught back by fancya55 and they make out

she goes upstairs and fata55 is styill waiting for her as he didnt sleep and he criticizes her for being out but sahe dont care

i guess night basketbsall taught him to function w/o slleep

hes probably drunk AND they biucker a bit and i think shes gonna ditch the group

he grabs her and sahe greaks out at a hiug and runs out byt he stops her and sez he wants to marry her

she b--ches out as i think in the REAL version he was b0ning her but they cant shoew it cuz its the 30s

the other guys come out and she goes i mean he goes off

so with a mointage of playbills; we see her risingthrough the ranks andbecoming a star

theres a scebne of a theatre withpeople practicing harmonica sand cr-p shot at an angle as she dances thats kinda cool

after a scebe of her performing; shes beciome a big a55 star and fata55 is aware of it from looking at an add ffor the plasay being sold out

so shes like Jack Atlas in Yuguohg 5Ds and ARC V where she's ascended her sklum past and is saccepted by thre cool guys

except shes kinda b--chy about it and picky

fancya55 is still sdmooching her and later fata55is not performimng with the gang but their dog runs to him

a bandmate sees him buthe runs and dog follows so he ducks into a public bar

so in the show theres chicks in outfits like a masami ohbari anime and later she's giving autigraphs

fata55 comes by and he calls to her and pushes his way through but is stopped by the coips

like a dumba565 hew takes a (creally cr-ppyh) swing at a cop and is arrested

he's found the next day hanging from a lamp post by his guts as a message to thos ewho go against the cops

jk really the next day chick gets a phone call and might go to hollywood to ruin more stories into bad mnovies that change everything and censor the good stuff

fancya55 sez he wont marry her and she ok living in sin

later chick goes back to the aparte,mntand its empty and the last guy there tells her she f'd him up by ditching him after all the good he did for her

in court fata55 tells his life storyof being born in the circus like jerome in gotham who's mom was b00ning clowns

he sez how he went to see the chick llike hes the guy from perfect blue or w/e and gets 4 months in jail

dont drop the soap!

well, he IS brittish!

so later theres this blind guy going around looking like elton john and i think its fata55

it it and he meets chick and she is p-ssed at him

later in her rtoom they bicker and she tries to help him come back to his job and get off the booze

somnic sez; liqour is bad

he starts b--ching an then we see him perfporming for producers in a theatyre

he stumples on his lines when interrupted and chick helps her i mean him

he walks off and she follow and theres a swarm of fans wanting her autograpph

they reconsile and she kisses his cheek and returns to the inside

he walks on and retuerns to his singing group

the end

that wasnt so bad

nivce lite mild story

liker a cleaner less dark version of a star is born

its well acted and the momnent of the chicvk and main guy un the last encounter was like Charlie Chaplin in City Lights

good filming and style and feel and its a decent made film

simple and not too dark

For Sidewalks Of London 2 I want it to be WW2 and he's in an enemy slave camp but the masters like his singing and keep him aloive for entertainment and he and his band do different shows each night for theire captors. Also its a 32/64 bit mini game collection on Sega Saturn,. PS1, N64 and 3D0 where you play up to 4 players and work tyogether to beat mini hgames based on public domain plays

The Void Review

Note: I spell like thart guy from berserk! Wrong Void!!

Thge Void

This Is My Review On The Void From 2016 (The Year Of Cr-p In Robotech And Eaeth Folk Goping To Mars In Mazinsaga On Sega)

Its based on a story by H P Lovercraft and was directed by Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski who did Leprechaun Returns and PG: Psycho Goreman

It stars Kenneth Walsh from the day after tromorrow/Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver SurferFantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer/Survival of the Dead, Kathleen Munroe from Survival of the Dead, Ellen Wong from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Art Hindle (Niot Art Fortunes from Beetleborgs or Pat Hingle from the good/bad Batman filmsa) from Black Christmas and the 1993 tv movie liar liar, anbd a buncha guys I never heard of

It was made by crowdfunding like toejam and EaRL 4 AND a bunch of Piko Intreractive games, and filmed in soviet canada

reviews say its abovew average but imma do this cuz my wisconcuion homie wants me to dop this

maybe now he'd finally watch dbgt for me

So after like a minute of credits we get this guy running around as someone taker down this chick with a shotgu

these guys dump gas on her and torch her with a cigarette (whish mythbusters proved won't work)

then we see this guy in a white rovbe and a blaclk triangle on the face like some kinda daemon group klansman but no pointy hood

then credits and title

btw this is widescreen and colored

then we get this cop in a car chatting on da radio and he sees this guy stiumbling around

he chex him out andf drives him while to a radio chick and brings him to the hospital

the sttaff takes wounded guy off and alsop is thuis teen guy and girl in there, boy is patient girl is friend, watching night of the loving dead

teen girl creeps him out with photoes in a book and hospital death facts and goes off but the power in the hosp[ital flickers

theres this pregnant chick wirth her dad and they say there was a fire in this hospital b4

wounded guy is freakin out and the drs drug him and check him out as hes got wounds on him

theres am 80s/90s computer whuich makes me wonder when this takes place

cop chats with nurse and she gives him coffe or something even though pop is better

i think they are kinda in love and head dr comes by and sez wounded guy is ok but needs rest

dr talks about a kid who got it and comforts cop which i think means his kid got it

so cop looks around the hospital aND SEES A woman shanking this guys eye with a skewer while her face is covbedred in blood

shes comfused and sez its noyt her and this isnt her face andf goes at cop, so cop caps her a55 to h e double french canada!

more staff come by and are f'd up by it and cop goes off to puke asnd water his face

after some shots of Darkened Skyes cop wakes up and is told he had a seizure by drs and that a st8 trooper is come hoimself, cop gets an axe

cop sez hesgood and goes to the trooper and hetts i mean tells of his shooting

trooprt sez there was a masssacre newwarby and he suspectys the wounded guy as most ofg the blood on him wasnt his so they cuffed him to the bed

why noty juist snap wouir hand so you can squierm out?

trooper takes cops weapon and sez cops dad was a good cop

they go over who's here and cop goes to call it in but da phone dont work

he goos to his car and trys the radio but it dont work eitrher butr he sees aguy in a white sheet with a black triangle over the face

the power goes oput anfd the guy comes at him with a knife anfd pokes him but he fights the guy off

then theres a pack of em there and he rubns in

1 guy in a room is kinda devolving and has tendrils spazzing outy in his mnouth and covber with blood likle John Carpenters The Thing

so da staff treats his knife wound which is shooting blood anmd teen, who i guerss is a nurse, is freaked out

so they stopped da bleeding and the whites are out there standing silent and wounded guy wakes up and dreams out

theres trhis fleshy creature comming for him and cop breaks the bed rod and saves him, then closes the door after getting out

cop gets an axe  from a fire thing and some guys with guns come in and 1  holds a girl captive at knifepoint

head dr talx with the knife guy who's kinda posessed looking and he shanks dr in da neck

da fleshy thing comes in and rifelman caps it and it goesaxe coip goes after tr and its tentacling this guy and going in his face as the lights spazz out

it gets axed and grows a human head looking thing as the head gets blown apart by a gunshot and the creature gets chopped up by axe shots as goo spills out

oh and its not cop chopping it

so its dead and so is dr and shank guy is let the chick go after beingf pulled off

the guys beat out cop with an axe handle hit wjhen he wants em to calm down and get out and nearly axe his neck but is stopp[ed by a girl and guy

cop asks wtf is going on and leader of the guys wants to torch the body of the thing and guy who went urotsukidoji

so he's dumped out on a gurny on fire and 1 guy is smoking and a chick b--ches at him

leader tellsd em they won't stand a chance against another of those things and cuz he comments on the pregnant teen being a sl-t, the chick b--cheres out at him

pregnant teen is having womb issues and needs to nor be moved too much

cop terlls her to try to stay calm her dpown buyt chicxk sez the teen and kid in hewr are in danger and need help

cop tells the gang the teen and her kid need help and wants em to help em get supplies but they dont wanna

he says they can help eachortherr get more ammo and a gun and they agree ifd they get da gun

so thery go out and its pitch black but no vin diesal, deisal, deezel and the place with da sh-t is a bit away

preggo teen is on ther floor being cared for and worried aboyut her kid

wounded guy is handcuffed to a wall and is out cold and ther guys out there are at a car as cop trys to use da keys

nursde gets medical sh-t but a guy is behind her and it cuts to outside where the ghuys are at the car and it turns on

thertes robe guys all over and cop cap 1 with a shotgun like its devilman ova 1 and they get inside

cop sees nurse is gone and the gang is p-ssed she went off, also 1 haS a hanbd cut

cop and leader go to find chick and leader sez the cult iced the cut guys fam, but wot say what his backstorey is

its revealed that nurse chick is cops wife and after ghetting sh-t from the supply room, they go out and find a ringing phone calling from the morg

a voice calls him by name and offers to show him more and his wife had a hard time unbderstanding but he has good intentions

the voie is the dr who got it and asks if he wants to wind up like his dad and how his daugfhter getting it changed hiom and cop will understand soon and hes gonna help em

also in a box are photos olf the triangle thing

cop returns and tells teen nurse to handle things but she dont know what to do and worries about the cult comming in

cop is gonna do down somewhere and the gang interrogates the wounded guy with a hammer

wounded guy sez its the dr and he did em a favor by icing em but hes not dead now

they swing the hammer on his finger like johnny depps french wife who used a liquor bottle but just missed to scare him

he sez he went with a chick to get drugs but it was really to a farm house where they'd b0ne them in and were dressed in the robes and sacrificed people and devolved others

they are gonna throw him to the cult outside and the blankewt over the dr is there but his body aint

they go in te basement or w/e and teen nurse tels em to go to ther morg

its all dark and bluish and looks like a f--kin slup but i think rhey went down a place that shouldnt be there

yeah its a new staircase going down and and they go on it

you know, a good katana can slice through 3-5 guys in 1 swing, if they had 1 and knew how to use it, they could cut through the cult members like Golden Axe

wife wakes up in some kkinda operating room and is doozy and talking to dr about how he knows what its like to be cut up asd he talks about studying hjis own transformation

he wants to save someone he couldnt and how losing a girl ruined him as he does surgicval sh-t to his hand

imagine if you edited clips of doogie howswer in this?

so they find a room with a bnig a55 trtiangle in it that wounded guy was in a similar place b4 and the gang cleaned out a place like

wundefd guy sez they made em look at awful things wordse than people being devolved and f'd

so 16 and pregnaNTR IS POOPING OUT THE BABYAND TEENURSE TRYS TO GIVE HER A SHOT (f u caps lock) and she mellows out

in da basement is a door with the black tir angle and trhey go in with coip sdaying "this is it"

dr tells wife that after you bite it you get reincarnated and he trys tracking the steps and the body has to adsjust and i'm kinda lost

also he did black experiments that caused the fire that f'd the hospital

the creations wanna die but he wont let em and he's gonna end the tensei rebvirth thing

also he tells of her kid biting it cuz when it was born the cord strung it up

and now he's gonna bring back his daughter and when he pulls off her blanket, her but is pulsating like ther alien lair in some Contra Games

16 and pregnbant has blood on her groin and in da basement room; the gang interrogates wounded guy as this woman in red light does some psychic thing on gang leader and he starts beatibg on wounded guy

they stop him and see a devolved corpse guy banging his head on a spike in the wall and these silenty hill looking f--ks come out and the guys blow the heads with gunshotsd

teenurse is gonna c section preggo but cant

wounded junkie guy trys to garrot cop and this corpse comes up fromunder a sheet al;l twitchyt and spazzy

cop fights off junkie and they leave as the spazz corpse ghets junkie

grandpa tells teenurse to do it to xave preggo and his throaw is sliced and blood gushes out,kinda like in pewt semetary

oh it was preggo who did it who sez she was carrying the drs baby

the lights go out abnd the cult guys are there abndpreggo goes with em

teenurse goes around, uses the axe to block 1 door with 2 cult guys behind it, despityer there being more in the area and thats her only weapon, and locks heself in some room

cop goes through this house in whitye light and findsgang leader who blames him for it and fights him sayibg "you shouldve protected them"

he is pinned under an axe with the gang leader on him so he lights a flare and cooks his body

they they're back in the basement and in th uipper part, teen nurse is hiding as someone drags an axe around like its silent hill and she calls on the walkie talkie for help

cop goes around the lower area with an axe and finds wife nurse in the room with a huge gut

they have a moment and then the light goes ouyt an she's a pile of guts and tendrils and slop and dr sez he saw cop was revlived his kid bit it

cop somewtimes sees her as she usedto be and choips her up offscreeen with the axe

then theres an outline of the triangle on the wall and cop sez he sees dr as a monster who thinks he's God

dr tries to defy God and says he gained powers from forces beyond and neds 1 more thing

preggo and cult guys are behind him from outta nowhere and she shanks him in the lower right back

then preggo goes to the triangle and dr is skinless and sez his daughter will be reborn and hios followers will be transformed, including cop, who has to bite it 1st

then he does a chant to the triangle and poushes it with ki or we/e and beyond it is a white light

he puts his hand on hert head and sez to put his daughter in her and she spazzes outand ger gut pops in a bloodspray and this abomination comes out

it head crushes a clut guy and gang leader and 1 other comer in opening fire on the abomination

as it gowews after em it grabs leader weith a tentacle andleader shotguns its face but its stuff spills on him and he soaks himnseldf in lighter fluid and his homnie eventuallty uses a flare on him as the thing jams its tentacles in his body

other guy runs off as abiomionaTIUON GOES AFTER HIM and dr sez he sees the infinie astral workings as his body comes apart in the light

then cop axers him in the body but he tanks it and offers hi his wife back if he surrenders to him

he shoves thje dr through the trtigate and its gone like it never opened

remaining guy runs from trhe abomination as the walla closer behind him and helooks back to findits a solid wall whwere he just left and the hospital is normal

grandpas still dead and he finds tyeen nurse and both nearly wack wach other

then in this place like alien 1 or the doom dimension in bakugan, the cop and his wife are and theres a huge black puramid

thery hold hands and it goes black

the end

oh and credits to a 40s sounding bible song

pre production key set designe;r; damian fuchs

carpenter; keith bowser

digital matte painting; rui wang

brad jones? the cinema snob?

gary woodc-ck

this is why you should read the credits

theres some great names in there

but overall i liked this

giood 80s style horror

nice effects and gore

good creep style

nice story

good mystery

its well made and has good twists

glad i saw it

thanks to my wisconsion homie for showing me this

now watch dbgt!

For The Void 2 I want the couple from the 1st movie to be in this dark dimension and gradually be devolving into some kind of squid monkey bug creatures and the loner they stay, the more they devolve. Also its a 16 bit game like qwop on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where you play as them and go across the weird landscape and each level changfes the controls as your body is devolving into some kind of abomination and you gotta relearn how to move