Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Eating Raoul Review

note; I had a large rootbeer at mcdonalds and 2 cans of coke. but that was hours ago so my typing is just me being cr-ppy
eating Raoul
this is my review of eating Raoul
ive never seen this b4 so this is a new experience
it starts with silly credits like an early 90s film
ooh, arlon ober did the music
he worked on Robotech II the sentinels and a lotta 90s shows
it starts with Hollywood with people being deviants
it sez food and secks are linked
food fetish??
a chick buys booze from a beardo
his manager busts his a55 over selling good wine instead of cr-p
a homie sticks em up but manager wastes him in one shot
beardo's wife talks with a lusty guy shes nursing In the hospital
he gets her to give him a colonic (cola/tonic?) but she has a fruity guy do it
later beardo and wife wanna open a restaurant
his wife looks like a hermaphrodite btw
a lotta 80s people did
on the elevator to their place a buncha purvo's they ride with go to b0ne
so they need money
then this purvo comes in and tries to b0ne his wife
he slugs him in the gut but the purvo pukes
beardo gets a call about wine
he the purvo bites it in the toilet
she almoist calls the cops but he brings the body back to the secks party
they try to seduce him
this SM chick ties him with a whip and the purvo (I thought he was dead) tries b0ning the wife
so he busts his head with a frying pan
hes a credit card bank guy and has 600$ on him
then their friend arrives and beardo comes out to keep him out of the kitchen
he sez he was pounding the veal for tomorrow night
they choose to throw the purvo in the garbage bag
they need 20 000 $ for the place they wanna buy
they put the purvo in the trash compactor and talk about how to raise cash
b4 bed the wife sees the card from the SM chick
they talk about how theres too many purvoes out there and they're lucky to have eachother
I agree
the next day the purvo who had the colonic hassles her and finds the SM card
later beardo takes some fine wine to sell to a guy
they have a meal
wife goes to the bank for a loan
she looks a bit like lisa from Robotech with that hair and light outfit
the buying wine guy ditched beardo at the restaurant and drank his wine
bank guy tries to b0ne her but she fights him off and he sez she tried to b0ne him
at home colonic purvo comes in and tries b0ning the wife
husband fights, guy attacks him and she busts his head with a frying pan
he has lotsa cash on him and they decide to ice these purvurts to make cash
this is just like something out of Go Nagai
Or European Go Nagai, Paul Verhoeven
they get help from the SM chick and shes very nice
they find a flyer from raouls lock and key service for cheap
thy rent add space and a P O BOX and get lotsa replies
good thing this was b4 grindr
Raoul comes by and tries to upsell them a lotta cr-p they don't need
also the price is higher and he seems like a scammer
later a guy with an adult bABy fetish makes a mess and isn't dangerous or lusty
so she fakes being b0ned to get beardo to waste him
the next purvo is a nazzi fetish and he wastes him
at night Raoul comes I with his keys and sees the nazzi stuff
he swipes their cash and checks out the wife in her jammies
they wake up and confront him but he knows they killed em
they reveal they are the SM guys in the add and Raoul was gonna call em
he wants the bodies and to have a piece of the action
so they make a deal
after they waste a guy while he had a Minnie mouse fetish, Raoul brings in 700$ from the guys he got
later he tries selling a guy 500lbs of meat
their next purvo is late and beardo goes out
ed Begley jr comes in as a hippie fetish ad tries b0ning her but Raoul saves her by wasting him
we see her t-ts btw
they aint big though
I thought Raoul Julia was in this
Raoul gives her chronic I think
he flirts with her
he drugged her and did stuff
then we cut to beardo coming back and Raoul leaves
then  midget comes in with a big dog
later Raoul comes to the hospital to see the wife and they talk about them b0ning
se don't wanna risk her marriage and he don't wanna give her up
so he sez if she tries chronic again and they b0ne then he's stop
after they b0ne she's late for her shift
as she gets dressed he tries to get her to get rid of beardo
later bardo goes to a secks shop and p-sses off the guy working there
on the way to his car a car nearly ices him a few times
beardo thinks it wa Raoul and follows him the next day
turns out hes selling the bodies to dog food companies
also he sells the purvoes cars
he talks to his wife about it and fids c0nd0ms in her pants
he gets p-ssed and kills a guy w/o any secks stuff
beardo gets SM chick to play a nun to get him to repent of his evil
but it don't work
then he tries faking being immigration
but he don't do it
then she fakes being a nurse who sez he has a disease and gives him pills
its saltpeter which keeps kids from j-rkin off at camp
he knows beardo is onto him
later they need 25 000 $ or the place they want gets bought
so they go to their neighbors party and SM chick is there
wtf is that the mom from that 70s show?!
at the toilet she meets the banker who tries stuff but she wastes him
This is just like Violence Jack
The purvoes get iced
later SM chick leaves
she throes the bank guy out the window but he still has his cash
the purvoes go in the hot tub naked and get p-ssed at them not joining em
so beardo throws a lamp in the hot tub and fries em
then they sell the guys carsto a car carrier truck guy
man, this is a lot like a more fun version of risky business
but more icing
they make 40 000 $ in 1 night
but Raoul is at their place and wants to take her and breed with her and expand the business
so the wife wastes him
wife confesses to beardo but he forgives her
they are gonna leave but they got the guy selling them the restaurant
but they have no time to get dinner
what do they do?
they feed him Raoul
its in the films title
they get the restaurant
the end
in the credits
rick seaman
f g Roddick
this WAS a p0rn0e
lol special thanks
joe dante
hes good
on tcm they said the stars reprised their roles as the couple in the 80s horror film chopping mall
I have that on vhs
I liked it
good 80s cr-p
this film was good too
fun colorful and upbeat
with a weird 80s style and humor
I enjoyed it
and it never shows em b0ning
this could've been an ep of law and order if they toned down the language and covered the nipples
for eating Raoul 2 i'd like for the to be running the restaurant and wen someone steals from em they chop em up and serve em. but one guy they chop up was in a gang and the gang attacks the restaurant and they fend em off with weird traps thy placed in there just in case. so its like home alone meets riki-oh

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