Monday, June 5, 2017

House On Haunted Hill Review

note; I think my spellings improved. if nor, ur fault
house on haiunted hill
this is my review for house on haunted hill(19ver)
its hot Vincent price and Richard (dick) long
weird how long and lee can be asin names but ot always
I always thought lang was Asian
long and wang are Asian names. why not lamg?
ooh, its directed by William castle
love his work
it starts with a dark screen and scary sounds
in the theatre it would be better
then this guys head zooms in and sez its the most haunted house ever
7 people(even his bro) bit it there
he spent 1 night and nearly did too
then vincint price's head sez he rented this haunted place and if u stay the night you get a lotta cash
its his wifes idea
then he introduces the cast and sez they need cash
hes giving 10 000 $
its widescreen
after da credits they go in this weird artsy bilding
they go in and none of em know eachother
none have met vncent
also vincest is a millionare
the door closes and its locked
then the chandelier falls and 1 guy saves 1 chick
vincest talks to his wife who's dressed sexy for the 50s
vimcest sez he invited em all for a reason and they all need cash
she doesn't wanna go to the party
they dot get along
he sez she poisoned him b4
also hs on his 5th wife
hope they were 1 at a time
the 1st head guy sez his fam was chopped up there and the heads were never found
he asks vincest to all off the event but is turned down
the place is locked down, theres no power or phone, and no one for miles
vincest sez they're here for ghosts
the shrink sez there are none
1st appearing head guy sez 7 peoplr bit it and theres 7 of em
they see a bloodstain o the ceiling and blood drips on the chick
1st guy describes how someone bit it almost every place in da house
theres a vat of acid where a guy threw his wife ut her bones came up
1 chick (the young one)early falls in
they drop a dead rat in the acid to see it its still acid there
why are they going around the haunted house?!
just stay in 1 place until the sun comes up
1 guy chats with the young chick
he checks doors but goes in one and it closes and locks
then the candles go out
she seez a hag who walks off
then books it and sez theres a ghost to the guys
when she gets back da roomz lit up and the door open
the guy is ok and has a bump on da head
1st guy sez they hit him
the shirnk sez its hysteria but cant explane what happedned to the head hit guy(lance)
lance and the young chick go in the room with candles
he taps a wall and its hollow
turns out, theres a space between rooms
then out of nowhere she seez the hag and freaks out
the hag leaves and lance didn't see it
se goes off and meets the wife who shows the young chik to her room
wife grills her about knowing her husband
she tells her not to go anywhere in da house alone
she ten talks to lance and he don't believe in ghosts
she sez shes his 4th wife
the others got iced
she sez he'd kill her if he could and is jealous
she runs back to her room and Vincent shows up
hey talk and he sez she might wanna ice him (I think)
after its midknight and they're gonna have a meting
but young chick finds a head in a box
she wanders around and this guy grabs her and sez to come with him b4 "someone" kills her
she rund away and to the gang
the hag is revealed to be a caretaker who's blind
the grabing guy is a butler or w/e
vincest sez if any of em bite it, their 10 000 ets split up among the rest
young chick wants to leave but the place locks down at midnkight
he gives em guns but 1st guy sez they don't work on ghosts
young chick bring everyone to see the head
why'd she only do this now?!
when she gets back its gone
oh and the wife don't want a gun
candy a66]
the shirnk wanted to give young chick a sedative
shrnk whines about if others are there but vinsent sez theres ghosts
he sez he don't belive in ghosts
yeah cuz not believing in bears means they wont eat u
lance looks around and finds a head
he takes it and 1st guy sez they got her
they hear a scream and young chick hung herself
its revealed it was the wife who hung
not young chick
young chick meets lance and sez vicest tried to strangle her
he sez he thinks someone iced the hung one
the a guy ells lane they reached da same conclusiom and to meet somewhere
he gives young chick a gun and leaves
vinvest sees his wife but 1st guy is there and he gets p-ssed
the gang meets and wanna leave
but its a fortress of steel and stone
if they focused their ki they could punch through
vicest sez the wife was hung in a way that was hard to do alone
and one of them iced her
they sucpect eachother and decide to stay in their rooms
the innocent have no reason to leave
the guilty will reveal himself by leaving
but how will they know who if anyonre leaves?!
1 guy seez the doorknob turning but when he looks no ones there
the chick has blood drip on her hand
lance sees the chick and she sez it might not be vincest who attacked her
shrink sez vincest might try to ice her
he wants to try to leave and wanders around
so is he guilty?
he goes in  secret wall
its a storm outside and all the candles go out in her room
a rope moves around her feet and the wife is outside holding it
its like in shutendoji the tar hand kid were the oni wrapped its tongue around naked miyuki
she runs and finds the wife hanging
she runs and finds a player piano and freaks out
shrink visits Vincent and sez he heard someone walking
he has em split up and look for smeone who might be in danger
yeah, that's a good move in a horror movie
shrink talks to the wife who is alive
also they were planning to have someone kill someone
she is wearing a harness to fake being hung
they freaked out the young chick and sent vncest to find her
so she'll cap his a55
and the hamging will be called a "ghost party gag"
I think the shrink is b0ning the wife
Vincent comes down ad she caps him
in the closet was the shrik who opens the acid
the screen goes dark and we hear a splash
its not censorship like england and the human centipede
its for plot purposes
the wife comes down and the doors close
in the acid a skelton emerges
in the theatre they'd have a real skeleton come down the ceiling for this
it sez in vincents voice to come wth her and she freaks out and falls in the acid
this takes a while
shes just creaming and standing there
then out comes vincest with a wire and pulley system cotroling the skeleton
he sez he knew their plan and countered it
its like xanatos in gargoyles
young chick comes out and sez she shot him
but when they get there vincest is here and sez they tried to ice him but they fell in da vat
hes ready for trial and walks away
1st guy sez theres 9 ghosts in the house
now they'e come for him
then they'll come fpr us
creepy music and cr-p
the end
lol skeleton as himself
that was pretty good
good atmosphere and theme and effect
the remake f'd with a lot and made the ghosts real
here its ambiguous
for house on haunted hill 2 I'd like some kung fu masters to come there in the 90s and its got a lot more ghosts caught in it. they use their ki abilities to fight the ghosts and go around the haunted house to get to the core of it with a black magic item that powers it. its also a 2 player beat em up on sega genesis and suoper Nintendo and you have  Ki meter that you can charge for more power and unleash ki blasts or waves

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