A place where I post silly reviews of various movies from an "everyman" or "contrary" P O V. Done in the style of a newspaper article and a grade school book report. Don't take these seriously. Its all in good fun. Also, each review ends with a crazy sequel idea.
Monday, June 19, 2017
Wait Until Dark Review
note; I'm watchin this for da 1st time so my typing might s-ck
wait until dark
this is my review of wait until dark (1967 ver(was there another?))
its got audry Hepburn and alan arkin
I liked alan arkin in the heart is a lonely hunter
ive only seen audry in breakfast at tiffianies and didn't care much for that
it starts with a guy putting drugs I a doll while this big hair chick gets ready
she wants drugs to look like candy bars
yeah that wont lead to kids eating em
her name is lisa like the chick from Robotech
as she goes to da air port they play credits
ooh, efrem Zimbalist jr is in this
he was alfed in batman the animated series
she gets through secrurety as they dot suspect the doll
if this were made today they'd've felt her all over and call it a safety precaution while letting real bad guys untouched
after her plane ride she gives the doll to a guy
we also see someone with a similar doll (I think)
this guy asks a punk kid about where something is and the kid gives him lip
if this were made nowadays he'd be swearing and maybe black
they go to the place with a note saying; come in I'm out lisa
they loo around and eat her foods
turns out its the wrong lisa living there
then guy comes in and knows em
its alan arkin
I think
he knows they and lisa faked doing some con artist thing and lisa got away while the other 2 were arrested
alan arkin wants them to find lisas doll
alan arkin sez she gave someone the doll cuz she was being followed or something
they turn him down and he pulls a knife
so the get items like a pointy tripod and mace and chair and he lets em do what they want
then they fnd lisa in the closet bag
how could that bag hold her body up?
alan arkin sez she was going into business for herself
they gon leave but he reveals they left their fingerprints all over the place
and now they gotta work for him
clever girl
ahhhhhhhhh
then Audrey comes home and they stay still
her eyes are dead
too bad she didn't sense their ki
one time in the year 199X(I don't recall the exact year) I was in the school and and sensed something behind me
I turned and saw a guy charging at me
I evaded him
she almost bumps into the guys and whats left of lisa but doesn't and leaves
later Audrey and efram process photo's in a lab and talk about a body being found
later efram sez if the lady calls about the doll, tell her he hasn't found it
she drops a food and her husand sez she can find it herelf or he'd tell her
he suggests her becoming better at sightless movement by going for a walk or something and they hug
also this chick that keeps getting mentioned named Gloria is having issues and Audrey thinks he wants to b0ne
later she smells smoke and calls for help
but efram comes back(wait its not him) and he reveals its a cigarette in an ashtray that caught fire
as she cant see she cant tell where smoke is coming from so it freaks her out
I never knew that
I do know midgets don't like dogs
o one of those tlc midget shows they said it
cuz they are smaller than em
imagine a dog b0ning a midget!!
the guy sez hes the husbands army buddy or something and he fakes seeing pictures of himself
its revealed a fire in a car accident killed her eyes
he leaves and Gloria comes in
Audrey asks Gloria to helo defrost the fridge so she opens it and clicks a switch
but Audrey sez that's only for new fridges
shes gonna leave w/o closing the fridge door
she wont do it and Audrey yells at her
so Gloria starts throwing knives and items on the floor
what a b--ch
then they regret their actions and bond
wtf
then a big soviet looking guy busts in, yells for her husband to "leave her alone", steals her picture, and leaves
the army buddy comes in and helps her
but instead of caling the cops, he calls a phone booth
the con artist comes in and fakes being a cop
he gives a signal in the window to alan arkin and alan calls them
the fake cop grills her on if her husband knew the girl wjo was found
amy guy defends her and fake cop leaves
she notices the fake cop was cleaning
then a guy comes in saying hes mr roat(the name the lisa used at her hotel)(and I think the name alan arkin used)
he tells them the soviet guy was his crazy dad who thinks his wife is b0ning a guy
also something about a doll
army guy gives a signal and a call is made to their place
he sez to talk to roat and roat runs out after a few secs
Audrey sez her husband had the doll cuz in Canada a woman gave it to him
said it was for 1 girl and she didn't want another girl 2 c it
she heard the doll fall on the ground after he go back
she notices her wedding picture is gone
shes worried the cops think her husband is under investigation and cant go to the cops
army guy sez Theres a cop car outside
after looking for the doll she sez everyone is fiddling with the window and after each fiddle, she got a call
oh and roats shoes are new and squeaky like his dads
wow, this is good
like detective conan
he wants to check the safe but she sez the last owner left it and dropped the key in he sewer
he leaves and talks to the fake cop about pressing her until se gets the doll or gets the safe after he leaves
glora comes by and helps her find out its a vw beetle outside
the fake cop looks in and Gloria sees him
oh and Gloria haf the doll and was borrowing it
she hides it in the dish washer and sez to call the phone bootrh ad let it ring 2x
and bang on the water pipes if audrey needs help
the fake cop comes in but she has him look for damaged stuff as Gloria escapes
he grills her but she wants to talk to roat
he calls the phone bootrh and alan aerkin answers
she tells him to stop or be legally f'd
he leaves but Gloria saw them at the phone booth and calls arduey to ring 2x and stop
fake cop leaves and she calls the number army guy gave her
she tells him she has the doll
she gets it, then changes her mind and hides it under the garbage bag in her can
army guy and the other 2 come by but she sez the doll is in the studio and she tells em where to get it
after hey leave she bangs on the pipe and talks to Gloria
she sends Gloria for help and she gets by fake cop
Audrey realizes the pone is cut so she busts all the lights in her place
she sets traps like home alone and I hink has something alled "hypo" in a plant
the army guy returns and sez there was no doll there
she talks with him and they reveal he was in a criminal thing with the guys
someone gets run over after he sez he was gonna kill roat
he's come to respect her strength and leaves, but is iced by roat alan arkin
turns out alan arkin killed the fake cop
btw alan arkin wears sunglasses at night
he starts spreading gasoline and hassles her
in the real version I think he was b0ning her
he starts a fire on a newspaper and hold it to her so she can feel da heat
she sez shes gonna tell him
alan arkin sez he knew they wanted to ice him and outfoxed em
he sent a message to her husband saying his woman was in a thing and to meet at the hospital
he torments her with a cloth like that guy in alex mack with dryscoll getting interrogated wiha pencil sharpener
she splashes him and kills the lights
he lights a match so she throws gasoline on him til he puts it out
we get black screen as he is made to tap the floor to show where he is
he opens the fridge and the light from it shows everything
he has the upper hand and she finally gives him the doll
the doll plays a music box tune and he opens it
he takes her to the bedroom to b0ne her dead but she shanks him with a kitchen knife
she tries to getta way but he comes after her
she pulls the fridge plug and the lights go out and she screams
the end
just kidding
it goes on
but that would be a sick ending
the real cops come in and so does efram and Gloria
shes ok
they hug
the end(for real)
then we get a song and showing who played who with film footage
man there was like 8 people in this film
and most of it was in 1 room
musta been easy to film
wait, on tcm they said it f'd Audrey's marriage
still that was good
not much sizzle, lotsa steak
good pacing and build up
and a good result
well made and well acted
plus its smart
for wait until datk 2 i'd like for it to be the 80 and she's trained with samurai to learn martial arts and better use of ki and she can now function well without her eyes. she also helps cops by finding thinks the eyes can miss. sorta like a reverse sue Thomas f b eye. and this time shes dealing with 80s homies who sell drugs to people that rots out their eyes. so this time, its personal. also its also a 16 bit platform game on sega genesis and snes where you play as a roided up Audrey Hepburn who fights druggies to get evidence guarded by a boss and hidden in areas that she can find with her other senses. oh and the bosses are on super drugs tat make em invincible but it burns em out the more they move, so you gotta keep em going until they rot. also she has kung fu and ki powers. oh and she has a samurai katana and can ct through guys some times
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