Eraserhead Review

note; I never saw this b4. my thoughts and speling aint perfectp

eraserhead

this is my review on eraserhead

its by david lynch who did a lot of cr-p I never saw

except dune over a decade ago

it starts with some weird hair guy pverlayed in space over a rock

theres some wind sounds

wtf am I watching?!

I think the rock is moving

hard to tell

we zoom in on the rock to a house and a hole in da roof

its heavy shadow and black/white

if yoshiaki kawajiri directed this it would look awesome

like ninja scroll or cyber city oedo 808

some guy who looks rotted is in shadow an pulls levers and the main guy from space has overlayed sp-rm flying away from him

the sp-rm lands in a water thing

is this life beginning?

or did he j-zz in a puddle?

the camera goes through a white opening in a tunnel and main guy gos to a building

he walks around lke Charlie chaplain and steps in a puddle

was there j-zz on his shoe?

this has kind of a cabinet of dr caligari vibe

its weird silent distorted backgrounds

main guy goes in a building and its got a weird tim burtony floor

he goes up an elevator and looks kinda like brendon fraiser(anyone remember him?)

on the floor he gets off some chick invites him to dinner

he goes to his apartment and plays a record

after sitting silent for a bit he looks art a ripped photo

he goes out and theres either steam or smoke from something

he talks to some blonde about her not coming around anymore

he goes in for dinner an theres this geezer chick with em

a dog has a buncha puppies sucking its t-ts

dog nipples are like centipede legs; theres too many of em

and they having dog milk for dinner?

they talk about work and the blonde starts acting like a dog a bit

is she a furry?

a guy (bill )talks about how the neighborhood went to h-ll and his knees are f'd

the geezer (the blondes mom) stirs the salad of this grandma like chick and gives her a smoke

at dinner bill (the dad) sez he had an operation on his arm years ago

dr sed it would work anymore

so he rubbed it and got it back

but it went numb

dad has main guy carve a blue jay or some small cooked bird and it moves and bleeds

the mom has a freakout

then the blonde

is... is this a p0rn0?

were they b0ning in the real version??

I cant tell

later mom brings main guy in a closet and asks if he b0ned the blonde

he sez sorry and she starts doing mouth stuff to his face

blonde stops her and mom sez blonde pooped out a baby and its premature

after theyre married they can pick it up

its ot a sega game you get for getting a good grade!

later she's feeding the baby and its a weird slimy puppet

main guy brings some small thing for his puppet son

I think the real father is Kermit the frog

puppets b0ning humans?

is this pee wees playhouse?!

got some lusty puppets there

main guy looks t this metal thing and light come outta it

holy cr-p its been like 35 mins

nothing happened

just weird people moving slow

but unlike 2001 a pace odyssey, its interesting

or maybe its just cuz this is my 1st time

after the puppet crys at night the blonde yells at it

she then snaps and goes home for a night of sleep

she yells at him to take care of things while she's gone

if you want it done right, do it urself!

I its crying it needs something

the chick from b4 comes down the hall

in the night the puppet is calm and main guy puts a thermometer in its mouth

why not the a55?

does it have an a55?

holy f!

it suddenly cuts to dissonant music and the puppet covered in dots and moaning

freekjin picture of dorian gray!

he sez its sick and boils steam near it

right as he opens the door togo downstairs the pup[per crys and he checks it

it calms down but when he opens the door it does it again

so he stays with it

aw f it looks awful

like its got aids rot

later the metal thing lights up and we get a thing of a checkerboard floor an a chubby blonde chick with face swellings dancing

big noodles of sp-rm fall from the ceiling as she smiles and shuffles back and forth to music

then she steps on a  sp-rm

then another

is this a p0rn0?

is he j-rkin off?

then hes in bed and the blonde (I think) is taking up too much bed and all greasy

he keps pulling out intestine looking things from her and throwing em on the wall

this cupboard of the wall is shown with spotlight on it

then we get stop motion intestine piece moving around

it goes in a thing and we see main guy sitting in bed

I just realized if that guy got his arm working by rubbing it, why not rub the puppet to heal it?

main guy opens the door ad the chick from b4 comes by saying she locked herself outta the apartment

I think she wants to b0ne him

the puppet crys but he covers its mouth

she asks to spend da night there and they b0ne
I think they b0ne in a cauldron

its full of milk

we see the rock and then the chubby face swell girl singing about in heaven everything being fine

main guy gets on the floor with the girl and light shines on em and she vanishes

then he sees a rotted guy and the wind blows the dead sp-rm away

a tree wheels in and main guy's head pops off like a toy as a huge sp-rm is in him

blood oozes out his head on the floor(paper mache head) and his body grows his puppet sons head

his head falls onto the street and a guy gets it

I have no idea whats going on

say what u will about tommy wiseau but at least his movies made some form of sense

as in; u could tell whas happening

the kid who grabbed the head taes it to a place with 2 guys and they drill it

oh

they use it as a pencil sharpener

they turn on a pencil machine and make more pencils

then main guy wakes up and stands around

the puppet makes some sounds and moves

the puppet makes cackling sounds according to the closed captions I leave on so I can get a 2nd chance to get their words I miss

he looks out and sees the chick

later he cuts thre wrappings on the puppet and it freaks out

the wrappings open up and its all weird inside

he scissors the insides and the puppet pukes blood as the insides ooze

the insides release creamy cr-p and it keeps erupting

its neck extends as the lights flicker

the head teleports between light flashes and is huge

then the light goes out and the rock from b4 busts open

we see the rotted guy holding a lever as sparks fly

in a soft white light area the chubby blonde hugs main guy

then the credits roll

the end

wtf sissy spacek helped make this

wtf did I just watch??

I'm not sure what I just sat through

its like a dream but not a dream

I have no idea what this is about other than maybe putting deformed people to sleep

I hope its not that cuz dats horrible

I kinda liked it

I mean I didn't hate it

but man that was strange

everything people did in parodies of david lynch is true

for eraserhead 2 i'd like for the main guy to wake up and the chubby blonde with face swelling is there and revealed to be his daughter from the future. also he's pregnant with her as after he b0ned the neighbor chick, the puppet kid controlled him to release him from the wrappings and the head extending went into him and got him pregnant with the puppet kid(who needed to finish developing and the mom was out). the rest of the movie is the main guy being pregnant and having weird fantasies until he poops out the finished kid, the blonde from the future.